When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
when 24 hours in a day is not enough
remember this recycled story:

"The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Beers"

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items
in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a
very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with

golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They
agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into
the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open
areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if
the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the
jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once
more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous
‘yes.’

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar – effectively filling the
empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are
the important things—your family, your children, your health,
your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else
was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your
house and your car.

The sand is everything else—the small stuff. ‘If you put the
sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the
pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your
time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the
things that are important to you.

‘Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Spend time with your children . Spend time with your parents.
Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take
your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to
clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls
first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The
rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer
represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’
The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.’
aunt lucy? you registered here?

since you’re going to post these here, can you please stop emailing them to me?

My dearest nephew, since you don’t write back and never visit

FUCK YOU!

XXOO,
Auntie Peg

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I go to the same club every saturday, it’s free and I know a lot of people. Me and a friend of mine are basically the dancers in the place. Not hired, not "technically", but….we dance. A lot. No BBAy, just hip-hop. I live in Atlanta, so do the math. The clubs we go to have stages. One upstairs has a big stage, down has 2 small side stages.

I’m white, he is black. This isn’t exactly important but….we gel together well and bounce off each other. I draw the most attention because…well…i’m white and know how to dance. I’m also 6’5" 190 so that helps.

The past few weeks i’ve been adding to my "skill set" and have gotten bigger and bigger crowds of people watching me and my friend dance. My issue is that I will notice, and spot, women staring all night and I won’t bother to approach and say anything.

Now, naturally, I am:

Short Tempered
Angry
Reserved/Slightly Shy

I am going through some anger management right now. Working on my temper. Like a waitress at my job said "I think you mean well and have a good heart, honestly….but you just suck at controlling yourself." She is right, to a T. Someone pushes me, i’m punching them. Someone talks shit to me, i’m punching them. My point is that for all the attention given to me, it should be easy for me to break this horrid 4 month sexless drought i’ve been in. I’ve considered contacting 2 of my previous fuck buddies, but I can’t bring myself to it. I find it so much easier to meet women when I end droughts, but right now, it’s the hardest drought ever.

Right now, I don’t want to find a date in a club. I just want to fuck. I’ve hit a wall. I don’t understand how I can stand in front of 30-40 people watching me dance while more then half are females, some waving and what not, and I won’t do a damn thing. If they come up on stage or stop me when I walk by, i’m fine. Over the last month i’ve gotten 3 numbers, I was just stood up each time.

I don’t really know what to expect from this forum as I don’t post here, but i’m not going to look for some PUA garbage on the internet. Honestly, I think this is more to do with my anger management than anything. Ever since i’ve taken a strong approach to controlling myself better 2 months ago, I’ve found it unbelievably difficult to be out going with people I don’t know unless you approach me. Before, I found myself more out going.

I’m lost.

Seriously. Thinking of this makes me angry and as I tell my friends, puts me into "beast mode" where I just want to look for a fight. I already expect to go into work @ 6PM tomorrow angry just by thinking about how I suck at approaching, or lack thereof, women.

Knowing how to deal with Anger and Girls are basically 2 different issues, and getting them under control is basically an art in its own.

You need to re-direct the anger into doing constructive things. Consider anger as extra energy that needs to be released. Hit the gym, go jogging,play golf or tennis so that you release that extra amount of steam
that you have stored inside of yourself. That way you build up muscle and release excessive anger while your at it.

When it comes to girls, dont go with them just for sex, although i understand you, i know that doing that stuff will just bite you back in the end. I firmly believe that you shouldnt play with human lives like that. Act like a man and be serious about what you do. Go with a woman for a serious relationship.

In terms of approuching them, stop thinking (what if this or that happens that will ruin it) , think like this

Its a win win situation, if you ask a girl out and she says no, then you can never blame yourself for not trying, if you ask her out and she says yes, then you ve got a date. Fear just imprisons you, and that causes the frustration that makes you angry.

I mean look at it, you fear to get rejected, as a result you dont get a date, and as a result of that you get angry. All this stuff is connected, so the moment you stop your fears, is also the moment you can stop your anger.

The best way to do this is the following, you know many people think too much when it comes to asking girls out. Just put your mind on zero and go for it.
I suck at giving advice but I just wanted to tell you something so hopefully you try to focus on the good side of things instead of on the bad side, because that’s all you’re doing.

Feel fortunate you have an ability to dance and draw attention, especially from women, and feel fortunate you know they stare. Feel fortunate that the waitress could see past everything and know you’re a good person. Not a lot of people nowadays have that ability.

Some people, like me, can’t attract anyone for shit and have no visible talents, and nobody appreciates whatever you have going on. And that, my friend, is what really sucks. Eight months without sex here.

I got a gym membership 2 weeks ago. Ive been wanting to gain weight and I also figured I would use it as some anger management control. I took 3 days off to let my body rest and heal, but thus far the management side and releasing stress and anger is slow.

I’ve basically hit a mental block period with PEOPLE in general. So when it comes to females, it’s 5 times worse.

I had my hopes set high for a blog, have a .com, OT Sports crew enjoyed reading it, traffic was slowly increasing.

Then I got really sick, a nasty sinus infection and I put it on the back burner until I got 100% so I could rest and relax and not sit on my computer all day typing.

The problem ever since i’ve gotten better is i’ve hit that mental block. Or, writers block. I havent logged into my site in ages because I can’t think of what to write. I can sit on OT and go off on a whim, but when it comes to jotting down subjects to type about for my blog I hit a road block.

My point….is it sucks.

I went on a date with a 39 year old, i’m 24. I figured I didn’t have much of a chance (this was a month ago) for a 2nd or 3rd date because of the age gap and I was right. The thing I took out of it was that I knocked the rust off as I havent been on a meaningful date in like 6…7 months prior. But, a week later, once again, mental block.

The sad part is it’s getting so bad i’m getting to the point of drinking alcohol more often then not, even at work, just so I can be more sociable with customers when i’m behind the bar (bar back, not a bartender). The only places I am in my groove where I can open freely seems to be a basketball court and a bar during a football game when everyone has the same agenda…to watch the game and meet people.

I’m brutally honest with people, there isn’t a lot of sugar coating going on when I talk to someone. But when I leave work or my house or a friends house and go to a bar, a club, the mall….I can see a girl, know what I want to do or say, not feel nervous, as I walk over i’ll forget shit. And even if I open my mouth and get 3 sentances out, i’m back to square one in 2 minutes as I hit a mental block of what I wanted to say and then it all comes back to me 2 minutes after I ran her off with silence. This happened on St. Pattys day, had a girl all over me but my mental blocks killed any chances of anything happening and I went home alone.
Not to be a dick but you only have one simple problem – although the solution is not at all easy or simple.

