Because I have nothing to do, and my friends are out having fun. My only friends drink every weekend, and I don’t. So I don’t hang out with them on weekends unless it’s earlier in the day.

I have nobody to hang out with, even though I’m pretty social. My only option is to volunteer with my old friends, but I hate doing that. So much bullshit, drama, politics, etc.

Sorry if you’ve seen this same thing posted by me 20 times before. Today is not a happy day for me. Well, no Friday’s and Saturday’s are happy for me but wtvr…

And my brother was my best friend until he got a girlfriend who is now his fiance. He doesn’t even make time to hang out.
And I also realized today that some things I’ve been working on in the past year are going to happen within the next two months, and I’m nervous about it.

Because if they don’t go as planned, I’m gonna be very sad.
But hey! Tomorrow is father’s day and I’m going to eat with the family so I guess that’s cool.

A lot of people don’t have dads, so I should be thankful.

Awww… I’m sorry man.

Seriously. It sucks.

be happy
why not go out with your friends and just have a single drink or sip on something all night?

i know if i try it i will like it. if i like it i will be an alcoholic. i am a candyholic, sodaholic and a nailbitaholic and can’t stop. so i know this would be the same. here is why though:

-my dad drinks (very little maybe a beer every other night) and i hate it.

-my mom would be very dissapointed in me.

-as it is, me and my friends are underage so we shouldn’t be drinking anyways.

-i think that drinking is very low class and look down on anyone who drinks, and don’t want to do that.

-in my community, people talk, and everyone and their parents know i’m a good kid who doesn’t drink, smoke, etc, etc and i get respect for it and i’d like to maintain it. it doesn’t mean too much right now, but in my [religious] community when it’s time to get married, the lady’s family will not allow you to get married because of shit you’ve done in the past. i have a cousin going through this right now.

whatever it is, i hate alcohol and can never see myself using it. basically, that’s not an option.
If it makes you feel any better, last night I stayed home to play Wii

lol you need to relax man. All the shit you just listed is so superficial. I knew a guy who was a jehovah’s witness. Exercised all the time, never smoked, never drank, always went to church. Was a very moral person. Guess what? He died early of leukemia. If you don’t want to do something, thats fine but don’t let others opinions sway you. Life is short enough as it is.. who gives a crap.
You know, you could get a soda and still go out with them. I doubt they’d give a shit.
Eh, what’s the big deal if you don’t do something Friday or Saturday nights? It’s not like you don’t have friends, they just happen to like something that you don’t. Sounds like you need to find a new friend or two to hang out with if you really need to be doing something Friday and Saturday nights.

That too…
Why not go out and not drink? I go out but i don’t drink and alot of people do. There is nothing weird about that.
Maybe i missed something, but i really don’t see the problem.
Get more friends.
Find more friends with your common interests. In other words, if you like biking, find a biking group. If you like books, find a book club. ect. ect.

But also, I hate when people use that stupid excuse "I don’t drink so I can’t hang out with all my friends who drink. It sucks to be the sober one amongst drunks."

I hang out sober around my friends while they drink all the time and I have a great time! Unless you are a recovering alcoholic it’s a lame excuse. I’d take being out with friend sober at a bar far faster then sitting at home moping on the internet.

now that sounds like a solution.
sounds like you would make a great designated driver which everyone needs…..
The only way to escape from it is if you aknowledge in your mind that YOU are the one who has to make an effort, understand this in life my friend: Waiting WONT work.

You can sit in your room all day and i can garentee you nothing will happen, EVER!

All the initiative in life has to come out of yourself. Life is not a hotel, were you’d call roomservice, and beautifull people will ring on your door to entertain you. Hell i know you want that, i would want that too, but life unfortunatly doesn’t work that way. It always works with an investment from out of yourself.

Even if your alone, you could goto the movies, you could go to the gym during the weekend, you could goto the golf club if there’s any near you, as it is a really social place. Or invite your friends to the racetracks instead of them drinking during the weekends, that’s also a new variation on their life, or go bowling with them earlier on the day.

the cause and solution to all life’s problems

which is why i asked why he cant have a single drink and just sip on it the whole night.. but if its that big of a deal than you need to find some new people who like to just chillout at people’s houses or play some video games or something at night… while still maintaing your friendship with the other people during the day.
Ok, sometimes I’m a big drinker, some nights I’m not.

In fact, I’m quite often driving so don’t have a drink all night when I’m in a bar/at a party.

It’s really not a big deal. Sitting moping in your room is not going to solve anything. And, in reality, saying things like I view drinking as being lower class marks you out as a bit of a twat. Sorry to be harsh, but an attitude like that means that people view you as a snob, and basically don’t want to spend time with you.
"hanging out" is so overrated.

