I look through the receipt jar and find this…

Look a little more closely…

This leads me to a search under the bathroom sink, turning up a POSITIVE test she had stashed in the back of the cupboard.

Why hasn’t she told me? Should I tell her I know? Suprise her with flowers? Let her tell me when she wants?

wtf?!? I’m not sure what to do.
shit tests are 18.00 now anyways man on a serious note she may be waiting for the right time to tell you i dont know wats the receipt dated in any case im not really sure what i would do definitly talk to her about it at some point but not sure what u would say
She probably bought one of those two or three packs. Hell, I would. I’d take test after test if one came back positive. SO would come home and there’d be a fucking pile stacked on the sink with me sobbing LOL.

In any case, give her her space. If she doesn’t tell you in a week, bring up how she’s acting a little weird, she seems stressed, letting her know you’re there for her.

Now I hate to be the one to ask this…but would your wife consider an abortion? She may be deciding if she wants to keep the child or not. Or maybe she’s waiting to get a blood test before telling you.

In any case, give her a little time and a little space. She probably has some stuff to work out with herself.
I concur with the above post on this. Give her time to tell you. Don’t pull it out of her because she might not be ready to let you know.

If she doesn’t let you know within a couple weeks, then bring it up. Heck, just ask her if she’s feeling all right and that she seems on the edge lately.
When’s the date on the receipt? Maybe she’s just waiting to tell you till she’s really really sure and has gone to the ob/gyn to have a blood test done. Have yall been planning/talking about/want to have kids?
If I were you I’d just wait a bit and see what happends. If this is a good thing for yall, she might be planning on telling you in some really cool/cute way so dont steal her thunder and ruin it.
If you havent been planning on having kids though, thats different, but I’d still wait a little bit to give her a chance to tell you.
I mean, its not like you guys have been abstinant and now you’re finding this, right? That’d be a whole different story.
the optimistic side of me says that she is planning a nice dinner or something with the surprise announcement

the pessimistic (driven by reading OT and it’s massive distrust of women in general) side says that she is hiding it for a reason

which would occam’s razor cover? the first one – she hid the test rather than threw it out – if she were unhappy about the test results, she would have destroyed all evidence.
My sister took a test, found out she was pregnant and then surprised her husband
Maybe she wants an abortion…in which case surprising her with flowers may not be a good idea.

Exactly. A lot of women (at least from what I’ve heard, I’ve never been pregnant) save the first positive pregnancy test they take as a ‘momento’ and sometimes include it in things like scrapbooks and babybooks.

.

I was going to say I doubt abortion is an idea since she saved the test. Women notoriously do that when they are excited over the baby. I bet she wants to surprise you….or is terrified and planning how to tell you.

Either way, I think surprising her would be a bad idea. Either wait or just excitedly say you found the test.
OH MY GOSH YOU’RE GOING TO BE A DADDY!!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Don’t tell her you know, otherwise you’ll never know if it’s someone else’s.
The receipt is from April 8th, two days ago. I checked.

I’m still torn. I can’t imagine why this would be a bad thing for her, but I don’t really know what she is thinking right now.

Oh man, it’s hard to keep my mouth shut.
Tell her this….

"Hey honey, you know, I ran into my old friend Chris’s ex-wife at the mall today. Did I ever tell you about him? One day on his way home from work, his car was pummeled by a diesel and he was killed instantly. His wife got the call about an hour later while she was at home planning a creative way to tell him that she was pregnant. She always said that her biggest regret was not telling him as soon as she found out. Perhaps if he would have known earlier, he wouldn’t have gone to work and would still be alive to see his baby. Wow! I couldn’t imagine living with that burden."
It’s not yours. Nah, I’m just kidding, but seriously, give it a week or two — see if she comes out with it, unless you don’t trust her and think she’d do something you’re worried about (Like abortion?).

Two whole days? Seriously dude, just wait. I’ve known girls who’ve waited a week past the first pregnancy test date to tell their husbands/SO’s.

winner!
I would imagine if she REALLY didn’t want you to know she would have gotten rid of the stick and shredded the receipt
She’s in the kitchen making dinner right now…

She thinks I don’t know. BUT I KNOW….

Oh yes, I know….

It’s really hard not to say something.
LOL you’re killing me. She’s probably waiting to see her gyno to make sure. Has she ever been pregnant before?

Hang in there Ace. oh, and act really surprised when she tells you Don’t blow it.

Occam’s razor says that she hasn’t told you because she doesn’t know yet.

Does anyone know if pregnancy tests turn positive if they sit too long?

Unless you put the test back in the exact same spot you found it in, she already knows you found it.

The test was just bought two days ago, and is nowhere near the expiry date (I checked). I put it back exactly as I found it. I did, however, keep the receipt for evidence.
I meant will a used test turn positive if it sits too long.

Doubtful. It responds to the presence of a hormone that is either there (pregnant) or not (not pregnant).

If the test is positive, it’s because the pregnancy hormone is in her urine, not from sitting with piss on it for a few days.

No they won’t.

Additional note for everyone: Pregnancy tests are 99.999 percent accurate, based on WebMD, Medline. If it’s positive, she’s pregnant. However, being the skeptic that I am, I would buy a second test and see a doctor for blood testing too.
Personally, I would hang back, enjoy the fact that you are going to be a father, but don’t attack her for not telling you. You never know she very well may be trying to think up some way to surprise you. Don’t fuck up something you’re not sure of.

Yes, they can due to evaporation lines.

Pregnancy test results are not reliable unless viewed within about the first 10 min.

what happens when she drinks it?

You can have a glass of wine while you’re pregnant.

That may be so but 99.9% of western women nowadays won’t touch any alcohol while preggo.

Eh, I doubt it’s that high a percentage. There are a lot of shitty ass mothers.

Most people are skeptical about this stuff anyway (wether they get the result they ‘want’ or not), which is why almost all pregnancy tests come in packs of two

Yeah, but it depends on what kind of test it is and what the symbols are. Some have a "-" for not pregnant and a "+" for pregnant, some have a "=" for pregnant and a "-" for not pregnant, some have a gd smiley for pregnant and a frown for not pregnant, so its hard to say they’ll "turn pregnant" if they sit too long – they just might not have the right kind of lines or something after that long…. but youre right they might not be accurate any more

Noted. I didn’t explain myself clearly. I meant there is evidence that you can drink a little bit and statistically not affect the baby but most mothers that are decent in the western world don’t care, don’t know and/or won’t touch it.

i strongly believe in a glass of wine a week while pregnant. its good for you

says vodka_lover

fixed
Just wait and see. Do something nice for her to show her you care about her. It might make her decision to tell you whats up a bit easier. If she is pregnant, she may be worried about your reaction or not know how to say it. As mentioned above, she could be considering abortion. If she doesn’t say anything in another week or so, or if your going to explode holding the secret, mention you’ve noticed she’s been acting odd the past little while and prompt her to tell you if anythings wrong.