You are a slave because you can’t control yourself. I’m not going to sugar coat it with BS like "anger management", what you need to do is to control yourself. In the end, that is the only control any of us have and being a slave to yourself means that you are also a slave to others because it is extremely easy to control someone who cannot control him or herself.

Again, I’m not trying to be a dick or to shrug off your problems and concerns but this is the way I see.

I know I need to control myself, but trust me, people don’t control me. People at my work fear me. People at my school won’t even attempt to.

Small example:

I tell my boss i’m not happy with him scheduling me 3 days, I tell him if happens again im done working there. He says "fuck josh, i’ll give you what you want, 5 days? fine, just don’t shoot me."

Like I said, I couldn’t tell you the last time someone "controlled" me. It’s not because i’m afraid to see the truth, but because people know my mindset and I have the label of being a fighter in my group of friends.

When I enter my club, they will ask me "no fights today, ok?"

I hate it. But like you said, I can’t control myself. And I don’t know how to control myself.
i feel you on the no pua deal

my advice would be to stop masturbating

if you see women as your sole sexual outlet, everything should take care of itself

i used to have a horrible temper like you when i was younger btw

you can control yourself. you are choosing not to.
If you just want bedroom action from women, you already know what to do. I flipped out earlier this week, then went out with a buddy and I was back on the horse.

When I go into the spot, I always have approach anxiety on the first one. Then I flip the switch, and I talk to every woman I see and just run game on them. Just say whatever the fuck you want, whatever is on your mind. Don’t run the shitty, tired routines. Look at them in the eyes, realizing that you are about to give them the best viking fucking of their life. Get yourself thinking that you’re unstoppable. You can cut out at any time, just walk off.

You’re a fucking dancer. You have the moves to sweep the women up, so use it. Take control and own the room. Don’t do the PUA crap if that’s not you. Its not me, I just talked about what I wanted to on saturday night to 9 sets of women and went home with 4 numbers. I ejected early on every one because I’m not comfortable having sex today, maybe in a few days I’ll scoop one up and take her back to the house. You’re in control of everything you do with women once you harness what you already have, and use it.

good points.

I suck at PUA routines. I’ve tried them, i’ve spent hours reading up on them, doesn’t fit my personality. IMHO, PUA are general liars and bullshitters. I don’t know PUA and I make it a goal to not become friends or associates with them. I’m just to honest and up front to bullshit people.

I’m like you, I talk about whatever I want to talk about, I just change it up a bit with women.

Thing i’ve been working on is being more aggressive at bars and clubs with women. Instead of asking about what they are doing in a week, I ask what they are doing when they leave the club. I used to think that it came off stalkerish/scum baggish like, but I haven’t had any problems thus far. Just being stood up, but they don’t come off freaked out.

#1, I won’t stop masturbating. Not yet.

#2, i’m sure I can control myself. I just feel like it’s chemical related in my head. I don’t take meds, I don’t want to take meds. But even when I start to get pissed off about something and I start to talk myself out of getting pissed off or why I should calm down…I continue to get pissed off. If not double pissed off just because i’m trying to calm myself down. My friends know not to calm me down, it just pisses me off even more. And it always has a chemical/mindfuck feeling to it.

When I fight, I get tunnel vision. So,

this has been a good week as far as controlling my temper goes.

The problem is for every 2….3 good weeks I have of controlling myself, I run into a problem one night on the town, a fight, altercation, something….that sets me back 6 weeks.
I wish I had opportunities to meet women. All I ever do is go to school (tech school with like 95-98% male enrollment) and work. Plus I live in the middle of nowhere so its not like theres any big bars or clubs around

that must really suck. I need the big city.

You have to psych yourself up. If you can own the room, realize it, then its already been communicated, and you can stop asking women for phone numbers and dates, and start telling them.

We’re all liars and bullshitters, PUA guys are just fucking losers who need to find hobbies. However, you can learn from them. Imagine if you had the skills they do, and a real personality to go behind it.

Yea, thanks. That’s why I asked, maybe to have someone re-enforce this shit into my head. Like saturday I went to the club alone because all my friends pulled out and want to wait for my BDay Saturday. I considered leaving but I told myself I’ve been becoming to co-dependent. I won’t go to the club unless a friend is with me. so I went inside, and then by the 3rd song, sober….danced. Had a group of really ugly women never leave me alone, 2 ugly black women…never leave me alone…and some guy buy me a drink.

I hope this is a sign that I got the ugly women out of the way for my birthday party.

Either way, I do need to remember that I basically run the entire dance floor when I go to clubs. Even if I go to larger black dominant clubs, I run shit. I just need to stop being shy and go after females I see constantly staring.

I’m not one to diagnose myself, but from reading up on Bipolar definitions and cases on the internet, I don’t have it. I’ve also never seen a doctor. But I just don’t carry the normal bipolar tendencies. I think i’m more hateful than Bipolar people are.

It sounds to me like you’re overreacting to the possibility of being controlled by other people. Your boss tells you you’re only working 3 days and you want to work 5 days, that’s control — or rather, it could be percieved as control. I would say it is, since technically he gets to decide whether you work or not.

So I would suggest two things: 1) figure out who "the man" is that originally held you down, and deal with them directly instead of taking it out on everyone else, and 2) accept that you are one of 6 billion people and every single one of them has the capacity to end your life if they see fit, and try to keep them from wanting to do it.

Meh, i’ve been at my job for over a year. He gave newer people that work slower than me 4 days. I told him the last time that happened I quit, but an ex-manager convinced me to come back. I told him that if it happened again I will quit again, the only difference is I won’t come back.

He gave me 4 days this week, I also requested 4 days off, but he made me work saturday. I even told him this week is the exception to the rule because its my birthday weekend.

I’d venture to say finding some "ultimate" guy who has "held me down" will take years of therapy because there is no possible way I can think of some shit like that on my own while posting on OT.
Your description of your temper is exactly like mine is (especially the tunnel vision).

I learned to control it. I have never had to take any medication.

You say you won’t stop masturbating. Why? Its not forever. Try it for a week or so. You can always start right up again.

If you aren’t horny, you are less apt to approach chicks. Its that simple.

Good point. I’ll give it a shot this week considering my birthday party is on saturday and i’m going to get pretty shit faced. at the damned bare minimum i need to walk out with some numbers to show some progress.

my temper is better now than it was 2 years ago. it’s better now than it was just ONE year ago.

Like I said, the problem is i’ve fallen back on my anger and temper so much that when I go a few weeks without any issues, I run into that one day where something happens and the "2 steps forward, 3 steps back" saying comes into play. Or whatever the correct saying is. It happened to me about 2 weeks ago. Everything was fine, and then I was grumpy, angry, short tempered, and snapping on people at work. Ever since then, i’m fine. But I fall back on my anger/whiny brashness still too often.
I found a good way to cope with it.

