"Trad" or traditional rock climbing

House/Jungle DJ
Back country Snow Biking
Gold panning / gem collecting
Drums
Vertical Caving / Technical Spelunker
Song writer
widdling
Yeah but see most have some natural talent, I have none. Im not good at anything. I thought I would be a good dad and that my point in life was to have a family to take care of and now thats gone.
Take off the blinders, the whole world is in front of you.
Doesn’t always have to be an obvious talent like playing an instrument or knowing how to cook.

You can be a quick learner.. maybe you’re good at telling stories.. or something you haven’t found yet.

Everyone’s good at something.. unless you sleep 24 hours a day.
You’ve got to work at it man.

I’m pretty jealous of my little brother. He’s a NATURALLY talented tennis player. I mean, his body is perfect for tennis. He’s lanky, his reach is long, he can sprint and his arms are bowed just perfectly to play tennis. He rarely ever trains but he kicks the ass of every kid in the region.

I can do a lot of things, but I’ve had to work like a horse to be nearly as good with any of the things I can do. But it’s my life’s goal though, to just have a lot of skills. I like to learn how to do new things and I’m just naturally good at learning really fast. I try to force myself to learn at least 3 new skills a year. I set a goal and then my steps on how to achieve them.

For example, last year, I set my goal to learn how to speak spanish semi-fluently, weld and drive rally sprints. Those were my goals.

So I took spanish classes twice a week in the evenings. Then I went to one of my friends who is a welder and apprenticed him on the weekends for an hour or so. And I bought a AWD Civic for $150, played some rally simulation games then just went out and learned on private roads and went to rally cross when they had them.

I suffer from a lack of a social life, but it was important enough for me to learn those skills.

This year, I want to learn how to pick a lock, play the guitar, shoot a bow, and ride a horse. And I’m taking the appropriate steps to learning how to do that.

I’ve been doing this since I was 8 years old.

Things I know I’m very good at:

- Martial arts. I’ve been training since I was 8. Judo, Juijitsu, Tae Kwon do, Boxing, Muay Thai, kickboxing, wrestling.
- Computers. I’ve been working in the IT field for about 5 years now dabbling in everything.
- Driving. Auto-cross, track and rally for a few years now.
- Welding. Played around and then seriously took on skills last year.
- Art. Been doing sculpting since I was 11.
- Woodworking. My grandfather was a very good woodworker, I have been doing it since I could hold a tool.
- Acrobatics. Been doing gymnastics since I was 10.
- Dancing. Ballet, Jazz, Tap, Hip-hop. I’ve been doing all of them since I was 14.
- Singing. Was in choir all throughout school and had private lessons.
- Calligraphy. My parents made me take calligraphy classes when I was young.
- Ice skating. Parents put me in figure skating classes when I was 6, I skated for 2 years.
- Swordsmanship. Been practicing everything from Fencing to Kendo since I was 10.

It’s a lot of stuff and I have had to devote a LOT of time to all of it. Like I said, I don’t have very much time for a social life because of it. But I enjoy learning all of these skills. If you aren’t naturally talented then you have to really work hard at it.
Aside from writing, fitness, and being all-around flexible with IT, I have nothing else going for me.
A friend explained the following recently and it seemed to adequately clarify some of my confusions throughout life. So think of intelligence as being on a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, smartest people. (This explanation also applies to any talent).

Let’s say that at level 10 are the people that are truly gifted. These are the prodigies, the people that just have it. People with photographic memories, the musicians that are able to master an instrument at a very young age and others like Einstein that seem to have supernatural intelligence. There are many examples of these people throughout history but generally they are gifted well beyond normal levels of aptitude. They truly are the best of the best, even if they don’t fully utilize their talents throughout their life.

On the other end of the spectrum are the truly dense. These people exist at the 1 and perhaps even 2 on the scale. These are people that simply aren’t able to comprehend even the most basic logic. It’s unfortunate that people exist at these low levels but there are some that truly do. We can put the severely mentally retarded, those with physical injuries to the brain and anyone from Arkansas in this category. Ok…I’m just kidding about the people from Arkansas.

