mod edit:no drug,or alcohol abuse stimulation please. Maybe you need a boost in self esteem? I know that’s what my problem is.the way i did it was just to do it basically. you have to cross this line, kind of an emotional barrier. keep doing it and it will come more naturally. once you [...]

I am that close. Medication is failing me now and there are no other drugs available for my condition. I know what’s coming. I can’t stop these damn fucking thoughts coming through.
Might be a cry for help but I have no intention of going back to where I was.
Fuck this life.1-800-SUICIDE
CALL NOW. Or go [...]

I just spent all day on forums doing nothing and even the forums are moving slow. I just sat down when I got up and could not get moving. Even being online was unproductive. Now its 11pm on a Saturday but I am too tired to go out.Turn off your internet service for a month, [...]

Two days off, and I get caught up on the web till 6am. Fair enough but when he comes down knocking the door down and being rude it got to me. I asked him to repeat as he said it as he walked away.
Just got worse…for those who don’t know I’m bipiolar- ultraradian/mixed manic/flashbacks/psychotic.
Was I [...]

-> came out of high school with good grades, bit socially deprived, very introspective
-> went to first year university, had a blast
-> partied a bit too much first year, felt vindication for studying so hard, and now I had a social life
-> got a gf, the first person I’ve ever cared about, she was in [...]