Why do men get nervous around woman they want to have sex with? The reason is they CARE about what the woman will say and how she will react to him.

Instead of going to a woman with the idea of ‘i want sex and dating her’ simply stop caring about wether you will succeed or not having a date with her, if the pressure is gone you’ve got nothing to lose afteral. That way you show you have a life of your own to live, which is a bonus attraction for woman.

Honestly stop caring what woman will think of your reaction, just talk to them to have a great time. Talking was never meant as a form of torture.

It might sound silly but if you have Winamp, just listen to the Comedy Channels for 1 hour each day, you laugh a lot and you’ll see how wonderfull talking and humor is to have a great time. That way you wont have a mental block and actually can have a lot of fun while talking to woman,just for a laugh

good solid points all around. when i get back from the mall tonight i will substitute some comedy channels from shoutcast for game sound from the 360.

mod edit: trust me i know what i am saying
Most people are too lazy to control their temper because of their upbringing. Noone encouraged them to not act out….so they learned early on that if you act out, you get some pay off.

It’s very similar to monkeys, lions, bears and any other wild animal. If they get away with a behavior long enough, no matter how destructive, it becomes a habit.

Old habits are hard to break…..especially alone because it’s so easy to break a commitment to ourselves…..afterall, we’re the ones that made the commitment so why can’t we break it when we want to? This is why so many people break their New Years resolutions.

Character building exercises and imposing discipline on ourselves usually always feels like punishment. However, IMO this is caused by a simple lack of motivation to change.

Anthony Robbins has an excellent program for pushing us to change in ways we never thought possible. He also provides motivation for these changes and helps us help ourselves. You can find his books and tape programs at most public libraries.

If you want to stop acting out in anger, you must learn new ways to deal with stress. You must learn new ways of interacting with people and you must learn new ways to deal with set backs in life. Guess what slick….we all have to do this.

However, most people would rather bitch on this forum about how anger and life are so uncontrollable and they just can’t help themselves. Now that I’ve given you suggestions to follow, the question is, will you continue to bitch or will you go out and find solutions to your issues?

Me personally, I give no value to bitchers, whiners or complainers. I’m not perfect….hell far from it. I’ve had to bust my ass to overcome my drinking problems and all sorts of other shit….but I wanted a different life and I’ve created that. So I know it’s possible….if one is properly motivated.

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My finance and I are leaning that direction because of the high costs of "real" weddings in socal but my dad is less than thrilled. thinks its tacky, seems to think its not the same thing.

we are perfectly happy with anything, as long as we say vows and its official.

anyone have any been there done that advice on this one?
A shotgun wedding doesn’t play up the severity of the decision you’re making.

If you don’t want a big wedding, just do the whole church wedding thing minus the guests.
its not shotgun at all. we are thinking about November of this year, just dont want to go in debt over this.

is that everyones first thought about vegas, that its not well thought through?
they can be real nice.. has sort of a cheeky feel to it when you say "Vegas wedding’ but I knew a few people who had pretty nice, small weddings there.
Nothing wrong with it, do what makes you happy. That being said, make sure you’re not settling. If you want the bigger wedding, save and have it. This isn’t something that has to rushed into and its not something you can redo later. Its a memory that will be with you forever.

did any of them every mention later that they wished they would have done it differently?

i have a couple co-workers who have been telling me they had a big wedding and if they could do it all over again would run away to vegas. i just was looking for an opinion on the opposite end of this, seeing if any vegas people wished they would have done it backwards as well.

Severity of the decision? And what shotgun wedding? What the hell are you talking about?

My cousin got married in Vegas a few years ago. He flew his family out there (there were 13 of us total) it was great! We just went for the weekend. Went to the wedding on Saturday, Saturday night my dad took everyone out for dinner, we played in Vegas all night and left Sunday. They went on their honeymoon and we all went home. It was so fun Low key, inexpensive, just close family- I’d do it in a heart beat.

It’s your wedding, do what you want- especially if you guys are the ones paying for it.
Lots of people don’t like steering away from traditional. When I think vegas wedding I think like Elvis. I am sure its not that. People are just stuck in the stereotype of a vegas wedding.
Nothing’s wrong with Vegas weddings, but I guarantee you’ll hear comments about it the rest of your marriage if you’re getting married a la Little Chapel style….

If you want something small, why not get married somewhere (not in a church) by a justice of the priest or minister (depending on your religion) and then just have a dinner with close family?
This topic was in another thread. They were very happy with their wedding. They found a nice place at one of the hotels, it was small but classy!

Why not just get married at the court house or whatever and then have a fun party/get together for your friends and family that matter?

It’s super cheap and you don’t have to spend on an elaborate wedding. In fact, you don’t even have to spend the money Vegas would cost.

With Vegas, you have the wedding & honeymoon covered maybe.
the only problem IMO is if you can’t get The Flying Elvis’ to join you. It just wouldn’t be complete.

thats what we were thinking of doing as well. some of the hotels have really cheesy chapels, but some have nice garden areas that look really pretty

that was one of our thoughts, but the most exepensive part of the whole thing is the reception. we originally wanted to have it in my dads backyard, but its not large enough to fit our guest list, and we cant cut it down any farther (beacuse of who my dad insists is on the list…) The cost of renting a location plus the table rentals, cateering, etc and we might as well have a ceremony attached to it for a couple hundred more. and its all still out of our price range

i am just sort of surprised at peoples responses. my dad and stepmom are the only people i know who have an issue with this, and i thought they were just being crazy. i guess a lot of people still have bad thoughts about vegas weddings

There is a difference between a Vegas wedding at the drive-thru chapel or Elvis-hosted chapel….and picking a hotel in Vegas with a room where the ceremony can be held.

Why do you have your heart set on Vegas anyway?

