It’s been difficult but are these available for purchase?

Is there any chance in the world that these can be obtained?
Its exactly because of its killing ability that you won’t find it in your local supermarket, suicide is pointless in that you just get reincarnated and will have to live the live you hate AGAIN for all those years up till the point that you commited suicide, and bridge over that gap again. You might hate life, but you shouldn’t want to go thru this life again. Throwing the towel therefore in the ring is the worst thing you can do.

When you are suicidal you are self centered, you don’t have a clue to how much hurt you would cause your family and loved ones. After your death your spirit is bounded to the negative consequenses of your death , the pain you will experience then is nothing compared to what you are experiencing now.

Life is supposed to be hard, that’s how you learn.
disregarding as to WHY you would want to get one (suicide issues or what not), no I doubt you would be able to find them commercially available.

no, but there are a million other things on the shelf at home depot that will do the trick.

why?

The rest of your advice seemed ok, but uh…

Why do you think just because you believe that other people also do?

lol, i laughed all throughout
but to each their own

I hope to come in contact with a cyanide pill one day. I will save that pill until I’m old and can no longer function or wipe my own ass. I will then hand feed myself that pill or pay to have someone ram it down my throat
please don’t commit suicide.

i would be so sad.

even though i don’t know you.

please please please somehow get over it

i would help if i could but this is all i know

And these other things have the ability to kill with within 7 seconds?

Is it any way available. Some way…some country where it’s legal?

Also please don’t kill someone else with it.

more than a few, yes.

why?

Like what?

I just want to know. And what other pills do the same thing?

why am I answering your questions when you’re not willing to answer mine?

OK.

What is your question? Why is a bit vague.
You need help, and trying to end your life is not the way of doing so

You have absolutely no clue about my life or why I want the pills.

Try not to make assumptions.

Try making a post with details as to why you want to obtain these pill.

Well I can assume something about yourself if your asking for pills that can "kill within 7 seconds" What else would you use them for? If not for yourself, then who?

or answering 7960′s question of why when he flat out asks you

He dosnt want to tell the truth, and thats why he’s avoiding it. I am starting to wonder if he’s really wanting to commit suicided or even potentially try to kill someone else. But hey, we wont know until he fesses up. Either way, he needs serious help if he is really wanting to get these types of chemicals and pills
OK. I’m thinking of it – suicide.. And I’m sick of this "getting help" stuff. I’m perfectly sane nor do I need someone to talk to.

I just need someone to give me straight answers to whether cyanide can be purchased or what other drugs have similar effects.

So trying to end one’s life is perfectly sane?

What about your life makes it so damn miserable, that you have to be selfish and end your existance?

Why kill yourself with an instant pill though? Sounds like you really have given up
Funny thing, I’ve been selfless all my life. And the story of what brought me here is too long.

Oh yes, it’s sane. When you think it over.

Plus, jumping off a bridge (if the impact doesn’t kill you) the drowning (despite not knowing how to swim) is the most horrible way to die.

So what’s perfect? Taking a cyanide pill then jumping.

I’ve posted 2 topics in the past about my problems.

They’ve only increased.

I remember you

This is seriously over a girl not loving you back?

Not really on the subject of unrequited love.

That’s common and happens to most people and is not a good enough reason to give up your life.

My just those problems over the girl have increased tenfold.

I have tried everything. And it wasn’t about her not loving me back.

The details are making my head explode. Do you know how to swim? If you do, you can always belly flop. Hitting the water from that hieght is almost equal to landing onto concrete.

Lets not forget to write the fairwell note to your loved ones either, that’ll make them smile.

And you are 16, correct?

Christ man, theres no point in killing yourself cause some chick wont love you back. Its fucking life. What DOES NOT KILL YOU makes you STRONGER

I can’t swim which will make the experience more unpleasent.

Tensing on the way down may cause internal bleeding since my body will provide resistance to the impact…I might survive but be disabled forever. If I relax on the way down..it’s like hitting concrete.

No farewell notes.

Didn’t I just make it clear it wasn’t that.

Life ends. Your memory ends. Everythings ends. Your body rots.

End of existence.

No point in life. Even if you enjoy life, when you die it’s all gone like you never done it.

Correct.

So your 16 years old, so it’s not some chick then but you think the easiest way to deal with it, is to kill yourself? What then? Do you think people will feel bad for you? I have NO remorse for anyone who ends their life

I had to personally kick a kids ass during a training because he couldnt handle the stress, and kept having nightmares. He attempted to hang himself using MY uniform belt. To which, I got severely pissed and had to teach him not to. His parents did show up at the end of it all, and he told me that me stopping him was the best thing because he was able to see his parents be happy for him

You seriously CANNOT READ ANY OF MY POSTS.

That’s twice now.
Let me see if I have this correct…
*You are 16
*You were obsessed with some girl by the age of 13/14
*She gave you the time of day finally
*Someone hacked into your email and wrote her lots of mean, rude things
*The hacker also wrote her friends rude things that made them hate you
*Friends gang around girl you are obsessed with to get her to never talk to you again
*You never get the balls to actually talk to this girl again, regardless if her friends are around or not
*You are depressed over a girl 2 years later and somehow think killing yourself will help?

Is this about right?

What you do in life, echoes an eternity

Really? Einstein did something.

So did my grandfather….can’t even remember his name never mind what he did in life.

Maybe you should have typed that more clearly the first time around

"My just those problems over the girl have increased tenfold." I cannot translate that otherwise

Lol it wasn’t a girl 13/14. And no…that is about 10% of why I want to do this.
TK, I wanted to kill myself when i was your age, too. Now I’m 28 and still think about it occasionally.

what you have to realize is that even though it might not seem like it, there are people that truly care about you that would be emotionally crushed if you kill yourself. parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, classmates, etc. While your pain will be over with in a flash, their pain will continue for years to come and will never truly go away.

my best friend rodney killed himself when he was 14, and I still think about it pretty often even though it happened 14 years ago.

just don’t do it

so explain the other 90% to us

My bad.

Just going off what the timeline you wrote in your threads

Yea, you may not remember them exactly, but it’s something like the old "butterfly effect." You interact with someone for 2 minutes, later on that day, you find out that person could have been killed in a car accident, if he was there just 2 minutes earlier. Not significant to you, but really important to the person who could have died that day. Therefore, your actions and interactions with the world effect others, regardless of how petty or insignificant they may appear. Look at what happened to the few people on 9/11 who were supposed to be in the towers, but were held up by others or had train delays.

If you remember, for every action, there is an opposite or equal reaction, hence, "what you do in life, echoes for an eternity"
im still curious what makes your life THAT bad.

shit happens, life sucks for a while, then it gets better. have you given it enough time to improve before you make this choice?
The truth of the matter is, you will never truly value your life until you have a near death experience.

Probably not sadly. 16 year olds are naive and impulsive.

Meh, I still am a little impulsive..

Lol, I’m not like other 16 year olds.

It’s naive believing in God.

And in the end they die and everyone else. Then the earth, sun. Then there is nothing. Nothing.

It’s also naive in believing in suicide.

I don’t necessarily believe in god or heaven or hell either, don’t see what that has to do with an impulsive, stubborn 16 year old boy who thinks killing himself will solve all his problems.

totally agree

in high school, 2 friends killed themselves within a month of each other. both because people in school were mean to them and made fun of them. i just kept thinking "if you waited 2 more years…you would be rid of those people forever anyway, and alive…"

i understand pain and ultimate sadness. we all have been there in some way. but we all have also fought through the pain and become stronger because of it.

TS, i just want to know why you think its fair to give up. what is so horrible? if its not beacuse of the girl, what is it?

So? Whats your point? Why end it now at 16 years old? You only get one shot at life, so why wast it? Wait, becuase things around you get "tough" and "too difficult" to handle? We’ve ALL been through our times of pain and suffering. Get over it, move on. Being so god damn negative about life is what’s making you feel this way. Eat some god damn cake, and stop crying about your woes

Suicide is a option. It’s not naive. It’s classified as naive by people.

When I’ve tried everything I can..

Oh really? What is everything? Did you have some cake yet?

Don’t lecture me about stubborn.

I have always took other peoples opnions aboard. Just like I did on here months ago. TWICE.

Everybodies advice. And no it did not work.

EVERY SECOND OF MY LIFE right now is suffocating. It is driving me mad. I feel depressed day and night. I went to the doctor for a simple prozac pill but he insisted "on coming back" for another chat before he gave one. URGH

Eating a chocolate muffin right now.

And what have you tried?

The fact that you skirt all the questions shows you probably haven’t tried jackshit to fix your position. You just want a pity party to follow you around.

Well are you enjoying that chocolate muffin?

Attention pitty whore, really

Every single thing I have thought of or someone else has thought of to solve my "problems". My friend is great at solving problems, and when he heard my problems he was basically like "Yeah, your screwed". And thats coming from a guy who always thinks positive.

Really? Whats the topic about?

And what have you dragged it to.
The last thing I want is your fucking pity.

All I want is a answer to my initial and only question.

Still doesn’t explain what you have done or tried and what the actual problem is

And I don’t know if your other 16 year old friend has the best advice…

I honestly couldnt give two shits wether or not you do. Im sitting here bored, and I hate people who treat life like it’s trash, so thats why Im here. Just remember that after you die, you’ll never eat another chocolate muffin again, but I will be.

For the LAST time…I’m not telling you my problems. I don’t want your pity nor for you to follow me around. This topic isn’t about my problems. It’s about a pill.

I know your trying to help but

My fucking life is trash.

You can sit there bored and I can sit here hating myself because of everything that’s happened to me and others I know.

After I die…soon after you’ll die.

That’s life.

The only person making your life miserable, is yourself. No, I’ll be alive as long as can be naturally that is. Im not going to kill myself, I have too many damn priorities and obligations. Your just a teenage punk who cant handle some stress.

Oh, and btw, despite MY past, I have never once considered suicide. Im not a pussy

Truth. It takes more courage to carry out a suicide than anything else.

Don’t call me a teenage punk. I’ve done more in life than most people, oh yes, including you.

Oh rearry? Care to tell me then? I can sit here and listen to them all. You know, Im only 19, and have spent a good 7 years of my life with the coast guard and Navy, two near death experiences included, so yea, I dont think you really understand me

Courage is being able to stay alive and actually push forward, instead of giving up. Giving up is to be weak, suicide shows how weak you really are

How is it courageous to kill yourself by taking a pill that kills you in seconds? Please explain.

where did you hear that lie? suicide is running from a problem instead of sticking around and figuring it out

taking a pill that kills you instantly is courageous? sounds pretty cowardly to me. sounds like an easy out for a bad couple months

Life started of with spending 2 years developing a website. Got the traffic up, got the site monetized, got the revenue up. Then one day…the whole server/hosting company collapses. I lose everything.

So I move on….1 year of developing a website. Build it and sell it for $137,420 on sitepoint auction. My PayPal gets limited….I lose $137,420.
Hurray.

SkyDiving went wrong….nearly drowned and spent 4 months in a coma. More like SkyDying to me.

I would say all that put together is around 50% and the girl is 10%.

So thats 60% of why I’m doing this.

And, thats it? I nearly got crushed between a freighter ship and a 41 footer 2 miles offshore because some people werent paying attention

so you want to kill yourself because you lost some money and almost died?

Nearly? I pretty much did die.

Or atleast I part of me died when I went into that coma.

which part?

Yea, but you got a second chance. Dont blow it

Nope. There’s more. But I don’t want to talk about it.

I just want an answer to my question
While it’s amazing that you were able to earn that much money and build a website at your age losing it all isn’t really a life-ending situation. You obviously have intelligence. Why not start again? If you stuck to it you could have your own multi-million dollar company when you are 25

And the skydiving and coma incident is obviously not fun, but I can’t imagine anyone else going through the same thing hating life so much. As long as you are healthy now you should be pretty excited to have come out of the coma.

4 pages and no one has answered your question cause you wont answer ours
That’s the problem.

When I came out I lost everything.

Whenever something happens…I feel nothing.

If its my birthday..I feel NOTHING. No emotion whatsoever. That’s not a exagerration. Ever since I came out…I have no feelings. For ANYTHING.

