i wish it weren’t so hard to swear off people i’ve known for a long time
known this girl for 6 years now and she’s done nothing but play with my emotions the whole time. i’ve written her off in the past but she always shoehorns herself back into my life.
she’s trying to get back in it right now but i’m having mixed feelings for her because i can’t trust her worth a shit. recently she sent a huge message via facebook when i didn’t answer her calls/texts after getting off with her and telling her that i didn’t love her and the reasons why i didn’t.
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okay so i was thinking about everything that was said last night. From what you said and what I said, and i totally think that its all bullshit. I totally understand where you are coming from, but i totally do NOT agree with it. Nevertheless, i understand. What i don’t understand is why you’re scared. Why are you scared? I mean all night on Sat and all day on Sunday I actually thought that you were starting to get over some of your issues with me, and its almost like you realized it too, and then you got scared and backed off. All because I mention matt. Okay the issue that im having with you having an issue with matt is tat he has absolutely NOTHING NOTHING and I repeat NOTHING to do with you. To be bluntly honest with you he is more jealous of you than you are threatened with him, which honestly he has more of a valid reason to be concerned because I would never want to be with him. There are circumstances on which why I even slept with him in the first place. Now I told you about him not to make you jealous or to make you feel insecure, and most def not for you to use him against me except maybe if we were joking around but all in all I told you because I am being completely open and honest with you because I believe you deserve that. I know that you have this big problem with the past but you need to understand is that the past is the past. There is nothing can change about it. Im sure there are a lot of things that you have done in your past that if it happened currently im sure id be pissed but if you didn’t do it to me I can’t be insecure or aggravated or any other bullshit that might come up in my feelings. So I still have no quite figured out why you feel like this. Matt is not and will not be part of my life from here on out. He was really never a substantial part of my life to begin with. Now josh, yes he is still part of my life but as of June 19th he won’t be any longer. I am NOT NOT NOT getting back with him ever. Im sure he makes you insecure when it comes to me because of the history there and that is totally understandable. But im telling you that there is no way I will ever ever EVEr get back with him. I cant apologize enough for the bullshit that I put you through because of me going back to him so many times. I am SO SORRY!!!! Guess what I really haven’t ever apologized to anyone and meant it as much as I mean it now. When it comes to this issue I don’t know another way to show or tell you im serious but to show you and that takes time. You told me yesterday that you didn’t want to date m as some girl to date though college. I didn’t want to date you though high school for that reason you can’t use it for college. Well I mean what the fuck? So im supposed to wait to date you until we both have jobs and are like 30?!! Honestly I want to get on with my life, I want to find a guy im going to share my life with someone that can handle all of my bullshit and love me all the more for it. That is what will make me happy. I am happy right now, but not happy for the rest of life. I am totally comfortable and totally happy with myself and who I am. Its sad to say that josh was that person who actually got used. He got used not me. He “supported” me while I got to find out who I was and understand myself. So in a way im glad that I didn’t date you through high school because I would have used you and that is what I personally believe I did to him- though not realizing it- I used him. I actually don’t feel bad about it because of the shit he did to me over the years. Josh is part of my past, my past makes me who I am. Not saying that the situations that you and I were involved in didn’t leave foot prints on my life. As well as every other person that has entered me life. Just like other girls have made you who you are and im okay with that. I like to hear about your past because it helps me understand who you are and why you are the way you are. I think that you are scared that you would become josh, and the things that I’ve done to him, thus in turn I might do them to you. What you need know that you ARE NOT HIM thank GOD but still I have never and will never compare you two. You are entirely different person and how I act and will act with you is entirely different. Just like I would act differently with any other guy. I don’t want to hate you I never have nor, with the exception of you fucking another girl in front of me, I don’t think I ever will. When I told you I was in love with you last night I meant it. I told myself I would never tell you that ever but I did, I opened up and said it. I think you just needed to know. I needed and wanted to know who I was and really be happy with myself before I was with you. I understand you think I said one thing and did another, but I never once told you that I loved you. I might have said some things and did some things and did another but a lot of times I just did those things to test myself and other people. In some situations I did those things to learn about me and other people. Just like the I’ve learned that I love cynical sarcasm. You said last night that you changed your attitude with regards