Came in to post this. Seems everyone else missed it? Lol keep ups posted. My sister is having her baby sometime in the next week or two I am so excited

Maybe it was you who peed on the stick and it turned positive so you have testicular cancer?

(joke)

Let us know how it goes. I hope there isn’t anything sinister behind it

Good thing I’m up north then.

It’s prob not a bad thing, unless she thinks you might think it’s a bad thing. But I’m sure, as mentioned before, she is just waiting to surprise you.

Dude, he didnt mean western as in California or Texas
she could be cheating on you and doesnt want to tell you cause she thinks the baby isnt yours or is not sure either way.
Any updates on this man? we’re all hanging off our seats
She’s hiding it from you because she doesn’t want to get an abortion.

So the longer she waits without telling you, the less likely an abortion becomes.

It pisses me off how many guys are just total doormats — you are letting your woman get away with LYING and deceiving you.

Whatever, it’s too late for you, clearly she already has your nutz in her purse if this is acceptable behavior. Congrats daddy, no go chain yourself to a desk because you are going to be giving up your paycheck for the next 18 years.
UPDATE…

I asked my wife point blank, and she said she was just waiting to make sure. Later that day, she went to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office, and started bleeding while she was there.

She WAS pregnant, now she isn’t.

Sucks.

I’m married for 5 years to her, with her for 8 before that, own a condo and both have 2 good, full-time jobs.

We are more than capable and ready to handle a baby.

She has had a miscarriage before, and didn’t want to get anyone excited, and it turns out she was right to do so.

You are an idiot.
I’m so sorry. That’s heartbreaking.

I hope that you are successful when you’re ready to try again.
Oh no, that’s devastating. How are you both coping with it all?
We are doing OK. It’s time to see some specialists and see if there is some sort of issue that is causing her to miscarry.

She’s had at least 2 miscarriages, and thinks she may have had a third between the other 2.

A few people we know who had similar problems went through some sort of anti-biotic therapy for the woman, which apparently helped them a lot.

We’ll see…
I’d probably fall apart if that had all been happening to me, I’d just completely die inside.

If she’s turned a kind of crimson colour with the hugs she could probably do with a little more squeezing, go for a nice bright purple.

Have you had any children together before?

No children, just bad luck.

Thanks for the well-wishes guys!
Hopefully the specialist will be the barer of ‘this is easily fixable!’ news.
Here’s hoping your luck turns around.

Dot!
Yeah. It’s not like the parts don’t work at all, it’s just that the embryos haven’t remained viable.

Got my fingers crossed…

Why would you even consider your wife cheated on you if you have been together that long.

My wife had a miscarriage and was put on Progesterone supplements when she got pregnant the next time. Basically she just had a lack of progesterone development which means that the embryo wouldn’t attach correctly and therefore become unviable.

Best of luck
My aunt went through the same thing. She and my uncle tried for about 10 years while married, went through treatments….came out in the end with two healthy little boys.

Good luck. Hope it turns out well for y’all

wtf are you talking about?

Good info. Thanks!

We need all the hope we can get! Thanks!
Everyone who prays is praying for you, everyone who wishes is wishing for you, and everyone who smiles will smile at the thought of your dreams coming true.

I’m in a mushy mood *shh*
So so sorry to hear this My prayers are with the both of you

Dont give up hope man. My sister had 2 miscarriages. She is now on baby #3 and actually due tonight/tomorrow! It was rough for our family for a while but now shes going to have a healthy baby boy!
Oh God, that’s so terrible. I’m sorry things turned out that way. I agree with the above, miscarriages are never a certain sign that you won’t be able to have a baby. Good luck.

Holy sugary-teeth-rotting-sweet batman. I think I just became a fuckin’ diabetic thanks to you, shit, where is my insulin?!

even after my wife would test positive with an at home test, she still went to the gyno to get tested.

i take it this wasn’t a planned pregnancy? How do you feel about having a child?

edit: oh wow, sorry.

My aunt and uncle had a similar experience, but came out with 4 boys and a girl.

OP: best of luck as you two move forward with whatever treatment they give you.
My mom had two miscarriages before she had me..then six years later she had my little sister. I’m in my 20′s and my sister and I are both healthy and happy. Best of luck you will be in my thoughts.
I know it’s a bit early now that y’all are just now starting to talk to doctor’s about possible conditions and treatments…but have y’all discussed adoption at all? You should probably at least begin that conversation.
After reading the first few pages I was about to say that some women think that it is just them that get pregnant and end up taking weeks to tell their partners that they are pregnant. Some buy personalised beer with labels, others t-shirts and what not. I don’t understand it. You both fall pregnant, it shouldn’t be hidden from the dad at all – unless of course there is bad blood and then you ask why are you sleeping with the guy.

Then I read further and that sucks I think your wife should have let you in on it. Regardless of wanting to be sure or just seeing what happened, she should of let you share the joy and the pain with her.

Good luck in the future
i came in to post that if the test shows shes pregnant she can still get her period.

My gf’s friend thought she was pregnant and told her bf who flipped out on her saying if she keeps it they ruined there lives (17/18 lol) But she apparantly got it.

I’m so sorry to hear that

I hope you get a little Jr. in the future!

It has been talked about, and neither of us are really sure what we think of the whole idea. It’s not something to enter into without being fully committed to the idea.
BTW, thanks for all the well wishes! It really is appreciated.

Good luck finding someone to take you seriously.
My wife had 2 miscarriages before being able to carry the baby full term. We are due on May 4th.

The thing about the miscarriages that just drove me up the wall is that I couldn’t find anyone that was willing to look into WHY she had 2 miscarriages back to back.

Even the most compassionate doctors just shrugged there shoulders and were like, ‘Thems the breaks.’.

A lot of things make me happy about this pregnancy, but the short of it is I don’t know if I could have taken a 3rd or a 4th miscarriage.

