Absent Mother

I am having a difficult time with my mother, she seems as if she does not want a relationship with me anymore. She has basically started ignoring me. This all started in November of last year (when I bought my home). Prior to that her and I would speak almost daily, and I made countless trips to NM to visit her and my family. In November things went south and I can’t really pinpoint why it happened.

I have asked her many times to come to AZ, offering to pay for 1/2 of a plane ticket (she tells me that she can’t come because either she has work or she can’t afford a plane ticket). I call/email and I never get a response. I asked her last year to come to AZ to spend Christmas with me, she declined. I asked again last month, and she won’t give me a straight answer.

The only somewhat explanation I have to this is that she is resentful towards me for the things I have done and accomplished. I know that sounds terrible. She has always made little "stabs" at me for things – getting married young, buying a house, going to school – almost as if she doesn’t want me to do the things that she wasn’t or isn’t able to do. I hate to think that this may be possible but I can’t think of anything else it could be.

I have asked her if I said or did anything to upset or offend her and she always says no chalking her absence up to being "busy with work"

Has anyone ever experienced anything like this or is my thinking out of line?
I could have written this myself about my own mom. I don’t know the reasons, I don’t know the answers and I don’t know what to do about it, but I understand what you’re dealing with. All I can say is it sure does suck and I’m sorry you’re in this too.
Do this, call her and say this:

Mom, i need to know why you are resentfull to me. I don’t believe you are busy and you are never giving me a straight answer to why you are acting this way towards me. (if she still says no say) Then why are you always ignoring me?

Seek the confrontation, and do not stop asking until you get to the bottom of this.

I’m so sorry you have to go through this as well, I know it sucks. However, thank you for sharing – I felt terrible thinking that a parent could be resentful but knowing I’m not the only one who is going through this makes it a little easier to digest.

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