If I were you and wanted to save some money but have fun with your guest list then I would just get the marriage license on our own and then have a reception weekend in Vegas. Basically just have everyone come out to Vegas with you and have a great time; the first night can be your "reception." I think people put too much importance on the "formal" kind of wedding. If you just want a place to celebrate your love with friends and family they don’t necessarily have to see the wedding itself, no one really gives a crap about that part anyway. They just wanna get drunk at the reception.
BTW, my cousin and his wife drove the fam from LA to Vegas. They got married in some hotel and then just celebrated the weekend there. It was extremely laid back and didn’t even resemble a real wedding. When I look at the pictures I wonder why they even bothered having a ceremony since you could barely tell in this room there was a wedding going on.
I wouldn’t say that it’s necessarily bad to get married in Vegas, but I think the connotation of saying you got married in Vegas and it being a drive-through wedding still exists. Probably because the image of Elvis marrying you in a small, commercial chapel has been around for so long. So many people jump to assumptions before looking further…

But, if it’s what you want, do it. They have some really nice chapels in the nicer, bigger hotels/casinos. But, as I mentioned earlier and beer.. why not do it at home? When my mother and stepfather got married they got married outside in a park by a justice of the peace. I think the ceremony cost them a ridiculously low amount (basically marriage certificate + his fees), and then they had a dinner/party (wasn’t really a reception) in the same area with a room for such function. I’m going to say they literally spent under $1500 between the room, food, booze, and a DJ. They just wanted something small and simple because it was both of their second marriages, and they were already in their 40′s. Why not look into something like that? Simple, cheap, and fun..
DasVWBabe posted one of her wedding pics in that thread (that I linked) and it looks like they picked a pretty classy place. Other people posted some good info in there too if your still seriously considering it.

is it cheaper to get married in other parts of the country? i figured a wedding is a wedding basically anywhere you go, but the cheapest i have found in the month and a half i have been researching is @$10K for a ceremony and reception at the same location including site rental, food, and booze. ive looked at parks, and you have to rent the park, along with renting everything you could possibly need for the ceremony and reception including generators for electricity and security guards by the hour for the duration. some places look affordable initially, and then once you add everything in, its the same price as the big hotel down the street.

My sister had a beautiful wedding. They found this really small very cheap flower garden for the ceremony and then had the reception at a local golf club. Golf club had good food and everything was included. Cost them maybe $7000.

But I do agree with Cumstang02. If money is the real issue here why not just wait? What is the rush?
Sorry, offtopic but when I heard vegas wedding I started thinking of Rob Scheider in Chuck/Larry movie
What I am doig is having a reception at some hall, pretty much just a big room with tables and chairs. It costs 200 to rent it, and we have the whole day before to do whatever we want to it. Pretty much plan on making almost everything for the hall, and they allow outside catering so you could even bring in your own food if you wanted (although you would have to have someone with a liquor license work a bar if you wanted it). We are looking at about $10k for everything the wedding entails (church, dress, invitations, decorations, food etc), and that is with a guest list of 300+

part of it is that i’m not sure i could stomach saving every penny for a year or two just to spend it all on one day and start back at zero again. we dont want to go broke over this, nor do we want to spend our entire savings. technically, we have the cash to throw a $20k wedding, but then we would be starting out married life out with no savings whatsoever.

and there isnt really a rush, but i just dont see the point of having an engagement longer than a year. if he propsed and i said yes, its cause we are ready to get married. we dont want a big extravagent thing where we need to book 2 years in advance so there really is no other reason to wait

my dad offered to help, but he either doesnt want to pay the difference or cant afford to pay the difference, so its now up to just us and what we can afford. i’m not opposed to getting married anywhere, this was just an option we found that we can afford and that allows us to have our immediate families and very close friends involved since they all want to be

where are you from?

Shit, maybe change your thinking? What’s wrong with being engaged over a year? I’ll probably be engaged for 3 years before I get around to setting up a wedding. That way I can decide to save money if we want something big (most likely not).

Spending over $10k on one day however has always been ridiculous to me. Do some more research on places you can go or have the reception. I mean shit, you live in Irvine. Go do it on the beach.

i’ve done a ton of research about weddings out here. beach, no beach, hotel, country club, resturant, park, college campus, etc. i guess i’m just at the point where i feel i have left no stone unturned and so vegas seems totally fine to me. i know that we should do whatever makes us happy, i was just curious if other people heard vegas and thought "eww tacky" since i was surprised by my dads reaction, but i guess its a pretty common one afterall

Check the chapels at The Bellagio (where I was married), and the outdoor garden at The Wynn. TTheHotel has an AMAZING location as well, and one of the gals on a diamond forum I’m a member of had hers there. It was beautiful! Pics from her wedding and reception –

Also, if you’re planning a Vegas wedding, we made a long weekend of it, and got married on a Thursday (because the prices are significantly less than a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday wedding.)

The Bellagio, Caesars and the Wynn are our top choices right now based on what we have seen on the websites. Its good to hear from someone who has done their wedding at the Bellagio to know it worked out well (especially since i already know my fiance likes your opinion on things, he is mb300e87)

Ohhhhhh, so nice to meet you!

I have to say the Bellagio was soooo incredibly easy. I called them to chat about what they offered for each package, and they were so patient and explained everything to me . . .over and over in some cases.

The whole proess took me about 3 phone calls, 3 or 4 emails, a credit card payment, and that was it. I had about 3 weeks to plan my wedding, and it couldn’t have been more stress free.

Plus, they give you a huge discount on the room at the Bellagio – and we had a NICE room!

The only thing I’d add to the Bellagio package is a freelance photographer. The Bellagio photographer is generally pretty young and inexperienced, and although we did get some nice pictures, we didn’t get any WOW pictures until we did our TTD shoot in Hawaii.

I’ll PM you a link to our photo album, that has pretty much every pic from our entire trip!

Best of luck to you – Vegas was an amazing place to get married.

I’m sure it’s cheaper in some places than others, but sometimes you have to look outside of venues that you wouldn’t normally think of as a wedding spot… I should mention, however, that my mother’s side of the family is uber Italian, and my grandmother cooked for DAYS, so the wedding wasn’t catered. We pretty much bought our own beer, wine, liquor, too, because the room they rented was just that, a room.

But, like I said, they just did it because after living together for 7 years, they didn’t really want to make a big deal of a wedding, it wasn’t a money issue.

that sounds like an awesome wedding! i tried to convince my family (mom’s side is italian) to cook but they werent having any of that. too bad, cause that would have been perfectly us. good food, good booze and just a casual kick back fun time

.

I think it all depends on what you want. Some people want the circus wedding, others want a quiet ceremony their parents/bro and sis and closest friends…. those sorts of things.

I mean, there are chapels at the nice resorts like the Wynn and Mandalay Bay… doesn’t have to be the drive-in chapel…

Exactly..

You could always call a local Italian place though, they might be able to cook some yummy food and hook you up wit a great deal!

