A while ago, while I was having roommate problems and in the process of moving out of my apartment, I slept over at the apartment of some female neighbors (I am a girl also). There were three of them who shared a one-bedroom apartment, although I was friendly with all of them I was only actually "friends" with one of them. Since their apartment was very small, I wound up sleeping in an extra bed which happened to be right next to one of the other girls who had just gotten engaged to her boyfriend (who I was just acquaintances with). In any case, in the morning, when she was getting out of her bed, which was right next to mine, she actually touched me you know where for a split second. This made me sort of feel awkward that I was sleeping there.

I have a couple of questions.
One, was it weird that I was sleeping over when she was engaged to her boyfriend (and he was going to move into the apartment instead of her roommates in about six months, when they got married)? Also, was her touching me an accident, or was it "accidentally on purpose"? (Also, although I realize in retrospect that I shouldn’t have, I did continue to sleep over for a few more nights even after this happened, and the next morning, as she was getting out of bed, she said to me, do you mind moving over so I don’t touch you by accident? I guess I was too tired to move over, so I didn’t, and she wound up touching my leg the following morning as she was getting out of bed). (The reason I am not sure if it was an accident is that why would she need to touch me in order to get out of bed? Even if she needed something to balance on, she could have just touched the mattress itself without touching my body).

Most likely.

And she probably did it on accident. If she requested you move over so it didn’t happen again, I would take that to mean she didn’t do it "accidentally on purpose"

It’s not weird at all. 2 straight girls can usually sleep in a bed together and feel 0 tension, engaged or not The fact that you felt tension speaks pretty loudly.

You are actually confused if she touched you on purpose and she actually ASKED you to please move? Sounds like you are really having wishful thinking thoughts now and secretly hope she touched you on purpose, which I highly doubt.

The fact that you slept over there on purpose a few more nights is sad. If she didn’t make any kind of move, other than using your leg for balance to get out of the bed , then she doesn’t want anything to do with you. You should more be focusing not on the fact that you might be bicurious, but that you are trying really hard to get attention from a woman WHO IS ENGAGED. I say this in a nice way, GET A LIFE. If you want to try something with women then try it with a woman who is open about her sexuality and single.

Hmmm.

I… uh… hmmm.

While in reality nothing actually happened here, like you I’m going to let my imagination run wild and

werd.

You’re curious, no big deal, but don’t make this one time thing out to be anything more than it was. She accidentally touched you, but she’s not interested in you that way. I know it’s hard to separate the feelings of discovery/anxiety/excitement from the action that brought those feelings to the surface…

But now you know, so move forward from this. Go find some single bi women to test the waters.

It sounds to me like she initially touched you to initiate, to see if you were interested. You didn’t respond. So next time, she put the ball in your court by offering you an easy way out, while hinting at still touching you. I think you need to reciprocate the touching.

As I mentioned previously, we were each sleeping in our own beds, but they were right next to eachother (we were not sharing a bed).

As I mentioned at the beginning of my post, I was sleeping there because of problems with my roommate, not because I had any intention of getting with her, as you are presupposing. I am just mentioning what happened one of the days, because I was confused by what happened and am trying to make some sense of it.
I don’t know you sound kinda weird

no offense

You’re just curious. I love vaginas, but if anything attached to a penis touches me, I cringe. And also, its sounds like wishful thinking that she touches you in hopes of starting something with you. Let it go, or do like other girls, get drunk and make out with other girls.
Depends on your state of mind…if it was morning, and you weren’t quite woken up, you may not have had the cognitive ability yet to realize who/what was touching you, and your brain could have just recognized it as "touch in happy place" rather than "OMG a girl is touching my vagina".

Understand?
If a girl brushed by my vagina I would literally feel nothing but "ahh, she just accidentally brushed againt my privates!"

reread your post in 6 months

it just seems pretty caught up and subjective
Anyone else read that and wish it would have ended with orgasm-filled lesbian sex?

lesbianfantasy.txt

On a side note, you’re bicurious, and theres nothing wrong with that or how you’re feeling. But should you choose to pursue your curiosity, I’d strongly suggest you do it with a female who is single, or at least in an open relationship.