to me. You said you are “more of an asshole” to me and you used “ to be really fucking nice to me” Guess what when you were really “fucking nice” I really didn’t like it in all honestly I’ve learned that I can’t have a really nice guy, because sometimes I get crazy, moody, senseless, and bored. I need someone to almost put me in my place and for the last couple of months you have done just that which is crazy because you used to let me really kinda walk all over you and I look back on that and I hate who I was when I was with you. I personally have grown into a very nice, understanding woman, and yes I will stay woman, because even though I still want the world in my hand on a silver platter and I may have more to learn about myself and the world in general. I honestly believe that people never stop learning and I personally will never stop wanting the world. That is like my little issue. I need you to be that ass because sometimes for example I get really really angry and I throw every single pair of my shoes out of my closet single handedly all 40 pairs and then throw them all back in the closet because I can’t find one pair. That’s how mad I get and honestly I’ve been like that talking to you and you’ve got me down from that level back down to reality. I need that. I cried myself to sleep last night and I’ve never done that before for any guy period end of story. You say that you didn’t love me but I don’t believe you because if you didn’t me sleeping with other guys wouldn’t be an issue and it is. So I really can’t think of anymore to say to you about this. I really need to have some feed back on this because I just poured out my whole life to you. k thanks, |
that’s the most honest she’s ever been with me up front. i want to trust her but even after her coming up here for a few nights a couple times within the past couple of weeks i still don’t think i can. she communicates only when she wants to communicate, when i want to talk she never has "time."
really, this is mostly a vent. if you read all of that, tell me what you think from the limited knowledge of our background that i’ve given. if you didn’t but have totally written off people in the past and overcome their repeated "attacks" to get back into your life only to put you on an emotional roller coaster, tell me how.
if you stop being a people pleaser you will be happier…. take up a hobby and be GENUINELY BUSY…. too busy for her.
i have hobbies but they’re expensive
i need to get another job, my personal life was better when i was working. was a good balance, made me appreciate good times more.
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i have hobbies but they’re expensive
i need to get another job, my personal life was better when i was working. was a good balance, made me appreciate good times more. |
ok i read it
ok the girls a whore dating Josh and Matt? Sweet friend….
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I have never and will never compare you two. You are entirely different person and how I act and will act with you is entirely different. Just like I would act differently with any other guy. |
she just lied… she compared the 2 of you….
she seems desperate. i dont know if you will be happier or not without her. but i think that you guys have some differences that you will never completely recover from
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ok the girls a whore dating Josh and Matt? Sweet friend….
she just lied… she compared the 2 of you…. |
she was married to josh. matt was their roommate. she fucked matt when she told josh she was getting a divorce in november, which was right when she started to force her way back into my life after more than a year of no contact.
i know she’s a liar, that’s why i don’t trust her. she said she’s loved me since she met me 6 years ago but she’s fucked 4 guys since.
at one point, yes i did love her. i loved her as much as i could with her being in a relationship with someone else, if that makes sense. i genuinely don’t love her anymore. i care about her in the sense that i wouldn’t wish physical harm upon her and some as a friend but i realize its better to blow her off completely as she’s never brought me any good. my problem is that i can’t ignore her forever. she gives up after a while but always comes back.
wow she seems like a good decision maker. 4 guys in her life ever isnt bad though…. you dont need to be her ‘fall back guy’
what you do need is a girlfriend who’s not her.
its hard to swear people off like that; the best you can do is let them run free and live their life. but you can untangle yourself from them too. the only way for you to keep her out of your life is to ACTIVELY AVOID HER. Meaning, call screening. dont reply to that facebook message….. etc
Rule: Always trust your gut, if you think something is wrong, something is.
Rule: Be ruthless in cutting off users, losers and abusers. If someone confuses you constantly, it’s a red flag. Here is the list of red flags:
– Red Flags Avoid these people with these patterns: Abusive parents, abusive ex-husbands, abusive ex-boyfriends, alcoholism, drugs, talks about ex on first, second dates, negativity, disrespectful, confuses you, arrogance/condescending, Cheated in past, self-centered, Breaks Dates, Makes excuses, lies, cusses a lot, No Class, Inflexible, Distrusting, Bitter, Nags, gossips. Women who say something, but their actions and body language reflect different signals. Women with low self-esteem, fixated on money, or have psychological problems, or psychiatric problems. Remember, life isn’t fair. I personally fall into some of these areas, and I’d expect a female to be ruthless in cutting me off too if she felt I wouldn’t be a good mate for her.