Something amazing happens…I feel nothing.

I’ve lost how to feel happy, glad, proud. All gone. It’s like it went overnight. I don’t understand it. I can’t understand it.

What do you do every day? I understand you feel nothing, but are you trying that would normally evoke an emotion? If so, what things are you trying?

Fuck, at 16 I loved everything. Barely any responsibilities, looking forward to the weekend so I could just hang out with friends, etc.

thats why you go to a psychologist. they help with this sort of thing. very possibly you are mentally distressed still from the horirble accident that was skydiving. they can help you work through it

after my mom died, i felt nothing for a very long time. i went to talk with someone to help me work through it. it takes time, but it works

your problem is you WANT to feel this way. no one can help you if you dont want the help. do you want to feel better? or do you want to just be miserable?

What’s that mean?

so money is a reason to kill yourself

You cannot fucking read. GTFO

you realize at 16 you don’t know shit, right? and your friend, also around 16, also doesn’t know shit.

and if you’re getting advice from a web forum (TWICE!) then you’re not trying shit. talk to your parents, talk to a counselor, talk to a teacher, talk to a friend’s parent……….but talking to another 16 year old and taking advice from here (TWICE!) isn’t trying.

he’s saying you’re an attention, pity whore because google would tell you anything you wanted to know but instead you’re here with the drama, not answering questions, claiming you "tried everything" and "talked to people" when really you haven’t done shit and talked to a 16 year old.

no it’s not, but you’re 16 and too young/stupid to know it.

that’s why we’ve told you more than once (even more than TWICE!) to talk to someone.

because you’re 16 and stupid**.

what you’re feeling (or not feeling) could be from depression, the accident/trauma, from guilt………there are many things that could cause it. rather than "take a pill" how about you figure out what’s wrong and see if you can fix it?

**and please don’t take that the wrong way, EVERY 16 year old is stupid. you’re not special, you’re not different. you’re too young and inexperienced to realize there are other options besides "a pill" and "a jump"
FYI I’ve talked to my parents, a psychiatrist, a teacher, 2 adults and my doctor.

So don’t call me fucking stupid.

I’m not saying you’re stupid becuase you’re you, I’m saying it because you’re 16 and haven’t lived yet. You lack experiences that help define you. You don’t have anything to compare your CURRENT situation to. just the fact that you say "life started" when you developed a website……….young, naive, inexperienced, lacking maturity…….how about this. Promise to make it to 25 and if things don’t get better THEN off yourself. My guess, in 9 years you’ll look back and think "I was stupid."

And if you really talked to parents, a psychiatrist, a teacher, 2 adults and my doctor and nothing helped, find a new psychiatrist, teacher, adults and doctor to talk to.

I need to sort my life. 9 years won’t go past with it automatically being better. The reason I’m doing this is because of my problems. Unless I sort this I won’t feel like i’m suffocating every minute.

Nevermind, since I’m not going to get my answer from your guys, I may as well leave this thread.

Thanks for all your help especially the frequent posters.

so did you listen to what they have to say?
I’m still waiting for a good response as to how taking a suicide pill is a "courageous" thing.

you’re right, it won’t automatically be better.

but in those 9 years (which, when you’re 25 will represent fully ONE THIRD of your life) you’ll mature, gain experiences, etc, and hopefully TALK TO SOMEONE to figure out what’s going on.

no, if you do it, it will be because you were a coward.

if you really wanted an answer you woudlnt’ have asked here so again with the attention/pity whoring.

how about you go tell your parents you went on the internet and researched pills to kill yourself. do that then get back to us with what they did.

Listen…thats the hard part, especially if you’re 16 and have an above average IQ, but try it. When your that young you do not know shit about shit, period, hell I’m 23 and I don’t really know shit about shit… take some time, sort things out.Think of the problem ie: you feel nothing, and your proposed solution: suicide, you have openly stated that you believe there is nothing after death, so your going to solve feeling nothing, with forcing yourself to feel nothing forever; really doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

I’ve told them and they told me not to be stupid.
I wanted a answer to what pills are the same as cyanide. I never got a simple fucking answer. You guys wanted to know why?

Not me. So stop trolling.

I know I said I would leave but I couldnt resist answering.

Seriously goodbye

I’m not trolling you. Telling someone you want to kill yourself is a cry for help. I’m listening to your cry for help and telling you to FIND SOMEONE CLOSE WHO WILL LISTEN.

Your parents told you not to be stupid, they’re not the ones. Find someone else.

You want a simple fucking answer? Car – seatbelt + 120mph + something BIG = done. Your whole "7 second cyanide pill and jump off a bridge" thing is stupid. If you wanted to be dead you’d be dead. But since you’re here asking questions how about you take some advice and figure out how to solve your problem.

Right…10% of all my problems is that girl. She’s the girl I want to talk to yet at the moment because of a misunderstanding she hates me.

I don’t want my death to affect her or for her to be "sorry" for my death.

But she’s the only person I can imagine listening to.

then expand your mind and imagine someone else. my high school had counsolers you could go speak to if you needed someone to listen, i’m willing to bet yours does as well. try them. try talking to a professional. try PMing anyone who answered in this thread. and then open your ears and listen

there are a million ways to commite suicide. you know that. you dont need to ask us how to do it. you are really asking us for help to stay alive and get through this. now open your ears and listen.

there are millions of ways that are PAINFUL, LONG.

Cyanide I read up is fast. 7 seconds. Thats why if i cant get that someone mentioned other drugs which are just as efficent but readily available.

I hate professional advice….only for a good plan that will either help me or get me some cyanide.

i can think of quite a few that are just as fast. my opinion that you want help to get out of this slump stands

and what do you hate about professional advice?

answer please.

no, 100% of your problems is YOU.

that means you need to get rid of the girl until you fix YOU.

what does this have to do with my post? do you think taking a cyanide pill and jumping will affect her any less than driving a car into a bridge abutment?

because you’re young and lack experience and see everything as focused on you or her or a website or something else without perspective.

you need to get rid of her, fix you, then maybe go back to her. or you may find that she’s part of the problem and figure out you need to STAY away from her. either way, fix YOU first. until you do that you’re wasting your time being near anyone else.

car – seatbelt + 120mph + bridge support = dead, fast and painless.

now stfu about cyanide and go talk to a doctor. there may be a physical problem after your coma that’s causing you to not feel. the only way to tell is to tell a doctor the entire truth and let them help.

oo good point, i didnt think about that. i thought it might have something to do with him mentally being stressed about it, but there very well could be a physical problem attached to that as well

my guess……. it takes too long and it’s not easy. he can’t walk out with a fix so he’s not interested. if a psychologist could fix him in 7 seconds then he’d consider it but because it’s going to take months (possibly years) he’d rather go on a web forum and tell people he wants to die.

he smacked his head hard enough to put him in a coma for months. it’s likely that there’s *some* brain damage….it’s not inconceivable that there are side effects from it.

He obviously had a severe problem with patience, hence why the cyanide pill is fast and he refuses to even try another death that might take more than seconds.

People who want to commit suicide but refuse to do things that take long or will "hurt a lot" don’t really want to kill themselves. You said you feel nothing, so why would a painful death be any different?
I can’t get rid of her out of my head.

Am I obessesed or in love?

I kind of lied. I feel sort of happy when I see her. Or just when she gives me a random smile…for the rest of the day I’m happy.

i assume its obsession because of how liking her makes you feel. are you only happy when you see her and no other time?

You don’t even talk to her. Why don’t you try that first.

Remember my previous threads?

Yip, Lack of Confidence + she hates me.

the answer is: you are 16. everyone has strong, confusing feelings at that age. in fact, a lot of 16 year olds go through the "life sucks, i want to die" feelings. it isn’t a sign of anything wrong or abnormal, it’s just hormones. seriously just try to focus on yourself, school, sports, WHATEVER. in a couple years you will balance out and wonder why you ever felt this upset.

Well then continue to be miserable. No one feels sorry for you if you can’t go after something you want. You’ll never learn or grow as a person.

And to answer your question about if it is love I will quote myself from your last thread about her

I’ve known her for 5 years. And it’s unrequited love as of 3 years.

I have tried every possible thing to make her like me, or to even look at me. 3 years.

Except that you wont even go up and talk to her, you forgot you haven’t even done that.
If you didn’t have emotion you wouldn’t get irritated and aggravated with everyone here trying to help.

I think burrowing your issues in your head, only to ‘dig’ them out by committing suicide is rather pathetic.

From your posts, it’s obvious you’re not an idiot and have obtained some form of education. Their is one thing to live for. You lost a little bit of change compared to what you’ll make in your life, at the age of 16.. That shows me you do have some will power and the desire to achieve.

What I don’t get, and really don’t understand, is why you’re so opposed to actually trying to better yourself.

Between 7960, IWYWB, and the multiple others who have given you sound advice, you’ve chose to bash them.

And I said it once, and I’ll say it again. For someone with absolutely no emotion, you’re doing a pretty good job at showing it.

it sounds like obsession, love is really only developed when it is reciprocated. If it isn’t, move on. There are literally billions of other girls out there… and almost everyone falls in love more than once in there life.

Ok, now we’re getting somewhere.

When you talk to your parents and doctor and psychologist do you lie to them, too? You’ve been lying to us this whole time so there’s no reason to believe you’re telling them everything. And if you’re not then they can’t help.

I’ve not been lying..I’ve just been reluctant to share that information with you , guys. And it’s only when I remember the girl that I remembered I did feel happy.

As for no emotions..I SAID I DON@T FEEL GLAD, PROUD, HAPPY.

I still feel depressed and sad.

I can’t even read this thread anymore.

that’s called DEPRESSION, or possibly post traumatic stress.

and it’s extremely treatable, as long as you’re honest with yourself and don’t lie to your doctors.

I want to kill mysel…..I mean….
but a question……….what’s the big deal with this cyanide pill? since you know you can’t get it why haven’t you taken some other advice on quick/painless ways to off yourself?

Exactly, he doesn’t want to have to do anything, which proves he doesn’t really want to off himself.

Some jerk in this thread gave me false hope that there are similar pills that CAN BE BOUGHT….THATS WHAT IVE BEEN HERE FOR.

WOW

You said that you felt "nothing" sad/depressed/frustrated is something, you should first strive to rid yourself of those feelings then seek positive ones.

he knows he can’t get this pill so it’s easy to use non-availability as his reason to avoid it.

"……..IF I ONLY HAD A SIDEWINDER SURFACE TO AIR MISSILE AND A HOT AIR BALLOON I’D KILL MYSELF! Oh, those aren’t available? I guess I won’t do it then."

HELLO…THIS IS THE ANSWER IVE BEEN WAITING 8 PAGES FOR.

Seems like you are getting pretty angry…that’s an emotion.
Angry at 7990 whatever.

I came for cyanide…they said i couldnt get it.

HE SAID there were other pills….IVE BEEN ASKING FOR AGES.

Thats all i wanted the fucking answer to.

As for the suicide i dont care if you believe me…you will probably hear it on the news (i doubt) maybe somewhere.

no, I said there are hundreds of things in home depot that could poison and kill you.

If you’re really trying to off yourself 12 guage buck shot aim into your mouth straight back maybe a little up… that’ll turn your brainstem into confetti you won’t feel a thing thats the part that controls the nerves in the body. Read an anatomy book you’re smart, remember, smarter than all of us.

YES….such as?

All I want is names…then I can go and do it.

Probably not. Suicides by 16 year olds for no reason don’t tend to get news coverage. Would you like it if it got you on the news?

Draino…

like someone else mentioned, if you really wanted to know, you could google it

what is your fixation on using poison to kill yourself?

It wouldnt matter i would be dead.

something fast he said there were a few things that could do 7 seconds as well

so what does it matter if it hurts, you’ll be dead.

car + speed + bridge……………but you’re still here.

Ok ill do that.

Thanks for your help

what makes you wnat to use that method now? you said no to it multiple times in this threat already
and now back to serious.

there are plenty of people right in this thread who were 16 and spurned by a chick who doesn’t know we even exist. we know generally how it feels…killing yourself isn’t the answer to the question "how do I not feel this way any more?"

talk to someone.

