ok so me and this girl that ive only known for about three weeks started having sex. Shes already starting to talk about how she bought me a sick present for my birthday in march. im trying to keep it away from a relationship though since i just got out of a 2 year messed up relationship. what does OT think? should i just try and break away slowly before i get to deep into things? or do i just be a dick keep getting with her until march for my birthday, get the present, then break it off?
You have got to tell her gently that you are not lookigg for a relationship. Since you are having sex she most likely assumed you are an item and will continue to be…and you might possibly be leading her on (whether you realize it or not). Don’t be an asshole and just keep her around for sex or to get a birthday present

Tell her flat out what you are looking for in a relationship ASAP. If you are lucky your honesty will keep her a friend and you’ll still get the present. But you have to tell her soon, otherwise you are going to make this a big ol mess.

If your next question is "what do I tell her?" it’s pretty simple. You tell her you are sorry if you’ve given her the wrong idea but that you just aren’t ready for any kind of commitment after just getting out of a long, serious relationship. That you like her a lot and would like to still see her. That is unless you don’t want to see her at all. You never know, she might be fine casually dating you.
i say do what you really want, without looking like an asshole
yea shes a cool girl and all to hang out with but i think shes one of those girls who are gonna start to get really clingy really fast. the birthday present shes talking about is like new ipod for me. ive only known her for a few weeks now so i just keep getting the feeling that i need to get out quick. yea i think ill try and get that casual dating situation without seeming like an asshole

Oh jesus. Yeah…any girl who has been dating you under a month and shells out a bunch of cash on an extravagent gift for you shows very high signs of becoming that really clingy girl that makes you her life. I have a good feeling you aren’t ready for that and honestly, even though I’m sure you want that iPod it wouldn’t really be right of you to keep her around and accept it from her.

But really, your first step needs to be telling her how you feel about the two of you and how you don’t want anything serious.

I think you need to be respectful and tell her the truth. It’s not fair to her to use her, and if you do it, you’ll likely see a negative consequence.

Is she/parents rich or does she get the hookup from apple? If not, then yeah getting you something that expensive is pretty clingy.

Saying you want to casually date her is good, just don’t mention anything about fuckbuddies/fwb or the sex or she’ll think you are just using her. Let her know that you wanted to be sure you guys were on the same page with this since you just got out of a relationship so you wouldn’t be looking for anything serious right now.
aright well the other aspect is that i already got dragged into going to this dance thing that she begged me for. thats just gonna make it seem as though were more of a couple right? id feel even worse doing it right before since she would lose her date.but if i go i keep feeling like ill jsut get deeper and deeper in the hole

Yes. No one can make you do anything dude. Doing some dance class together is definitely a "bf/gf" kind of event. Do not go, get this over with now before she gets even more emotionally invested.

Talk to her asap and just tell her that you want to casually date. If she is ok with that then you can still go to the dance with her. When you casually date someone you still do "couple" things, you are just free to do those things with other people also.
aright ill do that then. if anything happens ill keep OT updated

For one thing, it’s not your job to protect other people from their own feelings. Stop digging and start filling in the hole. Follow this below:

Here is what you do:

You: We’re not exclusive.
Her: What?
You: I’m not ready to have any committed relationships after just getting out of my previous one.
Her: Oh?
You: You needed to know the truth, what do you want to do?

Perfect.

I have to know someone really well and have enough time to earn their trust before I would spend crazy cash on them.
yea i thought the birthday present was a bit crazy. but to be honest it wouldnt be to bad getting the new ipod since my last one broke

You sound like a selfish, immature asshole. Good luck.
ha i didnt actually say i was gonna stick in it for the ipod. i just said itd be nice to get the best of both situations is all

Yeah well you still haven’t talked to the girl. So until you do and update I’m assuming you are sticking around for the iPod.
i plan on talking to her tonight when shes done studying tonight. so just give me alil time and ill let you all know how it goes
For even considering staying with her for a present sure brings your character to light.

If you have a soul, you’ll tell her how you feel about the whole thing.

Future reference, don’t start a sexual relationship with someone where boundaries are not set.
update: broke off ties with her few days after i posted this thread. have not talked for a few weeks now. last time we talked she wanted to stay friends and get me the bday present anyways. not to bad of an outcome if you ask me

Nice man, good job.
dude you fucked her tim, now is the time you’re a dick and end that shat

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