EDIT: Me and beer have almost the same number of posts

Bingo…to do anything else would be completely disrespectful to the girl’s SO.

unless he was allowed to watch or join in

Even if they look like this?

Look, instead of trying to label everything, why not just take it for what it is? You were touched, it felt good. It doesn’t really matter if it was a guy or a girl. Why do people get so hung up on what sex did what and whether it is bad, good, wrong, safe, gay, curious, etc? Sex really shouldn’t be so cut and dry … must be between man and woman, lights out, missionary, and for procreation only. It happened, you enjoyed it. Big deal. There is nothing to figure out.

I don’t think you have much of a say if they move it or not.

It is back in OnTopic.
Ha!

This is sooooooo hot.
It is like, rape!
But a sexy sort of girl-on-girl XXX rated, ‘I am like staying at Jenis house tonight! don’t forget the cheer leader outfit!’ sorta rape.
If you come to Iowa I can help you establish that you are a lesbian, just have sex with me. (I’m a guy).

Edit: Serious stuff incoming, forgot it was onT

You could try dropping hints that you would like to experiment with her, would have to be super subtle to avoid awkwardness. I don’t know how you would approach that one. That is assuming you want to do anything with her.

If you’re just asking why you felt a rush when she touched you then I can’t really answer that one. If a guy barely grazed my dick through jeans I would feel awkward and hope it wasn’t on purpose, I wouldn’t bring attention to it though, cause I don’t really want some mansex or make the situation worse..

I think lildevildee explained it best, it’s probably most likely the case. When was the last time you had a boyfriend? This is a bit personal, but when was the last time you had sex? You don’t have to answer that, but if it’s been a while, then it’s probably just that.

Who knows what she is doing, she shouldn’t be reaching for your vagina to get up outta bed, it’s not a snooze button or anything. You should probably distance yourself from that kinda situation, you might cause some tension. Or cause horny idiots to post, like so many in here. ^

Truth is, this situation happened a year ago, girl has since actually gotten married to her then-fiance. I guess I have just had some extra time on my hands and I was just thinking about it. Particularly since I bump into her every now and then, and still feel awkward around her.
i’m just trying to figure out how the hell she reached you "accidently" if she’s in another bed

Ah-HA-HA!! The image of that just made me actually laugh out loud at work!

I am actually currently redating an ex…but I am so unattracted to him…(There are men I am attracted to, just so happens current guy does not fall into that category). I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that he has a really gross goatee, and he is also overweight, both of which are changable, but I don’t feel comfortable yet saying anything to him about it.

That was my original thought…This may be reading into things too much, but I was even thinking that maybe she did as a sort of passive/aggressive accident because she was annoyed that I was sleeping over since it’s possible that I was getting in the way during time she wanted with her then-fiance.

I agree, whatever the reason was that she did that, presumably completely accidentally, it was definitely a weird moment and I realize in retrospect I definitely should have immediately found another place to stay. Heck, I probably would have been better off actually continuing to sleep in my own apartment with my creepy roommate who was tampering with the lock to the front door.

Thank you…this is why I was wondering if maybe it was an accidental on purpose thing? And I was thinking maybe she even did this actually to annoy me, like stepping on me cuz she didn’t think I should be there but didn’t want to say so?

I think you shouldn’t be shy to express your true feelings. If it bugs you now, its going to bug you in the future. Don’t be afraid, if he takes offense to it, then it’s better it happened that way. I had long hair and a goatee when I met my gf and she asked me to shave it, I had no problem with it. I also got a nice hair cut… She asked that 3 weeks in and I am not every guy, but I can take criticism. Start small and work it out, make it sound positive if it’s possible. For the weight issue, do more physical stuff together like rollerblading or biking, hiking, going for a walk, play with the dog, playing wiifit hahaha…

Yeah I don’t understand how it happened, but she had no right to touch you there. I think she made the accidental statement to make her seem innocent, if it’s stepping.