But, Vegas is a nice time. I was at a wedding in Vegas recently, and it was gorgeous. Very small and short ceremony/reception. A part of me wished that I wasn’t so hooked on the idea of a big wedding, because a classy, simple wedding like that is so attractive to me.

what part of a big wedding has you hooked? i know its so easy to fall into wanting all those things, since just about every wedding website and magazine is geared towards huge extravegant weddings. before i got engaged, i never wanted anything like that, but once i started looking for ideas, they almost had me roped in to doing something we didnt want.

i still bought a gorgeous dress because i knew no matter where we got married, i wanted to look amazing and take his breath away.

the quiet ceremony is exactly what we are going for. unfortunately that doesnt = small though. my immediate family is huge and i would really love if they all could be there.

we have found some hotels that have larger chapels or garden areas that can fit up to 100 people. we are going to go check them out to see if they look cheesy or tacky in a few weeks

if your dad is not paying for the wedding then he shouldn’t have a say in who is on the guest list.

if my parents pulled shit like that, I’d be on the red eye to Vegas to get married.
i think spending $50k for a wedding is stupid.

my parents are doing it for each of my two brothers.

crazy. i’m gonna have a small one. spend about ~$10k, and i’ll be happy.

I don’t know. I’m a self admitted high maintenance woman, I guess it probably something to do with that. I’ve always wanted a big wedding with great food and an amazing bar that went on into the wee hours of the night..

i didnt fight the guest list when i thought he was paying. now that its in our hands, i have said no to him. i totally agree

to me, that sounds like an awesome party. thats what we would have loved to do, but its one of those things if you half ass it, it doesnt have the same effect, and we were not able to do it full out. we went to a wedding a year ago where the alcohol was free flowing and the DJ was awesome and we had the best 5 hours drunk off our asses dancing the whole time. now THATS a wedding
I also don’t like the idea of spending so much money on wedding that it has a negative impact on your quality of life for an extended period of time. For that reason I think it should really be acceptable to have multiple weddings. You have a small and inexpensive one to start. Then, ten years down the road, roll your anniversary into a second wedding. You will have more money and there able to afford a much nicer wedding. All your friends will have more money, and they will bring nicer gifts. There will be kids running around, it’ll be a great time.

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I’ve been feeling lonely and depressed lately and it’s nothing really new — I have a great idea of what I could do but I feel a little limited too. I have no group of friends. No girlfriend. I don’t even know where to start, man.

I’m going to college very soon; starting summer sessions so I’ll be real busy studying and I have a part-time job too.

I mean work life is alright but its just not the best place to make friends. While summer vacation has started – I’m taking all sessions so I can catch up for the new season. While most people are out of college partying up or with the free time they will have — I’m stuck studying!

I’m sorry, I finally came to a point where now I have time to think a little more and feeling socially deprived. What kept me from feeling like this is my dad, my dog and my job; which I’ve took the year off to save enough money for school. I just feel damn lost now and im afraid this will affect my studies and everything probably.

Someone cheer me up here
You absolutely have to get yourself out there.

The good new is your in College, one of the best place to make this happen.

Join any sort of club, sport, frat, organization, or interest group you can find that appeals to you, and just start socializing and interacting.

If you want to study, THEN SET UP….A GREAT WAY TO MEET NEW PEOPLE…

Sigh..I will try to take my own advice in September when I go back to University, good luck to you!
As far as school goes, it applies to most things, just get the hard stuff (classwork, financial aid, etc.) out of the way and you’ll have plenty of time for personal time afterwards. My cousin and his friends traveled across the pond nearly once a year because they did this.

As far as being socially deprived, I understand completely what you mean. I’m without friends and generally don’t have anyone to speak to on a deeper level than simple small talk and banter. However, for me, I’ve become conditioned to it, so I am comfortable in it now.

I would suggest going out and doing the things you enjoy (golf, cruising through towns/street on a bike, sporting events, etc. – ANYTHING); social interaction comes automatically when doing such things. When I used to skydive regularly (I still do it when I can), I found that you have your normal friends and then your skydive friends; they seem to travel in a pack, much like any other group (i.e. biking/running enthusiasts for example).

Making and maintaining friends is a fulltime job, an exhaustive task. However, this is my own personal cynical view of things, so this will hardly help you.

I am glad you’re not limiting yourself to the workplace to make friends; it can be quite conflicting combining your professional and personal life. You said you are trying to catch up for the new season, that has its own pros and cons. On one hand, you’re getting through school quicker than others (may as well accomplish an arduous task rather than holding out on it), but then again, missing out on a social aspect of things. Find what is important to you and zone in on it and get things done. I find school to be one of the things that I particularly do not enjoy, but I know it has got to be done, so I just sack it up and get what I need to be done.

This was long winded, so that for I apologize, and I am not sure of how much help I was, but if you feel this will negatively impact nearly every aspect of your life, get out there! You’ve got to do your own thing and the social part will follow.
Thanks for the responses! I appreciate it!

I feel better now just after taking a nap — I finally opened my eyes. I have a supportive family, a good job and an education. I was reeking of doubt, I felt like I was weak but what is the sense of thinking all that shit!?

I’ve grown up a lot, dont get me wrong. I’ve become a great listener, I’ve got a lot smarter and more alert. Even though I have no friends, now its the time to get back on my feet and start making new ones instead. When I walk to my work, I’ll have a fake smile being positive as possible. Though if it hurt, I will be as energetic and brave while I’m at that seat learning and seeing new people. I feel pretty weak now but I will fight it though patiently and learn.

God I feel damn good about this.

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Im 26, most of my closest freinds are much older than me because in high school I hung out with an older crowd. A handful of them I still go out with from time to time and a handful I just lost contact with. I think pretty much all of my freinds are married and have kids.. im the only one of my freinds who has no kid and supports himself and nobody else.

Im responsible, and so are all of my close freinds.. we all look out for ourselves (in my case) and our families (in their case) but when we get together, or when we visit, have a barbecue, talk on the phone.. a drink.. anything… we’re down to earth people..

I hung out with an old freind of mine the other day.. and he totally changed.. was a stone cold face guy who almost seemed affraid to be himself.. he was just this "mature responsible adult"..

I dont ever want to hangout with him again, and he made me realize, I know a lot of people like him.. who I dont hangout with.. it’s pathetic to me.. to act like that, I know plenty of people (myself included) who are very responsible and candid, business professional people at times but to me.. keep that shit away from me.. I hate it, I hate the people who act like that and it’s part of the reason I switched jobs to working outside… I can’t stand the fake ass bullshit..

the "We’ll touch base" type of shit…

Hell, that is so middle-something i think.. I know some wealthy people that just.. make me sit in awe at how much money they make, the lifestyle they have.. the vehicles they own.. (all my dads freinds) and they are all the realest motherfuckers you’d ever meet. These fake people seem to originate somewhere and I can’t quite define it or pin it..

That kind of stuff bother you at all?