Listen man. If you want to kill yourself, you would’ve done it already.

Go drink a cup of bleach.

I lost my virginity when I was 13 to a 16 year old, and when I saw her in school and she walked by me, I was devestated.

I didn’t want some super-cyanide pill, though.

I’m doing it. Tonight.

I’m taking 7960′s advice or method on how.

So thanks for all your help and for the last time goodbye.

Thanks for your time.

I won’t back on on this thread to see replies so no point posting any.

Lock this thread.
It’s not ‘coward’ to ask for help.

Right before you get in that car and start the ignition, just do me a favor..

Think about the everyday routines your parents do that include you in some way shape or form.

Then realize that will be replaced by their tears and complete misunderstanding as to why.

you’re making a mistake.

why aren’t you taking my advice on how NOT to?
by posting this I think its a cry for help or attention. It might hae been mentioned already since this is pages long, but its my .02

Did you talk him into it???

first rule of counseling, the counselor never talks someone into or out of something.

……..but we’ll know tomorrow

Well you didn’t exactly sway him in the right direction. However, anyone hell bent on offing themselves can do it quickly with bleach or ajax, etc.

EDIT: we won’t know tomorrow, he wont’ come abck here which will lead to believe he did it, or assume he wants us to believe he did it.

EDIT V2: however:

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 8 (8 members and 0 guests) , , , , , , ,

word

without going back I’m going to guess I advised him against it ten times and told him "car + speed" three. I’d say that’s advising against it.

yes we’ll know becuase yes he will be back tomorrow.

:edit: I went back, it was 14 times I told him to get help and 4 (3 really) I told him car + tree.

A cup that is 95% coffee and 5% arsenic is mostly coffee, but it will still kill you

if you wanna kill yourself, that’s all fine and dandy…but seriously, you have yet to begin life.

try living it before ending it so short
if not, see you on the flip side
Cyanide is a short but incredibly unpleasant death

Heard it firsthand

Heard it from a dead guy?

to continue the analogy……………. and if he WANTS to drink from it or DOESN’T then that’s what he’ll do no matter what anyone says.

but as I mentioned before, just by posting this thread its a cry for help. He clearly doesn’t want to do it.

thats the funniest thing you’ve ever said.

I literally laughed so hard out loud when I read his comment that my bf went " WHAT?"

how is it a cry for help when he is asking how to retrieve it?

thats why its a cry for help. If you want something bad enough and don’t want anyone to interfer with your plan, you do it yourself secretly.

secretly?! he’s someone from the internet whom none of us know. I think that’s pretty much secret

O’rly? please…

agree to disagree

how is it not a cry for help when there are about 8,354 other ways to do it but he still chose to come here and ask for a way to get something that’s nearly impossible to get?

cause maybe he doesn’t want to die the other 8,354 ways

so what, even if it is a cry for help it’s a lame fucking way to get it via this site that’s for sure. you can’t save someone who wants to die

but he doesn’t. that is evidenced by this thread.
If you really wanted to find something online as soon as possible, you do the searching yourself, you don’t post the question on a message.

I’m sure he is convinced he would go through with it, but in reality, I bet little things would get in the way that would keep him from doing it.

Like chocolate muffins

he’s posting on a ‘self/group help’ forum asking how to find a chemical traditionally reserved for suicide. IDK about you, but if I was *really* looking for that chemical, i’d be on some chemistry/pharmaceutical website

C’mon man I know you can give your good advice without pushing your religious views….
Cyanide isn’t the only option, other drugs obtain the same result. Valium works in large doses (about 50 average dose pills), more potent when consumed with large amounts of alcohol.

I tried to kill myself several years back and this is the route that I chose to take. After having spoken to many doctors about the potency of this action it’s pretty fail proof if done correctly. The problem was I was found within an hour of ingestion and had my stomach pumped before I could die.

If you get very drunk first and then crush up the pills and consume them that way (mix them with a glass of water first maybe?) You should pass out within a minute and die soon after, even without crushing them up I was only awake for a couple of minutes or so.

That being said, suicide was the right choice for me then because there really was no other feasible choice for me, but I’m glad that I am still alive and life DOES GET BETTER! Even if it is eventually. You will not feel like you do now forever. But if you choose to eradicate yourself that is your choice and your choice alone, no one else can make you keep on living.

perfect
you say this

but then go on to say

if life DOES GET BETTER then suicide was NOT "the right choice for you then."

there’s the rub, suicide doesn’t allow for the thoughts of things getting better. But I know, when you’re depressed, it’s really hard to think of things ever getting better.

depression makes you think that you don’t want things to get better.
Since this kid is probably randomly looking at this thread and waiting for someone to ask, ill do it.

Do you think he did it?

No

AE check

I hope he didn’t. Hopefully he realizes soon that he’s young, he’ll meet so many more girls, and life has more things for him in the future.
somebody very special to me suffered an abusive father for 18 years, before the father killed himself one day because his wife was going to divorce him. when the family found his body, they were relieved that he died without killing anyone else.
the church of this family blamed the mother for his suicide, saying that he killed himself because of the mother’s idea to get a divorce, and divorce is a sin.
at the funeral of the abusive father, the family suffered through a priest who stood there blaming the mother. before, after, and during the funeral the mother was harassed by co-workers of her husband, who the husband had been telling lies to for years.
while all of this was happening, the someone special to me watched. she also had an abusive boyfriend, who mirrored her father’s behavior. she broke up with this boyfriend after 2 years of torture, resulting in being shunned by more than half of the people she’d used to call her friends. her school situation is beyond hard. her family situation is beyond hard.
she had a lot of problems, her self esteem and self image were shot to hell. she’s been to 3 therapists. she’s been on a few kind of meds. she’s weening off of them. she’s coping, she’s living. and anyone worth a damn is proud of her for it.

you can deal, too. try harder. who knows, you’re apparently good at making money. maybe when you’re better you can write a book about your struggle and make millions.

OT: quick fix

the same way those in the main forum ask about medical related questions

Are you an idiot? If you read through all the pages here it is clearly evident that the kid does not want to really off himself. Google knows a hellalot more than OT and the shits quicker.

no..I’m not an idiot actually.
but if he doesn’t want to kill himself, then you all played into his antics very well

an academy award winning performance.

what i’m trying to say is…if he wanted to die, he would have done it already. and you all just sit and say how worthy life is. how can another person determine how worthy someone else’s life is when you haven’t stepped in their shoes. some people are just better off dead

what are the pics of?
I knew a guy who killed himself at the age of 16. Carl! His parents had died when he was younger and I believe he lived on his own or with a sibling… Anyway, he jumped off the roof of his apartment building (6 stories I think) and that did him in.

Honestly, there are very few things that sadden me more than knowing this dude killed himself. He was just a kid and everybody liked him. At 16 you really haven’t experienced a small fraction of what life has to offer, I can say that at 21 because not only have I done and seen things that have really given me new, positive perspectives on life, but I myself have actually evolved as a person and I’ve learned to cope with problems and habits… Life is what you make it, and if you kill yourself you won’t have the option of molding yourself and your situation into what you want it to be. Granted this is a lot harder for some people to do than others, you still have a lot of freedom in how you can live your life.

I’ve thought about why someone might kill themself, and personally I think if I became that depressed I’d just become an alcoholic and live on the street… At least i could enjoy the occasional hot meal and human interaction…. to me that’s what makes life great. You’ll learn that some day as long as you don’t kill yourself before you’re mature enough to realize it.

So true. We all have our difficulties in life. Boo-fucking-hoo.

What about all the people in the 3rd world countries who watch their children starve to death? They dont take the cowards way out, they do whatever they can to survive. If some kid thinks life is meaningless because some girl doesnt like him then good riddance.

If somebody comes and asks for help then you can give it to them. If they want to dance around it and say how horrible their life is without taking any of the advice then let them be the little drama queens they are and end it.

Life moves on. If you want to be there when it happens, dont take the easy way out.

You know there’s actually something strange going on with what you say here, its like if your life is just pure survival you’d do anything in your power to stay alive, but for those people who seemingly have everything going for them lose the aspect of having a ‘goal’ in life, and once more gaps fall into their life, suicidal thoughts are quickly to follow.

You know, many times these people don’t mind life itself, its just that the bad circumstances won’t go away for a prolonged time, and this gives them incredible difficulties in finding ways to cope. What they need is a way out of their misery, and although they might not even be listening its important not to give up and teach these people the fundamental understanding why suicide is not the way out, and although its not an al cure , you do what you can do in order to provide these people a lending hand. If you were in trouble, or maby if your mother dies because of suicide and someone says good riddance, then even if its true in the case of stubborness, its not nice to say something like that. When there are troubles you need to try to move the situation upwards. I know there’s a lot of buts in it, but we also need to stay positive in these kind of terrible situations. Yes there’s 3 world kids dying, but rich people have their problems as wel, regardless of that we need to try to help anyone with any problem. If he really feels miserable then he has a valid problem. But i think this time around the kid in here really came in with the sole intention of suicide. Id like to thank everyone who gave an honest attempt into helping this kid. So far i’ve received no notion of a confirmed suicide by researching, but anyone who gets to know some info of the situation, please share.

What I’m getting at is the fact that so many of the people who commit suicide have no reason to be thinking those thoughts anyway. So many people kills themselves for absolutely stupid reasons when there are people out in the world who have it MUCH worse and do not even think about making that choice.

To me, this kid sounds like he suffered some sort of humiliation at school and while kids can be cruel, life goes on. By no means worth the drama he is creating. He just wants attention, I do not believe for one second that he actually committed suicide.
Its true what you are saying, however not everyone is equally strong , and situational lonelyness can be more devastating then poverty or starvation, usually in poverty people do more to support eachother, you might not have food , but you have eachother. Still bad, but what im saying is that there are ‘different’ triggerpoints for comitting suicide.

Its a matter of where your weaknesses lie, you could be incredibly strong in dealing with a financial crisis, but when dealing with school problems you might could just not get over that fence no matter how hard you try,with a suicide as a result.

Even if the kid didn’t commit suicide, we always need to take the situation seriously , because in some cases you can never say for sure on wether a person is just joking or the real deal, we have to take measures just to be on the sure side.

Its true what you say about the attention too, id say 90% or higher of suicidal people wants attention, many many people live in the thought that people will come to their aid and spontaniously drop into their lives in order to make them happy. While in reality people only seem to drop by if there’s a selfish interest to gain, which is something these people don’t understand that in order to get attention they need to give something back, which in its turn gives a lot of emotional trouble with these kids. Although one indeed should not let themselves be abused, one by no means should consider it a sin to indeed give attention to a person who is suicidal, afteral these kind of people get rejected all their lives, its certainly not going to help them to be rejected even more.

That said i hope the main poster will come back to post
Well…

Anyway to check if this kid has been online?

Everyone in this thread really did a bangup job. Typically you don’t call people out repeatedly on a bluff.

If this kid killed himself, then I’d say everyone in this thread should never post again giving someone advice. Jesus Christ.

You would be very hard pressed to convince me that a person or persons in this thread caused the guy to kill himself.

But what the heck, try your best.

Are you guys going to debate now? I’ve been let down on the debates lately…go at it.
he has been online.. I added his messenger to mine, and he was on earlier today, and had a nice status about the dark night (i do believe)

well, it’s good to hear that he can still enjoy eating chocolate muffins

Good to hear, but I could see it all along. He was just baiting people for sympathetic replies.

Choc. muffins warmed in the microwave are

And yes, I do believe he was trying to get attention. If someone really wanted to commit suicide, they would just do it, not sit around and talk about it. Talking about it or showing signs of it on purpose usually always means they want attention/help and cant understand how to get it.

Yeah, instead we should coddle the kid who, about 3 or 4 pages in, was obviously baiting for attention.
I’ve been through a very serious relationship and know it’s hard breaking up. I also know it’s not easy to claim you’re depressed "over a girl", but ending youself won’t fix anything.

Good luck

It says here…last online…5 days ago.

Weird?!

Wow….I just joined this forum yesterday and I’ve enjoyed the reading so far.