I’m glad y’all have at least talked about it a bit. Communication is key with situations like this. Wish y’all the best!

This is not the main forum.

My bad.. i didnt realize. sorry, hopefully everything works out.

Oh wow, dodged bullet.

My husband and I went through a similar experience having multiple miscarriages and nobody could tell us why. We’re both relatively young and healthy, all the parts worked but it just wasn’t happening. We gave up trying for awhile because it was starting to get so frustrating and depressing. About 2 years later we got totally surprised . I went to the Dr. because I felt a lump in one of my breasts, they hurt so bad and I thought I had cancer or something terrible,(never had any of the normal pregnancy stuff like nausea, this was my only symptom) but instead I found out I was actually pregnant with our adorable little boy Jake. He is happy, healthy and the spitting image of Daddy.

Good luck to you and your wife.

i was hoping for a happy update but i will send positive thoughts yalls way. there are lots of things to try to help get pregnant. all the best for yall.

READ the update!
at least she’s eating healthy

@ best buy cheese

Im sorry to hear this mate. Remember, MOST women have at least one miscarriage, and many women have several, before they have a baby. Hang in there.
Been there about three months ago dude. Miscarrying is rough all-around. Like you mentioned, most women have had a miscarriage in one way or another in their life. Most don’t even know it.

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Met this wonderful girl back in 2005, when i met her I knew she was the one, never ever ever felt that strong for someone, and that connected right out of the gates. 06 was a hard year, i got in a terrible car accident, lost my job, and started to head into depression. She stuck with me through it all going above and beyond.

2007 was the worst, i had family members die in a plane crash, one die from cancer, finishing up my last year in college had me under some stress, and the depression that started at the end of 06 was full fledged in 2007. I was under different medications that made me act in various ways, and still she stuck with me eventhough i wasn’t the nicest and became very selfish. (we broke up march 07, but planned to work things out)

08 comes I finally felt like I turned the corner, planned to ask her to get back together on new years eve, as a great surprise. She completely stood me up, and wouldn’t answer her phone or anything of that nature.. I sent her a pretty pissed off email which she said kept her from calling me back. I don’t see her for two weeks, when we do we get in a huge argument she leaves calls me a few days later and says she doesn’t want to try things anymore.(first week of feb)

I convinced her to spend time with me for valentines day and we did, things were great for the next week and a half, she asked me if i wanted to get back together with her, I said idid but that i wanted to give her a few more days to make sure things were right for her. (bad mistake i guess)

4 days later she said she couldn’t try with me anymore, and no longer wanted to get back together..

*side notes*
She is now going through depression, which I feel is a result of having to deal with me, and her giving her all trying to help me out. Her family hates me (interacial situation) her friends are telling her to move on, she is planning on going back to school in DE, and I am planning to move to Co.

She says the reason she didnt show up for new years, and started acting weird afterwards was because she had a miscarriage and felt like she couldn’t talk to me about it, (because of the arguments and issues we had going on at the time) and started hating me for that reason.

She still says she sees us together down the road, hopes we can get there, still loves me etc etc. Also stated that she needs to find herself, meaning she feels as if she is in my position from 07, and does not want to put me through what I put her through. She wants space from me now, and I can’t handle the space… We used to talk 3-5 times a day phone, email, text whatever. Now it is just dead silence, she has a lot of new "friends" and i feel like these new guys have replaced me in her life.

I know i should move on, even with her saying she sees us together in the future, but I still feel like this is worth fighting for. We just spent this past weekend together thurs night till sunday, went out all over town things were great, better than when we were together.. I feel as if that was our last weekend together ever.

Toss me some advice please OT…
I think it’s really time for you to move on even if you believe it’s worth fighting for. You two will be moving away, and it’s only going to make it harder on the relationship. Good luck

Let me break this down for you. THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN. YOU WILL 99% chance NOT END UP TOGETHER.

Her family and friends dislike you, what she is doing says she doesn’t like you…

She’s just trying to be nice and give you an answer to make you go away, and leave her alone. Hence the nice "she still loves you, sees you being together, but needs to find herself first". She may actually find herself, but you are NOT in the big picture.

She’s hoping that by telling you "not right now" you’ll go on, live your life, find someone else, and move on and forget about her.

Get it now?

Yeah that was my initial thought when she first stated it around the start of feb. I straight up asked her if she wanted me to go away, if she was just playing nice to not hurt my feelings etc..

she says no she really does want something…. although it does seem like her answer is starting to change.

And as far as that moving away thing goes, we were both going to move to Co, till this came up, so now we may possibly be moving apart, i’m trying to see what is going to happen in the short run to see if i should move out there or stay near her to see what will happen.. All in all I feel like a big dumbass in this situation, I broke up with her, I hurt her (even if i didnt know what was going on during my depression) now i lost a wonderful girl, and i feel like she is just putting up with me.

I know i should leave her alone but i do not know how to, everything in my life crosses her path in some form.
You need to handle the space, you need to get friends to replace her. Eventually she may come to talk to you herself or she may never talk to you. Either way, you need to keep moving in life.

The best answer to this is to convey indifference. Whenever you see her, ignore her. Simple. It sounds easy but it’s going to be very hard. If everything in your life crosses with her, just ignore her.

yeah I will try.. She asked for space starting last monday, then she talked to me in some form every day since then.. Then told me again this past weekend she wanted space, and proceeded to call me monday, and has emailed me a few times today here at work..

Its like I keep getting tugged in different directions.. I almost feel like if i ignore her that will kill whatever chance I have left.

Well maybes its a different type of space. Maybe she wants space from talking the way you used to. Maybe she wants to talk to you normally but not in-depth. If you get my meaning.

Just treat her the same way she treats you. If she sends you a email, send one back, but don’t get enthusiastic and send lots.

Or you could take the risk and try ignoring her a couple of times, that should give her the "space" she needs.

Evidently she’s confused. She wants space and she wants to talk.

yeah i feel she is confused also. Thank you for the advice keep it coming if you can think of anything else.

this isn’t my biggest concern, but my biggest problem right now is thinking about her and dealing with this situation is crippling me at work, I am not really getting anything done, and I haven’t been ontime in like 3 weeks.

I really need a way to cope, and my current friends don’t seem like a worthwhile alternative.

Think about how much better you’ll feel when you get your shit together at work. Yeah, the situation is a bitch, but no reason to let her weigh you down in other aspects of your life. Why aren’t your friends a worthwhile alternative?