It’s kinda strange, but I notice this happening with me. I took leave after being deployed for 9 months and wasn’t the same around my old friends/family when I came back. I just didn’t feel comfortable or at all like my old self. After a week of seeing them I began to loosen up. I am fine when it comes to people I see on a daily basis. I think it simply had to do with being disconnected for so long. I have more responsibility than ever now, yet I don’t think it’s the reason. Give your buddy some time to unfold and see how he is.
I think I know what you mean.
I’m the same age as you and I too always had friends that were older than me.

Many of my friends have changed the same way.

I hate it too, but I guess even good friends drift apart.

Now I have friends that are younger than me and I’m a happier around them than my old ones.
I definitely wouldn’t say "mature" is the word to use in that situation.

But yeah, those fake types of people are always a pain to hang out with. They are usually the ones who can’t keep any friends either.

He probably just seemed fake because you haven’t seen him in a while. He’s still a human and I’m sure he likes to laugh and be goofy just like anyone else.

My best friend and I were really good friends with a girl who turned into that. We don’t speak anymore. The most frustrating part is remembering how cool she used to be and how much fun we use to have. Now she just sucks to be around. Even her husband can’t stand her. She’s so fake now its maddening to even think about.
i have always been more mature then my peers. people seem to like it, because im relatively unique.
I don’t understand what you mean by "fake"?

Bump… Please explain more… I don’t understand what you guys mean by the word "fake". I’m afraid I have trouble keeping friends like Socrates said, but I don’t want my friends to think of me this way… I like having fun and hanging out, or going out to lunch or something, but most friends I know never call me up. I try to call them up and say hi and say we should hang out go to lunch or a ball game or something and then tell them to let me know what day and time they are available but they never call back.

I am just trying to understand what you mean by "fake" so I can avoid being labeled like this by my friends.

I thought the beginning of death was being conceived.
Sorry Vysion!

So, as for my former friend acting "fake"… essentially, she tries to act like someone she’s not. Problem is, she’s not a very good actress. She tries very hard to look and act like she’s better than everyone around her, including her husband. Maybe it works a little better with people who didn’t know her before she became this entirely different person, I don’t know. I do know, however, that she doesn’t have friends anymore because of it though. She LOVES to talk about how its not her fault that she’s so much more mature than other people our age (25 btw) because she has a husband and a career and a house. When you invite her to go out and do something fun, she scoffs at the idea because that’s not what "mature" adults do.

Short list of how she acts now that she’s "mature":

Her family has always had A LOT money. For as long as we were friends (about 10 years) she absolutely hated it when someone would bring it up. She was always very humble about her family and her upbringing. Now, she she brings it up as often as she can, in every way she can think of.

She tells her husband that he isn’t as smart as she is and how he’ll never be as successful as her dad.

She won’t hang out with her husband’s friends because they’re not "her class" of people. BTW, her and her husband grew up in the same town, had the same friends and went to the same places. Now, she doesn’t like him hanging around with any of them.

She’s now become impossible to talk to because every conversation with her is like trying to pull hen’s teeth. Its so awkward, it’s almost physically painful to listen to. Its like talking to someone you’ve only been introduced to 5 minutes earlier who is only giving you one word answers. When you do get her to talk, it comes across as very condescending. When she talks about herself, she’ll look you in the eye and tell you about her fabulous life and fabulous husband and fabulous job- then you talk to her husband and he tells you the truth… the disparity is astounding.

Its so so sad. She’s turned into her mom. I don’t know what happened to her, but she’s obviously really unhappy. My best friend and I talk about how we miss the "old Kathy" all the time. I haven’t heard her laugh once in the past 5 years. She used to be the funniest, most kind person I knew. Now, she tries to act like she’s got her whole life together, that everything is perfect and that she has money coming out of her ears. Then you hear the way she talks to her husband and her parents and it makes your stomach drop.

One of the worst parts is that my best friend and I were really good friends with her husband too (we were all friends for years before they started dating) and now he’s so depressed. He was amazing before they started dating. Now he hides from all his friends and doesn’t want to talk to anyone. He’s embarrassed of his life and who he’s become.

I’m not sure that this is the same kind of "fake" that others are talking about But its lame and sucky.
maybe she’s hiding something under all that "my life is perfect" persona. maybe it really isn’t all that great, she just wants to keep convincing herself (and ppl around her) it is.
It sounds like she is more "stuck-up" than "fake"…

Think car salesmen, except in a social situation rather than a business situation.
I find that younger people who are "extremely mature" for their age, often come from difficult backgrounds, including but not limited to alcoholism, sexual abuse, violence and other forms of dysfunction.

It actually sounds like she’s severely depressed.
I think the type of person Lucky Penny described is very similar to what the OP was shooting for.

It’s the people who you used to party with who now say "I’m above that now."

If you’re in the mall with this person and you see someone trip and fall, he just sits there stone faced while everyone else laughs.

It’s basically the type of person who one day decided they don’t have the inner child in them any more and now they must appear to be professional and grown up all of the time. All business, no pleasure.

In your case, it could be a number of things.

Maybe you’re overly negative and pessimistic about situations.

Maybe you often say stuff like "I’m bored" or "This sucks, lets leave."

On the other hand, maybe you just laugh and smile with whatever is going on and don’t really offer your own opinion at all.

Maybe you never really say anything original at all, but only respond to the stuff they say.

Maybe you seek approval too much and they can pick up on it.

People want to hang out with people who are fun. By being fun, I mean cracking jokes on each other, being goofy, not caring what people think, doing interesting activities, and making people feel good about themselves.

I have no idea what you’re like in person, so these and just some random guesses that I think would make people not want to hang out with someone.

This is the most likely of them all… I’m not very "creative" when it comes to small talk, or joking around talk.

I’m trying to get better at inserting my own opinions when hanging out with people. But I don’t know how to come up with original things that others would laugh about or talk about. I think it is hard for others to follow my sense of humor. I’m trying to work on all that though.

All right, comedy is one thing I know! I’m always the clown of the group.

A lot of the times I make people laugh, it’s just from quoting movies. Last night I was drinking and playing pool at the bar I work at, and the doorman had to deny some minors entry to the bar. I used my pool stick as a staff and walked up to the door and in my best Gandalf voice yelled "Youuuu shalllll notttt paaassss!!!!" —- I thought it was hilarious, and so did all of the door guys and waitresses. Hahahaha that still makes me laugh. There was a couple who haven’t seen Lord of the Rings, so they didn’t get it. Oh well.

Haha, or quoting Joe Dirt is always fun. If your friends jokingly talk shit on you, hold up your fists and say "Is this queer? Is this queer? You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? they don’t like no feed back, what’s up?"

Haha

I don’t know, I just really like quoting movies. Everyone loves movies!

You absolutely hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly what it is. I know she’s hiding behind this new "persona" of hers. I’m sure she’s really unhappy. It’d be great if we could help get her out of this weird thing she’s created for herself- but not only does she continue to push us away every time we to talk to her, she’s now become the biggest energy-suck I’ve ever meet. Just being in her presence leaves you mentally exhausted.

