I’ve already made an appointment to see a psychiatrist (potential prescription) for the first time in my life coming this Tuesday around noon.

Primary reasons: laziness & occasional stupidity. These two things constantly give me problems. I logically understand that I need to correct em, but when it comes down to it, I fumble and fuck up.

I quit my last job at the end of July because I was about to get fired. I had that job for 4 months, the job before that, 2 months, job before that, 2 months…. I usually hold onto a job between 2-6 months. Best way I can explain it, is that my mind cares, but my body doesn’t.

I procrastinate heavily when waking up, extremely tired, regardless of how much sleep I get, which constantly gets me in trouble for being late.

I seem to not know what to do at work at times, causing me to constantly seek help from coworkers and superiors as well as going slow. I don’t think myself as stupid, but at times I don’t know how else to describe it.

College classes I’ve failed, English I & II, Art Appreciation, Humanities, Intro to Ethics. I currently have only 30 college credits. I retook all but one of these classes and barely passed em. The only explanation I can think of, is that it bores the shit out of me, preventing me from focusing on it, more importantly I’m too lazy to try.

No friends, never socialized with the opposite sex. Failed my junior year of high school intentionally after finally noticing that primary education is not perpetual and not knowing what I was going to do after high school (I graduated on time[many summer school classes]). Most depressing moment which may be a bit obvious – 4 months Marine Corps Boot Camp. I’m of Ethiopian descent, 6’5", 185lbs. God I made such a mistake joining the Marine Reserves. I should have committed to college instead. Being so skinny and not having an aesthetically pleasing American face contributes to myself not having confidence or self-esteem.

I understand logically what is wrong with me, but do not have the willpower to correct myself when action is necessary. I can not move forward in life until I figure out how to get past this obstacle.
Sounds like a textbook case of depression with a dash of ADD. You need help with your self-image as well. The only reason i know this is that the first 25 years of my life were exactly the same as you describe.

You need to accept the fact that you DESERVE to succeed and be content. You’ll learn to stop sabotaging you potential successes. Your therapist and maybe some meds will help you get there. Keep your chin up. It’ll be alright.
Correction, my appointment will be on the 2nd, which is a Thursday.

And I didn’t expect that response, I was expecting trolling.

trolling is kept to a minimum in the Asylum.

I agree with Schadenfreude1, sounds a LOT like a combination of ADD and Depression. Good news is, you can get treatment and you can start to turn this around.

You also need to start socializing. Human’s are social creatures and being a recluse/anti-social/hermit are NOT normal human behaviors. It’s important for humans to have contact with other humans. This will in turn help boost your self-image and self-esteem, both of which seem to be non-existant atm.

Go to your appointment, be frank, honest and open with the Doctor. Hiding anything is not going to assist you in this matter. Good luck!

What’s their limit ?? They are humans too, and regardless of their job, I’m sure there’s only so much of a sob story they can take before they resent it or get bored.

Just keep it honest and make sure they know what you want out of life. You choose the therapist, they don’t choose you. If you genuinely aren’t making a connection with the person, fuck ‘em and get another.

You sound a lot like me. I start shit all the time that I never finish. You should finish things more often. Keep true to yourself and finish the goal. You’ll feel a hell of a lot better about yourself by doing this. You’ll feel capable and find the next thing easier than before.

Keep going!
Crap. I made a mistake again. My appointment is today, not Thursday. I was right the first time. My fault for not writing it down. I got lucky. My father woke me up this morning. My appointment is in 2 hours. It took me a month to schedule this. Would have sucked if I missed it.
Mother fucker. They told me to come back in three weeks for a prescription. The nurse beside the doctor was surprised I didn’t get medication. I can only assume that thought I wasn’t being genuine and just trying to get ‘high’. They want me to get an EKG and get some blood work done. The nurse hinted that if I get this done soon I can come back earlier than 3 weeks, but I don’t think that’ll happen. I think the EKG is just for their partners to get some cash. I got an EKG a few years ago, but they said I still need another one. I’m in excellent physical condition, including blood pressure, no surgeries, etc. Fuckin 3 weeks. on the 23rd of October. They said they want to give me some new ADHD medication that works for 13-16 hours, works ‘miracles’. I don’t think I’ll try finding another job till I get that medication.
Don’t be so reliant on medication thinking it will be the cure all. Use it as a method of last resort as some of them can have some nasty side effects. As other have pointed out, it seems like you have a self image issue with a side of ADD. While medication can help, a lot of it will still be in your head. You have to get over the fact that some people may not like you or the way you look, but who gives a shit? Learn to be happy with yourself and with some treatment of the ADD, you could grow well.
Maybe they put your appointment off because you were so hungry for medication? You sound like the medication will make you all better and fix everything.
You need to take control of your life and body and if you need medication have it be a small part of the healing process