Seems like everyone is going through some kind of major event at the same time, and at the moment I feel like dating someone else is out of the question. (i’m 26 and everyone is 24-30ish)

my first gf used to tug my emotions around as well; one day being very close and saying how she couldn’t be happy with out me and the next day way distant and hanging around other guys. I didn’t know wtf I was doing so I stayed with that way too long; this road only gets more painful.

Put it this way, this is one of the worse situations to be in, and her doing this only makes you more invested in her. You’re constantly trying to figure out what you need to do to get her back, whether you said the right thing, how to play the game right…all for a girl that doesn’t deserve your time. What eventually helped me get over my ex was no contact; I became a horrible childish asshole in her eyes but a month of not talking to her when I saw her in the three classes we shared made all the difference. Just remember you’re worth having a fulfilling relationship, and if she’s willing to let you go, her loss. Just make it a clean break.

You need a holiday.
You need to join a sports club.

That way you’ll make new friends. Head over to the gym, workout or join a basketball club. Take your mind off things.

Yeah a clean break is going to be really rough, she has been my life for three years, and my idea of my future was based around/involved her.

I have been working out a lot more lately.. and thinking while working out pisses me off more and gives me more workout motivation heh.

a future she has made obvious that she doesn’t want to be a part of, you just can’t see it, we all can. Break it off now and start the healing process, this is just going to get dirty and you’re going to be hung up on her for months.

However I was in the same spot and didn’t end it when it needed to be, so I understand that as well. Good luck man
Yeah, I guess she doesn’t want me to be a part of her future.

**Update***

I sent her an email yesterday, (short version) just letting her know I will be thinking about her ( she is having two surgeries, one is on friday) and to call me if needed.

She replied but only to selective parts of the email.
She called me, but I had left my cell phone at home ( to keep myself from calling her)
I then called her back, and she sounded annoyed and was wondering why I called. Then her "mom" called (she never used to talk to her mom a lot, all of a sudden every time we talk her "Mom" calls or needs her or she has to go meet with her "mom" I know it’s b.s /another guy/an excuse to get away.) so she had to go, but would call me right back… well an hour later she called.. and I didn’t answer (left no voicemail)…

Seriously, I am struggling to not talk to her right now, tried movies, exercise, calling old friends, going out, spending time with this girl that is head over heels for me, but nothing takes my mind off of it. (Yes we are both in our mid 20′s) And I know this part sounds retarded, but she then (later that night) left a comment on my myspace saying a picture of mine was cute, so that has my thoughts all over the place.

This shit is rough, I feel bad for not calling her back, because I find it rude not to call someone back. I feel like a dumbass for sending her the email, and calling her back the first time. My goal for today is not to respond to anything she says, I have a feeling she won’t even attempt to contact me though, and that hurts enough on its own.

actually, I’d bet you’ll hear from her occasionally. She doesn’t want to be with you, but she loves the thought of you pining away for her. So she’ll call/email/text every once in awhile just to keep you thinking about her and wanting her.

She’s already doing it.

A few weeks ago Id say I don’t think she’s capable of something like that, since she was always so honest and loving.
The more you want her, the less she wants you.

The less you want her, the more she wants you.

Well now that you put it in perspective…

just joking with you, yeah i know.. that’s the way it goes sometimes.

you’ll soon learn that every person is capable of it. in my experience women can be the vicious ones at the end of a long term relationship. it makes me wonder whether she loved that specific man she was with, or just a man in general. I guess I’ve seen more relationships fail than not where it seemed that the woman considered the man disposable, and was able to move on quickly.

I understand that, and her friends voices in her head probably didnt/don’t help the situation.
Sorry I need to bring this back. I really can’t get my ex out of my head, and she is now saying she wants to try again, meaning try to start over and move forward. We spent last weekend together and nothing negative happened..

The only thing that doesn’t add up is she says she wnats to move forward etc etc.. and she i guess is forgetting I have her email password and i checked yesterday and she just signed up for this like local singles website.. but had herself listed as not looking yet. She said she was just looking for new friends…..

damn I love this girl so much I feel like I am being a big fucking retard though. Second chance and benefit of the doubt? or when in doubt kick the bitch out?
I know what its like to lose a long, meaningful relationship, and I’ve been through a bit of what you are going through as well. I’ve gotten past that, but only through distance and not talking with her anymore.

From what I’ve been reading, she has always had the control of the situation. What you need to do is take control of the situation yourself.

I don’t know if this is good advice or bad advice, so take it with a grain of salt; but if I were in your particular situation with the same feelings, I would give it one more chance, and one chance only. I would tell her straight up that this going back and forth so much is killing me and I can’t take it anymore, this is the last chance I am giving for the relationship.

If it doesn’t work out, or she says no thanks, she never wanted anything strongly enough to begin with. I would cut all ties, change my phone number, my email, and try to get a fresh start in that area of my life.
I know this is hard but you must let her go and get her out of your life. She keeps stringing you along and hurting you. it really isn’t worth the mental damage shes inflicting on you. Also, having her email password isn’t the best idea in the world. You could have found something much worse than her registering at a singles site.

I have been in your shoes and what drove me over the edge was me realizing what she was doing. I erased her number from my cell, changed numbers and moved out of where I was living. It isn’t easy but what in life is?

Don’t do it. She doesn’t really want to "try again, get back together and move forward". IF SHE REALLY WANTED THAT, SHE WOULD HAVE DONE IT EARLIER.

It’s been, what, 2 weeks since you two broke up?

SHE’S FEELING LONELY. THAT’S IT.

If you did try to get back together, it would last about 3 days before she got tired of you again.

STAY AWAY

Oh yeah, lose her email and password, or email her back and ask her to change it. You have absolutely NO business going through someone’s email.

I know, I shouldn’t have done it.. she originally gave it to me she said so i could look and see that she was always telling me the truth.

I know.. i just thought she would have enough respect for me to not string me along, or tell me… I have confronted her about it and she swears she isnt.

She has had control the last two months, before that everything was on my terms.

You are all correct… It’s just hard to let go when someone is saying everything you want to hear.

I was about to change my phone number but I have recently been applying for jobs.. and I am disconnecting my landline, so I listed my current cell as the contact number so I’m kind of stuck there.