I will say that this has been one of the most interesting threads that I’ve ever read. Several members, and they know who they are, really did an awesome job of trying to help this kid and give him good advice. I mean, what else can you say? It’s the internet.

I don’t know if the kid is really 16 because he seems to be very intelligent. He also has a way of coming across as being serious (something about the wording)…not that he would really kill himself, but serious about his issues. He is clearly begging for help, but we’ve all been 16 and remember how we didn’t need anyone’s help….we also knew everything.

Titan,

Dude…you’re 16, you seem to have been through some really rough times. Why not use that as a reason to LIVE! If you can use your arms and legs, and live a decently normal life, you should use your near-death experience as a 2nd chance. Live it up!! Whomever or whatever you believe in gave you a 2nd chance for a reason….do something positive with it. Be a positive influence for some other teenager. Talk to teens who have/are thinking about suicide. There is a very good reason as to why you are still alive.

Suck it up, man. Don’t wuss out of life because things are hard for you. Don’t wuss out of life over some girl. You’re 16…you have no clue about love, and I can guarantee you that there is someone out there that will make you forget about her.

As far as the money thing….screw it. You did what you did as a teen. Imagine what you can do in another 10 years.

Don’t be stupid.
what a weird way to try and do it. Obtaining unobtainable poison pills that you only hear about in movies/books.

.
He realized his true desire for living-chocolate muffins
So can we assume he is not returning. It sucks that he chose such a definite stance on this. I can honestly say that at one time in my life I to was severely depressed and on more than once occasion attempted, but that’s all it was and it was a big cry for help. I found my help through therapy and medication. I eventually got off of it and here I am 10 years later a mentally healthy man.

Its hard to really know whats going on in your head at the young of an age, I know it can look and feel like the whole world is going to end if things are not on the up and up right now, but that’s part of life. One of my biggest life lessons I learned was that the world doesn’t revolve around me. If I killed myself I wasn’t going to get that attention, my parents would be utterly devastated and it would be over and there wouldn’t be anything to show for my life.

Its a waste to take it away, something that is such a gift being able to live. And to think you woke up from a coma that is such a humongous feat! Your alive and you should treasure the fact that you are alive. Now this chickadee, I understand that you are hung up on her and its completely understandable. But I will have to agree with everyone else that there are plenty of other fish in the sea my friend.

When I was in the same position when I was down in that dark place, with no feeling, I too was hung up on a girl, didn’t think she even cared about me anymore. My friends at the time did a lot of bad things to me and to her to keep us away from each other and honestly it wasn’t until I got up the courage to actually talk to her to realize she didn’t care either way. That she was my friend regardless and honestly after I left her behind, I had other girl friends when I left high school and moved on to college.

So What I’m trying to say is that don’t this one girl bring you down, nor don’t let your so called friends bring you down either, just get some help from your family. Family is truly important.

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Been a while since I had any game and me and this girl hit it off when we were out about 4-5 weeks ago, known her for months but never really tried. Well that night it worked well, ended up ending an 8 month dry spell or so and fucked like monkeys…Same went over the next 2 weeks or so, we hung out alot, went out, talked about a lot of stuff, went out with each others friends, etc…So…week 3-ish we end up having sex and the condom breaks, Plan B ensues, period this past weekend and she starts a new job that’s going iffy so in general she was just blah, down…

Anyways, fast forward to last Wednesday, we go out with a few friends, she ends up leaving me at about 3am in the morning with a key to her place so she can go to some afterhours place with some guy ‘friend’. I was pissed b/c of the way she did it, but didn’t lash out or anything…Next day we talk about it, grab eats and go our separate ways for guys/girls night out. We talk the next day before she goes to work and when she heads out for the night Fri with plans to meet up at some point. Last I hear from her…I left her a few vm’s, texts, phone calls and I get no response back at all, like nothing….but her myspace logged on yesterday and I messaged her there with no response.

Literally nothing, no feedback, zilch…I’m pretty sure she messed around with dude from Wednesday and won’t return my calls b/c she knows she fucked up a good thing But it fucked me up a bit b/c I’ve never had it happen and for once in a long time things were actually looking up and I was enjoying things

What do I do? No use forcing the matter, but she won’t even respond back to my texts simply asking if she is alive (her phone isn’t dead I know that) and I text her saying I was genuinely worried about her well being. Help me
I think you are approaching it as well as you can. You texted, called, left a voicemail or two, and messaged her on MySpace. She KNOWS you are there and that you would like to continue to see her. It is now basically just up to her whether she replies ever or not…I think you have done all that you can do really. Sorry for not being able to help but I think that is the truth.
Heard back from her….

Response back, definately

Time to go find my game!

EDIT:

i would’ve approached it a bit different, but the situation is what it is, so there’s nothing you can really do other than accept it, move on, and stick to your word.

There’s a bit of a back story there, just wasn’t relevant at the time that adds some info

either way it is what it is now

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last august i moved to be with a gf. things didnt work out. i moved back. instead of moving back home i called up my friend who i knew was living by himself. i have known this guy for about a year and a bit up to this point.

move in to a kinda shithole apartment. the things i owned furnished the apartment. desks, tables, tv, etc. no couch. well my stupid ass decided to go out and buy a couch. dropped $1800 on that. 8 months no interest no payment.

we made a verbal agreement that he would pay me back for it. i lived at the apt. for 4 months. couldnt handle it, said fuckit, and moved back home. left the couch with him. assuming that he was actually the nice guy that i knew i believed he would pay me back.

8 months pass and no money ever ended up in my hand. 9 months i finally got a payment from him. that was in june. it is now october and i am paying for it myself.

he got fired from work (we worked together) the second week of august. his drugged out brain then for some reason got the impression that my boss and i teamed up to get him fired. he didnt talk to me for 2 months. now he is talking to me again and everything is back to normal. except for the money issue.

the guy is a compulsive liar. i met up with him early last week. he tells me he got a job up north to work. 2 weeks in 2 weeks out. sounded pretty serious about it . goin up thursday to start working. he calls me monday and asks me what im going to be doing later. well ill be in an out of your part of the city. we should meet up and smoke one or something. way to lie through your teeth again about something. your dumbass is supposed to be up north working right now you fucking post.

he calls me this morning to have a bullshit. well the guy he was living with up until the end of august threw out all of his stuff on him. he didnt want to come by and get it, and his roommate didnt want it left around his place. after sitting on all of it for a month he threw it out. now my druggie friend wants his shit, so i gotta play middleman for this one as they cant get a hold of each other and figure that out.

he then goes on to tell me that he isnt working as far north as he thought he was gonna be. hes just 2-3 hours north, still can come back to the city for a couple days here and there. i call fucking bullshit. why the fuck would any company up north hire a hd mechanic that doesnt even have his fucking first year under his belt.

im getting beyond pissed off about this now. ive given him the benefit of the doubt too many times. ive sat on it for too long without having anything happen. i want my fucking money. ive got my shit together. i have a good job, i pay all my bills, etc. i just happen to be friends with an alcoholic cokehead who cant get his shit together.

now either i give him the benefit of the doubt one more time and actually hope he is working and making some good coin in the hopes that he gives me my money within the next month. i know he isnt though.

i have two options on how to get back what is mine, one way or another. i know where he is living now (address). i know where my couch is. on the other hand, i know where he is working now and where his toolbox is. he owes a substantial amount of money to my snap-on dealer and snap-on credit. i can work with my tool dealer (they can be shady when it comes to people owing them money). he doesnt know where to go to repo his tools that havnt been payed for in 3-4 months. i do.

my question is, based upon what i said above, what direction should i go with this to get back what is mine? i dont need a couch. i just want my fucking money.
To use an old proverb, when you lend money to your friend you tend to lose both items.

I say cut your losses and move on. It ain’t worth the stress.

Also, by being a ‘friend’ to the guy, you are also enabling him. He needs to be smacked over the head by cold hard reality, instead of being given a sympathetic ear.

Who knows, he might learn from his mistakes and maybe in a few years time he’ll have cleaned up his act and maybe become responsible enough to pay you back.
Your best bet is to just get the couch and resell it. Your never going to see a dime from him, this is all verbal agreements.

Go get the couch and resell it to get back some of what is yours. The rest your probably going to have to take as a loss.
The couch is giving your ‘friend’ a lot of trouble, he’s in a weak financial situation unable to ‘ever’ pay you back. Meanwhile your stressing out because as the other old saying goes ‘ you can’t pluck feathers from an empty chicken’ , and beating a dead horse is useless, any money he does have goes on weed,alcohol or other drugs. Of course you could demand it or money back.

But you don’t want the couch, and your not going to get any money, unless you resell it. Its an extreme amount of stress on your side, and because your not getting your money any time near soon, i myself personally would just not want to go thru all that stress and hassle and just give the couch away. It might be one month in loss of what you have to work for it in your paycheck, but the amount of misery the thing is giving you if you continue to be angry over it for such a prolonged time is probably going to make you die 3years earlier, in other words its not worth it.
The whole teaming with your boss thing is bullshit, he just knows that he doesn’t have to pay you now.

Honestly the only way to deal with a coke head is with a mask and a gun, seriously.
at least since you have a loan in your name you should be able to take the couch, bring a policeman to the door with you if you must

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I’ll be 22 next month, and she just turned 18 in September.

She’s an awesome girl, don’t get me wrong. But I’m a little frustrated.
I work 40+ hours a week, attend college full time & studying for certifications on the side. As well as trying to spend as much time with my 8 month old nephew. (I’m his only aunt, my brother-in-law is an only child.)
Now my girlfriend works ~20ish hours a week, getting her G.E.D., & that’s it.

She complains I don’t talk to her enough. Although she spends 4-6 nights out of the week with me, as well as talk through IM/Text constantly throughout the day.

When I tell her I have things to do, or I want some time alone, (Since the only "day off" I have is Sunday, I have class at 9am on Saturday’s) she gets all huffy with me.

It just doesn’t seem like anything I do is good enough. I’m busting my ass in school/work/etc. and she gets to sit at home most of the day. Also, she doesn’t drive and live about ~25 minutes from me. So I do all the driving, and pay for the majority of things because she only works a few hours at a Dunkin Donuts. She then has the audacity to complain that she is tired & wonders why I’m "so tired all the time."

Example, I told her I’d try to talk to her tonight (in depth conversation about our relationship) & this is the response I get.

What do I do?

there is an ENORMOUS maturity difference between age 18 and age 22. it’s really not her fault, she just can’t understand the type of responsibilities that people have and the fact that spending time apart DOESN’T mean that you don’t like her anymore or anything. try explaining that to her if you can… but good luck lol
yay for lesbians, but yeah, 18 year old girls are shitsville, you cant really expect much more.

Tried to explain but she doesn’t get it.

& yes 22 and 18 is a huge gap, considering we’re both women.

I’m not sure what to do anymore.
She won’t understand what its like until she’s juggling adult responsibilities like you are. It sucks, but maybe the two of you aren’t in the best places for a compatible relationship right now. It’s not like you can magically minimize the load you’re under to satisfy her.

Age is playing a huge part in this, you seem much more motivated in life then she is, also you seem just very busy, maybe find somebody that is less needy?

Sure you do, you know that you need to end it. You obviously aren’t happy with her so why do you continue to stay with her? You didn’t have a single reason in your post about why you would want to keep this going, the only good thing you even said about her is that she’s an awesome girl. You’ll meet plenty of other awesome girls in your life and you’ll find one who is a lot more mature and who would make a good girlfriend.

I’m a million times more motivated & extremely busy. I can never find girls who are like me.

Anywho, I fell asleep around 6pm. She called me 10, yes 10 times. She knew I was sleeping yet she wanted to talk to me. Luckily my phone was on vibrate so I wasn’t woken up.
So I called her when I got up; and we talked a little. Now she knows I have this certification exam, (for anyone who has taken a Microsoft exam knows how time consuming they can be & expensive @ $125 a pop.) so she asks "I know you’re going to say no…but…" and I responded "Just ask me…" She wanted to hang out. I was like , are you kidding me?
I told her I needed to study more tomorrow, and that I had told her repeatly that Friday night I would not see her. (Mind you today is the first day I haven’t seen her since last Wednesday.) She then, began to get all huffy and upset, and said "Why didn’t you study TONIGHT?"
(I study everyday, mind you.)