I just told them my issues. They suggested it. I did conflict with them when I said, I wasn’t a hyper person – ADHD. And I also asked them if it would help with my laziness, they said it would give me a side effect of ‘spunk’. I’m extremely skinny and I think they were worried about that as well, and perhaps that I knew what ADHD meant. EDIT: Oh, and I had a tendency not to look the doctor in the eye, which is normal for me, but might have given him the sense that I was lying about stuff.

I won’t know what effect it has, till I try it.

The main problems I have is attention and laziness.

And sometimes that is just because you are a lazy person with little respect for what you are doing.

I know a few people who lack drive. They just can’t seem to get the motivation to do anything and end up just wasting their life away. Would I call them depressed? No. Would I call them selfish, lazy and childlike? Yes!
What would I prescribe? A swift kick up the arse and for them to be told to grow the fuck up and realise you’re not a child any more and you have responsibilities.

Who knows where your symptoms come from. But waiting for drugs so you can fix yourself is not the answer and just proves that you have no desire to better yourself as a human but you want to get prescribes pills so you have an excuse to be lazy. "It’s not my fault…. it’s my body – see I have to take pills and everything, it’s not my fault"
I tell myself, I don’t want to live with my father at 24 years old, I don’t want to keep quitting jobs, I don’t want to keep getting fired from jobs, I don’t want to be late to work, I want to do good at work, I want to keep a job, I want to get to work on time, I want to pass my classes, I want a secondary education, I want to succeed, I want to advance my life, I want to have friends, I want to be normal, I don’t want to fuck up, I don’t want to think of myself as a worthless piece of shit, I want to stop posting about this shit, I want, I want, I want, I want….

But when it comes to it, what I want for my future, both the immediate and far future, nothing compares to the present. I still fuck up, I’m still late to work, blah blah blah. I’m stuck in life. I know it, but…. I honestly don’t know what to say at this point. I can’t rationalize with myself why I can’t correct myself, why I don’t have the proper motivation, the willpower needed to correct my faults. OT may be right. I ‘just’ need to correct myself. I notice, with laziness, I just care about the fact that I’m tired when I wake up and all that wishful thinking is a load of crap.

Going through Marine Corps Boot Camp (Reserve) and other training hasn’t done shit for me. I regret joining. Perhaps what I needed was a good beating. I’ve thought of that. Meh. I honestly have no explanation to give myself that makes sense. The only assumption I have seems to go against OT’s ‘expert’ advice.

Only one thing left to do….
Have you looked at your diet? If your body is lacking in essential vitamins and minerals it won’t work properly.

What about a simple trip to the local GP? Maybe get your iron levels tested?
A nurse told me to try insure, which I can get a wal-mart, some drink.

Aside from an EKG, they want some blood work from me. I remember they also said they wanted to check my adrenaline levels. This paper work I have says for the diagnostic lab to do:

Comprehensive metabolic panel
CBC with differential & platelets
UA with reflex to microscope
TSH with reflex, T-4, Free
lipid panel

I have no idea what any of that stuff is.
I finally did the blood work and EKG. They looked at my EKG said I might have pericarditis. I got checked out again with an EKG. Doctor said since I don’t have bad aches, I probably don’t have it. I hope this doesn’t affect any likelihood of receiving ‘help’ from my psychiatrist’s office.

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The reason I’m wondering is because a couple of years ago I was depressed due to my specific situation (I can elaborate on this, but it’s not the point of the question), all I had was suicidal thoughts everyday for a few years and didn’t have any motivation to do anything. Eventually I met a girl and that gave my life made a pretty drastic change, it helped me snap out of that suicidal state and gave me lots of motivation to get things done.