It’s good it’s over and done with, if she’s not bugging you or it’s not being brought up then it’s water under the bridge. Unless it’s bugging you still.

I guess I am pretty worried to bring it up, since he is my ex (he broke up with me first time we went out), and I also know that he can be sort of hyper sensitive about things. The weight he just told me is an issue his doctor brought up to him, so he’s already aware of that. And I am not sure if I feel comfortable asking him to shave his goatee, that is a pretty personal thing and we’ve only been re-dating for a month (first time we dated only for a couple weeks).

Honestly it did not seem that "accidental"…at the time I thought maybe it was a sexual thing, but in retrospect I think it was more of I want to get with my fiance and don’t want you around here (she was actually kicking her roommates out at the end of the engagement so that her fiance could move in once they got married…which makes me realize that as nice as she was, she probably really did NOT want me there and I was too preoccupied with my own life to realize).

No, she definitely does not bring it up, nor did she ever say anything about it other than saying the next morning to move over so she didn’t touch me by accident. But bumping into her still makes me feel uncomfortable.

.

LoL hey you know your relationship/life better than I do, so if you don’t feel comfortable bringing it up to him then it’s as simple as that. I had mine since I could grow one, and I felt naked without it, but that goes away. When he starts losing weight he will gain more confidence and won’t be so self concious all the time. He most likely has one to "hide" something, weither it be physical or not. There is a lot I don’t know so I can’t really give you advice, but don’t accept things as they are, if they truly do bug you, thats how they become problems.

Yeah that’s a pretty reasonable explaination. We are terratorial when it comes down to, so she probably did see it that way. She most likely was saving face and doing a favour for her roommate, but probably didn’t really like it.

Wow, okay so you do think about it then. Do you think about it in a good way? It does sound like a very awkward experience. I guess it’s because of how you classed it at the time, instead of how you see it now. I wouldn’t be suprised if she felt uncomfortable around you too.
What do you mean she ‘brushed your privates?’

Elaborate more on that.

I don’t know, I guess I am waiting for him to shave it off on his own accord.

I think a lot of my weirdness about her had to do more with an envy/hero worship because her then fiance/now husband was one of the most desirable men who lived in the apartment building, and in retrospect I believe she was actually the envy object of many girls at the time.

.
what’s with all the hate in this thread? You sound pretty normal to me. It’s quite possible you’re bi and it’s something you should explore further.

As for your friend, you would know better than any of us what her true intentions were. You now seem to think she did it because she wanted you out… was she hostile towards you at all before this?

yeah moving it to the closet was a pretty dick move by iwishyouwerebeer . I swear she’s homophobic. I know I’m going to get flamed for this, but I’ve noticed a trend in her replies…
I think you really just might be making something out of nothing. I have seen my best friend practically naked and have even spooned with her and it’s nothing. Of course we have to deal with the occasional "I’m waiting for you guys to start lezzing out remarks" but it doesn’t mean anything. Maybe when she wakes up it takes her a bit to get her bearings. I think that by thinking about it and analyzing it so much you are starting to get ideas. It was a one time thing and she is married to a man now. Forget about it.
[quote=Anticipate;102652064]Although I am completely straight, I have to admit that the girl who I was sleeping right next to had recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend and although I had never really thought much of her before, I actually did think she was kind of starting to look cute

You seem very emphatic about your "complete" straightness in the same sentence where you state that the other girl was starting to look very "cute" to you. You even mentioned that she started looking "cute" after she was "off the market".

