post vacation depression

I’ve been back 6-weeks now. I can’t stop thinking about how great my trip was. I went with 6 great friends, and everything fell into place perfectly for every day of the 6-day trip.

Now I think about it every day, and can’t stop thinking about going back or moving there, which is not really an option and not the best decision.

Is this normal, for 6+ weeks?

yes

well thats good then…. so why the depression? And who says its neither an option nor your best decision?
the happiest people on earth are not the ones who work the most

this is one of my favorite stories. (this isnt my favorite version, that ones on the wall @ Jimmy Johns)

A wealthy entrepreneur from New York went on a two-week seaside holiday on the coast of Costa Rica. On his first day there, he was impressed with the quality and taste of the exotic fish he bought from the local fisherman. The next day, the American encountered the native Costa Rican at the dock, but the Costa Rican had already sold his catch. The American discovered that the fisherman had a secret fishing spot where the fish were plenty and the quality superb. He only caught five or six fish each day, however. The New Yorker asked the local fisherman why he didnt’ stay out longer at sea and catch more fish.
“But Senor,” the fisherman replied, “I sleep in late until nine or ten every morning; I play with my children; I go fishing for an hour or two; in the afternoon I take a one- or two-hour siesta; in the early evening I have a relaxing meal with my familiy; and later in the evening, I go to the village and drink wine, play guitar, and sing with my amigos. As you can see, I have a full, relaxed, satisfying, and happy life.”
The New Yorker replied, “You should catch a lot more fish. That way you could prepare for the prosperous future. Look, I am a business man from New York, and I can help you become a lot more successful in life. I received an MBA from Harvard, and I know a lot about business and marketing.”
The New Yorker continued. “The way to prepare for the future is to get up early in the morning and spend the whole day fishing, even going back for more in the evening. In no time, with the extra money, you could buy a bigger boat. Two years from now, you could have five or six boats that you could rent to other fishermen. In another five years, with all the fish you will control, you can build a fish plant and even have your own brand of fish products.
“Then, in anothersix or seven years,” the New Yorker continued, while the Costa Rican looked more and more bewildered, “you could leave here and move to New York or San Francisco and have someone else run your factory while you market your products. If you work hard for fifteen or twenty years, you could become a multimillionaire. Then you wouldn’t have to work another day for the rest of your life.”
“What would I do then, Senor?” responded the fisherman.
Without any hesitation, the wealthy New York businessman enthusiastically replied, “Then you would be able to move to a little village in some laid-back country like Mexico where you could sleep in late every day, play with the village children, take a long siesta every afternoon, eat meals while relaxing in the evening, and play guitar, sing, and drink wine with your amigos every night.”
The moral of this story is that most success, as Western society defines it today, costs too much in terms of physical and mental health, family and social life and personal freedoms. What’s the point of working hard for many years, sacrificing happiness and well-being along the way when you can have happiness and well-being today by not working so hard?

the happiest people on earth are not the ones who work the most

this is one of my favorite stories. (this isnt my favorite version, that ones on the wall @ Jimmy Johns)

That’s why I’m in my current job. I want to have enough money to go to the track with the miata, buy good wine, eat at good restaurants, and still pay rent. If I didn’t have to worry about getting the miata inspected in California, and made enough to own a house, I’d be in SF right now.

the happiest people on earth are not the ones who work the most

this is one of my favorite stories. (this isnt my favorite version, that ones on the wall @ Jimmy Johns)

copy- paste

that was a great story… I’m in engineering program in a very tough university.. i have like 35 hours of class every week (compared to like 12 classes all the other students take compared to engineering)… and it’s so much work and that we are expected to work 60-75 hours a week after we graduate for years….

anyways i always thought i wanted to go to music or something… but my parents are typical-foreigner parents and because i used to do good for some reason in elementary school, they always pushed for medical or engineering school..so here i am.. and can’t do much about it… 2 years into the program ftl.. and i don’t have the guts to change at all
yea dont get me wrong, i dont have the guts either ;-p

haha… i was worried maybe you were gonna tell me that i should just go to mexico and start fishing or something
Wait, I thought you were no longer talking to/seeing that girl? You caved?

