Do I spend money to fill a void in my life?

As most of you know I have recently gotten divorced.

Ever since the divorce I have been spending money like crazy. Here is the list so far (in order of purchase date):
Sirius satellite radio
Xbox 360 (with games/controllers)
Xbox Live
50" Plasma TV
5.1 Wireless Surround Sound with 5 disc upconvert DVD player

Now here is the thing, I haven’t just gone out and thrown all this on a credit card. I bought the Sirius with my tax return, the xbox with a bonus from work, the TV with my cashed out 401k (don’t comment on this please, thats another story), and the surround sound with the price match rebate I got after the TV went on sale.

I use the Siruis everyday at my new job and have been looking at getting one for a long time. I bought the xbox to keep myself busy when I wasn’t working so I wouldn’t be thinking about suicide or my exwife. I cashed out my 401k from my old job to pay for repairs to my car and used the rest to buy half of a plasma TV and then when I saw that the TV went on sale (gg Best Buy price match guarantee ) they credited me the difference and I bought a badass home theater sound system.

Am I trying to fill a void by making purchases? Or am I realizing that now that I am single (and have a pretty good paying job) that I can buy all the toys I wanted and not have to worry about a family?
Are you living within your means? Are you still putting money aside? As long as this isn’t getting unhealthy, and its not impacting your financial well being I don’t personally see anything wrong with it. Hell I just got a new job and I have the itch to drop some cash on a new toy maybe its natural.
Yeah, I can still pay all my bills, my car loan, inusrance, etc and I am throwing a bit of money into my savings account that I never touch
your are missing hookers and blow, I don’t think you are spending to spend maybe its just things you wanted that your wife didn’t let you have. All the things you bought kinda go together to.

Haha this is true. We had an old crappy CRT TV for the longest time until her sister gave us a old 47 inch (non HD) and she would never let me get a 360. Its amazing how much your bankroll increases after the breakup
I don’t know about a void but I’m pretty sure it’s common for depressed people to loosen up on their spending and buy a lot of stuff. When I went through a rough time I ate out a lot and racked up a little bill on my CC.
Sounds like you just want good music and like video games. Nothing wrong there.
I "cut loose" a little too after the divorce. Nothing crazy, just did what I wanted, without that angry little voice bitching in the background.

Its not too late to turn back

I sure as hell do.

Probably. So what? Go get laid
That doesn’t look excessive to me. You’re still living in your means so I don’t really see a problem especially since you are enjoying yourself with the things you bought.

You got that right. I’ve jumped 20 points on COD4 since I got the plasma tv

I sure as hell do.

Probably. So what? Go get laid

I like this suggestion
That’s exactly what I did when I divorced. I bought a bunch of shit I didn’t need, and now I regret it.

It didn’t take long to get out of it, but the damage had been done. It wasn’t damning or anything, but it was a waste. I had this friend who I’d go shopping with every weekend, and I’d buy shoes, jeans, etc. I’d buy her lunch/dinner, you name it. It was like I had to prove to everybody that I was self-sufficient, even if it meant being financially irresponsible.

Break the cycle when you recognize it. You’ll thank yourself in the end.
All these purchases are spread out over the course of about three months. And I have bought myself a new pair of jeans and two new shirts in the same time as well but I am actually pretty stingy with my money. Its just a few huge purchases that I make instead of lots of small ones. I try not to spend money I don’t have though. I am trying to keep an eye on it
I have been spending like crazy to, (not divorced, just depressed), and take it from me, it doesn’t work. In the last 2 months I’ve spent a shit load of cash, including a brand new car, and I’m still the same miserable fucker I was before. Only now, I have nicer stuff.

He doesn’t need that stuff but it sounds like hes getting quite a bit of enjoyment out of it. From what I can tell he is still spending his money responsibly; he isn’t incurring any debt from the purchases and he can still afford to pay his bills.

What’s your gamertag? I will add you and destroy you

I got a lot of enjoyment out of what I bought too, but it was temporary.

arkaybee

and yes, you prolly will ha. I’m not that great….yet.
Nothing in life can fill up the black hole in your soul ,exept by loving and helping other people. Its an expression of frustration to buy those things because you weren’t allowed to get them during the relationship. This only displays that there was an ongoing battle over control inside of the relationship, it seems both of you were extremely unhappy with eachother. I don’t think she accepted you for the person who you were, and pushed enormous pressure on you to change. Trying to change a person during a relationship is in general a bad idea, but sometimes its essensially needed. But it can come to a breaking point where you just have to escape from all the misery.

Don’t feel bad about the things you’ve bought, its just steam your venting, its true that you don’t need these things, but you definitly did need to release some steam from the kettle. If i where you id put the things away and not spend so much attention to it anymore. Rather don’t waste time and get your life organised. Computer games aren’t designed to make you happy, like any form of addiction they make your life go around in circles, breaking the cycle and moving forward with your life, is life changing, you need this life change, and you should only waste effort on those things that will make you go forward in life. This is something you should not underestimate, think about it,and free yourself by jumping out of the vicious circle of denial and computer game addiction.
I kinda did the same thing when I broke up with my ex but then again there were other issues at hand..

I bought a guitar and a z28

Nothing in life can fill up the black hole in your soul ,exept by loving and helping other people. Its an expression of frustration to buy those things because you weren’t allowed to get them during the relationship. This only displays that there was an ongoing battle over control inside of the relationship, it seems both of you were extremely unhappy with eachother. I don’t think she accepted you for the person who you were, and pushed enormous pressure on you to change. Trying to change a person during a relationship is in general a bad idea, but sometimes its essensially needed. But it can come to a breaking point where you just have to escape from all the misery.

Don’t feel bad about the things you’ve bought, its just steam your venting, its true that you don’t need these things, but you definitly did need to release some steam from the kettle. If i where you id put the things away and not spend so much attention to it anymore. Rather don’t waste time and get your life organised. Computer games aren’t designed to make you happy, like any form of addiction they make your life go around in circles, breaking the cycle and moving forward with your life, is life changing, you need this life change, and you should only waste effort on those things that will make you go forward in life. This is something you should not underestimate, think about it,and free yourself by jumping out of the vicious circle of denial and computer game addiction.

Whoa…who said I was addicted to computer games? I play them more now I have an awesome TV but I don’t think I am addicted. I shut it off when I need to go to bed (around 11pm, sometimes earlier) and only play for about an hour at a time on most days.

I feel that my life is in "recovery mode" right now. I have tried to dissapear from the world and have restricted talking to and hanging out with only a small selection of friends who have been there for me through the good and bad.
buying things wont make you happy forever, but it helps for a little while. if you are not going in debt, then i dont see the problem with those purchases.

just keep an eye on it. eventually you will run out of things to buy to keep yourself happy and you will have to find a new way to get over the divorce. but as long as you dont lean on that cruch forever, enjoy

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