Then there are the people in between these two extremes. Looking at the top of this group, they would exist between 7 and 9 on this scale. These are people that have varying levels of intelligence and talents. Some are smarter than others and many seem to be truly gifted but one thing seems universal with this group, they have to work hard to realize their success. While their hard work and previous successes fuel more hard work and more successes, they do have to work really hard to get to the top.

For much of my life, I’ve confused those people in the 7 to 9 range with those in the 10 range. The good news, there’s lots of good news. First, most people will don’t and will never exists at the extremes. Next, we can reach much higher than we ever thought possible with hard work. Finally, don’t confuse those in the 7-9 range with those in the 10 range. Those in the 7-9 range simply worked very hard to get to those levels.
I play guitar at an intermediate level, but would definitely ask the genie (you know, three wishes) to give me musical talent to play just about any instrument expertly. To me, that would be one of the greatest things I could hope for.

I’d also wish I had more talent as an author, and was able to write novels and make a good living doing it. Few things make me more envious than reading an excellent book, knowing that I just couldn’t put one together myself.

I also wish I had a talent for language. I think it would be amazing to be able to speak numerous languages fluently.
Thomas Edison once said, "Innovation is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration"…..or something like that….at least I think it was Edison.

Ok…well someone, somewhere in history once said something like that and if they didn’t, someone should have……so I’ve done so now…..so there.
There is no such thing as talent.

Only people who practice more than someone else.

While you’re busy jerking off they’re probably busy drawingdoing whatever it is they’re good at.

That doesn’t explain prodigies….like kids that are 5 years old playing the violin better than professional musicians.
If you don’t have a natural talent you have to create your talent like the rest of us. I started learning to program in middle school and today I run my own business because of it. I didn’t have a natural talent for programming (unless you count being highly logical and/or mostly using the left side of my brain) and I just put a lot of hard work into it and became pretty good at it. I just decided to focus on something that I was interested in. Do you have any hobbies?

It always makes me laugh when people tell me that I’m lucky to be self employed. There was no luck involved, only hard work.

You know what they say, luck is the coming together of preparation and opportunity.

My brother is insanely successful yet I hear so many people say he’s lucky. Fuck that, he was sacrificing and working his ass off while they were in the bars drinking away their college years.
ya im in the same boat.

i feel my best talent is just being bad at everything.

Thread starter just mentioned my talent: taking up space. And I take up a LOT of space.

Just kidding, I have no talent. Even at taking up space. And I have nothing going for me at the moment.
I find it’s more rewarding to learn a talent, rather than just being born with one.

I naturally have a very nice singing voice, but I don’t do anything with it. Sure it’s handy when I show off here and there for friends at karaoke or some bullshit, but other than that my singing doesn’t define me.

I’d be much prouder of myself if I had no clue how to play guitar and I made myself learn.
sort of, but only because that means i can be really really good at something without even trying or putting in any effort. it allows me to be lazy and not come off as such. on the other hand, those that tend to have a natural knack for things, tend to do them more often, so they’re practicing that skill set a lot as well.

then again, i’ve never tried to just be good in one area. i’m sort of a "jack of all trades, master of none". i like having a bit of knowledge about everything and being able to hold my own in any given arena. it allows me to blend in and experience a bunch of different things, which is part of the reason why i’m trying out new things to begin with. if i come across something i like to become good at, then i try out and at least become decent in that arena. same thing applies to stuff that i realize i don’t know, i’ll do my best to learn about it.

it could be arrogance, but i feel that if i really apply myself to one area, i’ll become really good at it. perhaps not on the level of a prodigy or expert, but above average at the very least. it’s just that i really have no interest in reaching that level in most areas of life.

No related posts.

my last job i worked at a bakery and whenever someone was showing me stuff they would give the look

one time someone was explaining to me very long windedly how to mix ingredients, and afterwards i just said "wum"

ever since then people started calling me wum or wummy, or mr. wumbles.

if someone tells a joke they make sure to explain to it me, or they don’t tease me like the others like i’m retarded or something.

one of the ladies even hugged once for no reason

what’s up with that?
maybe you come off as stupid, slow, and perhaps slightly mentally challenged? that’s a serious answer.