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she’s trying to get back in it right now but i’m having mixed feelings for her because i can’t trust her worth a shit. recently she sent a huge message via facebook when i didn’t answer her calls/texts after getting off with her and telling her that i didn’t love her and the reasons why i didn’t. |
Rule:
1: Never go back
2: She hasn’t changed.
3: You’re going to get hurt some more.
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that’s the most honest she’s ever been with me up front. i want to trust her but even after her coming up here for a few nights a couple times within the past couple of weeks i still don’t think i can. she communicates only when she wants to communicate, when i want to talk she never has "time." |
See red flags.
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really, this is mostly a vent. if you read all of that, tell me what you think from the limited knowledge of our background that i’ve given. if you didn’t but have totally written off people in the past and overcome their repeated "attacks" to get back into your life only to put you on an emotional roller coaster, tell me how. |
By realizing the drama they create isn’t worth the cost to benefit. Everything is a cost to benefit ratio with me. I want to be "in the green" with my relationships, just like with my money, not emotionally and psychologically in the red. Emotional bankruptcy is something you can prevent, but you have to recognize when it’s time to cut a losing stock, just like a losing relationship.
I’ve seen guys in the stock market wait and wait, and wait hoping the stock will go back up, only to see it become worthless eventually and then they get pissed off because the stock market fucked them over. Bullshit, they fucked themselves over. They weren’t willing to let go of a loser. You have to see the sign of the times. You have to investigate the company behind the stock carefully to make sure it has substance (the company), to make sure it’s not just an over-valued piece of shit stock that’s going to crash because there is no intrinsic value. The same goes for the women in your life and your friends. You have to keep detached until and investigate until you’re ready to invest. People get too attached to bullshit stocks just like bullshit people.
Relationships are the same way. What does a woman have to offer me? What does a friend have to offer me? What is their intrinsic value and character? Are they going to come through for me when shit hits the fan? Is this stock going to stay strong even when the market is going into a recession? I’m all for investing in my relationships, but they have to cost less than they benefit me. I must get a lot out of it, not just headaches and stress.
I’ll be writing this cute little post as though I’m you, it helps it flow better. After reading it, I was actually compelled to respond from an outside point of view, because I saw exactly what she was trying to do, and man did it get under my skin.
She’s a user, a very sneaky one and the gullible and naive easily fall prey. She’s an emotional vampire, seriously, and she’ll drain anyone she comes in contact with nice and slowly.
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okay so i was thinking about everything that was said last night. From what you said and what I said, and i totally think that its all bullshit. I totally understand where you are coming from, but i totally do NOT agree with it. |
Of course you don’t agree with it, because it’s the truth. Vampires don’t like holy water, superman doesn’t like kryptonite, stupid bitches don’t like truth. See how it works cutie?
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Nevertheless, i understand. What i don’t understand is why you’re scared. Why are you scared? |
Because you’re a liar and I don’t trust liars.
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I mean all night on Sat and all day on Sunday I actually thought that you were starting to get over some of your issues with me, and its almost like you realized it too, and then you got scared and backed off. |
You thought wrong.
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All because I mention matt. Okay the issue that im having with you having an issue with matt is tat he has absolutely NOTHING NOTHING and I repeat NOTHING to do with you. |
The guys at OT told me that it’s a red flag when girls bring up ex-boyfriends. They’re right.
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To be bluntly honest with you he is more jealous of you than you are threatened with him, which honestly he has more of a valid reason to be concerned because I would never want to be with him. |
And yet, why is it I don’t believe you? Hmmm
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There are circumstances on which why I even slept with him in the first place. |
Never want to be with him,……but you slept with him, interesting.
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Now I told you about him not to make you jealous or to make you feel insecure, and most def not for you to use him against me except maybe if we were joking around but all in all I told you because I am being completely open and honest with you because I believe you deserve that. |
You’re a lying whore, and you intentionally brought it up because you know that I know that it’s going to fuck with my head, but OH no, not this time.