You also suggested that you felt you should not have continued to sleep there because of this tension and her unavailability. That’s how it reads.
And you want to know if she was having sexual feelings for you? Okay. I have a question for you: Why is it okay for her to have those feelings, but not okay for you to have them? Because the suggestion that you did in fact have those feelings met some pretty defensive reactions, even though you overtly said that you did find her attractive.

Just sayin’.

Everyone that read the thread in the beginning thought it’s was far more of a "closet" forum thread, including the MODS in there. I moved it initially because she complained it was probably in the wrong forum and then it got bounced around because all the other mods didn’t know where to put it…..but ok man.

Hope she got the advice for this thread because no one really got what she was looking for as an answer. Don’t understand how she can make a thread where she clearly discussed what seem to be bicurious feelings and then spends the rest of the thread swearing she’s completely straight as if being bicurious is even a bad thing. If anything she is the homophobe. A year later and she’s still wondering about the girl who was engaged that she started to think was "cute" that most likely accidentally brushed by her privates…but swears she doesn’t care?

And what on earth are you talking about I’m a homophobe?
1. We rarely ever even bring up gay issues in here or the Vag
2. I’d personally LOVE to see what "replies" I’ve made that lead you to believe I’m against homosexuality
3. I’m beyond ok with homosexuality. My reply to this poster was simply for the fact that from the beginning she made a thread that clearly read to everyone (not just me) that she was harboring some same sex feelings and was freaking out when anyone even mentioned "bi." I was more focusing on the fact that she seemed interested in someone who was engaged.

Are you high?

She wasn’t actually my friend. I was friends with one of her roommates, but she and I were only acquaintances. Although she was technically always polite and friendly to me, she had been vaguely snotty to me in the past, and I had always sensed a tone of some sort of superiority from her even from the first time I stepped into her apartment, which at this point was about three years ago.
I had always sensed a sort of elitist/snotty air about her and her friends that always pissed me off and made it quite difficult for me to be around her. For one thing, she never invited me to her apartment herself, I had only been invited by her roommates. And she rarely came to my apartment when I invited her. And even the few times that she came, she would never walk in without her "crew."
Yeah I think the more you mention the fact that you are straight the more people doubt it.
I think the point is that I was and still am very lonely, and found her old apartment to be a place that I could look to for companionship. It was very upsetting to me when I found out that she was engaged, and that her fiance/husband would be replacing her roommates. You can’t exactly have a sleepover at a married couple’s apartment (it was a one bedroom).

I read all your old threads and remembered you very well. You’ve made countless threads about being lonely, how you friends are all married etc. This thread should have just been remade since if that is the real issue it didn’t nearly come through from the beginning of your posts. But anyway, how old are you?

How many "good" friends would you say you have?

Says who?

I haven’t posted on this site in quite a while (it had probably been at least six months or a year ago), and since I don’t have the extra money to pay for a sub, I don’t have access to any of my old threads. Since I am a member of another online forum also, I did not specifically remember offhand what threads/topics I have posted about in the past three years or so. And honestly I think it is somewhat unrealistic to expect me to remember old threads that I started probably about a year ago, if I am unable to search for them.

27, why does that matter to you? How old are you?