My friday night ended at 9pm. Went out for happy hour, Phils game came on and then took off and went home. Worked a bit saturday AM and then got home and didn’t leave the house afterwards. Didn’t even think about "hanging out" and any of that shit.

It’s fun from time to time, but I’d rather just watch tv and bullshit on the net instead of doing a lot of nothing.

what sorta religion are you so afraid of offending, or whatever it was..
i dont drink or smoke anymore but i go out to clubs and bars with my friends for the social experience, order a club soda or sprite or something and hollar at girls

itll build up your social skills
There’s a million things you could go do.. but you can’t sit around and wait for people to call you to do something.

If no one says anything.. sure I’ll just chill with friends and drink.. but if someone suggests mini golf then hell yeah we’ll call up some girls and have fun doing that!

butttttt.. if your friends turn down everything to go drink, then you need new friends
Seriously….go out with your friends and just don’t drink. Be the DD (designated driver). I can tell you I have a total blast watching all my drunk friends making total fools of themselves and being able to tease them about it later.
On a more serious note though, I also am the person they rely on to not let them do something really stupid that they will regret later.
I agree totally with Darketernal….life is not a hotel where you can order room service…very good metaphor….

.
well here i am again… in my room and all my friends are out.

one thing that you need to understand is when you’re 18, there’s much more pressure to drink vs when you’re 21.

i do not like biking, i like the beach, but the beach is far. i like being a computer nerd, but i don’t wanna be in a computer club. i like learning about business, but hate talking to people about it. i like the movies but i wouldn’t wanna go alone.

i am happy though, because last night i talked to two old friends. one guy, one girl who go to school here, and will be back at the beginning of august. both are great friends from middle school when i used to live in houston, and they don’t drink!

which means they probably have some cool school friends who don’t drink also. i am happy today. don’t get me wrong. even though i kinda do get tired of being in my room, i am still overall a happy person and i enjoy hanging out alone online, watching movies at home, watching tv, listening to new music, reading blogs, etc. btw, not trying to sound cool online… but if anybody in my community (religion) read this post they would be like because a lot of them think i’m so perfect based on what they see like what i wear, how i’m pretty cool , the car i drive, the house i live in, how may posts i have online, etc. but srsly, thanks guys. even though i know i won’t ever follow any advice but my own because i’m very conservative and like my strange ways, thanks ot.

/thread

I think the majority of us are familiar with this demographic…

If abstinence is so strongly rooted in your life, I don’t see why you wouldn’t be able to handle peer pressure. Like everyone else said, just sign on as the DD. You’d have to be a total fuckass to make your driver drink.

edit: That’s cool you’re meeting up with old friends, but there’s no reason you can’t hang out with your current friends.
And seriously. Your friends will like you more for driving than for drinking.
there’s notthing wrong with having a couple drinks, just make sure you know when to stop! I don’t go out and drink as much as before, I’m usually at the gym on friday and saturday nights. It sucks when your single and the rest of your friends aren’t
This sounds a lot like me. Sometimes I don’t mind it but sometimes I really do wish I went out a little more. A lot of my friends are tied down (kids) or not in the area anymore. I have plenty of friends (or acquaintances) but I don’t open up very easily. I own my own house so there’s always something to do around here.

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I’m positive she is falling in love with me, she asks me to hang out every-night and comes onto me alot. She’s said, "I love everything about you," and other hints. And personally I know where falling for each other.

Here’s where it gets rough/confusing, and where I need some help.

+ One night we were going father’s day shopping and her ex [they broke up 1 month ago.] leaves her a voicemail asking why she called. She calls him back and say’s she never did. However, he begins to tell her he wants to talk, and when he asks who’s shes with right now, she says shes alone and with no-one. All while I’m sitting in the car with her, she lies to him saying she’s out by herself.

+ She won’t have sex with me or let me feel her up, or down beacuse she has a Post Tramtic stress problem from a bad past. I don’t know if this is an excuse or real, beacuse she really did have a problem with drugs, etc. But I’m not sure how it connects with the sex, so I believe her somewhat. Note, she told me this a few nights are, and said I want to be honest with you.

+ The other night she goes out with two guys and her freind to a hookah bar, and texts me saying the guys are losers, boring, and ugly. She asks me to come over and I do. When I get there, she shows me no public affection even when I tried to kiss her, she backed away a bit like she was shy. But she’s a crazy girl and not shy. I’m confused there beacuse we were at the same place three nights ago, and she was all over me when we were alone.