Well, I guess the first question is are you retarded? No, just kidding.

Are you the youngest?

watch this, are you kevin?

not the youngest at work but i am the youngest in the family

maybe people are reading my body language wrong?

I’m not super duper expressive. whenever someone talks to me i just look at them and let them get it all out rather than nodding my head like a chipmunk.

maybe they’re reading your body language wrong, or maybe your body language is wrong. if someone is nodding their head and saying "oh yeah that makes sense", then typically i don’t have to worry about whatever i’m explaining. if they’re just standing there, their eyes glazed over, deer in the headlights look…. i’ll probably re-explain things, or ask them if they understand.

ask your coworkers, they may be able to give you a better idea of whats going on. seeing as how 99% of OT has never met you, and no idea how you are in social interaction.

My guess?

You come across as being immature, insecure, or otherwise incapable of handling yourself or doing things yourself.

Stop focusing on HOW other people treat you, and focus on WHY they treat you this way.

But generally, people are protective of others because they seem like they need it.
at you being kevin

edit: forgot the actual input. if you just stare at someone, they are likey to think you dont understand or dont care. real world is about people skills, even if you arent 100% comfortable acting like everyone esle, you will have to learn it eventually
mods, I just realized this is the vaginarium. Can this be moved to the Asylum please

I wondered that too… it’s not really a response.
That’s how I’m like. Nobody knows how to diagnose it but the closest thing they’ve come up with is a mild form of aspergers. People don’t treat me like that so much anymore now that I’m older…they expect me to have grown out of it or just think that I’m a little off. So embrace it while it lasts
Since I don’t know you irl and have nothing to go off of besides your many threads I am thinking of a recent one where you asked people if they preferred a very expressive person versus one that comes off almost socially and emotionally retarded. In other words, it sounds like you come off almost ignorant. Maybe you don’t realize it, but you possibly make dumb expressions or have made dumb decisions in your past and now people treat you so

From the way you describe your body language, I would assume you were slow or at very least socially awkward if I randomly met you in the street. I work with a kid who is in fact very intelligent, interesting, and an incredible artist. However, he gives off this aura of an awkward lack of any self-confidence. He talks very quietly, never separates his teeth while talking, and many of his mannerisms and his body language are off.

Everyone at first thinks he’s odd, girls don’t go for him ever – even though, despite all this, he’ll still try to flirt with them – but once someone gets to know them, they develop a sort of babying, protecting friendship with him. Seriously, I wish I had the balls to tell him that until he changes his mannerisms, he’s going to be left in the dust socially.

I think there’s a parallel here: it seems either by difficulty or unwillingness to adapt to generally accepted social behaviors – you negatively describe nodding as squirrel-like, for example, yet this is a very normal action – you are alienating yourself from your would-be peers. At this point, it seems as though you have a decision to make: assimilate normal social behavior and be socially accepted, or continue to ignore it and be coddled by others who you’ve unwittingly convinced to think you have a deficiency of some sort.

The chipmunk reference alarms me, it leads to me think that perhaps you’re scared of losing some of your identity by adopting the body language that everyone else uses. I honestly hope, for your sake, that you are not so naive. Your body language is a communication tool, similar to language; would you define yourself largely by the language you speak? I’d hope no one would define themselves by language; how boring would you have to be for that to be a noteworthy characteristic? Just as someone wanting to be taken more seriously would work on their spelling or grammar, if you’re deficient in your usage of body language, you should seek to improve it. No one improves grammar or spelling by inventing it on their own; they instead adopt the generally accepted rules. Why not do the same with body language?
So I’m curious about the normal, socially competent crowd…did you become that way by just acting or copying everyone else around you?

Because when I do that it is extremely mentally exhausting. I hear from others though that being social is quite energizing.

I’m not sure if you’re mocking or serious, but I’ll go ahead and hope you’re serious so that I don’t look like a buffoon lol . I would venture a guess that it’s like any other learned behavior or language. Initially you internalize the rules – which seem unfamiliar and confusing at first, as you lack a total understanding of the rules – of the behavior by mimicry. Soon, you become familiar with the rules and begin to understand why and how they apply to situations. Eventually you come to a point where you have become comfortable and adept enough to bend the rules to suit your style and individuality.