Now it’s been months since we broke up, and I’m in almost the same situation as I was before (life kinda sucks atm), however, although I’m not very motivated nowadays, I don’t feel suicidal or anything like that anymore.

The difference between before and now was that before I knew life wasn’t going to get better, and now I know that life will get better, it did get better before and it’s great when it does.

But yeah, anyway, I’m just wondering if people get seriously depressed more than once, or do they generally grow stronger after they get over the first one? Or is the answer ‘everyone is different’? Right now I know that there’s no way I can be suicidal like I was before, I realize it was dumb of me to have been thinking that way before.
It only took me 5 years of lurking to grow the balls to make a post in here lol
I think you can definitely get depressed more than once in your life. How old were you the last time you went through depression? I was 14 when I went through it. It’s good you aren’t suicidal now.
I was horrendously depressed (suicidal even) in high school, but more or less snapped out of it the year before graduation. I run into tough times like everyone else but I suppose my shifts in perspective cause me not to wallow in self-pity and helplessness.
I wasn’t too happy at 17, from there it got worse and worse until I was around 21. Those weren’t very good years for me >.>

Now you say people get depressed more than once, but can people get suicidal more than once?
Yes……god yes….

I don’t think depression is an ‘instance’, I think it’s more a mental persuasion (for lack of a better word). I think the ironic part about depression comes from the fact that it’s usually preceded by very high – high’s.

You have the attitude of things going well and you’re happy with the way they are progressing and some way or another they all turn to shit. Sometimes it’s because you put your faith in other people and they let you down and other times it’s because you saw something that wasn’t there in the first place.

I’ve been on and off theoretical suicide about half a dozen times in my life. I say theoretical because I get to the point that I ‘wish’ I could kill myself, but I never have either the balls or wherewithal (I know that’s a word but probably misspelled) to go through with it.

That’s not a bad thing to me though….because in the end no matter how dark and morbid my thoughts become, there’s always something that makes life worth living to you.
Well, speaking as a psychologist, depression does happen more then once in a lifetime. Especially with how life and situations in peoples lives are so different now then they ever have been.

With mine, my younger sister with downsyndrom had surgery recently, she was coughing up blood and i had to stay with her and my mother at the hospital for several nights with no sleep. My mother has a slipped vertibra diskin her neck, and now a degenerative disease making the bones in her neck disenigrate almost. The rich, pompus few on my mothers side of the family hate us for reasons unknown because of jealousy of not praising my cousin’s baby while we have problems with gabbriel (my sister) to worry about. My broher whom used to be deep into drugs, has found a better light in his life and in florida now getting everything situated, only to get into a car accident and now ahs tremendus back problems from time to time.

I can write a book from the things that have happend in my life, and still are in fact. And what i told you so far is only the tip of the ice berg for a lack of better words. And all in short.

But you know what? I keep high spirits still. I meditate over my thoughts, and think of things on a psychological, analytical, and philisohpical matter. Pace yourself, think over things, and relax. Things are bad in life now, and things may have been bad around to, and/or directed to just you from jealous people back in your highschool days. Keep peace of mind, and answers will come to you.

Our mind is like a pond of water, rush your hand through it quickly to find the answer, things become distorted, and blurry. Move your hand through it softly, gently, all becoems clear.

Just keep a steady mind and concious thought of today, and let tomorrow worry about tomorrow. Keep concious of what must be done tomorrow, but dont worry about whatever it may be so far ahead of time before its arrival.

I hope i was able to remedy any questions/problems. If not, i would be more then happy to give you a depper analysis. I only went off of what i can tell from you so far by your posts.
And yes, you do grow stronger from these depressions. But also keep in mind it may cripple you if you worry too much about them. Take them in as experience, and bend as metal, so that you may bend back. But never break, or you are doomed to be as brittle wax.
Hell yes you can be depressed more than once. I have felt depressed for a long time off/on but took two big hits. Once when I was ~13 and once basically…now? More so like a few weeks ago. I’m feeling pretty good right now really.
A lot of teens are normally depressed because of the surge of emotions and hormones and being so vulnerable to others and sometimes themselves. We first grasp our perspective of the world around us around age twelve. Many things can affect our mentality and how we perceive things. Environment, people, ourselves, genetics, etc. That’s why it is good to meditate over your thoughts, and keep a steady patient mind. Its never your fault for feeling depressed, you just need to meditate over your thoughts and feelings is all. And make your mental foundation stronger.
Its basically so that you can always have a fall back. But the real difference between the first time and this time is that you know you have to push thru such a period and work hard while making smart decisions in order to make circumstances better for yourself.
Depression isn’t the chicken pox. It’ll happen whenever your situation and mind call for it.

