Edit: I feel much better now. I was drunk and upset about my glasses. Not going to kill myself or anybody – That was an overreaction.

I only have one friend. He has a friend who is around a lot and I guess an acquaintance. He regularly hits me and harasses me. He’s much bigger and works out quite a bit, on top of that I has a dislocated disk in my back. He regularly knocks off me glasses, threatens to break them, along with threatening to kill me. He thinks it’s hilarious and when I threaten to defend myself he says I can’t do anything about it.

Tonight he hit me with a pillow and knocked off my glasses, along with hitting me a few times with his hand. He also threatened to break my arm at one point.

After I told him I’d defend myself physically, he knocked my glasses off again with the pillow. I in turn hit him, because I honestly felt very threatened. As I have a bad back and like I said, he’s much bigger, he threw me around a bit, obviously targeting my back, and broke my glasses. I’m very afraid to continue going to school here, as he expresses violent fantasies often. I wrote the judicial apartment an email, but I fear it will bring nothing but hardship to me, as I don’t believe they will side with me, because I don’t think the only witness will side with me. I’m incredibly upset and I feel I’ll need to take action on my own accord to ensure my safety.
Stop hanging out with them. You’re the one that keeps putting yourself in the position to take this abuse when you know it’s coming. Get out and find new friends. You already know you need to.

I just don’t have the will to. The past three weeks I’ve tried multiple times and it just doesn’t work. Now I can’t see three feet in front of me and I have exams next week. I’m pretty much fucked.

You’re telling me you can’t actually keep yourself away from a guy who beats you up?

I don’t have the will to make new friends. My other friend I’ve known since sixth grade. I guess I can’t talk to him anymore, as he’ll never take my side.

Yeah, he’s not a friend if he knows this is going on. And about not having the courage to make new friends…I just don’t know what to tell you anymore other than find a new psychiatrist-yours is terrible.

All the psychiatrist does is prescribe me drugs. i haven’t had a psychologist for a while, as my current one only has time to see me every few weeks.
what an asshole, but you cant kill him. I know how you feel i was big in high school (fat with man boobs) everyone made fun of me but some kids who played magic in our science teachers room. u could say they took me in. i believe kids don’t realize how cruel they are being, fuck’em if u want to find friends you can, but u have to want it, thats all. love your self masterbate alot

Hence, find a new one.

My parents have no money. I’m supporting myself in school. I can’t just move somewhere. I’m in school. I’d have to transfer but with my grades I can’t go anywhere.

I’m not fat or mishappen in any way. I’m normal. I try making new friends and they aren’t receptive.

I don’t have much choice through my insurance.

If you have more than one to try I don’t see the real issue, just another excuse from you.

Do you want to feel happiness?

There is only one available psychiatrist through my insurance.

Yes, obviously I do. You keep saying I’m not trying, but I am. I’ve gone to clubs, asked the people in the social interactions I have, etc. etc. I’m not just sitting around feeling sorry for myself.
well i wouldnt be your friend either if you called me "mishappend" come on, try smelling extra good, maybe try wearing a tiny bit of womans perfume with some brute cologne. how old r u, r u in school

I didn’t call you mishappen. No, I’m a sophomore in college.
I smell good and have good breath. I dress well. I speak well.
hmmm, if your good at photo shop you could vanish fr a while. use that tme to photo shop your face with a ton of famous people. put that shit on my space.

I didn’t take crap, hence the fight.
Why don’t you go through all the other threads you’ve posted and actually listen to some of the advice we gave you that you have fought us on?

Like I told you before, you are in denial. And rather than TRY the things people suggest, you sit and argue why it won’t work…WITHOUT EVEN TRYING IT.

Not much we can do to help you until you want to help yourself.

Then dont fucking come in here acting like an idiot.

Because aside from all the advice that’s what you fucking are at this point.

Grow a fucking backbone you god damn pussy.

I think he is talking about the Feb 08 guy who is obviously just trolling.

No need to get bent out of shape. It’s not really constructive.

It doesn’t matter to me, I just think this type of thread doesn’t deserve advice.. It deserves a slap in the face with common sense hense the stupid replies by those 2.

Stick up for yourself, don’t take no shit from people like that and if you have to… tell them all to kiss your ass and move on with your life.

Carry on though.
how do you call this person your "friend"??

Well, this IS the Asylum, so why didn’t you just say THIS instead of calling him names?

I havent read youre other threads, so I dont know alot of back story, but here’s my go on it.

First, ignore the shitty replies from people who are obviously trolling this thread (zipp0 and K1775W1TC4). I think we need to get a mod in here on that one, as they’re just being assholes and the Asylum is no place for that, regardless of the OP’s past history on advice taking.

Second, Crowbar and Viper had some good advice, but I think their replies got tangled up in the nastiness and hostility brought on by the trolling.