So she is basically setting you up to check up on her. Listen, there is either trust or there isn’t. Giving someone private info like that just screams "I’m insecure! Check up on me! Validate me for being good!"
One of the things you need to ask yourself is if she is saying everything you want to hear because she means it or if she is saying it just because thats what she knows you want to hear. I think if you really sit back and think about it you’ll come up with your answer. Use her past actions as a guide to her behavior. You also have to understand yourself. You don’t want to believe that she would be stringing you along because you want to believe that the girl you fell in love with wouldn’t do something like that to you because she cares for you. I’ve been there and I think most of the people here giving you advice have too. Its not easy letting go of someone you had strong feelings for but you need to sit down and really figure out if all this anguish and pain you are going through, this emotional roller coaster is really worth it.

true true. Well starting sunday I will try to make a clean break

would only be worth if if i could see the future and saw that we found a way to get past it and be normal. But I can’t.
I called her today, told her I can’t do this.. had a 2 hour convo. During the convo, she pretty much indirectly made it clear that everything you guys said about her keeping me around was true.

So I’m glad I called her to end this. Now how to keep myself from calling her when i feel alone.

Tip of advice: Nest time this happens, don’t talk to the girl for two hours. Call, say "it’s over" and hang up.

What was some of the crap she was most likely spewing?
Read; enjoy and move on…

—————————————————–
Being dumped sucks.

It is rarely a good experience – no matter how long you’ve been going out, what the nature of your relationship was, or how it ended. The very idea that someone does not want to spend his/her exclusive time with you is a pretty big blow to the ol’ ego.

I have been dumped on many occasions for many reasons, for over a decade. I understand that there are many who have never had a girlfriend, many on their first relationship, and many more with little experience with being dumped. Take my advice as you will, but I can guarantee you that when the day comes (and it probably will), you will be better prepared for it, and hopefully won’t end up being a huge whiny turd.

I give to you:
xxxxxxxx’s guide to being dumped, and taking it like a champ.

Rule 1: The relationship is over.

This is the most important rule of all. You need to go back to it at least once every minute in the aftermath of being dumped. It is the most difficult part, yet it is also the foundation for healing. The day you come to terms with it, is the day things start getting better.

In my experience, there are three basic parts to being dumped: Premonition, dump, after-dump.

Premonition
I have been dumped, and have dumped, lots and lots of times. There has never been an instance where it is random. For every single relationshp, from shortest (2 days) to longest (3 years), there has been a period of time where the breakup is planned. For the person about to get dumped, this period is called premonition. I have always felt a breakup coming, and it is physically a worse feeling than the breakup itself. There is little communication between the couples, an intense feeling of uncertainty, and a strong desire to make it better. The longer the premonition stage lasts, the more apt you are be stupid.

Things to avoid:
Do not go beyond the bounds of your relationship. Don’t start saying, "I love you" if that’s not what you normally do.

Resist the urge to sulk. Do whatever it takes to get your mind away from it. Get the fuck out of bed, go to the gym, go for a walk, find some friends, smoke some pot, do whatever it is that you do to de-stress.

Do not start screwing around. The relationship isn’t over yet. You might get yourself into some serious trouble.

Don’t beat her to the punch, unless you had plans already.

Things to do:
Hey, here’s an idea – talk to her. "Hey, what’s going on with us, things have been kind of wierd lately." Sure, it might lead to breaking up faster, but that’s the point. If it’s going to happen, might as well not torture yourself.

Try working things out. I know, If you really care for the relationship, and she’s not cheating on your sorry ass, there’s room for work. I’ve found that the best times I’ve had were after we’ve worked things out.

Dump

RULE 1: Get ready to go through the 5 stages of loss:

*Denial
*Bargaining
*Anger
*Despair
*Acceptance

It might not happen in that order, it might not involve all the stages. Chances are you’ll experience at least 3 of them, the most popular being bargaining, anger and despair.

*Denial – Try your best to avoid it. Denial doesn’t help resolve anything, makes the whole process very difficult. Remember rule 1.

*Bargaining – Might as well give it a shot. There might be some things that you can reasonably change in the relationship. Give it up after a good shot at it. If it’s over, it’s over.

*Anger – Yup, you’re pissed. Get over it.

*Despair – This is where the crying begins. Now is the time to NOT be pathetic. There’s nothing wrong with crying, but don’t make her feel bad for you or pity you. She’ll only be pissed. There is little sympathy when it comes to being dumped, so don’t play that card. More on this in the post-dump section.

*Acceptance – Time to let go, man. REMEMBER Rule 1.

Here’s a quick scenario as to how the whole thing might look:

Girl: Things aren’t working out.
Boy: Are you sure? I thought things were fine.
Girl: No.
Boy: Well, is there anything we can do to make things better?
Girl: I just don’t want to be in a relationship anymore.
Boy: But you were the one who wanted to be in one in the first place! Who put you up to this? Is there another guy? I’ll fucking kill him.
Girl: [insert despair]
Boy: [insert despair]
Boy: Well, if this is what you want, and if this feels right, and there’s nothing I can do or say to change it, then we might as well let it happen.

See? That wasn’t so bad. This is a really good time for some Q and A, especially since you’ll want to know some of the answers in the post-dump phase. Here is a short list of questions you should ask now, while you’re still communicating:

*Is there anything I can do to make this relationship work?
*Is there anything I could have done to make things better?
*What made you decide to do this?
*Is there someone else involved?
*Is there anything I can do to avoid pissing off future girlfriends?
*When did things start to suck? What caused it?

This is a very short list, and you should tailor it to your needs in the premonition phase. If you can get all your important questions answered, it will make life easier in the next phase.

***Also, be sure to indicate that you don’t want to see/talk to her for a while. This is KEY. More on this in the next section.

Post-Dump

Nearly a decade has taught me one important thing: This is a very long phase. You need to accept this.

Ok, you just got dumped. Let the emotion out the best way you know. Cry if you have to, beat the shit out of something, go for a run. Be a man, and find someone to give you a hug. Talk it through with your close friends (not hers). Set some kind of time limit. Say to yourself, "I’m going to be a pile of emotional shit for the next hour, then I’m going to start picking myself up." Stick to it, if you’re a sulking mess for too long no one is going to want to hear about it.

Inform your friends. People ought to know to be careful around you. If they care about you, they’ll help you cope. Put away blatant reminders of her – her pictures, her underwear, her lifesize blowup doll etc.