+ She started hanging out with some guy from a youth group who she has’nt seen in 4 years. When they were younger [8th grade], she and him were together, and she says she gave him "shitty" head because he kept asking her to do it. However, they used to hang out ALOT, and smoke in the woods, almost everyday way back. The guy is a total loser/white trash, I think she has more class than that, she would choose me, but they’ve had a good/bad long history. So, she invites me to the same place tonight and he’s there like she said, he’s cool, but she laughed with him alot, and seemed to give him to eyes, etc. She did not even call me, babe, hun, baby, etc. Or even kiss me once.

Now I’m really looking forward to falling in love with her, I already love so much about her, but sometimes I feel like I need to end things before I actually do fall in love and get really hurt. Right now, I’d be somewhat hurt, but I’m more confused overall.

If we were together, I’d completly trust her, but were not. So The main thing is I don’t know what her intentions are, or what she wants anymore. Am I just some boy-toy or does she really want to fall in love, or just not even worry about it.

My PLAN. I’m going to take her out to dinner sometime this week, and attempt to be intimate with her without using my hands, etc. and change things up, to try to overcome her fear of my hands on her boob, etc. Sure, I can kiss them, etc. So I know what to do, to make it happen. If she does’nt put out on that night, or atleast please me and let me know she wants to move forward, I’m going to have to move on. I know love is worth waiting for, but I’ve been hurt so so many times, I really could’nt take another crush.
I have about 3 other women at work that want me, pretty damn bad and they are gorgeous as well, with a nice mindset, but I might have to start seeing one of them instead if she’s not interested in completely. It sucks, I’m falling in love with her, I want her to be mine, I don’t push it, or tell her, but I don’t want to lose her, but I feel like I already am, and I don’t know why. Things are going great, and then not so great. We’ve never faught etc.

She sounds crazy to me. I know that’s not the answer you want to hear, but be advised it sounds like you are setting yourself up for heartache.

How old is everyone you’ve described?
Deciding the future of a relationship solely basing it on whether you get sex or off, isnt a good way to get things going. The main key is communication, if you want a good relationship and one that will last more than a few weeks, then you will have to make communication the staple that hold you both together. 2 things you can do:

1) Talk to her, ask her what is the deal with her being so different when shes around your friends and alone

2) Move on, if a girl seems to be too much trouble now, it could get worse once you see each other everyday. You cant change someone just by asking them to do something different. they have to want to change too.
/yourself as soon as possible

that will be $4, please
She might be second guessing whether she wants to be with you or not. Or maybe she is worried that if she does show you affection things will get caught up in the moment and you two may have sex, which could be something she doesn’t want at the moment. But knows it will be harder to say no if in the situation.

But like mentioned before sex is totally the wrong way to move in a relationship to try and make things better. Sex will make you both into each other more because it’s so much fun. But sooner or later those feelings will go away of just wanting to fuck all the time and if you don’t have a strong relationship outside of sex it will come crashing down. Then you’ll likely be in love with her because you love the sex so much and already do cherish being with her. yet she won’t feel the same and will want to end it. You’ll be hurt bad, once again.

Only thing you can really do is talk to her and explain how you feel in relation with everything you just told us. How she seemed more into her friend by laughing at his jokes and looking at him more than she did you.

Some girls get hurt in the past and are afraid to get intimate with new guys because they are worried about getting used and hurt. So don’t be so quick to assume that no sex or affection from her means that she doesn’t want to be with you. But you do need to think with the head over your shoulders instead of in your pants or things will probably not turn out.

You mention how you can get with other girls at work. That doesn’t sound good dude. If you really like this girl and want to be with her the girls at work shouldn’t tell you anything except that you’re worried more about being with somebody than being with a particular girl.

So talk to her and explain stuff and tell her you’re worried about the future on where this relationship is going. If you don’t get an answer you like tell her it’s better that you guys take it a lot slower so that she can figure out what she wants. Then just go hang out with those other girls at work to keep your mind off her. Who knows maybe it will be easy for you to forget about her.

Another thing. Don’t look forward to falling in love with her. if it happens it happens. If you’re looking forward to falling in love with her then you’re setting yourself up for disapointment.
So I know I won’t get the paypal for this advise but from a woman’s stand point you can’t change the way she feels about you. She’s obviously not ready to be serious so don’t get your heartbroken if she’s out with other people (I’m not saying you are but I’m just saying prepare yourself). She’s still desiring the attention of other men and not just one man, and maybe not specifically in a romantic standpoint but a "look at me" kind of way (there’s nothing wrong with this it’s just a phase..hopefully). Good luck buddy!
My last relationship was similar to your current one. Whenever we went out alone or with my friends she was very clingy and all over me. When we went out with her friends she would introduce me as "Just a Friend" and I would pretty much be ignored until the bill came. Overall she pulled some major BS and I dumped her that weekend after I got all the details.

In the end, if she is not putting out and they way she is acting, I would seriously consider moving on. There are plenty of other girls out there who would want to make you happy and be with you.

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