Third, have you talked to this ‘friend’ of yours about the violence? As in have you said "Dude, my back is all fucked up, dont do that shit" or "Hey, you broke my gd glasses, stop that" or even just asking him "Why the hell are you pushing me around? I’m your friend"
The guy might not even know that you find this unacceptable or are bothered by it. Yes, it may seem obvious to LOTS of people that this isnt the way you deal with friends, but in my experience, well, all people dont ‘socialize’ in the same way. When you "threaten to physically defend yourself" or whatever, you’re just ‘promoting’ his violence in a way. NO, I’m not saying this is your fault, but telling him youre be violent back just lets him know that you’re ok with this manner of interaction.

Cause he pissed me off

Im human ya know, sometimes I even want to ram people on my way to work.. but I dont..
Next time he fucks with you stab him in the leg or something. He definitely wont fuck with you if you stab him.
You’re one of the few cases on this forum that is truly hopeless, at least in my opinion. I pray that this changes, I truly hope one day you actually take the great advice given to you and get some help and take personal responsibility.

You will never be able to improve your lot unless you start changing the things you can, and stop trying to change the things you can’t. Not to mention you have an excuse for everything. This irresponsibility will only lead to your further suffering.
And just to be clear, here is a reference for all the advice that was given:

OnSight’s Response

baseball bat…wooden, no warning, catch him alone or around minimal witnesses, and FUCK HIM UP! bu no head shots. he wont fuck with you again, you wont go to jail. DO IT!

I just got through reading his other threads, and your advice METALLIC, is awesome (though I do think you’re wordy and verbose at times, but that doesnt really matter here).

You’re right that he’s not taking anyones advice. I found this part of the old thread especially telling:

To which OnSight replied:

Basically, what this says to me, is that OnSight wanted step by step instructions because he thought there was some actual activity (read: physically doing something) that could help him and solve his problem. METALLIC BLUE responded with the numbered list he just re-posted.

I think the problem here, is that the things in that numbered list might not seem like "real phyical activities" to OnSight – they all invovle more ‘philosphical’ things like taking treatment more seriously and changing his perspective on certain interactions and thus, dont give him what he’s looking for. He’s tried all the "real" things he culled from the Asylums advice, but those didnt work, so he’s looking for more things.

That said, OnSight, I think youre looking for the wrong thing. There are certain "real physical activities" such as going to clubs and actively trying meeting new people that will help you with your problem and until you get the ‘philosophical’ aspects of it down too, these activities wont really solve your problem. The philosophical aspects are MUCH MUCH harder to get and implement and making those changes will only come from you working on yourself.
I’m just going to throw this out there. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who are like me, and also think this way.

I refuse to have any pity for, or even associate with anyone who admits to having problems, but refuses to do anything about it.

Your friend has an acquaintance who beats on you, and you "lack the willpower" to stay away from him? So what, that guy says "come here and let me hit you" and your body just starts moving out of your control?

Cut the bullshit. If you can’t even stay away from someone who isn’t even a friend because he beats on you….yeah.
Although there were some troll remarks i still have to agree that sometimes the best help you can give to people is to tell them to help themselves.

There is no situation in which a magical tooth fairy or leperchauns will make your problems go away, come to the realisation that you are the one who makes you happy, your life is your problem, and the choices that you make in it, make you feel nice or miserable. Don’t allow those people,events and things into your life that make your life hell. Remember, in this we can only give you advice and guidance, but winning the war is up to you.

Why don’t you listen and stop projecting. I am doing the things people suggested.

Did you not see their posts? I didn’t know this was the main forum.

Did you not read the thread? I did stick up for myself.

I don’t sit there and take it. I mentioned in the first post that I did in fact tell him to knock it off on many occasions.

:blah blah blah:

Please tell me my excuse for everything. Sorry I have reasoning and you spent half an hour digging up quotes and taking them out of context. Reasons are not the same as excuses. You and Viper seem to have a hard time realizing that I am actually taking and applying the advice given to me.

No, I got the list and applied many of the things.

I never said I lack the willpower to stay away from him. Last night I felt like I lacked the will to keep trying to better my life.

I never said I can’t stay away from him. Until last night it wasn’t a big enough issue for me to do so, obviously now I am and I’m pursuing things with judicial affairs to at least try and have my $400 glasses paid for.
Do the mods read threads and mod them or do I need to report posts?

Unfortunately the only thing I read was the retard post

It was a bad morning

It’s okay. I understand. Just seeing that looks like I’m talking shit to people who give genuine advice, when in reality, I am very thankful for it.
I feel much better now that I have some contacts and am no longer blind. Though, I’m still out a very nice pair of glasses.
Step back dude.

You just made 9 posts fighting the advice that we gave you.

Why are you so defensive man? We’re here to help you.

You are an incredibly arrogant young man who has a lot to learn. Your excuse is consistently the same. "I’m a victim, other people mistreat me and don’t like me, and there is nothing I can do about it because I’m already doing everything."

You’re acting like a real bastard you know that? I did that to help you, and you insult me with patronizing, passive aggressive, sarcasm? This is why people don’t like you.