Ya know, I really don’t think that’s a bad thing Its just the way you are. I think you just need to find people who enjoy that kind of personality trait. Personally, I really appreciate people like you because when you do have something to say, it’s usually worth listening to.

My bf has that same laid back, take it all in, quiet personality. I adore it. Not only is he the Yin to my boisterous Yang, he’s wicked smart and a fantastic listener. My favorite part of telling him a story is waiting for his response, because I know its going to make me think in a way I hadn’t before. He’s very quiet around people he doesn’t know really well, but when he’s comfortable he opens up and is super funny, if you understand his humor.

Le sigh
I’m almost 34 and still like to cut loose and act like a kid once inawhile Act giddy on occasion, stay up til ungodly hours on a weekend night playing video games, kicking a soccer ball around with some of the neighborhood kids (having a greenbelt next to the house FTW) or doing silly things to make others laugh.
It does the soul some good. If enjoying life in that sense makes me immature, so be it. I’ve learned over many years to stop giving a shit what others think

You can be mature and responsible but still joke around and or make a fool of yourself and laugh about it. There is a time and a place for everything, but there are few times/places, in my opinion, to have the stiff upper lip. I feel I am mature in that I can hold down a job, keep my bills paid, take care of my family and help others in need, and maintain positive relationships with the people in my life
There’s a lot of people who wear ‘masks’, its a public facade.

The reason is simple, people often aren’t liked for who they are so in order to function in a certain enviroment they have to pretend to be someone who they are not. Have a look at the golf club , these people aren’t neccessarily evil or anything but they all start wearing the same clothes, expensive cars, bragging about this and that, a complete theater but why? the atmosphere demands it. And people feel like they need to live up to certain standards and some individuals will sacrifice their own personality in order to ‘fit in’.

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I have been feeling down and bummed, this is the woman I thought I would be with for the rest of my life, and well naturally, having to fucking move out on fathers day isnt the best thing to help this.

I have been thinking about this over the past month, this has been going on for 2 months now, and honestly I feel like I need someone to distract me from her, I mean I love her, but why waste my time and effort of she is not into this like I am? Why beat myself and put myself in a loosing situation over this?… so Ive been thinking that I may just give it a shot at dating other people.

not getting into a relationship, god knows right now I dont need that but basically finding someone to spark some kind of interest and distract me so that when I am alone, I dont feel like complete utter shit. i have friends of course but they are busy and caught up i their lives, my closest friend is also going through the same shit I am, and honestly I would be ideal to spend more time with her as we kind of feed off each other, but she is still trying to work her marriage out and basically, she doesnt need another worry.

So, when is is socially or widely acceptable to start dating after a separation? should I wait until the divorce? she has made it clear that this is what she wants… and while I dont want it to happen, she is asking for it, so I am thinking i honestly need to move the hell on. (however hard it may be)
You don’t have to wait for the paper because she already divorced with you in her heart,afteral what is the use to keep on beating a dead horse so to speak? And in terms of timing , the best time to start dating is when you are ready for it.

Just do it, your life goes on and so does her, she’s filing for a divorce so wether she cares or not on wether you date other people isn’t her concern anymore, if she complains tell her that she’s the one who wanted a divorce not you, you can’t put your life on a halt for her.

You know it sucks because you still love her, but again your life goes on, and its perfectly ok for you to keep on loving her, but in the realization that your relationship has come to a dead end road. The only thing you can do is turn around your car,continue to drive and head back to the highway of life.
Thanks, the problem i see with doing that is that its been so freaking long for me since I have even wondered about dating anyone… much less looked for anyone.

I guess you can say that my game has gone down in quality due to the lack of practice lol

I wonder if all that I need is just a distraction? I know I am a good catch lol so I guess that should be a good vote of confidence but shit man… everything I worked for over the last 7 years is gone to shit. honestly I dunno if i can do it again.

hell where to even start? I hate myspace for one lol…
dude, give yourself some time, 2 months after the divorce or whenever your ready for it, you don’t have to dive into a new relationship so early, you can give yourself some slack space before you start thinking about these things, meanwhile go join a baseball team, bowling or play golf to let off some stress and steam.
I am trying but my work schedule is only Thurs-Saturday and every other Sunday so I have a LOT of down time.

Im joining a gym this week… and maybe even go jog around rice university for some stress relief.
fuzZ, there are several of us going thru the same thing right now, were here for ya. dont be afraid to start some threads and talk about how you feel a little bit. i know it all anonymous stuff and the hug icons arent the same as a real friend hugging you, but in here, you can pretty much trust the encouraging words your asylum friends will give you. (they all made a huge difference for me)

chin up, keep marching, eventually youll get back to "fine".

Whenever you feel ready is when you should start dating. Don’t push it. I know you probably have a ton of people saying "get out there!" and some saying "You should wait a while". Neither of them are wrong, the issue is, what feels right to you?
Thanks all!

Well, i did get entirely shitfaced last friday night, I went out with some old friends and got to see a few that I had not seen in YEARS! It was a nice break, it was entertaining, and most of all it was a great release. But the thing that sucked is that at the end of the night I still came home to my empty ass apartment. lol

I did have a real good chat with one of my best friends, shes going through the same shit I am and we are close, so wee kind of understand each other. thing is we both told each other when we got married that it our respective partners to be were not right for each other… and now we both regret not listenting to one another.

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Because I have nothing to do, and my friends are out having fun. My only friends drink every weekend, and I don’t. So I don’t hang out with them on weekends unless it’s earlier in the day.

I have nobody to hang out with, even though I’m pretty social. My only option is to volunteer with my old friends, but I hate doing that. So much bullshit, drama, politics, etc.

Sorry if you’ve seen this same thing posted by me 20 times before. Today is not a happy day for me. Well, no Friday’s and Saturday’s are happy for me but wtvr…

And my brother was my best friend until he got a girlfriend who is now his fiance. He doesn’t even make time to hang out.
And I also realized today that some things I’ve been working on in the past year are going to happen within the next two months, and I’m nervous about it.

Because if they don’t go as planned, I’m gonna be very sad.
But hey! Tomorrow is father’s day and I’m going to eat with the family so I guess that’s cool.

A lot of people don’t have dads, so I should be thankful.

Awww… I’m sorry man.

Seriously. It sucks.

be happy
why not go out with your friends and just have a single drink or sip on something all night?

i know if i try it i will like it. if i like it i will be an alcoholic. i am a candyholic, sodaholic and a nailbitaholic and can’t stop. so i know this would be the same. here is why though:

-my dad drinks (very little maybe a beer every other night) and i hate it.

