I’m going through a divorce

Sucks all around, tens years and 2 beautiful children…not my choice though I do accept half the blame…I’ll elaborate more tomorrow. just needed to get hits much off my plate tonight Hugs welcomed
I have a thread in the Vag you should check out:

hey man, basically…it gets better.
I know.
Sorry man.

My parents said they were getting divorced tonight too. Two children too, me and my brother. Well…I don’t know how it feels to be the ones getting divorced but I know how it feels to be the child so I’m sure I can understand some of your pain. Either way…it sucks…hope everything works out decently in the long run.

if it makes you feel any better, my parents divorced when I was 12. It caused me a little bit of trouble down the line, but nothing that i wasn’t able to work through and get over. I know it’s hard and it’s painful for you like it was for my parents. But, as long as you’re still a kind and loving parent to your children, they won’t end up resenting you or hating you. In fact, I appreciate that my parents were able to recognize that their unhappiness was unconquerable and was affecting us.

hey man, basically…it gets better.
I know.

what?

seriously? you got a divorce?
i’m in for details, too.

i hope said details includes both of you fighting to keep the marriage together

hate to say it this way but do what you can to get it done. don’t fight over savings or possessions or any of that shit. fight for the kids, fight for FUTURE payments/earnings/etc, but give her the house, her car, half of all the money you two have.

just get it done……the longer it drags out the more you pay lawyers so it’s not like you’re going to end up with more by fighting her for shit.

hate to say it this way but do what you can to get it done. don’t fight over savings or possessions or any of that shit. fight for the kids, fight for FUTURE payments/earnings/etc, but give her the house, her car, half of all the money you two have.

just get it done……the longer it drags out the more you pay lawyers so it’s not like you’re going to end up with more by fighting her for shit.

yeah, it’s best to recognize the finality and rip it off like a band-aid, quick and painless (well, as painless as possible).

in for details
Thanks folks..I will elaborate tomorrow, getting out of the house with a few buddies to take my mind of it tonight….
That is always a good thing, hope you’re having a good time.
Sorry man, I’ve been through a break up and now get to go through another one.
I know it’s not near your situation, but hanging out with friends was basically the only thing that helped me.

I never understood this statement.

My divorce drug out for like 18 months, and I paid all the money I had to pay to my lawyer upfront and it didn’t cost me one dime extra by dragging it out. And my lawyer actually told me that my divorce was one of the longest divorce cases she ever had.

I honestly think that this statement isn’t as true as people think it is.

I never understood this statement.

My divorce drug out for like 18 months, and I paid all the money I had to pay to my lawyer upfront and it didn’t cost me one dime extra by dragging it out. And my lawyer actually told me that my divorce was one of the longest divorce cases she ever had.

I honestly think that this statement isn’t as true as people think it is.

the bold part is what made you different. not many lawyers would agree to that.

I know way too many guys who fought for stuff and ended up losing it anyway because the bills piled up…….two people fight over a summer house and rack up $50k in lawyer bills so they had to sell the place to pay it. a friend fought to keep all his company stock and ended up having to sell much of it to pay for the fight. my brother fought to keep his retirement acct and almost had to gut it to pay for the fight.

I’m not saying hand her everything. I guess I’m saying don’t fight for things out of emotion. Don’t fight for it just because "it SHOULD be mine!" Get it done, get her out of your life, get moved on. You can make more money, you can buy other toys. But keeping her in your life while you fight over a motorcycle or a dog or furniture is stupid.
I’m working on posting the details, just been in a lull lately…I do appreciate the comments from my fellow OT’ers. I have my kiddos this weekend and plan on posting details Sunday

If it’s any consolation I look forward to reading it.
have a good time with your kids
I know I said I would post tonight but after having the kids I am just too wore out to write it up the way I want to. I am working on it but want to make sure I get the story straight. Bear with me ( I know you folks will ) Thanks for the hugs and encouragement so far
So basically she thinks we are more room mates than husband/ wife for the past year or two. Alot of it (imo) stems from us not spending time alone with each other, you see she is one of 8 siblings and her younger brother (29) was always coming over to hang out, always I say. We became friends and would drink it up at night watching sports and what not, but when I noticed it taking time away from my wife it was almost too late. When I asked him to not come over so much he said ok but still popped in everyday, just for 20 minuties or after work. Well then Friday, Sat & Sun rolls around and here he is at our house again for hours. When I say anything she tells me it’s her brother and he has every right to come over, long story but that is a part of it I think caused us to be where we are right now, of course I told her that and she tells me to stop blaming her family and that I take no blame for any of this….
Seems like there should be more to the story than this.

Definitely does. Everybody has 24 hours in their day. If time was that much of a big deal, you two could have planned a couple little getaways and had your sister’s brother watch the kids.

There is I am just too spent to type it all out right now…will get to it as it comes to me
I’m so sorry. I too am going through a divorce. It is one of the hardest things you will ever go through. But it will get better.
Hang in there
I am doing very well right now, thanks in part to some of Vipers posts and some other books I have picked up. I am on my way to recovery faster than ever, I still have hope we can mend this marriage but it si not a priority right now. right now I am focusing on mending myself
I am sorry for you I went thru a divorce a few yrs ago, it sucks and there’s no way around that. We went with the do the paperwork yourself thing (which meant I did it). That worked fine for us cuz there weren’t kids involved-I just took my stuff and left and he kept his shit. I was just so anxious to get away from him, I didn’t want to drag it out. Hind site, I wish I would ‘ve sued him for alimony and shit-he screwed me on some insurance and tax shit & that’s not to mention the abuse he put me thru in the marriage. But anyways, I’m kinda veering off, from personal experience, it will get better sometimes things just don’t work.

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