Gah.
Tell her you need space until you’re finished with your exam? It will give you time to focus on that, and her time to develop a little bit outside of your relationship.

She called me 10 times while I saw sleeping.

Gah, I’ve tried to break up with her, but she always sucks me back in.

don’t let her

direct the motivation that you have in all other aspects of your life towards this situation. if you want to break up with her, then do it. sure it might be hard (and you might have to change your phone number ) but it will be worth it in the long run for your life goals.

Sound advice. Thanks.

We had a longggggg talk last night. She said she’s going to try harder to understand my situation…

but I have a feeling within a week she’ll be back to normal. If so, she gets the boot.

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God damn, I think I have some kind of problem. I have no reason to be depressed right now and I am. Things in my life are starting to pick up and I still feel sad. This weekend was great, I saw my BF, we partied hard, had a ton of fun and I was really happy. I was happy all today…now its 10:45PM and I’m depressed as FUCK. I just want to go to bed but I have homework to do…

The only things I have to be depressed about are:
- Dad still hates me, Mom on the other hand is re-accepting me.
- Poor? But that is not a big issue to me, having more money wouldn’t make me happier…
- The past…but that is the PAST. I shouldn’t care about that. Ugh…

I think I need real help but don’t know what I should do. I will not take anti-depressant drugs as I have an addiction problem and I don’t believe in taking them as I feel it is the wrong way to go about fixing my problems. I don’t want to feel this depressed every day though.

I know what I could do to fix the problem but I have told myself that I’m stronger than to fall back on old habits…plus I know it will just ruin my life even more.

Basically, I’m looking for tips or help or anything so I don’t feel like this anymore. I don’t see what else in my life I can do to "fix" anything. Some people just don’t change and I can’t do anything about that. I’ve been depressed off/on for…as I was typing this I was going to count the months…then it ended up being years and now it is as long as I can remember. I’ve been depressed since I was 12 years old when I was told I had cancer. So pretty much 7 years of hating myself and doing a lot of drugs to feel better.

Please help me…I don’t know what to do anymore.
Well you need to start loving yourself , and accepting yourself for who you are. You need to start to enjoy,love and appreciate all the small joys that life has to offer. There’s really more joy in the small things, then there is in the big things. You can enjoy your bf, walking in the park with him, talking, and you should try to get out more in nature, it gives a sense of calm and joy. Everything thats mechanical and human is also stressful.

Life is pretty much like sailing on a boat, you need to get yourself into steady waters and make sure your going into a positive constructive and right direction.
Yeah, man just love yourself more don’t let the negative get to you. I know that you are an awesome kid and you’ve overcame lots of obstacles that others have only had to hear about. You’re a strong kid and you’ll make it through.
That’s the thing though…I feel like my "boat" is sailing along decently well, but I fuck up on some things. Like right now I should be working on a project for class but I’m too depressed to do it. I can’t even think straight right now, let alone produce something worth my time. And it’s not only school that gets me down. I feel like it is EVERYTHING that gets me down. Like, I think it is because I am not living my life how I want to live my life. The way I want to live my life is much simpler and fun, but also more dangerous (chance of being poor for life) and less than looked upon well by society…

I don’t know what I’m saying really, nevermind. It just seems fucked up that life is supposed to feel like this. Why would we be put on this Earth to feel like utter shit for our entire life? When I was a little kid I was too stupid to realize how sad I was but now that I think about it I was depressed as soon as I was in school, if not before then. It makes me sad to say this but I was a little kid in elementary school, and my first year did not speak a word of English really and everyone would laugh at me and I had zero friends…I would just stick to myself. I still sucked at speaking English until I was 10 or so and then I was decent, I could have conversations with people at least, but people would still say words sometimes and I had no fucking idea what they meant. All of this crap just made me really sad and having no friends was no fun. More and probably some of the most depression was from cancer & the treatments for 2 years when I was 12-14. Thought I was going to die for sure so I just kind of said fuck the world. Didn’t die, but started smoking weed kind of around there and realized it made me happy and I could finally laugh. Smoked weed pretty much every day of high school and it made me happy but when I wasn’t high I was depressed again. Sophmore/junior year I tried coke & X for the first time and those were awesome and made me feel even better. Junior year though I got addicted to both of those and got busted by the cops and sent to drug rehab. Got back from rehab, did some more coke but stopped finally and just started drinking and smoking bud a lot. Now I quit those too, so I have nothing. I think that is why I’m depressed, I don’t smoke bud anymore. I know it is a good thing that I dont smoke anymore but it makes me feel so much better, I don’t know how.

Fuck this is long…I’m printing this though and taking it to whoever I can find that wants to be my psychiatrist. I can’t speak about things like this openly without crying so it helps to just type it.
What are the withdrawls from weed? I smoked basically every day for 4 years, slowed down a little this summer (3-5 days/week) and then quit and have been clean for weeks now, almost a month…ya like a month. Maybe thats why I’m depressed. I fucking love smoking weed now that I think about it. Everything about it is good. Buying weed is fun, looking at it, smelling it, breaking it up and packing a nice bowl and fucking roasting it. Shit.

I think I don’t know how to love myself. I feel like no matter what I ever do in life I’ll never be good enough. I go to a good school and get pretty good grades…I have a good life with a lot of friends, partying, a caring BF and all of you guys who are nice to me but I still am depressed. I think I have been sad my entire life now that I really do think about it and don’t know how to feel happy or good about myself…that’s the fucking problem. I don’t know what it feels like to just be happy for an extended amount of time preferably without drugs.

Sorry for going off on like every random topic, but this is a way for me to kind of walk through why I’m depressed and I hope people can offer advice or at least ask questions which will make me think of why I’m sad.
DO IMPORTANT THINGS FIRST the fun things can come later in life.

Look ,from your point of view it might be weird, but from our vantage viewing point however it isn’t ‘strange’ at all, that you are depressed. Look, you have been going thru a very hard time lately. And you know we can give you all kinds of advice, but winning the war called ‘life’ is up to you.

It took me time to realise too, but life is more about ‘concrete things/values’ then virtual concepts,which are more like additions. Its time to be ‘realistic’ and work insanely hard to gain those things that give real concrete positive constructive value to your life.

Its like a little boy alone in the desert who’s thirsty, no one is gonna give him water, hell rather a spear in his back. He’s going to die if he doesn’t find water. Now he could whine and cry all day over being thirsty. Or he could start digging a well or try locating a resource of water, and although that’s gonna take him a hell of effort, he’ll hopefully be able to find water and survive.

Or in other words, this kids happyness is his own hands. You also have your own happyness in your own hands. Everything that you want to gain in life requires you to make a sacrifice.

The reason that we go thru all these things in life, is to make our souls stronger.Therefore you have to fight the odds with all that you’ve got, and everything in your power to make your life succesfull.

I know you want a ‘certain type of life’, but you quickly need to come to the realisation that this isn’t tinkie winkie land, this is pure survival. You have to align yourself in the way how society works. Once you’ve got your life in order, you can make adjustments to live a life that’s more suitable to your means.
It’s good to look at it from that perspective. Where everything I do in my life has sacrifices that need to be made. I am working towards bettering my life though. Right now my goals are to graduate school and just get a job and be done with school and all of its hell. But my other goal is to just be happy and I can’t figure out a plan to do that. I don’t know if this is how you are "supposed" to feel, I’ve felt this way my whole life, so maybe, but I don’t think so, it doesn’t seem right.

I also want to do other things in life (not going to tell OT what they are, sorry, it is beyond my my outside personal life) but there are restrictions on what I want to do that basically are forcing me to never do these things…and I think that is getting me down. The past also gets me down and I think I need to quit thinking about the past as much. My past sucks and if I think about it all the fuckin time I’m gonna suck.

The past.. IS the past. I know that never ever got me anywhere. I mean you take lessons with you from it obviously but you don’t have to take the memory if it hurts. It took me a long long time to realize that and obviously you can’t always forget things but as a general rule if you can let something go don’t be afraid to.

If you smoke weed a lot.. and stop.. it can do some messed up things to you. Everyone is different. People say weed is harmless and I don’t really agree or disagree because I don’t care enough but it can take a toll on some people. Any drug alters your body.

I don’t know what to say as like any all telling advice since I also have my own problems. However with the school thing I would say factor it out in your head. How far are you, how much does it load onto your life. I had to quit my job to get through this semester. I knew I wouldn’t make it otherwise without being a wreck. I come before school because school isn’t worth it if I don’t come out in the end also. However school is important to me so I need to try and balance it out the best that I can.

I used to not be able to do school work if I was upset. Somehow I just learned to block things out and stay busy and do all of my work and if I was still upset in the end deal with it. I’m not saying that is healthy but it is how I am going to make it. Honestly, doing school work asap and getting it out of the way has made a HUGE difference in my life. It sounds dumb but it is the truth and I see lots of other people benefit from it. The stress dissapears and stays out of the rest of your life for the day when you know there is nothing needed to be done for that day. If school gets you down maybe other things would feel better when you do them if you knew you could enjoy them without stress?
Yeah the past is gone but the feelings/thoughts are still there to me. It would make me a lot stronger if I could "forget" about it but I know that can not happen. The past for me is too fucked up and serious for me to just let it go. I wish I could not think about it though, not sure how to do that though, sadly.

As for the weed, I did smoke a lot, like way too much…I was basically permanently blazed. Wake up, blaze, shower, go to school, 10:00AM break — blaze, class, lunch — blaze, class, out of school — blaze a couple times with friends, go home, homework, blaze, fool on computer, blaze, sleep. rinse and repeat for about 4 years. So I guess that is like 6-7 times a day…say it lasts 1.5-2 hours so like 9-14 hours of being high a day…
Went from that to cold turkey but I couldnt handle that and smoked once or twice a day for some weeks and now I’m cold turkey again and haven’t smoked in a month.
I feel like I’m just a pussy cry baby. I’ve been a pussy my entire life and always will be.

Little, pussy, Dietrich. Never will do anything right in life.

Fuck this I’m going to bed. That’s the only time I don’t feel depressed because I can’t think then.
Music is a crazy thing. I feel relieved of nearly all of my stress. I get stuck in the moment too easily. I am going to research anti-depressants tomorrow though and their side effects, risks and addictiveness. If they actually do make me feel good I think I will get addicted to them because that has happened with pretty much every pill I have ever taken. Pain killers, X, sleep aids, coke (not a pill but a happy powder, same idea), all got me hooked real quick.
I hope I can do something good with today with my 3 hours of sleep. I want to talk to a psychiatrist and a doctor and maybe get anti-depressants if I feel they are not too dangerous. I feel it would be better to use anti-depressant drugs than to start taking other drugs to feel better at night. Recently I’ve been taking sleepiing pills because it made me feel drunk with no hangover and I could go to bed really fast and that felt good. They are dangerous though and if I take a shit load I could off myself, and that’s not too good.

I think at least trying out talking to someone is a good idea. Especially because of the drug thing. See what they have to say.
For sure….I am going after class today to meet with someone that I called this morning. They seemed nice on the phone, I’ll see if I am comfortable around them though…meh.
I think I’m going to buy some posters or something for my room too so it is not so depressing in here. Right now my "house" is a ~15′x14′ (maybe?) room with a desk, a $5 foldout chair and my mattress on the floor. Then I have my clothes stacked in a corner on towels and all of my dry food over there and my other food in my mini fridge/freezer. It just looks really boring in here. I think I might be getting a housing scholarship though so that will help me economically a lot if I get it. It is based off need-first so I think that will help my chances. I am trying to get food stamps too, I assume I qualify.
I wouldn’t look into the drugs right away. See what you can do and how to avoid them. A hobby will certainly help, even though with your money status it would be hard. Try to find a consignment shop, but a cheap bike and go ride around a park. Riding a bike helped me a lot when I just needed to get away and relax.
You talk about what wouldn’t make you happy… but what WOULD make you happy?
…and don’t say drugs… drugs just cover up our problems…
drugs,alcohol,anti-depressants,smoking, they all just make you go around in circles, they’re not getting you anywhere, all symptom supressors, but no problem solvers.