This is just my personal opinion, put together after no more than a few minutes thought, and I am by no means qualified to make any of these opinions, lol. However, after reflection, my answer to you would be that yes, social behavior is at first mimicked, after which it is then understood and later individualized and improvised.

Thanks, that makes more sense. And yes, I was serious
The youngest in the family often get babied and too many things are done for them.

My family did it in the form of put downs. i.e.

"lets wait for your father/brother to make sure you did it right"
"no, you don’t know how to do it, ill do it"

etc.

You end up not knowing how to act up and get things done or how to stand up for yourself because you are convinced everybody knows how to do stuff better than you.

I’d recommend you just go out and do things. Preferably things where you can learn a skill. Good things to try might be woodworking, car repair, guns, cooking etc. Individual or 2 man sports like tennis, boxing, wrestling, etc are also good ways to build up your confidence and trust in your own abilities.

Also, learn about body language. Doing things like standing and waiting for someone to show you what to do will elicit protective or domineering emotions in people. Don’t stand at attention infront of someone like you are a private getting a talking to from his captain. Move about freely and don’t look to people constatnly for direction.

I was just confused. it’s an exclamation in the place of fuck, shit, etc.

wum? that’s funny… just say fuck or shit next time. People know how to react to fuck and shit… they don’t know how to react to ‘wum’…
1. Wum 6 up, 79 down
Exclamation expressing any emotion.
"You suck!"

"Wum."

In regards to being social and feeling energized, those people are most likely more extroverted than introverted. They gain energy from social situations. They start to feel tired when they are left alone.

You seem like a highly introverted person. These people get tired by social situations and gain energy when they’re alone.

I’m personally more introverted than extroverted, but I’ve learned that I just need to keep forcing myself into social situations. It definately gets better with practice, but I still feel like I have to get away and "recharge" occasionally because of my introverted nature. Don’t use your introversion as an excuse, learn to work past it and force yourself to be more social. You obviously are having problems with this so you need to fix those problems.

yea, pay attention to that 79 down rating
My best friend, I love the guy to death, but whenever I try telling him something or explaining something to him he responds with a really unsure "uh..huh" and stares blankly at me. I can’t tell if he understood what I said, or if that’s just his way of him confirming. Sometimes I’ll say a very short statement that doesn’t warrant a conclusion and he’ll respond with another "go on"-like gesture as if I wasn’t finished. He’s seriously the only person I know like this and its weird because he seems to get worse as we get older. He’s a smart guy too.
It seems people think you are an idiot of sorts, perhaps they think it’s one of those million conditions. You seem capable on a message board, except the fact that you do not have an avatar.

I think you are speaking from your head all the time. You do not speak from your heart. Are you passionate about anything? Or is life just a chore for you?

You need to speak from the heart. It gets people’s attention and is more "real".

First off, self observation, observing yourself from instant to instant, the relation between you and the object, while also observing the object. This is nothing passive, it is entirely active. That way you can learn about yourself.

Also, listen to classical music and stray from Afro-Caribbean music. Listen to it consciously, and also Native American flutes, Tibetan music, etc is also full of heart stimulating vibrations.

The lunar mind only reflects what is in the heart. The heart is like the sun and lights up the world.

I ususally cant stand anything you say, but this made me lol

Yeah I’m pretty introverted. When I go into social situations, especially with a group and I’m giving it my all and people in that group are doing much better than me, it’s really frustrating and discouraging. Once in a blue moon the opposite will happen and I’ll be the one commanding everyone’s attention, but overall I’m probably batting .100. And the even more frustrating part is when the stars seem like they are aligned and I am doing everything right and I’m feeling great, except it’s just not working and people aren’t responding positively.
I love all the pseudo-therapists on OT trying to diagnose this individual as if he’s sick or something.

Are you sure he isn’t doing Homer Simpson imitations?

I stray from the pack

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