Go out, live life normally, DO NOT DO ANYTHING RASH. Joining the Army doesn’t help, running away doesn’t help!!! you won’t get her back if you get into a car accident/attempt suicide, you certainly won’t get her back if you vandalize her property. Don’t fuck her sister/friends, don’t go beating up some kid who you think might be her new boyfriend. Use Rule 1 folks, it really puts things into perspective.

Just go on with your life. That’s the only thing you can do to really take it like a champ. There’s a huge list if things you shouldn’t do, because they’re very annoying, and you’ll feel stupid about it later.

Spend lots and lots of time away from her. This is actually a strange situation. Say you spend 4 months away from her and are feeling great. The next time you see her, it’ll take you back about 2 months. Then you’ll recover, and the next time you see her it’ll take you back 1 month. Then 2 weeks. Then 1 week. See what I’m getting at? Recovery is a long process, and there will be setbacks. Don’t think it’ll be peaches and cream the first time you see her with another guy. Try to avoid her socially until you’re certain things are ok. This may take months or years. Rarely weeks. This is why avoidance is key. You don’t need to go out of your way to avoid her, just let her know that for a while, you don’t want to see her.

Don’t play the pity card. Yes, you’re upset and hurt and heartbroken. Tell it to your friends, not to her or her friends. Avoid putting up depressing away messages, profiles, blogs, or anything of the like. Understandably, you want her to know how much she hurt you. It does you little good to do that, remember rule 1? Don’t go to the same party as her and sit in the corner looking all depressed. She’s not going to want you back, you pansy.

Don’t go visit her. First of all, it will hurt like a mofo. Secondly, girls are evil and will do shitty things like hug you, cuddle with you, tell you how much they miss you, or hit you with pepper spray. Rule 1 – it still applies. She doesn’t want to be with you, just wants to make herself feel a little better. If she wants to come back to you, she’ll call you up and say so. Being around her is most likely going to annoy her and make you feel really shitty. Girls have also been known to employ the use of a guy named Todd, who is only there to make you turn emo.

Don’t start looking for answers. If you’re smart, you already asked them when you two were breaking up. Don’t call/IM/email/fox her friends. Yes, they’re close to her and they know what’s going on. Chances are, they won’t tell you what you need to know. They’re her friends first, yours second. I’m letting you know now – if you do take this path, you will find out nothing of any use. Do you really want to know if she’s seeing someone else? Do you really want to know if she is in bed crying because she misses you? Back to Rule 1. She’s going through her own healing process, she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. Let it go, man. Her friends will report their findings to her, and she’ll hate you for snooping.

On a similar note – DON’T FUCKING STALK HER.

The above is the basic foundation for taking a dumping like a champ. There are many little nuances that I can’t remember and didn’t cover, so be prepared for anything. The only thing I can guarantee is that life will get better and you’ll move on.
—————————————————

Pay particularly close attention to the post-dump section. And never forget about rule number one.

I was in a 6 year relationship that ended ~2 months ago. I’ve followed this advice and cannot believe how good I’m doing right now.

Hope this helped.
The best "revenge" is living well.

/thread

Quoted for truth.
Success will be the best revenge . . . go fuck 10 girls, then tell me you still miss her.

Girl one so far = massive epic fail.

I have been more of myself the last week or so. I still get down every once in a while.. took her number out of my phone.. she calls me and emails me out of the blue.. with I miss you and I love you and etc.

Its starting to piss me off.. I’m like you miss me? want to hang out? her: "oh no im busy, no i’m going out of town etc.." Me: quit lying then.

Good read, everyone kind of said different parts of this maybe not all of it.. but sometimes I guess it just matters on how the info was presented, as to how it will be received..

I don’t remember the last time I posted. I think it has almost been a week, I took two weeks off from work, went to visit the folks, hanging out with some friends.. exercising, long walks, etc.. can’t find anything that makes me happy, just trying to find something to fill the time.

I am normally a pessimistic/bitter person so she is creating her own private hate-filled spot in my heart. I am starting ot see the games, and seeing how she comes to me for attention.. maybe she does care.. if she does she is going about it the wrong way..

Anyways.. thanks for checking back/posting more in my thread.. I will check back again.

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My relationship with my current guy is more than a little messed up, even I admit it. There’s numerous people telling me that I should just ends things, which I understand their reasonings (and explains their answer to the question) but at the same time, I’m not ready to just throw in the towel and neither is he.

Yesterday, while he was over, while we were having sex, I started bleeding – a LOT. There was deffinitely something wrong, but since I had no clue what it was, I told him I’d be fine, I’d call the Dr’s office and sent him to work. Less than an hour later, I miscarried, not even knowing I was pregnant. I had felt rather nauseated a few weeks ago, but other than that, NOTHING. I even got what I thought was my period on Wednesday, and even though it was light, I didn’t think anything of it. Apparently, I should have.

Anyway, this is the gross part, I kept the sack, because I didn’t know if the Dr’s office would want it to do a pathology report or not (they do and they are doing one, today). After it passed, I got extremely ill, shaking, weak, fatigued, cramping, etc. I followed Dr’s advice and just rested. I called a couple of friends because I needed someone to talk to about this. When I asked if I should tell my guy, 2 guys said no. 2 Gals said yes.

When my guy got off work, he called me immediately because he was concerned. When I told him I didn’t want to talk about it over the phone, he came right over without any hesitation. When he got here, he could tell I was in a lot of pain and he wanted to know what the Dr said. When I hesitated, he started making guesses and finally I told him what happened. He was very genuinely concerned and upset. Not upset with me, but upset that he wasn’t here when it happened.

When I asked him if I made a mistake telling him, he said no. I dont’ think I did either, but it got me wondering and I can’t stop.

Guys – if your SO had a miscarriage for a pregnancy she didn’t even know she was carrying, would you want to know?

Gals – if you had a miscarriage with a pregnancy you didn’t realize you were pregnant with, would you keep it to yourself?

I never realized how both physically and emotionally draining something like this is on a person. I honestly hope I never have to go through this again.

Oh, and we were using condoms, but nothing else, which is probably how I got pregnant in the first place. I’m scheduled for an IUD placement next week, but that may have to be postponed, I still have to ask about that. AND I have to have an Ultrasound performed to ensure that there’s nothing left from the baby.
I can understand why the guys said no, in really bad relationships if they feel you have a non-caring partner who doesn’t give a damn what happens to his girl or on wether she would get pregnant or not it wouldn’t make an effin difference to tell the uncaring person.