You must steer clear from all the destructive/addictive substances and habits, they’ve done nothing else but make you feel miserable in the end and destroy your life. Try to build it off, they don’t add anything they only destroy the very little that you have in your life.

Its YOU who determines wether you are a winner/loser in life, not others. You have your life in your hands. It doesn’t matter anything either, the only thing you can do is try your best to make the most out of your life, that counts infinitly more then caring about other people’s opinions, people who you probably barely even know, and even if they know you they should support you, throw out everyone in your life who doesn’t support you, if they don’t care for you, then you don’t need them into your life.

Honestly as said winning the war is up to you, therefore do everything in your power in order to lead a succesfull life.
I feel a lot more confident in my future today. It is odd how I can fluctuate so much in 24 hours…last night I felt utterly horrible and now today I feel ok. I don’t feel good, I feel ok though.

I had a doctor appointment today and had to have a physical. But after that we were talking about my melanoma history and all that shit. I am going back tomorrow to have a mole on my leg biopsied(sp?). I guess all I can do is pray it comes back negative. It doesn’t look too good but I’ve had others in the past that looked worse to me and they were negative as well.

After that he asked me how my life was going in general and I thought that was a good time to bring up that it was ok, but nothing special. Asked about school, grades, friends, and inevitably, family life. I did not tell him about about it and just kind of lied and said it was fine but if I see him again I may tell the truth. He was a good listener and gave me good advice too. Similar to what you guys have said…it is my life and no one can stop me from achieving whatever it is I want to do. No one has more power over my life more than I do… I guess I am just going to spend the next months/years working towards what I want in life and hopefully everything works out as planned.

Time to wait now and just pray.
That is my #1 hobby currently actually. I lift 5-6+ days/week and run long distance or sprints 3 days/week.

It definitely helps. For those 1-3 hours a day, I’m free…I am completely zoned out from my life.
After I posted that I did LOL @ how much it sounded like Vin Diesel but was too lazy to edit it.
Ugh, I feel so horribly depressed and anggry again. I don’t know how to just relax and love life. I worry all the time and I hate it. I’m sure it’s good that I worry because I get shit done but it takes over my life. I’m not embarassed to say that I’ve been sitting here crying for the past hour at my computer desk. I just feel like I do everything wrong and nothing is ever going to be normal again. I’m sure in reality I’m working towards correcting and bettering my self but the way I think about it all I see is me being fucked. There is a thing in my life I WANT to do but I CAN’T and it makes me angry every day that I can’t and it is unfair. Life is not fair though, so what can I expect?

I just feel like permanently stressed, angry, sad, depressed…all at once, all the time. I don’t know how to fix it…I dont think i can. I think there are just lots of forces pushing me towards living this way and no matter how hard I push back they will just keep pushing. At times I just wish I had died when I was in the hospital, it would have been very peaceful. It seems like the brief moments of happiness though keep me going, just waiting for that next moment where I can smile.
Man oh man…I read my posts the next day and it’s like I’m in a whole other world at night. What I posted is true, but I just feel much different at night I guess. I still feel shitty now, but I’m also tired and I just want to go back to bed haha

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He set me up to call a specific endocrinologist clinic. He also said it would take awhile to set up an appointment with them. If I can find another that can set up an appointment sooner, I’ll go with him instead. It’s been 3 weeks since my last visit to the psychiatrist. I don’t want to wait another fucking month.

After looking at my lab results for blood work and urinalysis, I was told my DHEA and Androsterone is low (my mojo). The psych believes it’s more physical than mental with me. I just think he doesn’t want give a black guy drugs.

No, he’s doing his job right. Hypothyroid can cause symptoms that are pretty similar to depression and if it’s the problem then the treatment is definetly not the same.
I haven’t had a job since the end of July. I’m basically waiting till I can get some type of answer, like: Your normal, deal with it, your testosterone levels are low, we’ll fix it, you have ADHD we’ll medicate you for it, or something alone those 3 answers, before I get another job. I got about $2,500, living with my father, and hardly any bills to pay. I’m gonna wait till I receive some specific response before getting a job. And I’m not doing anything in the mean time.
Thoughts x Action = Reality.

You lack discipline, or in other words you’re not ‘strict’ enough with yourself.

Doing important things first > having fun

Discipline is an ‘art’ ,that you must learn. Lazyness leads to nowhere, while persistance is the key to succes.

BUT , if you ask me your energy system is blocked.

I don’t know if you know anything about the aura and how chakra’s can become blocked, and then healed thru Reiki healing. But extreme fatigue can be caused because of a non-functioning energy system, but you might want to look into that , thru Bhuddism and Reiki you can refind your balance. But i feel that these concepts are an ‘out of your world’ subject, however feel free to explore it, in more practical sense i would say ‘track and field’ is the way to go for you. Because it ‘always’ requires you to be ‘on time’.

You know, responsibility is something that comes along with being mature, i was just like you, lazy, never on time. Rather doing fun things, procastrinate. Not being able to see the ‘use’ of it all. I was totally blind, and never looked into the details of thing. You know, i needed a ‘wake up call’ so im just going to say what thru experience i had to learn myself.

This is not La La La pukie pukie fantasyland, your life is ‘pure survival’ you first need to help yourself, and help other people along the way. There’s a ‘reason’ why you are doing all this, you for example need to stop eating for 3 weeks, stop drinking for 3 weeks, you’ll starve, you’ll be caught by a great thirst, and that is the reason why we work. So we don’t starve to death, and don’t die from thirst. Same counts for school, your not going to school because they want to punish you, you’re in school for yourself. So that instead of living a shit life as a farmer, or any of the insignificant jobs you’ve been doing, you’d be improving your life. Yes, the meaning of a diploma is so that you can stop doing the shit job you hate, and be able to do a nice job that you get paid for x 10 compared to that shit job, you’d be able to buy that dream house you’d be looking forward living in instead of some army tent.

People don’t work for fun, people don’t goto school for fun either. You need to start asking yourself a couple of questions on ‘why’ are they doing this? Is there a reason maby behind it?

Doing nothing = results in nothing. People procastrinate because they only want to do fun things, but the reality =

Waiting won’t work.

Just get the damn job done.

You want to deliver a good job, you want to come in time. Then get a get up n go attitude that brings along a productive labour in the end.

(But what if i tell myself all these things, but i never get anything done)

Its because you need to ‘kick your own ass’ into doing things.

Why is an army instructor able to get you to do things, as wel as your boss?

Its because they put you under pressure. Your body is pretty much like a kettle, no heat no pressure = not doing anything. You need to increase the amount of pressure on yourself and demand that you get things done.

It’s a whole change of attitude that you have to go thru. Set 2 alarmclocks, one to wake you up, and a second that tells you when you need to leave,

You know the whole thing about coming in too late is that you don’t feel any pain when you come too late, but the thing is that you have got to experience coming late vice versa to really hate it.

Imagine you ordered something really important, they say it will come tomorrow, in reality your package comes 45 months too late. Now that would make you go into ‘ultra mega hyper hatred mode’ , and now imagine how you are doing the same thing every time you come late to your boss, sucks doesn’t it?

BE RESPONSIBLE, come in time, work hard to succeed, do your best in school, hate lazyness.

Ask yourself the question, do i really want to be a lazy pig? No of course not, Living a lifestyle like that is death, you want to be a productive member of society , not for society’s sake, but for your own sake.

You need to start making priorities, you need to change your attitude, who you are , your ‘approuch’ towards things needs to change.

Ban all fun things out of your life, start working seriously on where the problems lie, make a schedule for yourself, heed to that schedule so you can live a productive lifestyle, making the most of your day. Its the reason why farmers wake up so early, to make the most of their day. You also need to start making the most of your life, we can only advice and guide , but winning the war is up to you.
Dude, if it is your thryroid, that is WAY easier to treat than if you’ve got serotonin/dopamine/whatever imbalances. Your symptoms will clear up faster and with less side effects, too.

The side effects of thyroid medication are like nothing. Now go google SSRI side effects; just reading about them can make you depressed.

I think.

word

life will be 100 percent better with normal test

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Was a graphic designer before. Yawn.

Graphic designer is still doing something for society. You’re helping to entertain them in some way.
I can’t see being motivated and ambitious as bad things. Just make sure you have a solid plan so you don’t blow all your time/money on something that won’t succeed.

I love daydreaming about inventions or stuff I wanna do. 95% of it will never happen or is useless but one day I’ll come up with something good.
i have a deep desire to help mankind in some way or another. i almost feel like thats the only way to validate my life in a weird sense. To feel like i wasn’t just a waste of life. I really haven’t figured out HOW im going to achieve this yet though. I’m only 25 right now so the optimal route would be to have success in business which would allow me to take care of my family and retire at an early age. From there I would like to setup charities using my extra $$ or maybe be a professor / teacher
The meaning of life is to help and love others.i want to move on to more structural help like in ‘learning the person how to fish for themselves instead of catching it for them’ kind of strategies. This would apply to all things, because i also don’t like the ‘carrying water to sea’ idea. It has to be usefull on long terms. But becoming a doctor is definitly good start for your career as a loving soul, and it enables you to help a lot of people.
i do it everyday at work.
nothing like having such a rewarding career
I wanted to for years but then I found out that I could never pass the classes I needed to help mankind in the way I wanted.
I feel compelled to do more. Always wanted to make a positive impact.

Not sure how I’ll manage with my health issues, but I’ve come to believe that I should be helping others like me.

Some day, somehow.
Yes.

I would like to make a billion dollars and put it in a low risk account that pays a guaranteed 5% (which in this case is $50 million) per year, and donate that $50M per year to medical science research to cure cancer and movement disorders.

I only say that because I don’t think I could do it myself, but I would like to facilitate the research for other, smarter people.

I’m still trying to think of another way to benefit society.
EMT-Paramedic.

Aside from all the bullshit calls, I feel like I do make a difference.

It also makes you appreciate everything you have -that- much more, You really do have no idea what you’ve got until it’s gone.
I have the same sentiments in which I fancy doing something really important and eminent in society that would be noticeable, but I don’t have the intentions of doing it to raise the morale or even help mankind. I would mainly want to do something enormous in my life for myself and my future family — Not for the intentions of doing something for mankind or my society in general, since I’ve always believed in helping yourself out firstly. If what I’m doing is successful and makes me successful, then it might already be helping mankind unbeknownst to me or if I feel generous, then I’d start helping mankind or society in general.
Sometimes this thought is the only reason I show up to class And there’s no such thing as too motivated or too ambitious.

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You need to get into the state of mind that your education is important and is costing you or your parents a shitload of money. While you may not be making the payments now, when you are outta school and cant land a job because you performed poorly in school you will kick yourself in the teeth for squandering your education over an extra hour of sleep.

I wake up at 515am every morning for my job and aside from some tea or an energy drink, making a living is motivation enough for me.
i literally throw myself out of bed. my alarm goes off twice, once for me to semi wake up and hit snooze, the 2nd time for me to really get up. i dont really open my eye until after i go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. it never has gotten any easier for me, and the fact that its completely dark at 6am makes it even worse right now
I want to do good in school, so I have no choice some days
I do well in school though haha, thats the funny part. And it’s me who is paying for it. I receive $0 from my parents.

I guess its just because it was a stupid class I said fuck it…I wish I had a more important class on T/Th mornings.

Moreso I was just looking for tips on how to wake up…like have a countdown, make coffee/tea/hot chocolate when you wake up, lots of alarms, etc. I have only my phone’s alarm right now and I hate that son of a bitch so much…it just goes beep beep beep. The weird thing is though sometimes I wake up like 5 seconds before it starts to go off.
I was like you once. I thought 9am was "really early". I worked 2nd shift, got up around 10-1030 in the morning, stayed up til midnight.

Guess what time I get up for work now? 5:30. AM. Why? Because I have to be at work at 730, out the door at 630 so I can get to the parking lot and catch the shuttle to work…

Do i wish I could go back? Actually, no. It’s somewhat of a pain to get up, but it’s nice to get out of work at 430 and have time to relax in the evening or be social if I want.