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I know that you have this big problem with the past but you need to understand is that the past is the past. |
Those who fail to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it, what do you think I am, fuckin’ stupid?
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There is nothing can change about it. Im sure there are a lot of things that you have done in your past that if it happened currently im sure id be pissed but if you didn’t do it to me I can’t be insecure or aggravated or any other bullshit that might come up in my feelings. |
No, I’m not a douche bag like you, I actually "like" people.
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So I still have no quite figured out why you feel like this. |
Because I feel what I feel. Feelings are like smoke alarms. When they go off there is a god damn good reason, because there is fuckin’ smoke!
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Matt is not and will not be part of my life from here on out. He was really never a substantial part of my life to begin with. |
So you’re saying you fuck insubstantial people.
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Now josh, yes he is still part of my life but as of June 19th he won’t be any longer. |
It’s February 18th, not June 19th, so obviously we have a problem you stupid bitch.
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I am NOT NOT NOT getting back with him ever. Im sure he makes you insecure when it comes to me because of the history there and that is totally understandable. |
No, what makes me insecure is that you’re speaking in womanese. What I hear is "I am, am, am getting back together with him, and he’s better than you, that’s why I keep bringing him up, and trust me, we don’t just have history, we have "a present" too, I hope that’s understandable."
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But im telling you that there is no way I will ever ever EVEr get back with him. |
Translation from Womanse to logic: "I’m telling you, I will be fuckin’ him soon enough, just thought you should know."
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I cant apologize enough for the bullshit that I put you through because of me going back to him so many times. |
1 time, shame on you. Second time, shame on me. Slut.
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I am SO SORRY!!!! |
Actions speak louder than words, which is obviously true because I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but then again I have my hands over my ears and I’m hoping you spontaneously combust into a million skittles in front of a group of fat kids.
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Guess what I really haven’t ever apologized to anyone and meant it as much as I mean it now. |
I bet you say that to all the ladies, er… I mean nice guys.
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When it comes to this issue I don’t know another way to show or tell you im serious but to show you and that takes time. |
I’m looking for a bridge I can’t burn down, but you’re too quick for me, someone call the fire department.
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You told me yesterday that you didn’t want to date m as some girl to date though college. I didn’t want to date you though high school for that reason you can’t use it for college. |
You’re an idiot, seriously. Manipulative cunt.
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Well I mean what the fuck? So im supposed to wait to date you until we both have jobs and are like 30?!! |
That or until you test negative for Syphillis.
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Honestly I want to get on with my life, I want to find a guy im going to share my life with someone that can handle all of my bullshit |
Translation: "I want to get on, get off, and get out. I want to find a guy I can use, and abuse, something that can handle not only my bullshit, but also betrayl, deception, confusion, negativity, drama, as well as what can only be defined as an irrational need for attention."
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and love me all the more for it. That is what will make me happy. |
Translation continued: "And like me because I’m cute but have absolutely not substance or value besides being his filthy cum receptable for the population paste his best friend will be injecting into me on a regular basis without him knowing."
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I am happy right now, but not happy for the rest of life. |
Of course you’re happy, because you’re making me miserable.
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I am totally comfortable and totally happy with myself and who I am. |
That’s because you have no soul.
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Its sad to say that josh was that person who actually got used. He got used not me. He “supported” me while I got to find out who I was and understand myself. |
And that’s exactly what you want to do to me, but I’m not some blind bumbling dipshit who is going to fall into your little trap.
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So in a way im glad that I didn’t date you through high school because I would have used you and that is what I personally believe I did to him- though not realizing it- I used him. |
Oh you realized it. You knew exactly what you were doing and it’s the same thing you’re trying to do to me right now, and that’s fuck me up.
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I actually don’t feel bad about it because of the shit he did to me over the years. |
Typical, taking no responsibility. Boo hoo "Oh poor me, I know I did wrong, BUT……………….I’m the victim, it’s his fault."
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Josh is part of my past, my past makes me who I am. |
Clearly, I wish I could go back in time and kick your mother in the stomach while she was pregnant with you.
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Not saying that the situations that you and I were involved in didn’t leave foot prints on my life. |
Funny you mention footprints, because everytime I come in contact with you, I’m covered in them!
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As well as every other person that has entered me life. |
And your vagina.
