What to do next…

I’m really bad at this whole dating thing.

All of my past girlfriends have been because of dancing. Tap, ballet, jazz, etc. Most of the girls there were really sheltered and it was easy for me to get a girlfriend because they were in such high supply and I was in such high demand (same age, male and not gay. done deal.)

I’m pretty much done with dancer chicks because they are fucking high maintenance as fuck and annoying as hell.

This new girl I’ve been on a few dates with has been very awesome. I don’t know what to do next. Usually if a girl isn’t completely smitten with me in 2 or 3 days, I usually just aborted and moved on to the next one.

The last date we went on was really good. We had some lunch and then went for a walk in the park. We talked had fun, had laughs. The only awkward situation was when we happened upon a tree stump and on the face of the stump, there was a big <3 carved in there with "C+M" in it.

Her name is Megan and mine is Chris.

She just looked at me with the look and I quickly saved the situation with, "Remember when we did that all those years ago? Oh how the time has passed…" and continued our walk.

Her birthday was also on the 20th so I gave her a birthday gift of a movie she’s been wanting and a card that I had made with some calligraphy shit I have.

Where to next? What kind of date should the next one be?
dvd n your apartment? 3rd or 4th date, a lot of girls expect sex….else friendzone

She’s the kind of girl who wants to be in love with someone before having sex. Which I don’t mind too much. If I’m hurting for it, I can always just run back to the high-maintenance bitch girls until we’re "official" or whatever the fuck.

But, I probably won’t. I really like this one, and hopefully can make this work for long term.

She’s the kind of girl who wants to be in love with someone before having sex. Which I don’t mind too much.

But, I probably won’t. I really like this one, and hopefully can make this work for long term.

well that is going to suck after about a 2 weeks to a month. make her official as soon as possible to get the ball rolling then. some girls have idiotic time tables in their head.

id still say go for the DVD; if she doesnt put out, you get to cuddle/make out whatever anyway.

If shes not into that then dinners good, ice skating, snowboarding, something active is great. Karaoke is one of my faves.

If I’m hurting for it, I can always just run back to the high-maintenance bitch girls until we’re "official" or whatever the fuck.

BTW if you want a ltr with this girl you might want to reconsider your attitude, relationships work best if you go in with the best intentions.
oh other question. have you kissed her. its expected at about the 2nd date; latest 3rd, some will give you 4 but after that its over— friendzone.

usually after 2 and no kiss = friendzone….

well that is going to suck after about a 2 weeks to a month. make her official as soon as possible to get the ball rolling then. some girls have idiotic time tables in their head.

id still say go for the DVD; if she doesnt put out, you get to cuddle/make out whatever anyway.

If shes not into that then dinners good, ice skating, snowboarding, something active is great. Karaoke is one of my faves.

BTW if you want a ltr with this girl you might want to reconsider your attitude, relationships work best if you go in with the best intentions.

I know. That’s why I’m going to just hold out. No big deal.

She’s kind of new to town so I’ve just been showing her around town. She’s really into getting spooked by things. If you remember I made a big thread about going out to a graveyard and had a ball out there. I told her about it and she wants to go see it. So I’m thinking maybe go grab some food and then head out to the graveyard.

oh other question. have you kissed her. its expected at about the 2nd date; latest 3rd, some will give you 4 but after that its over— friendzone.

usually after 2 and no kiss = friendzone….

She kissed me on the cheek after I dropped her off. I usually don’t make that move until the third date.

I know. That’s why I’m going to just hold out. No big deal.

She’s kind of new to town so I’ve just been showing her around town. She’s really into getting spooked by things. If you remember I made a big thread about going out to a graveyard and had a ball out there. I told her about it and she wants to go see it. So I’m thinking maybe go grab some food and then head out to the graveyard.

Sounds like a thoughtful date, all be it creapy, but thoughtful. Get some food, do the graveyard thing, depending on time possibly back to your place for a movie or TV and dessert (real dessert).

Doing something semi-active but being able to still talk is great for advancing any relationship.