I’m not alone in my analysis, you make excuses that you pass off as reasoning, but much like polishing a piece of shit or dressing up a heroin addicted hooker in a prom dress — below the window dressing is the same old tired thing. If the counseling isn’t helping, find a new counselor, if the medication isn’t working, try a new medication. If someone is abusing you, especially in college, report them and stay away from them.

I’m sure you’ll have an excuse for these too. So suffice to say, that’s the last thing I’ll advise.

Alright, I think playtime is over. There are other people here who sincerely want help. I do truly wish you the best in-spite of your condescending tone, I realize it comes from a place of dissatisfaction with your own circumstance, not malice against me.

What? I was just replying. I don’t feel defensive at all.
Jesus Christ dude, you make new threads in here all the time and when people offer help you either ignore it or have an excuse for every viable path to choose except the one you’re on now which all you do is complain about. Grow up and take some responsibility for yourself.

Sorry, I’m just tired of you saying I’m not taking advice. I’m applying basically everything I’m told. I do appreciate the advice, but you didn’t reply to what I said about your list and you just blow it off as excuses, which it isn’t.

I’m telling you, constructively, that you are BEING defensive.

I know you don’t feel that way. You probably don’t understand why it seems like everyone is "attacking" you. This is why I keep saying you are in denial.

Just trust us. Until you recognize that you HAVE the problem, you can’t really fix it.

No, I’m really not being defensive. I feel little emotional motivation for replying to those posts. I was just replying and moving the thread along. I don’t feel like everyone is attacking me.

Edit: Except crowbar, but he actually was.
this thread is an example of someone simply seeking attention… nothing more.

sorry guys. he just wants someone to fight with.

I agree.

Onsight needs to suck it up and make new friends. Take responsibility for your actions and understand that its because of your actions alone that your in the situation your in. If you don’t have the willpower to make new friends then you are accepting your position and have no right to complain about it.
Forgive me if this has been mentioned in this thread before, but how old are you/do you go to a university?

Yes, I’m 20.

your right

I hope you die in a fire.

No thanks.

You know I thought a lot about this thread and the others you’ve posted, and I’ve decided that I’ve been handling this all wrong. I’m not giving up on you. Something inside tells me I’d be making a big mistake if I do.

Maybe it’s not about all the things we’re talking about, the bullying, the frat, the feelings of being unliked, or the lack of desire to want help. I think I’m wrong. Maybe this isn’t about reasoning or excuses. Maybe it’s about a lack of love, feeling lost, left out, out of control, feeling unwanted and abandoned and feeling helpless in-spite of best efforts.

Maybe what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. I think it’s starting to make sense now. I hadn’t realized earlier you had suffered from self injury. That changes everything, it all connects. The depression, isolation, the pushing people away, and the desperate attempt to try to be accepted, liked and loved.

I’m willing to listen now, I should have seen what you needed sooner. I’m sorry.

Exactly. Thank you. That’s what I’ve been trying to say. I really do try. I’m not stupid. I know that not everyone will like me. But I honestly do feel lost and very much alone. When I say that I try and fail, I do feel helpless. I

I hadn’t realized earlier you had suffered from self injury. That changes everything, it all connects. The depression, isolation, the pushing people away, and the desperate attempt to try to be accepted, liked and loved.

I’m willing to listen now, I should have seen what you needed sooner. I’m sorry.

I don’t really push people away much, at least not in real life, though I can see how it comes off like that on OT. I really do apologize for coming off as condescending and passive aggressive earlier.

It’s ok, I just didn’t know. I didn’t understand. It’s hard sometimes to see the pain someone else is going through when it touches so close to home

Sometimes those who are the most likely to understand are those who have walked in our shoes, but sometimes ironically it can also be the complete opposite. Sometimes when I’ve walked in someone else’s shoes and suffered in the same ways, I can no longer feel or experience it, because it’s too upsetting. It’s so painful that I don’t even know what they’re talking about, even though I went through it.

I just couldn’t touch it. I’ve been through it, and I worked so hard in therapy to understand it, but I still don’t get it. The scars on the outside are nothing compared to the damage inside.

I was a victim of sexual abuse. My father hurt me. I spent years alone experiencing exactly what you’ve been telling me, and I didn’t even see it. Abuse is abuse, in all it’s forms, and the damage inside is devastating. It’s as though I woke everyday being tortured, even after the events and people had long passed. I don’t claim to know the details of what happened in your life, but I know you’ve suffered in your own way.

I saw myself as deserving what had happened, even though I knew intellectually that I wasn’t to blame. I couldn’t stop it though, I couldn’t make sense of the experiences.

It’s like someone I love cutting me open, then telling me I’m making a big deal over nothing, that they didn’t do anything wrong, even as I lay there bleeding to death. I’m expected to go on living, connecting with other people my age, attending school, and functioning normally, even though I’m severely — even mortally — wounded.

It’s hard to put into words.

i’ve been injured for a while though

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