eAsylum

for a little background.

So I have gone down hill. I don’t know if its depression or what the fuck it is. I don’t want to get out of bed, I don’t want to do any work. I don’t want to meet friends. I feel they just don’t understand or I am not connecting with them. I am cynical and just wallowing in past. I never thought id have such a hard time accepting all this. I was fine for a month. But now I have just lost all perspective.

I don’t want him back but god knows how hurt I feel. I just cant seem to think about anything else.
Read the rest of Downfall »

I don’t know what I am trying to accomplish by posting this but I just need to get some perspective.

I was seeing this guy in the summer. I ended things with him when he told me was not sure if he wanted a relationship. A moth later he comes back “changed”. realized what a mistake he made. How he wanted me and no one else. Bla bla .

I really liked him and we got back together. I could see all the effort he put in the new relationship. But I realized I was still hurt by what happened at the end of summer and i was holding back.
Read the rest of Breakup and moving on. »

Let me start of by giving a very brief history of my mental struggles (I could write pages about all the different ways anxiety has manifested itself physically and mentally in my life over the past few years) Starting in 7th grade in middle school I felt anxiety for the first time. It happened at lunch, for the first time in for as long as I could remember as I got my food and entered the table area I didn’t know where to sit.

For some reason this perceived feeling of being alone and unwanted triggered a terrible feeling in my gut right then and there, and it seems like I have experienced anxiety on a relatively consistent basis since. I am currently a sophomore in college and have had waves of anxiety come and go, with the exception of last year which went pretty smoothly. I feel like I can owe this to a friend that pretty much was always there and made me get out of my shell, we ate at the dining halls every night, he invited me to parties with him, etc. At the start of this year I was pretty much on my own, I had to resort to living with a random in the dorms again. Most people I know live off campus, as well as that specific friend.
Read the rest of very low confidence/self esteem.(anonymous post) »

Alright,

My heads in a mess trying to work out how i really feel.

Background
Im 23, have had a bunch of previous gf’s and have slept with a number of people. Now one part is that some of my previous gf’s i am still friends with (3+ years has passed since i was with them, and no longer have any feelings like that for them)
She is 21 and has pretty much has had nothing.

So i met her one night last year and got her number,
we spoke then hung out and then i asked her out.
Read the rest of should i give things a second chance? »

I broke down a bit late last night. I was looking at some old videos on YT from 2000-2001 and I was trying to grasp at the fact that I was a happy teen back then. I do have a habit of being drawn to older years, ’98-’01. Because in the late ’90s, I was happier and with the early ’00s, I know I didn’t do much in life. Somewhat happier then, yes, but I could have done more then. Thinking like this seems to happen once and in a while. Whenever I’m down, I kick myself and want to just travel back.
Read the rest of Need to get some stuff out. Am I going insane? »

I don’t know if I have adult ADD or what, but I cannot focus on anything. Work and personal stuff included. My thoughts are racing all day long to the point where I can’t concentrate or accomplish anything.

My health insurance covers mental health but their "find a doctor" tool is useless.

Can someone give me some tips to find a good therapist or doctor?
Do you know anyone who is seeing a therapist? Maybe start there. If that therapist doesn’t fit you then maybe they can provide some suggestions.
Read the rest of Need some help finding a therapist/physchiatrist. »

So I’ve always had this ability which is both a gift and a curse. I can take one little idea, symbol, whatever and just connect it to so many other ideas and connect those to others, etc. I’ve always been very good at analyzing literature because I naturally overthink everything, every little detail.

But this becomes a huge problem when I try to make any decisions. Take buying a car. I think about the usuals at first, price, reliability, performance, features. Just these features can be overwhelming to think about but then I think of more: do I want an SUV vs. a sedan, who do I believe about reliability, should I go cheap and economical or spend and get luxury, which of these is the moral choice, etc. and it just keeps spiraling out of control. I’ll even find my thoughts connecting to how I make ALL my decisions in life, just from thinking about a new car. And I can’t stop this. I have tried so many times to just let go of these thoughts and I can for a bit but then I fall back into it. It cripples me because I hardly ever make decisions. Deciding on what college to go to was impossible; I ended up just choosing what most other people suggested.
Read the rest of How to stop overthinking? »

So lately I’ve been getting some really drastic moodswings 1-2 times each month. My normal disposition is that of a super kind, caring empathetic individual – I feel guilty for so much as accidentally stepping on a bug, and the two most common things that other people say about me is that I am nice/sweet. I am currently on Zoloft and Wellbutrin for depression & anxiety, which I’ve had to some degree ever since I hit puberty. These mood changes occur regardless of whether or not I am on the medication, and at the same frequency, so I do not feel that it is related to either of the drugs.
Read the rest of Getting very dramatic mood changes(anonymous post) »

I moved into my new dorm room today and it’s been great so far. I have a single and my suite mates seem nice enough. But what the hell…

Either there is one insane OCD germaphobe or my suite mates are all ridiculous when it comes to showers. I was up all night writing a paper and twice I heard someone taking a shower for an hour and a half. I can’t even fathom the amount of unnecessary water consumption.

The worst part is I can’t even say anything just yet because I’m the new guy. Am I overeacting? It just seems such a selfish use of resources.
Read the rest of Just a rant »

It is very hard for me to type these words. It is painful. This is because I came to these forums for help so many times in the past, then finally went and got professional help, and now I’m back here. It means that I’m not really improving.

I don’t want to see my psychiatrist again. My piece of shit insurance company denied paying his bill and I think he doesn’t want to see me anymore because I owe him money ($900). I paid him $80/session out of my pocket for a few months. I tried to schedule a 1 on 1 meeting with him but he kept coercing me into coming into group therapy. Since I couldn’t get any 1 on 1 time I could never really tell him anything personal because of the other people there. So I got the impression that he just doesn’t want to see me and that hurts pretty bad because I really like him. So now there is nobody to turn to except the internet again. I stopped taking the medication he prescribed me and when I told him he asked me "how do you feel"? I replied that i feel fine and that was the last time I saw him.
Read the rest of God the pain is back and feels so bad. »