I don’t know what I am trying to accomplish by posting this but I just need to get some perspective.

I was seeing this guy in the summer. I ended things with him when he told me was not sure if he wanted a relationship. A moth later he comes back “changed”. realized what a mistake he made. How he wanted me and no one else. Bla bla .

I really liked him and we got back together. I could see all the effort he put in the new relationship. But I realized I was still hurt by what happened at the end of summer and i was holding back.

Things began to go down. We were not getting along that well. He was not sure AGAIN what he wanted and wanted to go on a break. I said ok. When I said ok I was very confused and emotional. within a few days of the break I told him I dint want to see him anymore as it was so unfair towards me. I was hurt and dint deserve any of this. He said the problem was me as well as I was not that expressive and I could not tell my parents about him (due to my culture I am indian he’s white). i am in university. my parents would not have approved of me being in a relationship at this point. ( they are some what conservative)

We were together for 2 months the second time before it finally ended.

A month later I bump into him. He gave me a hug and I walked away (fast). I am not over him obviously. I am trying ….

He messages me saying he really misses me believe it or not . How he was such an idiot. He feels awful. I said I appreciate you realize that the way things went down were not good. He replies that he is not trying to get back with me but does not like the way things are with us.

I dint bother to reply. Because I don’t see the point.

Then why do I feel miserable and hurt to bits and confused.

To me his message seemed like he is trying to wipe his hands of any guilt. When we ended things he wanted to be friends but I said no.

What does he want from he. Why is he doing this to me. I was trying to get over him and now I feel I am back to square one.
My rules:

- If you give someone a chance to change, you give them one chance. If they fuck up, they are gone.

- People who "don’t know what they want" are automatically NEXTed. Whoever is right for you will know without question that they want to be with you. There will be no "not knowing what they want." Proof: When were super in love with some dude, were you like "well gee, I love this guy but I don’t know if I want to be with him or not?" Hell no.

Stay strong and maintain no contact.

He sounds like an emotional wreck. It sounds like when he’s with you he’s like whatever, and then when you’re gone he’s like "omg i miss you!" If you were to continue things with him it would just be more and more drama and games like that. We all know that, and you also know that, so if you make the choice to "try things again," you will get no sympathy from this forum because we just told you exactly what is going to happen

But seriously, just stay strong and keep up the no contact. Try to stay busy. It’s easier said than done.

edit – I dated an Indian chick for 3.5 years (I’m white). I know all about the family drama you’re talking about
Thank you, i just need to hear these things. And i don’t plan to get back with him. I am just trying to decipher his motives. As his actions seem so immature to me.

PS- I tried to explain to him about my family but he just wont get it.

He is trying to get back with you otherwise he wouldn’t be contacting you.

Its normal and it will pass.

Meh. Don’t try to analyze it. (Easier said than done, I know)

Sexual acts

He’s not doing this to you. You’re doing it to yourself. You can change your perspective.

You’ve already told him you don’t intend to be friends. Why are you even talking to him? Block him. As long as he is able to contact you, he will, and you are allowing it. Ask yourself "why am I doing this to myself?"

You need to move past the "what does he want from me" and "why is he doing this to me". You’re not powerless in this situation and you’re torturing yourself. Replace "he" with yourself in those statements and focus on you! Take care of yourself. Get out more. Stay busy. Set up coffee dates with every one of your friends
thanks for making some things clear. i just cant seem to think clearly at times. i start to doubt myself ..
He sounds extremely flakey and full of drama, to that end it wouldnt surprise me if he has been seeing other girls behind your back, during your ‘breaks’ or he met them when you broke up and he decided he preferred you better. If you continued to see him he would hurt your feelings over and over and nothing stable will ever come of it.

Either way, nothing about what he has done makes him worthy of a relationship and i would stay far far clear from him, having said that take confidence in the fact that despite not feeling it, he comes back to you for some reason. So you either have a very nice personality or are attractive, and use that confidence to find someone who appreciates you.

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