Make the move to kiss her by the end of the night, I’m sure you’ll know when a good time will be (graveyard is a cool place to remember where your first kiss as a couple was).
third date is perfect ‘move making’ time, especially since it seems to be going so well!
You could wine & dine her with a little live music somewhere in the equation, take her on a beach walk, a candle-lit picnic *aww*. I’m sure if you google ‘perfect date’ or something along those lines you’ll find something you like =P
Graveyard sounds super creepy and might get you a lote of close moments and hugs, hence the appeal of the ‘scary movie date’.
Whatever you decide make sure it’s something you’re at least semi-sure you’ll both enjoy. You could even go bowling!
Nothing wrong with taking it slow…actually it’s kind os sweet. Do something fun on your next date..a together thing..bolwing as suggested, or just go out and goof around. Incidentally, running back and getting dancing dorked is not a good idea and I wonder where your morals and feelings lie with this new girl. How would she feel if she knew you did that? Just wondering…

Who isn’t. Until you get a lot of experience by making a lot of mistakes, you’ll struggle. We all go through it.

All of my past girlfriends have been because of dancing. Tap, ballet, jazz, etc. Most of the girls there were really sheltered and it was easy for me to get a girlfriend because they were in such high supply and I was in such high demand (same age, male and not gay. done deal.)

I often recommend dancing to men who are interested in meeting women. It’s wise to choose activities you enjoy which have a High female/Male ratio. I prefer 1 guy to 10 women, personally. Competition is low, success rate is high.

I’m pretty much done with dancer chicks because they are fucking high maintenance as fuck and annoying as hell.

You couldn’t have possibly dated them all. Don’t let your experience of a few, even more than a few stop you. I assure you, there are good women who enjoy dance. But at any rate, you do have plenty of other places to meet women. Again, look for high female ratios.

This new girl I’ve been on a few dates with has been very awesome. I don’t know what to do next. Usually if a girl isn’t completely smitten with me in 2 or 3 days, I usually just aborted and moved on to the next one.

Have you touched her hand, shoulder, escalated past the comfort zone by kissing her? Mystery Kiss close champ!

You: Would you like to kiss me?
Her: Yes (So you two kiss)

You: Would you like to kiss me?
Her: Maybe (So you say "Let’s find out" and you kiss her"

You: Would you like to kiss me?
Her: No (So you say "Well I didn’t say you could, it just looked like you had something on your mind")

If she says no, it means you have to build more comfort with her, continue talking, and escalate physical touch by playing games where you two use your hands together. Find ideas online, such as palm reading (Even if you don’t know how, bullshit your way, it’s all in fun)

Make up games with your hands. The more you touch, the more comfortable she’ll get. But make sure that touching is indirect and gradually personal.

The last date we went on was really good. We had some lunch and then went for a walk in the park. We talked had fun, had laughs. The only awkward situation was when we happened upon a tree stump and on the face of the stump, there was a big <3 carved in there with "C+M" in it.

The perfect opportunity to say "Wow, I didn’t know Destiny sent written messages!" Or, since the moment has passed you could say "Remember that Tree with the C/M and heart carved in it? Wow, that was strange, it’s either a really strange coincidence, or God thinks you have the hots for me."

Be playful.

Her name is Megan and mine is Chris.

Hi Chris.

She just looked at me with the look and I quickly saved the situation with, "Remember when we did that all those years ago? Oh how the time has passed…" and continued our walk.

What a wasted opportunity, but fortunately for you I gave you an "afterthought" idea to reignite the idea again. Use it, the ladies love my wit.

Her birthday was also on the 20th so I gave her a birthday gift of a movie she’s been wanting and a card that I had made with some calligraphy shit I have.

I know, I saw the last thread.

Where to next? What kind of date should the next one be?

A private date in your bedroom. Seriously. Pick her up, pick up her favorite fast food or order a pizza, and go back to your house. Have some cool little "intimate" ideas in mind to get you two touching a little more. The "hand" ideas work well. If you were sitting in front of me I’d show you a bunch, but they’d be impossible to convey by writing without me investing a lot of time.