But you know for you your relationship might be rocky , but you’ve got a guy who at least has got a heart in his chest. That’s something you can feel happy about and that’s why it was a good thing to tell. And he also said he wanted to know, so that’s a good sign.

Yes, absolutely!!! After all, it’s my baby also and I would not only be concerned for my sig others health I would also be concerned about her emotional state.

Your SO and you have a difficult relationship but so what, he’s still human and still would have been the father. He deserves to know the truth.

Keeping something this significant to yourself will absolutely cause the end of the relationship because no matter what, you can’t simply forget about it.

I have no idea who these guys are that you call friends but they seem to be complete idiots that haven’t learned anything through dealing with real people but instead have learned everything from movies and TV. They are fucking idiots IMO…..I’m sorry if they are your friends but they don’t know shit.

Me too and I’m really sorry that you miscarried.

I would think that the potential for guilt for both of you would be VERY high. What I mean is that having sex killed your unborn baby. I don’t think that’s true because many people have sex while pregnant. I would suggest that you may want to seek some counseling to help deal with the emotional issues of miscarrying a baby.

I hope you’re ok. Take care of yourself.
yes i would have told as well
it’s only right that my partner knows what happens.

sorry about what happened and i hope you feel better

I agree, which is why I told him. He’s actually on his way over to make sure that I take it easy today, which isn’t easy with 2 dogs and a 3 year old.

Funny, that’s what he said too. He was all "OMG, I did this! It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have been so rough with you" yadda yadda yadda, but it’s not true, this probably would have happened anyway. I haven’t been taking care of myself. I’ve been drinking several times a week (not to the point of getting drunk, just a glass of wine or a beer in the evenings, I only got drunk three times in the last 2 months, granted, twice has been just this weekend), smoking, not eating right, stressed out. I’m too unhealthy currently to carry a baby anyway, so it’s a blessing in many ways.

But it still hurts. Weird, my soon-to-be Ex-Husband and I tried for a year to give our daughter a sibling and couldn’t get pregnant. Within the first two months of sleeping with my new SO, while using protection (I know, not 100% effective), I managed to get pregnant. Makes you wonder.

I’m going to go rest now, just got back from the Hospital, having the blood drawn and giving the "sample" over. I teared up when I had to do that, which isn’t really like me. I’m pretty tough.
I would want to know.

As for miscarriages… Don’t something like 50% of pregnancies result in miscarriage? I highly doubt it was anything either of you did – they just happen fairly commonly.

Edit: Yep. About 50%.

First of all,

Secondly, you need to tell him. Honestly, I know your relationship with him is far from serious (you call him your "boy toy," right?) and normally for that reason I would’ve said just skip telling him…but he knows you went to the doctor or more knows that you weren’t feeling well and asked you what was up. Just tell him what happened and that’s that.

It’s not as if you two were expecting or trying to have a baby so I doubt he’ll be crushed, but I dont think he deserves to be lied to either.
id want to know, just to be able to give comfort

and by letting him fuck you, you give him the ‘right’ to know, and if knowing is gonna fuck the two of you up, so be it

Very good point.

Actually, he’s ben VERY comforting, very compassionate and understanding. He asked me if I was going to take it easy today and when I said I’d try, he insisted on coming over and taking care of me. He actually just left and only left because he needed to focus and finish writing a paper for his Finance Class.

He’s been great since I told him last night. Very affectionate (some guys would be more standoffish, I’ve seen it happen), very calming. He took care of a bunch of things that I couldn’t do or couldn’t move fast enough for.

He even brought me flowers, he has NEVER brought me flowers. Coffee, yes, food, yes, a bottle of wine, sure, but he’s never brought me flowers. He brought 2 dozen pink roses (different shades) because he knows how much I like pink and because he couldn’t find Lillies, he went with Roses. Strangely, I think it’s brought us closer. We’ve talked a lot about our relationship and what we want.

At the same time, I feel so drained over this. And I have to work tomorrow
I would tell my husband if it happened to me. He would be concerned about me after the incident. Neither of us wants kids, so I dont think it would affect us much in that aspect.

Something would just feel wrong to me though if I kept something like that from him. Especially since we are married now and we should be honest with one another about serious / important things.

Yes, but this isn’t the person I’m married to (technically still married, it’s complicated). In fact, this guy and I were supposed to be keeping things light and casual, and it hasn’t been that way in a while. It’s deffinitely more serious then when it started, and what happened yesterday and today has made us both realize how much we mean to each other.

If it was my soon-to-be-Ex-Husband’s and we were still together, absolutely I’d tell him, there’s no question about that.
I was going to include that your relationship with the bf isnt as serious as a marriage, but I didnt want it to come out/sound wrong

It seems like something good came out of you telling the bf anyway – now you guys realize even more how much you mean to one another.
i think you did the right thing. that was definitely the mature decision.
I can guarantee you that having sex didn’t kill the baby, it was just a coincidence

I agree. He’s been terrific through this whole thing, calling to check up on me, emailing me constantly. He wanted me to leave work early today and was a little upset when I told him I wouldn’t, but he understood my reasons as to why I didn’t want to go, no matter how much pain I was in.

We spent all day yesterday, which was really nice. We talked about everything and anything, our relationship and what we want out of this, what we’re looking for, what we each need that we weren’t getting out of our last relationships.

I know it wasn’t the sex. I’m pretty sure drinking, smoking, extreme stress and not eating right were the higher contributing factors then rough sex. That and my Doc is pretty sure the baby had been lost a 1-2 weeks ago, just took time for my body to "abort" it, which is probably why she didn’t detect it during my annual exam.

All day today, all I’ve wanted to do was come home, curl up in bed and cry. This is completely awful and I hope I never have to go through this again.
can I hear more about what the physical aspect of miscarrying was like ? did your ‘period’ run its full course ? how big could the sack really be at that stage of pregnancy ?

It’s honestly very disgusting, but I don’t mind sharing.

I got my "period" on Wednesday afternoon, last week. Seemed to be going normal, fairly light for the first day or two. We had sex repeatedly Friday Night, and Saturday I had heavier bleeding, but not excessive. Again, a relatively normal period for me. The one thing I noticed that was different was the amount of bright red blood. My period is usually a darker red, but this was very bright. I didn’t think much of it.