However…it really comes down to age. In college, it’s the norm to sleep in all day and stay up all night. Once you get out of college and working, it’s no longer the norm.

And like someone else said…when you’re working full time, you are motivated to get up for the money and benefits…college is harder because you don’t have any tangible motivators for going to classes.
A stern threat from my department chair did the trick.
Yeah I think it’s because anything before 10 AM in college is like dead. Its completely silent and there is basically no one awake. I hope to take some later classes next quarter. For now, I try to go to bed "early"….early to bed for me is before midnight…that is a rare occassion though.
Because class = a job. And you guys obviously know all about me…lol I didn’t make this thread to get critiqued…I made it for tips on how the fuck to wake up haha.

I thought that would help me when I was a freshman… it only made the problem 10x worse

Yeah ahah then I’d end up sleeping in even later and going to bed even later…fawk. I think once I move out of the dorms and into my apartment I will go to bed earlier…here it seems like there is always something going on at night to keep me up.
I take a nap in the afternoon so for me its just getting through the day
1st alarm is set an hour and a half before I need to get up so I can hit the snooze at least 7 times before I have to drag my fat ass out of bed. 2nd alarm is set to the last possible moment before I have to get up. First alarm is the radio, 2nd is a buzzer.

I HATE that buzzer. I try to make sure I’m up before that fucker goes off

Oh, and I also use one of these when I’m at the SO’s house so I don’t wake him up

When that thing starts vibrating under your pillow, you’ll never get back to sleep.

There are better ones here

yeah that didn’t help either. my neighbors ended up being way too fun.
I’ve trained my body to wake up at the same time everyday, and I NEVER use the snooze button.

My body knows once that alarm goes off I need to get up. As long as your body knows that it needs to start moving once your alarm goes off and you have your alarm set at the same time throughout the week (Including weekends), you don’t even need the alarm anymore

And yes, I’m a college student too… anything before 9 is empty

As a matter of fact, anything before noon is usually empty
Lol, I wake up at like 5:00AM on MWF, 9AM T/Th and then on weekends I have to catch up on sleep and am usually drunk/hungover so I wake up at like 12-2PM.

well, no wonder you can’t get up or sleep.

Find a consistent time that you can get up EVERY day. Your current sleep schedule is confusing as hell for your body.
Today was epic fail. Woke up at 5AM, went running, came back, start doing HW in bed, next thing I know I’m 100% asleep and I wake up at 3PM. SHIT!!!!!!!!

I used to that shit in college. Now I wake up at 5am or 4am everyday. I work 4 days a week at 6am and the day I don’t work I’ll take it easy in the morning, but I make sure to get out of bed. However, my body now wakes up at 5am regardless of alarm clock or not, kind of sucks on vacations.
Here’s the deal.

If you want to wake up early, you have to go to bed early. It really is that simple.

I’ve also read somewhere that the BEST sleep you can get is the sleep you get BEFORE midnight.

I’m in the same boat as you (except I have a job and I don’t sleep in as bad as you do–I’m usually like 15 minutes late for work).

Essentially, it got to the point where my boss had to give me a verabal reprimand and is going through the steps if I fuck up anymore, so I’m FORCED to get up on time or face going down the steps of correction towards getting fired.

Here are the things I’ve done that have worked for me:

1. Buy a new alarm clock. You’ve conditioned yourself to sleep in to your normal alarm clocks, so now you need a new sound that you are going to train yourself to listen to.

2. Go to bed BEFORE midnight NO MATTER WHAT. Seriously, even if it’s 11:30 (which is when I go to bed now), you have no idea the difference that that makes. Like I said, your best sleep is going to happen before midnight, so I suggest going to bed on weeknights as early as 10:30 or 11 PM.

3. Drink two large glasses of water before going to bed. Trust me, this is the most effective thing I’ve done to date. Nothing like having to piss like a ten-peckered billy goat to get you out of bed.

4. Wake up at the same time EVERYDAY. Even on the weekends. Now here’s the trick, on the weekends you don’t have to STAY up, but you do have to wake up and go through your daily rituals as if you were going to class. It’s the habit of waking up at that same time everyday that you are going for. When you’ve gone through your routine (piss, shower, eat breakfast, whatever), feel free to go back to bed.

5. Reward yourself for good behavior. Every so often it’s nice to wake up and go "hey, i deserve a reward for this." This is going to sound stupid, but I LOVE McDonald’s breakfast (particularly their bagels). So every couple of weeks, when I wake up early enough and have been doing well, I reward myself with going to McD’s for breakfast. I know that’s a retarded reward, but it’s given me SOMETHING to look forward to. I hate my job, so the fact that I hate my job makes me not want to get up to go to it. But if I give myself a reason to get up or a reward once in a while, it helps immensely.

6. This is going to sound off the wall, but it worked for me. Practice getting up. I know it sounds stupid, but it works. What I mean is, for the next couple of evenings, set your alarm for a minute or two ahead of the current time, get yourself down in your bed as if you are going to sleep, and close your eyes. When the alarm goes off, IMMEDIATELY jump out of bed, shut it off, and go through the motions of your morning routine. Do that for 20 or 30 times, for a couple of nights. You’ll be surprised at how effective it is because it’s essentially training you to jump out of bed automatically whenever you hear your alarm, and it worked very well for me.

7. Finally, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT GET USED TO HITTING SNOOZE. Snooze is a death sentence for people like us. When you train yourself to use snooze, you are only making the situation work. When you set your clock fast to "trick yourself" you are only making the situation worse. All those little stupid things you do, are only making things worse. Set your clock for the EXACT time you want to get up (not early, don’t set your time fast or anything like that) and then GET UP when the alarm goes off and resolve to never hit your snooze button ever again.

I’m going to try this. Right now it’s having two alarms on both corners of my room so I HAVE to get up out of bed to turn them off. But on the desperate occasions… I get up out of bed, turn them off and then hop back into bed
get one of these, i got mine for ~15 on ebay

the quote is incorrect: you can set it as a normal alarm clock
^ Don’t try that gimmicky shit. All you are going to do is conditon yourself to where the only thing that will get you up is something extremely loud.

Seriously, all you’ve got to do is follow my advice and train yourself to respond to your alarm clock.

Yeah, I got so bad that I had two alarm clocks–one by the bed and one across the room. And I conditioned myself to jump out of bed, hit snooze on both alarms and then jump back into bed.

Make sure you follow all (or at least most) of what I said in that post. All the stuff combined will almost ensure that you’ll always get up. The most important parts to follow, though are to never hit snooze, go to bed before midnight (but preferably 10:30 or 11), and get on the same exact sleeping schedule everyday. If you don’t do those things, then you will battle the mornings everyday for the rest of your life.

If you follow my advice, you can actually condition your body to wake up before the alarm clock ever goes off.

it gives me fish burps

dispatch would call and tell me to get my ass in; i’d fall right back asleep and not even know i talked to them

The best thing that ever got me out of bed in the mornings was moving my alarm clock. When it was next to my bed, I would just keep hitting snooze and sleep in. Moving it across the room and turning the volume up will force you out of bed to shut it off. From there you may as well just get ready for your day because you’re now up and out of bed.

even enteric coated ones? they have a coating that’s slow to dissolve so that you won’t get fish burps

LOL that’s quite the article you got there…I’ll give it a try. Thanks.

not to mention, it would be a great way to damage your ears…or really annoy others if you slept anywhere but your own place.

Yeah, I’ll be living in an apartment with my SO in a month in the same bedroom and he would KILL me if it went off at like 5:00AM. I wake up to pretty much anything anyway…my phone alarm is not like super loud or anything. Sometimes I’ll wake up, turn it off, then see my bed and climb back in and be like "I’ll get up in 5 minutes…" and then in 10 seconds I’m asleep again. Then I’ll wake up in like 35 minutes and have to rush to class.

Well, yeah, since I’ve failed at pretty much everything in my life, I usually have some sort of advice based on my own experience with said failure.

The "practice waking up" came from an online article about sleeping (Steve Pavolina is his name I think). The rest of it was just my own trial and error shit and stuff that has helped me and worked for me personally.
Truth

throughout college, i had quite a few 730 am classes. some were 4 days a week! i agree, sometimes it was hard, especially if it was cold. [on cold ~40ish degree nights here in orlando i would leave my windows wide open because i love to snuggle with lots of blankets ] my problem was making sure i’d wake up to hear my alarm . i’d usually just set 10 different alarms on my cell phone.

i guess it was easy for me because i knew that if i didn’t go to class and get the notes [some classes i recorded the lectures --- pchem, advanced analytical chem], there was no way that i would pass the class. also, it’s a real waste of money, imo.

i now get up between 4-5am at least 2-3 times a week. i have a ~1 hour commute to work. what motivates me? i would get fired if i showed up late, and i absolutely hate being late. it’s rude.
I’m pulling an allnighter…bad idea, I know…but it was like 1AM and I had TONS of energy and had caffeine recently, so now its 3AM and I have to be up at 5AM so I was like might as well. Gotta work on some homework anyway.
Fuuuucckkkkk….all nighter failed miserably. I really need to get my head back in the game and work harder at school in general. I work really hard and get my work done 95% of the time, but that 5% is really lacking and is really going to fuck me over big time. There’s always like 3 projects/tests in a class or so….so if you miss one you’re like fucked.

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Few years back, I probably made a thread in here when my ex g/f left me.
I moved to Cali because my mom moved there, got a job, made friends, was having an awesome time.

Dad kicked me out for unknown reasons, probably because I took his old job, but he quit anyway so whatever.
I had been seeing this girl I met shortly after my ex left me, kind of a rebound fuck but she wasn’t the first I had sex with after my ex left.

I had planned to live on a boat in cali, but with my boss only paying me $300 a week, I couldn’t afford to live there. Rather than look for a job or apartment or being somewhat of a responsible human being I called this girl and she told me to come live with her. I didn’t know if that would work, but she travels for her job so she was gone all the time. The novelty of that I did like, but I didn’t want to just use her.
I got a job like right after I got to Texas with this company, and they started bouncing paychecks and I just stuck around like an idiot because I was making some money. We moved out of houston further north and I left that job because everyone else had left at that point as well.
I found another job, but it was shitty, they didn’t pay overtime and I wanted to stay in my field (audio/video installer).
She got a job offer in Alabama and I moved here with her, I have no job now, I’ve been applying everywhere I can think of, I wanted to stay in my field but now I don’t care. I applied at a grocery store for fucks sake.
She told me she’s tired of supporting me, and doesn’t want me to be here since I’m not bringing in any money.
She’s crying and so am I, I didn’t want to be a fucking failure and I am.
She doesn’t want me to go, doesn’t want this to be over but either way I have to go. I feel like if we take a break, we won’t get back together anyway so we are just going to end it. Unless I get a job phone call this week I’m moving.

I just had to rant to someone.
I should mention that I’m 30, and have no college education. I have plans to fix that, but that hinges on me getting a job where I move to.

Hey, things could be worse, you’re not me.
My advice is to be there were the oppertunities are.

There seems to be oppertunity in Alabama but you have to 24/7 search for a job, now is not the time to be kidding around. Just say to your gf that you are going to do everything in your power to get a job, and will leave the house if she really wants you to, but that in the meantime you’ll be out searching for a job. Show her that you are serious, not just with words, but 100% action as wel. You have too many posts on OT, you need to understand that doing important things comes first > having fun its that you have to ensure you are doing the right and the responsible thing here. I can only give you guidance to get thru this, but winning the war is up to you.
Right now, you need to take any job you can get, regardless of field. Once you have enough money coming in to pay your bills, you can start looking for a better job (either in terms of pay or liking the job).

And as far as the living together/relationship….this probably killed it. Once you get some money coming in, look for a different place to live, get some roommates you aren’t involved with. Then you and she will have to see if the relationship can be rebuilt or not.
I was in a similar but better situation than that about 3 years ago. All I can say is…

I know you’re 30 but we had a 34 year old in our division. Yes it will suck, you’ll be 34 being bossed around by little bitch 20 year olds that are higher rank. But if you pick a decent rate you can get a lot of good experience out of it and some good education.