You: Whoa, let me see your hand?
Her: What? Huh? Why?
You: I just noticed something.
Her: *Gives her hand)
You: Wow (You stroke her hand a little, using your index finger.
Her: What is it, what are you seeing?
You: This right here (Point at some random line)
Her: Oh?
You: This is your line of success. It tells you the things you’ll achieve in your life!
Her: Really? No way (Or…I don’t believe in this stuff)

If she believes, continue:

You: Yeah, it shows you’re going to have really strong relationships with good friends, and meet a really great guy. It also shows you’ll excel in your career!
Her: OMG, really?
You: (Start stroking her hand, and touching her fingers)
You: Oh and this over here, this is your line of intimacy. You’re a really sensitive person romantically, you really like to show your parter you care, by giving them kisses, and saying you care a lot. Oh and you like to give them little gift reminders once in awhile.
Her: OMG that is so me! Wow.

If she doesn’t believe.

You: Oh really? Well you know the ancient chinese said that you can tell a lot by someones hands, very specific scientific observable things.
Her: Really? Like what?
You: Well you see here (Point to her palm below the fingers). Here you have very soft skin, (Or caloused) and it means you’re not extremely physically active, such as lifting heavy items a lot, or in ring gymnastics. It shows you prefer gentler activities.
Her: Wow, that’s true.
You: And here, your nails, oh wow they are nice nails (Assuming she doesn’t bite them), these show you’re obviously not a nail biter and that you take pride in caring for your appearance. Your nails are healthy, meaning you eat reasonably well too.

This is all bullshit. Some of it’s a little true kind of, but most of it’s bullshit. You get the point.
That tree stump incident could have landed her in your bed if you played it off correctly, just for future reference

kiss on the cheek doesnt count as a kiss.. . but oh well. good luck, she prolly wants to get dicked down as much or more than you want to give it to her

no girl says "I love to fuck all the strangers im not in love with"
I kind of want to take it slow with this one. I’m not too worried about it. That’s the vibe I’m getting from her as well.

I wasn’t the one who suggested the graveyard, that was something of her fascination and she mostly suggested it. So I figure that’ll probably be our next date.

How should I have played off that tree stump thing?

How should I have played off that tree stump thing?

You can still play it. I wrote about it up above.
Whoa, cool. I don’t know how I missed that I read everything.

Thanks.

Whoa, cool. I don’t know how I missed that I read everything.

Thanks.

Well I tend to write so much that the options overwhelm people sometimes. I like to be thorough.
lol.. you went back there for a pic? stalkerish, dont let her see that as your background on your pc

edit: til after you hook up

lol.. you went back there for a pic? stalkerish, dont let her see that as your background on your pc

edit: til after you hook up

Nah, I took it while we were there really quick. I forgot about it until just a few minutes ago.

Her idea.
Ok, so I’m so lost.

I take time to learn a bunch of different skills so I can be useful in any given situation. But with this, I just suck so much. I don’t know how interested she is in me. She answers my phone calls and replies to my texts immediately. She likes to go have lunch and shit with me, but I don’t know how to tell if she’s contemplating some kind of relationship with me or not.

I think I might just be freaking out a little and overthinking this too much. She’s a smart girl and pretty independent, so I don’t know if I’m just reading her wrong or not.

We’ll see, she had to work all weekend so there was no date. I’m going to try again for this coming weekend and hopefully make some progress.

Ok, so I’m so lost.

I take time to learn a bunch of different skills so I can be useful in any given situation. But with this, I just suck so much. I don’t know how interested she is in me. She answers my phone calls and replies to my texts immediately. She likes to go have lunch and shit with me, but I don’t know how to tell if she’s contemplating some kind of relationship with me or not.

Have you been escalating the relationship? Holding hands, touching her, being playful? Or do you two just sit and talk "comfortably?"

I think I might just be freaking out a little and overthinking this too much. She’s a smart girl and pretty independent, so I don’t know if I’m just reading her wrong or not.