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To start things off, i’m 23, will be 24 in a few months. I graduated from Penn State last December with a degree in Accounting. The problems pretty much start there. I hated my major and didnt realize it until i was just about done and now I have no desire to work in the field, although I am not against trying it. I have no money, I don’t have a car, and I’m just living with my mom right now in a shit hole dead end town. Most of this is my fault, as I didnt try to get an internship/job while in school.

For the past 7 months or so I have been in a long distance relationship. As most of them do, there are ups and downs, but its been very very hard. We both would really like to try to make it work, but the only way for that to really happen is for me to move out near her in New Jersey, where I’m not so sure that I could afford to live. I have looked for jobs over there, applied online, done lots of stuff as far as taht goes, and I havent been able to find anything. I’m really just starting to feel like everything is falling apart before I even get a chance.

I am unhappy here at home. I have a good group of guys who I have been friends with since I was like 10, but it’s all becoming too routine and to be honest a waste of time to sit around and drink/hang out constantly. I wouldnt call it a depression, but I feel like Im in a huge slump right now with so many decisions that I need to make.

If I had a little bit of money and a car, I would probably certainly pack up the few belongings I have and head over near the girl and try to see how that situation played out. If things do work out there, great, if they dont though, she is the only person I know over there and I would become incredibly lonely.

This list goes on and on but I honestly feel like a complete failure and am going nowhere right now. Anyone been in a similar situation??
For your situation, I think thats exactly why people move out of small towns and into bigger cities. After a quarter century in the same small place, you have seen and done it all, its time for a change.

I just got done with college too. I guess its supposed to be a big milestone but I don’t feel any different, except maybe a bit depressed. Its nearly been nearly 2 decades since I started preschool and I still remember it like it was yesterday. I hate the passage of time.

I’m already starting to feel the boredom setting in. The last six months have been very busy and I always had something on my mind. I don’t have a job yet either, and I kinda don’t wanna start looking yet, but at the same time I don’t wanna sit home doing nothing. That might be fun for a week or two but anything past that I imagine myself getting pretty crazy, especially since most of my friends have jobs already.

Honestly I’d like to start a fambly, but thats not gonna happen anytime soon since I’m single atm and with lots of lingering emotional problems. I kinda wanna get a pup (havent had a dog since mine passed away 5 years ago). Its the perfect time cause I would actually have time to spend with him while he’s young. Once I get a job it will be out of the question.

Anyway I’m blabbering on in your thread so cliffs: I’m on pretty much teh same boat. I do kinda like the field I have my degree in though and I’m in a big city. What about a little travel? Take a trip somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. It would give you a little perspective. And you have a college degree, which is something most people in this world never manage to get. It opens doors for you that aren’t even visible for other people.
On weekends I have nothing to do, I just want to kill myself because of the boredom.
It has gotten to the point that every day is just a complete drag and I feel myself falling into a depression. I might even be there already. The girl situation is incredibly hard for me as I don’t want to just throw it away. I really want to try to move out there and make it work, but that is such a risk, emotionally and financially.

I need to somehow get a reliable car. Right now I cannot afford to just buy one, I don’t have a job yet since i graduated college, so I won’t be able to finance one. I need to get out of here soon, at least for a bit. I hate feeling so stuck and helpless.
I’m in a completely opposite situation from you. You have a girl though. That changes things right?

I am 22. Have a car, a great job and I am planning to move out of my parent’s place into the city.

But looking for a apartment depresses me in a way. I’ve always been single and never had a girl, so I’m thinking. Why am I doing this. I will be coming home every day after work sad and depressed, and every day will be the same.

Maybe I’m looking too much into this…

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