mod edit:no drug,or alcohol abuse stimulation please. Maybe you need a boost in self esteem? I know that’s what my problem is.the way i did it was just to do it basically. you have to cross this line, kind of an emotional barrier. keep doing it and it will come more naturally. once you start [...]

I am that close. Medication is failing me now and there are no other drugs available for my condition. I know what’s coming. I can’t stop these damn fucking thoughts coming through. Might be a cry for help but I have no intention of going back to where I was. Fuck this life.1-800-SUICIDE CALL NOW. [...]

I just spent all day on forums doing nothing and even the forums are moving slow. I just sat down when I got up and could not get moving. Even being online was unproductive. Now its 11pm on a Saturday but I am too tired to go out.Turn off your internet service for a month, [...]

Two days off, and I get caught up on the web till 6am. Fair enough but when he comes down knocking the door down and being rude it got to me. I asked him to repeat as he said it as he walked away. Just got worse…for those who don’t know I’m bipiolar- ultraradian/mixed manic/flashbacks/psychotic. [...]

-> came out of high school with good grades, bit socially deprived, very introspective -> went to first year university, had a blast -> partied a bit too much first year, felt vindication for studying so hard, and now I had a social life -> got a gf, the first person I’ve ever cared about, [...]