When I’m confused that’s when I turn up the heat and start pushing boundaries. She’s sending cues all the time. Does she laugh at what I say? Does she smile at me while she talks to me? Does she call me a lot? Does she touch me ever, does she stroke her hair when I talk? Does she try to make plans with me.

At some point I just go for the kiss with the Kiss Close. It’s my magic bullet for knowing where the ledge is.

We’ll see, she had to work all weekend so there was no date. I’m going to try again for this coming weekend and hopefully make some progress.

If you ask to make a date and the person says "Oh sorry I can’t" — then say, well let me know when you’re available, I’d like to take you out.

If the person counters with an offer, you’re gold, if they don’t and just say "ok, I’ll call you something or something that’s not concrete" — you know it’s going no where. People know when they have free time for someone they like.

Yes. All of that.

When I’m confused that’s when I turn up the heat and start pushing boundaries. She’s sending cues all the time. Does she laugh at what I say? Does she smile at me while she talks to me? Does she call me a lot? Does she touch me ever, does she stroke her hair when I talk? Does she try to make plans with me.

At some point I just go for the kiss with the Kiss Close. It’s my magic bullet for knowing where the ledge is.

She does everything except call. She’s kind of busy trying to work and do school and hates talking on the phone (as do I) so she’ll text me and I’ll call her once in a while. But we mostly just communicate via texting as it’s most convenient for the both of us. And she does try to make plans. She smiles, she laughs, she plays with her hair, etc.

If you ask to make a date and the person says "Oh sorry I can’t" — then say, well let me know when you’re available, I’d like to take you out.

If the person counters with an offer, you’re gold, if they don’t and just say "ok, I’ll call you something or something that’s not concrete" — you know it’s going no where. People know when they have free time for someone they like.

She makes counter offers.

Great

She does everything except call. She’s kind of busy trying to work and do school and hates talking on the phone (as do I) so she’ll text me and I’ll call her once in a while. But we mostly just communicate via texting as it’s most convenient for the both of us. And she does try to make plans. She smiles, she laughs, she plays with her hair, etc.

Same thing in my eyes and theirs.

She makes counter offers.

Then it’s time to escalate to the kiss. The next time you two are playing around, touch her hands, shoulder, or something along those lines, pull her head towards you and say:

You: "Whoa, what did you do to your hair?
Her: What, why, what’s wrong?
You: It smells.
Her: Really? Is it bad?
You: Yeah, seriously.
Her: OMG
You: Psych!!111 It’s smells awesome.
Her: Slapping you.
You: *grabs a hand to stop her from slapping you*
You: Would you like to kiss me?
Her: Huh, why, why are you asking me?
You: Well, it seems like you were thinking about it by the look on your face.
Her: Well….

Here she’s say either Yes, in which you respond by kissing her. She’ll say Maybe, in which you respond by saying "Let’s find out…then you kiss her" or she’ll say "No" in which case you laugh and say "Well I didn’t say you could! It just looked like you hand something on your mind."

If she says no, build more comfort by continuing to be playful. Over another few hours or even days, continue to escalate touch until you get back to the kiss. This time she will likely instigate it.

Mystery had it right.
I took her out to lunch yesterday and we had a picnic in a small park. Our physical touching is escalating and we opened up a little more to each other. Things are going well. I forsee good things.

But I also found out why she’s been reluctant in starting a relationship with someone. Her parents are really sick and she’s been really unhappy with that lately.

I’m trying to figure out a way to show her I care without just bugging her about her parents or asking about them. Any ideas? This girl gets cooler and more awesome as I get to know her.

I took her out to lunch yesterday and we had a picnic in a small park. Our physical touching is escalating and we opened up a little more to each other. Things are going well. I forsee good things.

But I also found out why she’s been reluctant in starting a relationship with someone. Her parents are really sick and she’s been really unhappy with that lately.

I’m trying to figure out a way to show her I care without just bugging her about her parents or asking about them. Any ideas? This girl gets cooler and more awesome as I get to know her.