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Just like other girls have made you who you are and im okay with that. |
Come on now, we know a couple girls have made you who you are too. *wink wink*
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I like to hear about your past because it helps me understand who you are and why you are the way you are. |
No, you like to hear about my past so you can use it to manipulate me like a puppet on a string.
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I think that you are scared that you would become josh, and the things that I’ve done to him, thus in turn I might do them to you. |
It’s not so much a fear, as in…..a knowing.
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What you need know that you ARE NOT HIM thank GOD but still I have never and will never compare you two. |
You just did not 2 minutes ago.
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You are entirely different person and how I act and will act with you is entirely different. Just like I would act differently with any other guy. |
You just did it again!
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I don’t want to hate you I never have nor, with the exception of you fucking another girl in front of me, I don’t think I ever will. |
You know, that sounds quite enticing right about now.
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When I told you I was in love with you last night I meant it. I told myself I would never tell you that ever but I did, I opened up and said it. |
And I love……..I’d love to see you die in a fire.
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I think you just needed to know. I needed and wanted to know who I was and really be happy with myself before I was with you. |
Great I’m glad we could wait 6 years to do this. Seriously, I really appreciate it.
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I understand you think I said one thing and did another, but I never once told you that I loved you. |
Because you did say one thing and do another, but thanks for trying to turn it back around on me.
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I might have said some things and did some things and did another but a lot of times I just did those things to test myself and other people. |
You should join a 12 step program. Step 1: Admitting you have a problem.
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In some situations I did those things to learn about me and other people. |
Yeah, to learn how far you could push them before they came after you with an ax.
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Just like the I’ve learned that I love cynical sarcasm. |
Somehow I don’t think sarcasm is the right word. More like cynical euphemism. We don’t want to accidentally misuse words now.
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You said last night that you changed your attitude with regards to me. You said you are “more of an asshole” to me and you used “ to be really fucking nice to me” Guess what when you were really “fucking nice” I really didn’t like it in all honestly I’ve learned that I can’t have a really nice guy, because sometimes I get crazy, moody, senseless, and bored. |
No, all women are crazy, moody, senseless and bored, you’re an entirely different breed.
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I need someone to almost put me in my place and for the last couple of months you have done just that which is crazy because you used to let me really kinda walk all over you and I look back on that and I hate who I was when I was with you. |
I appreciate you reminding me of that again and making me responsible for your feelings. It’s really nice to be reassured, seriously…..please die.
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I personally have grown into a very nice, understanding woman, and yes I will stay woman, because even though I still want the world in my hand on a silver platter and I may have more to learn about myself and the world in general. |
Translation: "I haven’t changed, I’m still a coniving bitch who uses people, and hopefully you’re still a sucker, because I’ve been craving a nice guy, and you’re just puuuuurfect."
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I honestly believe that people never stop learning and I personally will never stop wanting the world. That is like my little issue. I need you to be that ass because sometimes for example I get really really angry and I throw every single pair of my shoes out of my closet single handedly all 40 pairs and then throw them all back in the closet because I can’t find one pair. |
You’re right, people don’t stop learning. Those who learn from the past, never stop learning. Remember the past? Yeah we talked about that a few minutes ago. You know what else I’ve learned? I’ve learned that when I put my hand on a hot stove, that I’m going to get burned. When I let you into my life, I’m going to get emotionally raped, and then you’re going to blame me for it.
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That’s how mad I get and honestly I’ve been like that talking to you and you’ve got me down from that level back down to reality. I need that. |
No, what you need is to be chemically spayed so you don’t breed and bring other retards like yourself into the world.
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I cried myself to sleep last night and I’ve never done that before for any guy period end of story. |
Good, I’m glad. More is better, better is good.
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You say that you didn’t love me but I don’t believe you because if you didn’t me sleeping with other guys wouldn’t be an issue and it is. |
I see what you did there. You’re a tricky one. No seriously, go fuck yourself.
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So I really can’t think of anymore to say to you about this. |
God I hope you mean it.
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I really need to have some feed back on this because I just poured out my whole life to you. |
No, you created a work of fiction. Something tells me it’s not going to be a best seller though. Keep your chin up kid.
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k thanks, |
You are the weakest link, …..seriously. Please swallow a handfull of sleeping pills.
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