If you do choose this route. Since you have audio/electrical experience already I would recommend the rate ET/FC/IC or something similar. I really hate it at times but it’s a steady and guaranteed paycheck, I’ve gotten to see some really fucking cool places, I’ve gotten some good training out of it. Talk to people in The Barracks or feel free to PM me if you want more info. Don’t make the decision lightly… I don’t hate this palce but I wish I had known somethings I know now before I joined.

As far as your relationship… your financial situation is undoubtedly a contributing factor to your problems. Like was said above, get a job, any job. You’d be surprised how much a good server or bartender can make (maybe a bar tending license/classes would be beneficial?). Just don’t get stuck in that field and get out of it as soon as possible. Basically, you say your making an effort to get a job but do you spend a lot of your time sitting around at your house? Just the simple act of being out looking for a job might give her more faith in you and give you some more time. You need to start bringing in bank.

Finances are definitely a killer of a lot of relationships and marriages.

I hope that if you start college, you will finish it.

When I used to work with older junior college students, they would always tell me that they wanted to finish school. For the most part, many do not finish and most seem to drop out.

Suggestion: What about garbage man? Military?

She doesn’t want me in military, but now that this is going to be over I may consider it.
I’m just going to get something that I can do, and take night courses at a community college if they will transfer so it will be a little cheaper since I’ll have to work and go to school.

I want to make something of myself, but trying to get myself motivated to do that is hard for me. I feel like because I am 30, I’ve wasted my life and won’t amount to anything.

The thing that hurts me is that I don’t think I love her, I don’t even know if I can say it, my ex and I told each other that we loved each other but I don’t think I ever did and I didn’t want to tell this girl that I did if I didn’t.

Even if I get a call back this week for a job I think it’s best if we do split, with her being gone for work so much, I never see her and I do miss her when she’s gone, and when she’s home it’s only for a few days.
I miss my friends terribly, and the though of moving to be with them is a happy one, but I just feel like shit again because I’ve fucked up another relationship and I never wanted to hurt her. I hate myself so much right now, I should be sleeping next to her but I can’t sleep, I just pace back and forth crying.
Sorry for ranting again, doubt it helps me to type it out but whatever.

More than likely wisconsin, thought about moving back to Houston but I think that’s a good idea.
Last post for a while because I’m moving on friday.
My truck started shifting weird the other day and I think my trans fluid is burnt, I do not have money to drain and re-fill this fluid and if this trans is broken I don’t know what I am going to do.
I have not gotten any sleep lately, I stay up so late and cry my eyes out.
I can’t stand myself and that I’m such a failure, I hate myself for what I’ve done to her. I had a chance at something really good and I just fucked it all up. I might as well be a fucking drug addict.
I felt the same way when my other ex left me, part of me knows or wants to know that I will get over this, but the other part of me wants myself to suffer emotionally for what I’ve done or not done to her.

I really feel like I should just end this. I don’t know why I should get over her? What’s the point? I want to be a better person because of her, I want to be a better person to her and be with her. And I can’t even tell her I love her because I’m don’t know if I do or not. How the hell am I supposed to know? I keep hearing that you’ll know if you do, and I don’t want to say it and not mean it.

You don’t have to respond to this, I’m just putting my thoughts out because I can’t go to sleep crying and wake her up.
I think u should not worry about a relationship until u can manage yourself.
IF she wont support you, and is not willing to support you through this time, she is just some sleeze. Get away from her. Either go to the military or find a broke ass job. I know u can get a job at McDonalds or some store, just for the time being, who cares about status. Get the job, live in your truck if u have too.. Save money and start going college. Get ur AA, and get a desk job.. If thats not for you, join the military… With the situation u have, u better stop feeling pity for yourself and get going. your 30, have no edu., and no job… there are many ways to come up..

for ex… A football player walked onto his college team. HE had no family, or money to pay for school. He worked out his local grocery store and lived in his truck… He showered and hygiened at his school gym. He made it out of college to the NFL….now has not a worry in site..

Its time to get up and realize reality dude. You can do it

I really don’t think that’s fair.

The gf may simply NOT be able to support herself and another person.

You don’t love her. You are just lost in life right now and are clinging to anyone who shows you affection.

Ending your life wouldn’t solve anything. Life isn’t easy, you’re supposed to figure it out. When bad things happen they tend to happen all at once, but the trick is to not freak out every time something new and horrible happens. No one rewards the weak. You learn to take pride in yourself the more you fight for what you want.

What do I suggest? I first suggest you get a sheet of paper and pen out. Instead of staying up all night crying and feeling guilty you should put all your apologies and feelings into a letter. It’s up to you whether you want to send that letter to your ex or keep it. Many times after you write the letter you don’t even have to give the letter to your ex because you already feel so much better writing it all out.

Other than that do you by any chance have the money to seek some kind of therapist?

Well, I am not neccissarily talking about financial support. It sounds like she wont support him in any way, shape or form. I dont know the full story, but if she needs to move on, let her do so. You could use mental support. Find some friends to see if they can help…. Jus dont give up man.
take a beer baster, fill it with corona, and inject it into your ass, while recording and posting on the internet for some internet money?
hopefully you remember that thread, otherwise I’ll just seem like an ass
From the sounds of it, she’s not someone you care about really, so you shouldn’t be living with her anyways. You need to find someone you do care about (eventually).

It might be time to suck up your pride and apply for welfare and go to workshops to find work. Also, there are temp agencies which are generally an excellent way to find immediate work and immediate cash. I’ve got through many a tough time while unemployed by working for temp agencies.

As for the military, what does it matter whether she wants you to or not? You need to fix your own life, first and foremost. If joining the military is a good option for you, and something you’d like to consider, then by all means, do so.

That said, given that you’re 30 years old, they may not want to take you, so speak to a recruiter before you make any definite plans.

Do try to go the officer training route, where they pay for your schooling. Sure, it involves guaranteeing time in service, but, as an officer, you’re less likely to get shot at than a non-com
You sound EXACTLY like my friend, only difference is that he isn’t living with his current gf (yet).

But he too, is frustrated at lack of job opportunities and when he gets them, places find excuses not to hire him. I told him to change his field and stop looking for so much money considering he has a year, limited, experience in IT and no education at all… but he expects to be handed at least 60 grand a year *sigh*

On top of this, he lives at home with his mom, his stepdad and grandparents still at age 31 and he mooches off his gf as well, she’s paying for his health insurance, writing checks for him in hopes he pays her back (he still owes me $600 as well.. I stopped lending 2 years ago) and paying for his food/clothes. Sounds like he found a sugar momma…

So in essence, if could be MUCH worse. What is holding you back in the job market? Are you black balled or something?
Work for a distributor. I work for a beer distributor and we are ALWAYS looking for people. I work for a beer distributor and we are selling beer out the wazoo and we can’t find extra help!

Jump on the trucks or merchandise a grocery store!

Yea, however the part you that I didn’t get to post cause thread got locked was that I didn’t do that, I lied and got that other chick to do it with a tampon tho

To answer the other posts, I’ve looked, maybe not as hard as I should have, but I have looked and turned in applications and called and get nothing.
I feel worthless and I can’t see the point in going on.

I’m going to sleep. Sorry..just needed to write stuff out I guess.

yeah, you told me it in another thread though

oh, and go to temp agencies

seriously

best choice for you right now
Suck up your pride and take a job, any job, for the sake of having one. It may not be glamorous but hopefully it will pay the bills until something better comes along. Flip burgers if you have to, just get it done and get back in school.
If your girlfriend was supporting you then you are a bum, sorry.

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hey man, basically…it gets better.
I know.
Sorry man.

My parents said they were getting divorced tonight too. Two children too, me and my brother. Well…I don’t know how it feels to be the ones getting divorced but I know how it feels to be the child so I’m sure I can understand some of your pain. Either way…it sucks…hope everything works out decently in the long run.

if it makes you feel any better, my parents divorced when I was 12. It caused me a little bit of trouble down the line, but nothing that i wasn’t able to work through and get over. I know it’s hard and it’s painful for you like it was for my parents. But, as long as you’re still a kind and loving parent to your children, they won’t end up resenting you or hating you. In fact, I appreciate that my parents were able to recognize that their unhappiness was unconquerable and was affecting us.

what?

seriously? you got a divorce?
i’m in for details, too.

i hope said details includes both of you fighting to keep the marriage together

hate to say it this way but do what you can to get it done. don’t fight over savings or possessions or any of that shit. fight for the kids, fight for FUTURE payments/earnings/etc, but give her the house, her car, half of all the money you two have.

just get it done……the longer it drags out the more you pay lawyers so it’s not like you’re going to end up with more by fighting her for shit.

yeah, it’s best to recognize the finality and rip it off like a band-aid, quick and painless (well, as painless as possible).

in for details
Thanks folks..I will elaborate tomorrow, getting out of the house with a few buddies to take my mind of it tonight….
That is always a good thing, hope you’re having a good time.
Sorry man, I’ve been through a break up and now get to go through another one.
I know it’s not near your situation, but hanging out with friends was basically the only thing that helped me.

I never understood this statement.

My divorce drug out for like 18 months, and I paid all the money I had to pay to my lawyer upfront and it didn’t cost me one dime extra by dragging it out. And my lawyer actually told me that my divorce was one of the longest divorce cases she ever had.

I honestly think that this statement isn’t as true as people think it is.

the bold part is what made you different. not many lawyers would agree to that.

I know way too many guys who fought for stuff and ended up losing it anyway because the bills piled up…….two people fight over a summer house and rack up $50k in lawyer bills so they had to sell the place to pay it. a friend fought to keep all his company stock and ended up having to sell much of it to pay for the fight. my brother fought to keep his retirement acct and almost had to gut it to pay for the fight.

I’m not saying hand her everything. I guess I’m saying don’t fight for things out of emotion. Don’t fight for it just because "it SHOULD be mine!" Get it done, get her out of your life, get moved on. You can make more money, you can buy other toys. But keeping her in your life while you fight over a motorcycle or a dog or furniture is stupid.
I’m working on posting the details, just been in a lull lately…I do appreciate the comments from my fellow OT’ers. I have my kiddos this weekend and plan on posting details Sunday

If it’s any consolation I look forward to reading it.
have a good time with your kids
I know I said I would post tonight but after having the kids I am just too wore out to write it up the way I want to. I am working on it but want to make sure I get the story straight. Bear with me ( I know you folks will ) Thanks for the hugs and encouragement so far
So basically she thinks we are more room mates than husband/ wife for the past year or two. Alot of it (imo) stems from us not spending time alone with each other, you see she is one of 8 siblings and her younger brother (29) was always coming over to hang out, always I say. We became friends and would drink it up at night watching sports and what not, but when I noticed it taking time away from my wife it was almost too late. When I asked him to not come over so much he said ok but still popped in everyday, just for 20 minuties or after work. Well then Friday, Sat & Sun rolls around and here he is at our house again for hours. When I say anything she tells me it’s her brother and he has every right to come over, long story but that is a part of it I think caused us to be where we are right now, of course I told her that and she tells me to stop blaming her family and that I take no blame for any of this….
Seems like there should be more to the story than this.

Definitely does. Everybody has 24 hours in their day. If time was that much of a big deal, you two could have planned a couple little getaways and had your sister’s brother watch the kids.

There is I am just too spent to type it all out right now…will get to it as it comes to me
I’m so sorry. I too am going through a divorce. It is one of the hardest things you will ever go through. But it will get better.
Hang in there
I am doing very well right now, thanks in part to some of Vipers posts and some other books I have picked up. I am on my way to recovery faster than ever, I still have hope we can mend this marriage but it si not a priority right now. right now I am focusing on mending myself
I am sorry for you I went thru a divorce a few yrs ago, it sucks and there’s no way around that. We went with the do the paperwork yourself thing (which meant I did it). That worked fine for us cuz there weren’t kids involved-I just took my stuff and left and he kept his shit. I was just so anxious to get away from him, I didn’t want to drag it out. Hind site, I wish I would ‘ve sued him for alimony and shit-he screwed me on some insurance and tax shit & that’s not to mention the abuse he put me thru in the marriage. But anyways, I’m kinda veering off, from personal experience, it will get better sometimes things just don’t work.

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