It’s a sign to keep the pace where it is now. Just temporarily. Escalate as she opens up on her own.
Alright, so the last two weeks have been excellent. We’ve gone on plenty of dates and have had a lot of fun together. We’re really open with each other now and she and I are having a great time together.

The conversation came up (she started it) on what "we" were. I said that I really liked her and I was having fun chasing her and that she is one of the coolest girls I’ve ever met. She said she didn’t want to be in a relationship because her dad is dying and her stepmom is too and she’s moving back to her hometown in a year. I told her that it didn’t matter to me, that I wanted to try to make something work and make her time here fun and beautiful.

I understand that relationships are mortal and they’re meant to die, but there’s something really awesome about this girl. I don’t care if it was only for a short time, but I would love to be able to make something work between us. I want to show her that it could work and that I wouldn’t monopolize her time and make it really fun and exciting and beautiful.

The more I get to know her, the more I realize how awesome she is.

Example:

On Saturday night, we hung out at my friend’s and my friend and I cooked dinner for his girlfriend and this girl. As I took her home, I looked at her intently and said, "Megan, if I said I had something really important to talk to you about, what would you think?"

She looked at me all wide-eyed and said, "I would hope that I could answer it?"

And I took a few seconds and a deep breath and said, "OK… well… you see… Megan. I’m. I’m just fucking with you and I just wanted to make you paranoid."

She hit me and called me a jerk.

Today before I went to go pick her up for lunch, she texted me, "Chris, I have something really important to ask you. Do you have enough time to chat?"

And I texted back, "Yeah… sure… what’s up?"

And she texted me, "Nothing, I’m just being a jerk. When are you coming? I’m getting hungry."

And she’s cute and I FINALLY got a picture of her.

In the middle, twin is on the right. Though this picture does her absolutely no justice.

How do I win this?

Good, cool.

The conversation came up (she started it) on what "we" were. I said that I really liked her and I was having fun chasing her and that she is one of the coolest girls I’ve ever met. She said she didn’t want to be in a relationship because her dad is dying and her stepmom is too and she’s moving back to her hometown in a year. I told her that it didn’t matter to me, that I wanted to try to make something work and make her time here fun and beautiful.

Well, there is nothing you can do about that apparently. You’ve been given a death sentence, so expect to be hurt in the end, and expect her to not necessarily allow herself to get attached.

If you "hope", hope is needy, so — proceed at your own risk. Personally, I would detach and just be friends. The logic being, that if she get’s attached and you’re not, then you could win her and have the type of relationship you want. If you continue to chase her, she’ll probably leave.

I understand that relationships are mortal and they’re meant to die, but there’s something really awesome about this girl. I don’t care if it was only for a short time, but I would love to be able to make something work between us. I want to show her that it could work and that I wouldn’t monopolize her time and make it really fun and exciting and beautiful.

Then detach, and let her decide whether she’ll chase you instead. You have to be willing to let go of her entirely and take a risk. I can’t promise results, but in my experience that’s the only way.

The more I get to know her, the more I realize how awesome she is.

Becareful, she’s already sent up a lot of red flags. Detach, that’s my advice.

Example:

On Saturday night, we hung out at my friend’s and my friend and I cooked dinner for his girlfriend and this girl. As I took her home, I looked at her intently and said, "Megan, if I said I had something really important to talk to you about, what would you think?"

She looked at me all wide-eyed and said, "I would hope that I could answer it?"

And I took a few seconds and a deep breath and said, "OK… well… you see… Megan. I’m. I’m just fucking with you and I just wanted to make you paranoid."

You’re a funny guy, no really, you seriously are. I mean, who has ever said something like that, you know? It’s like you, you….you came up with this amazingly original ideas, right? You, made her think something serious needed to be discussed, and then, then,….you told her it was a joke. Wow, amazing, really, that’s…..just so funny. You’re a really funny guy. I’ve never heard of that before, unbelievable man, just….unbelievable.

