My bf of 2 years broke up with me last week and basically said he can’t be gay anymore. He wasnt really gay before he met me I guess, but we were in love. He grew up getting in and out of trouble for smoking weed and more. Ever since we broke up he has been going back to NVA a lot and hanging out with his old friends and getting wasted every night.

I do not want to see him throw his life away, I can’t take this. I want him, when we broke up I was mad at him about something stupid and so I didn’t even try to fight it, I acted happy. Now I fear I am too late…

He has a GF now, he met her the weekend before we broke up and I guess fell in love (:vomit. He still likes to cuddle with me, he has still kissed me since then.

He is tearing apart his family, his mom is worried about him and so is his little brother. So am I, all of our friends, its like hes self destructing.

He is coming home today from NVA and I am going to move out with my mom tonight I think.

This is a poem I just sent him, he didnt answer his phone I guess he got wasted last night…

I remember a different you
I remember a you who had a fire for Christ
I remember a you who had a call to ministry
I remember a you crying on my shoulder begging me not to let you drink anymore
I remember a you scared you would get locked up again
I remember a you telling me about how every time you get out you do good for awhile before throwing it all away
I remember a you making me promise I will not let that happen again
I see a you and its happening again
Why cant I stop you?
Let me stop you…

So he’s throwing away his life because he’s not gay any more?

Maybe i wasnt detailed enough cuz its really rough right now.

He is throwing away his life because he has started drinking again after having a childhood full of addiction problems, getting locked up for it 3 seperate times and always getting out, having a period of doing good then going right back to his habits…

What happens is he does good, he thinks he can control it and just wants to have fun with friends, starts drinking, loses control, moves on to harder stuff (past includes coke/weed/heroin) and then it consumes his life until he gets locked up/put in treatment again….and he is only 21
People who have addictions are people who aren’t really alive. They are being lived by their addictions instead. Your ex doesn’t need to be in a relationship at this moment, he needs to be in rehab , alcohol addictions, and addictions in general destroy more then you love. And i don’t know who’s idea it was to get wasted every day, but c’mon that’s just not healthy. I think that you shouldn’t have joined such a life, because regardless wether you’re gay or not, its not a justification to live a bad lifestyle and waste away your health on drugs,alcohol,sigarettes or other addictions.

All the booze is confusing his mind, and he doesn’t know what he wants anymore, furthermore(although i honestly don’t want to hurt your feelings) i think you love him more then he loves you.

I think you took a rather big gamble by going into a relationship were your partner still isn’t comfortable and undecided on what his preference on gender and sexuality is. In other words ‘he wasn’t ready yet’, i think you were more then ready and disregarded his position and because you loved him have pushed him into a relationship were he wasn’t just yet ready for.

And right now he’s such a mess, you should be helping him at this moment first foremost , because he needs help on his alcohol addictions, although it might be a bit delicate, i would definitly try to get him back on the right track again.

there isn’t much you’ll be able to do for him. he’s young and won’t realize the extent of the problem until he’s older and doesn’t have much to show for himself. let him figure it out on his own, it’s not your burden.

and i hope you’re not going to try and win him back. he’s sounds like a confused mess.
Hes on his way home from nva now.

He calls every 3 minutes crying saying he feels alone, he says he doesnt care anymore and doesnt want to feel anymore. He hangs up then calls right back.

IDK what to do

is he high/drunk right now?

Gosh no, if he was drinking and driving I would call the state troopers myself to report it.

Okay, just wanted to make sure.

I just wondered if that’s why he was so upset and spastic about things at the moment, with the calling and crying and whatnot.
So he is home, and we talked, and prob had the best sex of our lives, but now he wont talk to me

Run. Boy does not know what he wants…

Oh no, he knows. And he just got it.

No, if that were the case he would leave, not sit and cry.

Um, he did. He left and isn’t talking. Or did I misunderstand?

I guess the crying was earlier. I was under the impression he was still there. Maybe you are right. I have no idea.
No he cried, and I had to take his car away from him because he started shaking saying he needs to go get a drink. I called his mom to make sure it was ok to take the car (its in her name too) and she told me to do it. I came back this morning and fell asleep on the floor next to the bed. We cuddled some, I woke up made him breakfast and he talked a little bit.

I am trying to get him to go out to a movie or something, just to get him out of the house. He is sitting around moping the whole time. He had a GF for two days but he said it didnt work out, he told was trying to replace her with me (his words) and she said that she could tell he was still in love with me

I think a big part of this is his conflict with being gay and christian.

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