It depends what you consider a good friend. I basically only include single friends among my "good" friends, since most, if not all, of my married friends I am in little to no contact with.
I would venture to say that I probably have two good friends at this point in my life. One of those is in a different country at this moment, and the other one works several different jobs so is not always available to me.
I think she’s asking because it changes the way she interprets your thoughts. You being "lonely" is what made you probably feel those things. If you had been happy with your life at the moment you probably would have thought nothing of it and seen it as you see it now. I dunno I’m no therapist so I’ll shut up.
I think your reaction to the incident is a result of how you feel about your relationship with her and others in the same situation. You don’t consider them good friends after they get attached and ‘leave’ you, and your anxiousness about that happening again with this friend is getting the better of you to the extent that you look for motives where there are none as a ‘long shot’ to save your friendship from being torn asunder by a male figure you see as a rival for her attention. The odd chance that she had feelings for you in that way would demonstrate she liked you more than the man and would stay with you instead. The fact of the matter is such, as a result of a bad experience or cynicism you see marriage as a removal of them from your life, sure it’s a change but it shouldn’t stop you being as close, and you need to get over this barrier and make an effort with your friends in relationships. If you go in there negative and against them spending time with him over you, you’re doomed to fail, because that’s against what they want and have made the choice to do. They’re probably as lonely as you are, married women are prone to losing touch with friends because of issues like these or being single minded.
[quote=Anticipate]I haven’t posted on this site in quite a while (it had probably been at least six months or a year ago), and since I don’t have the extra money to pay for a sub, I don’t have access to any of my old threads. Since I am a member of another online forum also, I did not specifically remember offhand what threads/topics I have posted about in the past three years or so. And honestly I think it is somewhat unrealistic to expect me to remember old threads that I started probably about a year ago, if I am unable to search for them.[quote]Huh? I didn’t ask you to remember your threads I was merely saying that I researched your old threads and remember you, your posts used to make me incredibly sad.

I was just asking because you complained in your threads about being "old" and how all your friends were married. I was genuinely just curious as to your age.

That stinks. Do you have any hobbies that keep you busy during the week or weekends? I’m asking because it obviously couldn’t hurt to make some healthy new friendships.

If I’m right, that might not help much in the long run. If her problem’s dealing with friends entering LTRs, having it happen again with new people ‘abandoning’ her could throw a good handful of hay on the camel, resulting in a lovely bitter cynicism shell protecting loneliness inside from potential friendships and ‘inevitable’ betrayel. This needs to be fixed in her mind before she goes on to meet new people, for best results

I think

My advice always ends up as a massive block

Oh I thought months ago she’d probably benefit from therapy (just going off her old threads). She obviously has some emotional issues that unfortunately get the better of her even with friendships….I was more just hoping to focus on her finding new hobbies that force her to experience new people, possibly helping her feel less lonely. While she could feel lonely when she goes home she might at least not feel so lonely at say…her new adult kickball league?

The irony is that this entire thread was about a girl who I wasn’t even friends with, yet I was upset that she was getting married because it meant her apartment would be shut down forever more as the all-girls-sleepover-party apartment.

Ok, I misunderstood, I thought you were criticizing me for posting a duplicate thread (in any case, even if I posted about loneliness/married friends in general in other threads, this was surely the first thread about this specific incident/relationship).
In any case, is there any way for you to link me to any of my old threads, since I don’t have rights to the search function and know that they are quite old threads?

Well, now that I told you my age, can you tell me yours? So that way I can put your advice in perspective, depending on where in life you are?

My hobbies mostly include facebook, and going on online forums, listening to music, reading, applying to new jobs (not really a hobby, as much as a necessity, because I never have a normal job), yoga (occasionally), and I have been considering lately two new hobbies, learning to play guitar and beading (both cost $ though, which I don’t have).

I think the real problem is that a. I don’t get to spend as much time with the person, particularly if she is planning a wedding,
b. this frequently results in her moving elsewhere, sometimes even to another country,
c. eventually this will result in kids, which will take away from my emotional relationship with her even more
d. really I need to figure out how to have my own LTR, not just getting jealous/angry toward other people’s

I’m already in therapy, I find that while it makes me feel better for an hour a week, in the broader picture of my life it doesn’t really alieviate my loneliness. I think the hobbies, on the other hand, and trying to develop new friends, is a much better and healthier idea.

Because I can never find what I am looking for at any of my jobs: happy with work, like coworkers, and making enough money/benefits.
Right now my current job has none of these (it’s also part time, so at the very least I need to find something full time, which I am working on).

So you’re looking for the perfect job ?

Ideally yes. And I know many people who are happy with, or at the very least satisfied with, their current jobs, so I know it is possible.
In any case, as of right now, just finding something full time with benefits that I can tolerate would be a step forward.

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