[/Sarcasm]

HAHA

She hit me and called me a jerk.

Today before I went to go pick her up for lunch, she texted me, "Chris, I have something really important to ask you. Do you have enough time to chat?"

And I texted back, "Yeah… sure… what’s up?"

And she texted me, "Nothing, I’m just being a jerk. When are you coming? I’m getting hungry."

Wow, she’s so funny too. Wow, really…..wow.

And she’s cute and I FINALLY got a picture of her.

In the middle, twin is on the right. Though this picture does her absolutely no justice.

How do I win this?

Follow my advice, you might win, don’t follow it, you might win. It’s 50/50 really. I personally would take the risk, but be detached as hell.
You’re a dick.

Things turned out well. She and I had a talk tonight and after some talking. She finally admitted to being very into me and really liking me, but with her family and her problems and other things she’s not wanting to get into a relationship.

I told her to think about it. She said she would. We kissed and I left. She really likes me and I’ve been detaching myself as much as possible without being an asshole.

It seems to be going well.

You’re a dick.

Things turned out well. She and I had a talk tonight and after some talking. She finally admitted to being very into me and really liking me, but with her family and her problems and other things she’s not wanting to get into a relationship.

I told her to think about it. She said she would. We kissed and I left. She really likes me and I’ve been detaching myself as much as possible without being an asshole.

It seems to be going well.

It sounds like she’s into you, but needs a little push, a trigger if you will. I bet she’s competitive with her twin. Try mentioning her sister a few times, innocently asking about her.

You have no idea just how right you are.

Things turned out well. She and I had a talk tonight and after some talking. She finally admitted to being very into me and really liking me, but with her family and her problems and other things she’s not wanting to get into a relationship.

As you know, that’s a big red flag, but at least you can hang out with her and just forget the "label" of a relationship.

I told her to think about it. She said she would.

I really hope you didn’t say this like this. The reason being it conveys that you’ve invested in her, that you want her even though she’s putting up the flags.

Beware.

We Kissedd and I left. She really likes me and I’ve been detaching myself as much as possible without being an asshole.

It seems to be going well.

Good, remain detached. Remember, actions speak louder than words. Never take words seriously this early. People will tell you all sorts of things. Make her prove herself, and let her come to you. A girl who "likes you" will make a lot of attempts to put herself in your way through actions, even if you have other things going on. She’ll call multiple times, text you, e-mail you. When you spend time together she’ll touch you, or want to pay for things, get you little gifts, or she’ll be concerned or supportive when you mention challenges or events in your life that you’re trying to succeed at (Don’t get personal early, but you can mention superficial challenges)

You know what I’m saying.

You have no idea just how right you are.

As you know, that’s a big red flag, but at least you can hang out with her and just forget the "label" of a relationship.

I really hope you didn’t say this like this. The reason being it conveys that you’ve invested in her, that you want her even though she’s putting up the flags.

Beware.

Good, remain detached. Remember, actions speak louder than words. Never take words seriously this early. People will tell you all sorts of things. Make her prove herself, and let her come to you. A girl who "likes you" will make a lot of attempts to put herself in your way through actions, even if you have other things going on. She’ll call multiple times, text you, e-mail you. When you spend time together she’ll touch you, or want to pay for things, get you little gifts, or she’ll be concerned or supportive when you mention challenges or events in your life that you’re trying to succeed at (Don’t get personal early, but you can mention superficial challenges)

You know what I’m saying.

She’s been wanting to pay for our dates lately and she calls/texts me. She draws me cute little pictures and when we go out she wants to hold my arm and be all cutesy. I told her about my business starting and stuff and she does seem interested and supportive.

She likes to tickle me and when I make a joke about her or make fun of her she’ll either smack my arm or blush or something.

t sounds like she’s into you, but needs a little push, a trigger if you will. I bet she’s competitive with her twin. Try mentioning her sister a few times, innocently asking about her.

You’re right. I’ve asked about her sisters and she’ll tell me something about them but immediately start telling me stuff about her.

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