Sunday, I had no bleeding. At all. It’s like everything just stopped. I’ve had times like that before, so I didn’t think much of it. When BF came over before work (I live close to where he works), we decided to have sex, only we were MUCH rougher than we normally are. About halfway through, he noticed I was bleeding. I didn’t think too much of it, as I wasn’t cramping and figured it wouldn’t be too bad. But then there was this huge gush (told you, it’s gross!) and we both looked at each other and was like "That’s not right". So we hopped into the shower, where the extremely bright red blood proceeded to drip down my leg. It fast, profuse and scary. Then I started doubling over in pain, which freaked him out. I was cramping very hard, which according to my girl friend who’s had 4 miscarriages in 3 years, is normal.

He had to be at work by a certain time, so I told him to go (we argued about it for a good 10 minutes before he agreed only if I would call the Dr’s office). I waited to call the Dr’s office because I wasn’t quite sure of what to make of all this.

Then when I went to the bathroom (I had to pee), I noticed something hanging half-in and half out. So, out of curiousity, I used toilet paper and very gently pried it out. What I found was a sack, about 3/4′s the length of my pinky, down to my second pinky-knuckle wide and it had a depth of my fingernail. The bleeding slowed down dramatically once the sack had left the uterus. At this point, I called the Dr’s office. They called me back almost immediately and told me what to do with the "baby" because he wanted to do a Pathology Report (I’m 26 and have had a pregnancy that ended in a premature birth), told me what I needed to do for myself and what they were going to do the next day. If I continued to bleed like I had been, then I was to report to the ER. But the bleeding practically stopped.

My body went basically into shock. My legs were weak, my entire body was shaking. Luckily, I never got hot or cold flashes (which would have resulted in an immediate visit to the ER). I could barely move and every time I tried to be "normal" or move normally, I would double over with abdominal pain. Whe BF got off owrk, he immediately called. He was originally supposed to go home and then go out with some friends, but when I told him I didn’t want to discuss it over the phone, he came right over.

I’m still bleeding (lightly, nothing abnormal for what I’ve just gone through) and I’m still having abdominal pain. I go in Thursday to get checked out again (they didn’t check me because at that point, there’s nothing they can do, they can’t prevent a miscarriage or spontaneous abortions until after week 22 of pregnancy).

Physically, it’s like going through labor when the embryo passes. You have cramping (actually, you’re contracting), bleeding, fatigue, everything that goes with giving birth. It’s physically and emotionally draining.

The Doc thinks that I actually conceived 6 weeks ago, but somewhere along the way, the embryo failed to properly attach and/or grow. The embryo was never released by my body for reasons yet unknown, until a few weeks after the embryo failed to thrive. I could have been carrying it around for up to 3 weeks already, never knowing, which is very VERY dangerous. I’m probably going to have to undergo some testing and be VERY careful with future pregnancies.

Oh, and if you’re really curious, I have pictures of it. I sent a couple to my friend because I was in such shock. She agreed it was very similar to the pregnancies she’d lost. She’s lost 2 after 8 weeks. She said it looked to her like I could have been as far as 6-8 weeks along, but again, we’re still waiting for the pathology reports to come back. My Hcg levels were low, but within early pregnancy ranges, which is why they think I lost the baby a while back, long enough for my levels to drop below where we could tell by the levels how far along I was.
My husband and I miscarried just before our last baby and I didn’t know I was even pregnant. It wasn’t a big deal for us, we are both pretty matter of fact people.

I wouldn’t hide the fact I had miscarried from my husband. If I wasn’t with a serious guy there is no way I would keep it from him either. It is his child as well and to remove that from him is selfish.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your description made me really sad. I hope you’re doing well.

Thank you, I really do appreciate that. I’m hanging in there.

I think one of the hardest parts has been trying to hide everything from my coworkers. I have a few people here at work that I consider to be friends, I see them outside of work, and they are all very concerned because they know something isn’t right, but it’s such a personal matter that I haven’t told many friends (don’t ask why I’d share with OT, I don’t get it either). I think there’s a total of 4 people who know other than BF and I.

I think that while I’m already healing physically, the emotional toll this is going to take on me is going to be the hardest part. I feel like my body betrayed me in some way (which BF insists is bullshit, and normally I would agree with him). You hear other women talk about how having a miscarriage makes them feel like less of a woman, and you go "Oh, that’s such pity-me bs", but truth of the matter is, that is EXACTLY how you feel. I feel soo empty right now, even though I didn’t know at the time. A baby is the last thing I need in my life right now, and yet, to have lost one hurts more than I thought imaginable. And its not even like I had any time to bond with the baby (I started bonding with my daughter practically from the moment I found out I was pregnant).

ive never experienced anything like this, but it sounds very sad. for what its worth, i think you did the absolute right thing by telling the guy. and he obviouisly cares about you a lot based on his reaction. im glad he is there for you right now because you need that extra support.

Fuck em….tell them, don’t tell them. It’s totally your choice and if anyone thinks less of you for wanting to keep something so personal, personal…they aren’t your friends and you don’t need them anyways.

I can only imagine how difficult this would be for me. If I were in this position, I would start going back to therapy immediately because it would no doubt bring up all sorts of issues with me.

You know, I honestly believe there are mysteries about life and love and the universe that we’ll never fully understand. IMO some of these mysteries work to make things happen that at first appear really, really bad but upon deeper reflection turn out to be really, really good.

It just might be possible that your body didn’t betray you at all but actually acted to protect you when your will wasn’t sufficient. I don’t know if this is right or wrong, only you can know that for sure.

I know you don’t know me and have no reason to value what I say but I’m going to say it anyways……I don’t think you are any less of a woman because of this. I really don’t.

I would think this is quite normal….even if that doesn’t help ease the pain of your loss. Be good to yourself, you deserve it. You’re going through a rough time so it’s OK if things get a little weird….just try to take it easy and be kind to yourself.
Thank you everyone, you’ve all been very supportive and helpful.

I had a follow-up appointment yesterday and the Doc is a little concerned because I’m still extremely sensitive and in pain in my abdomin. I’m having an ultrasound on Monday to determine if I need a D&C (basically, a scraping). This will mean more recoup time, which I’m not looking forward too. I’m hoping everything goes fine on Monday. It’s also the same day that my daughter is having an outpatient operation, so it’s going to be a busy, stressful day.

In the meantime, people at work have finally stopped asking me (they realize I’m not going to say anything to them) and the SO and I are doing well. Quiet evenings, lots of talking, just doing well in general. Basically, I’m hanging in there.

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