-my mom would be very dissapointed in me.

-as it is, me and my friends are underage so we shouldn’t be drinking anyways.

-i think that drinking is very low class and look down on anyone who drinks, and don’t want to do that.

-in my community, people talk, and everyone and their parents know i’m a good kid who doesn’t drink, smoke, etc, etc and i get respect for it and i’d like to maintain it. it doesn’t mean too much right now, but in my [religious] community when it’s time to get married, the lady’s family will not allow you to get married because of shit you’ve done in the past. i have a cousin going through this right now.

whatever it is, i hate alcohol and can never see myself using it. basically, that’s not an option.
If it makes you feel any better, last night I stayed home to play Wii

lol you need to relax man. All the shit you just listed is so superficial. I knew a guy who was a jehovah’s witness. Exercised all the time, never smoked, never drank, always went to church. Was a very moral person. Guess what? He died early of leukemia. If you don’t want to do something, thats fine but don’t let others opinions sway you. Life is short enough as it is.. who gives a crap.
You know, you could get a soda and still go out with them. I doubt they’d give a shit.
Eh, what’s the big deal if you don’t do something Friday or Saturday nights? It’s not like you don’t have friends, they just happen to like something that you don’t. Sounds like you need to find a new friend or two to hang out with if you really need to be doing something Friday and Saturday nights.

That too…
Why not go out and not drink? I go out but i don’t drink and alot of people do. There is nothing weird about that.
Maybe i missed something, but i really don’t see the problem.
Get more friends.
Find more friends with your common interests. In other words, if you like biking, find a biking group. If you like books, find a book club. ect. ect.

But also, I hate when people use that stupid excuse "I don’t drink so I can’t hang out with all my friends who drink. It sucks to be the sober one amongst drunks."

I hang out sober around my friends while they drink all the time and I have a great time! Unless you are a recovering alcoholic it’s a lame excuse. I’d take being out with friend sober at a bar far faster then sitting at home moping on the internet.

now that sounds like a solution.
sounds like you would make a great designated driver which everyone needs…..
The only way to escape from it is if you aknowledge in your mind that YOU are the one who has to make an effort, understand this in life my friend: Waiting WONT work.

You can sit in your room all day and i can garentee you nothing will happen, EVER!

All the initiative in life has to come out of yourself. Life is not a hotel, were you’d call roomservice, and beautifull people will ring on your door to entertain you. Hell i know you want that, i would want that too, but life unfortunatly doesn’t work that way. It always works with an investment from out of yourself.

Even if your alone, you could goto the movies, you could go to the gym during the weekend, you could goto the golf club if there’s any near you, as it is a really social place. Or invite your friends to the racetracks instead of them drinking during the weekends, that’s also a new variation on their life, or go bowling with them earlier on the day.

the cause and solution to all life’s problems

which is why i asked why he cant have a single drink and just sip on it the whole night.. but if its that big of a deal than you need to find some new people who like to just chillout at people’s houses or play some video games or something at night… while still maintaing your friendship with the other people during the day.
Ok, sometimes I’m a big drinker, some nights I’m not.

In fact, I’m quite often driving so don’t have a drink all night when I’m in a bar/at a party.

It’s really not a big deal. Sitting moping in your room is not going to solve anything. And, in reality, saying things like I view drinking as being lower class marks you out as a bit of a twat. Sorry to be harsh, but an attitude like that means that people view you as a snob, and basically don’t want to spend time with you.
"hanging out" is so overrated.

My friday night ended at 9pm. Went out for happy hour, Phils game came on and then took off and went home. Worked a bit saturday AM and then got home and didn’t leave the house afterwards. Didn’t even think about "hanging out" and any of that shit.

It’s fun from time to time, but I’d rather just watch tv and bullshit on the net instead of doing a lot of nothing.

what sorta religion are you so afraid of offending, or whatever it was..
i dont drink or smoke anymore but i go out to clubs and bars with my friends for the social experience, order a club soda or sprite or something and hollar at girls

itll build up your social skills
There’s a million things you could go do.. but you can’t sit around and wait for people to call you to do something.

If no one says anything.. sure I’ll just chill with friends and drink.. but if someone suggests mini golf then hell yeah we’ll call up some girls and have fun doing that!

butttttt.. if your friends turn down everything to go drink, then you need new friends
Seriously….go out with your friends and just don’t drink. Be the DD (designated driver). I can tell you I have a total blast watching all my drunk friends making total fools of themselves and being able to tease them about it later.
On a more serious note though, I also am the person they rely on to not let them do something really stupid that they will regret later.
I agree totally with Darketernal….life is not a hotel where you can order room service…very good metaphor….

.
well here i am again… in my room and all my friends are out.

one thing that you need to understand is when you’re 18, there’s much more pressure to drink vs when you’re 21.

i do not like biking, i like the beach, but the beach is far. i like being a computer nerd, but i don’t wanna be in a computer club. i like learning about business, but hate talking to people about it. i like the movies but i wouldn’t wanna go alone.

i am happy though, because last night i talked to two old friends. one guy, one girl who go to school here, and will be back at the beginning of august. both are great friends from middle school when i used to live in houston, and they don’t drink!

which means they probably have some cool school friends who don’t drink also. i am happy today. don’t get me wrong. even though i kinda do get tired of being in my room, i am still overall a happy person and i enjoy hanging out alone online, watching movies at home, watching tv, listening to new music, reading blogs, etc. btw, not trying to sound cool online… but if anybody in my community (religion) read this post they would be like because a lot of them think i’m so perfect based on what they see like what i wear, how i’m pretty cool , the car i drive, the house i live in, how may posts i have online, etc. but srsly, thanks guys. even though i know i won’t ever follow any advice but my own because i’m very conservative and like my strange ways, thanks ot.

/thread

I think the majority of us are familiar with this demographic…

If abstinence is so strongly rooted in your life, I don’t see why you wouldn’t be able to handle peer pressure. Like everyone else said, just sign on as the DD. You’d have to be a total fuckass to make your driver drink.

edit: That’s cool you’re meeting up with old friends, but there’s no reason you can’t hang out with your current friends.
And seriously. Your friends will like you more for driving than for drinking.
there’s notthing wrong with having a couple drinks, just make sure you know when to stop! I don’t go out and drink as much as before, I’m usually at the gym on friday and saturday nights. It sucks when your single and the rest of your friends aren’t
This sounds a lot like me. Sometimes I don’t mind it but sometimes I really do wish I went out a little more. A lot of my friends are tied down (kids) or not in the area anymore. I have plenty of friends (or acquaintances) but I don’t open up very easily. I own my own house so there’s always something to do around here.

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