for a little background.

So I have gone down hill. I don’t know if its depression or what the fuck it is. I don’t want to get out of bed, I don’t want to do any work. I don’t want to meet friends. I feel they just don’t understand or I am not connecting with them. I am cynical and just wallowing in past. I never thought id have such a hard time accepting all this. I was fine for a month. But now I have just lost all perspective.

I don’t want him back but god knows how hurt I feel. I just cant seem to think about anything else.

Happy people piss me off. I am not this kind of person. I am actually a very nice person that loves life. But I just hate everyone and everything now.
I’m right there with you

my story here:

It hurts, bad. But better times will come, just do what you can to keep your mind occupied and focus on improving yourself.

Its hard for me to give much advice when I am in need of it myself, but at least you can know that others are going through the exact same thing. I’m sure we will all come out better off once the pain subsides.

I just read your story and I really hope you feel better. You sound like such an awesome guy. Makes me happy to know there are such nice people like you out there

I really wish you find true happiness.
Take care hun.

I think you should see the imperfections in the fact that she cant make good decisions. You Will find some one that will love you so much . I know I will too though it seems hard to believe right now ha.
The problem is the half assed decisions from his side and your side have made everything terrible.

Look if you do something, anything in life you have to give 100%, it wont do to do a relationship half. A typical lightswitch relationship goes on and off as a result of this.

Basically his indecisiveness was projected on you, this made you confused about his intentions, and you projected these feelings back on him by not going completely for gold in this relationship.

Furthermore you let your parents decide your life for you, making things even more complicated. It all comes down to this.

Decide what you want in life. It has to be your decision. Why? Because no one can live your life for you but you. Meaning you might have to go against your parents. They might go angry blah blah blah, but in the end its your life happyness we are talking about.

Look this happens when you allow others to play boss over your life. You become an emotional soccerball for others to play with, either this guy plays with your heart, or your parents shoot you in a direction as a ball to play with.

All forms of co-dependency are wrong. You have to stop being reserved and start being in charge of your own life without giving a damn about what others say.

So instead of letting him or your parents play with your heart say this.

What do i want? And if you want him, don’t allow him to go on and off with you. Go for gold, be with him 100% because you want it, and never let him go, nor let your parents allow to stop you at that. Be in charge of your own life for gods sake.
my parents would not have been against him. they would have been against the fact that i was with someone at this point. they never influenced my decision. he saw it as me not telling them as me being embarrassed of him or something. which was never true and i told him that.

i told him i don’t want a break. he kept attacking me… bringing some issue or the other.. like oh why do u even like me…. may be its just physical.(ps.we were extremely physically compatible ) i dint want a break.
i cried to him.. but then i sucked it up and said ok.

my heart always wanted him. and still does. i just feel that i cant go back to him. he dint leave any scope.

despite all that i feel miserable and miss him like no tomorrow. i cant even think of being with someone else. thats even more crazy to me. its not healthy for me. gosh i am stuck and I want to move on. I saw him the other day at uni and I was on the phone. He was with a friend. We saw eachother. I “ignored” him. Sigh… more like I just wanted to pass out and die in his arms. lol
When it comes to feelings and love in a relationship there is always one person who expresses and feels it more than the other. It is pretty obvious which one you are. The easiest way to get over him will be to get with someone else (and although it may take time, you have to start somewhere).
You may feel that it’s an unnecessary resolve however, that is simply a feeling that you have to overcome because it certainly will make you smile and you will blossom to your happy, life loving self once more.

Perhaps you should attempt to work on your physical appearence and try to make new friends among doing things you have not done before; One place to start is the gym or just exercise, it works wonders and is worth a try. You have to live, remember that if he cannot love you, the most important person in the world loves you… which is yourself , so dont let yourself down because you aren’t receiving the feelings you express to another person.

It would be great to see a future thread in which you’ve found an amazing person whom you couldn’t be happier with and a positive change in attitude. :]

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