Not at all, actually I found it kind of silly when he last said he was never going to talk to her again just because her ex bf helped her move or something like that. I just wanted the story…

You do kind’ve always say fuckit move on to the next one

maybe you’re right just sayin

You do kind’ve always say fuckit move on to the next one

maybe you’re right just sayin

I only say it when necessary, like in your case!

Anywho, back to the thread boys…black jesus, it’s really common to have an amazing vacation and not get over it, especially if it happened to happen at a crucial time in your life (like yours did). My trip to Europe pulled me out of a HUGE slump months ago and it was all I could think about for months afterwards-I still talk about it now. You can’t let it affect your every day life though and make you forget you need a normal lifesyle. The best you can do is plan another trip.

Having something you love to look forward to is worth living IMO. Right now I count down the days at work until my cruise in April. Once that is over I will be counting the days til my trip to see my sister and nephews, etc.

I realized that when she was gone for a week, something snapped in me and made me think about horrible shit all week for no reason. I automatically pictured her banging a bunch of random dudes and theorizing how she should generally be a terrible person, which she hasn’t shown to be yet. I still feel like this is going to be really really bad when she gets back today, but there is no reason to feel that way. Its just a horrible gut feeling that I’ve probably developed from past relationships.

Like right now, I’m seriously thinking, "I wonder if when this chick meets one of my friends, she’ll feel compelled to sleep with him. Then, should my buddy and I just tag team her, or should I cut her off."

lol, i’m mental.

hehe yeah I know!

If I was a good looking girl like you I wouldn’t think anything of it and I would go out and play the field.. but im not.. im a guy who can’t cherry pick any gal he wants like you.. so I try to make it work even though it’s inevitably going to crash and burn anytime.

I dont like being alone heh
6+ weeks is a bit long.. I feel a bit shitty for a few days after I return if my job isn’t causing me to freak the hell out constantly….

hehe yeah I know!

If I was a good looking girl like you I wouldn’t think anything of it and I would go out and play the field.. but im not.. im a guy who can’t cherry pick any gal he wants like you.. so I try to make it work even though it’s inevitably going to crash and burn anytime.

I dont like being alone heh

frankly, I can pick up any slut in a bar. I work in politics and I’ve sold cars and bartended, so I can talk and make a sell, and I’m 5’11 190lb and about 10% fat, and I’m financially comfortable…its getting a woman who can tie her own shoes which is the problem.
I usually get it really bad but just for a few days.
I usually get it because I don’t really have any friends and I rarely do exciting things. I think it’s the idea that I was around people I liked and doing fun things and that it won’t happen again for a while is what depresses me.

no shit?

Damn

=
I feel that after that week, life can get no better. That week was a high-water mark, and it haunts me now. I worry that every sense of enjoyment will be overshadowed by that week’s superiority. Hell, I can’t even go back there and replicate it because the first time is always the best.

Wah.
I’m thinking about deleting all my pictures and giving a way all the high-res shit I had framed because i think about that trip every day. I don’t even really turn on the tv, stopped listening to the radio, and stopped reading. I now just sit in my house with a 94+point bottle of wine, turn on the Sonoma radio station I fell in love with, light a couple candles, and drink myself to sleep…lol.

the happiest people on earth are not the ones who work the most

this is one of my favorite stories. (this isnt my favorite version, that ones on the wall @ Jimmy Johns)

sadly, my tastes are a little more expensive than the fisherman’s and the new yorker’s.

i’m gonna email this to my friend though becaause she needs it.
Yes dude, that’s pretty unusual in my opinion. That vacation was like 1% of your entire 365 day year. If that’s all you’re thinking about, you should really try to find things to do locally… or figure out why that’s all you think about. What’s wrong with today that stinks so badly that you keep looking back on those 6 days? Why not plan vacation part 2 in a few months at a different location so you have something in the future to work toward?
Things were SO down in the OP’s head for such a long time.

Then he started an upward swing and became somewhat happier.

But suddenly adoring life for 6 days made a huge impact against the backdrop of his past.

Now he thinks there was something special about those 6 days that explain how happy he was… ah, those 6 days. The good ol’ days.

OP, IMO that kind of experience isn’t some once in a lifetime deal. In the last year I’ve been extraordinarily happy for weeks or months on end.

Things were SO down in the OP’s head for such a long time.

Then he started an upward swing and became somewhat happier.

But suddenly adoring life for 6 days made a huge impact against the backdrop of his past.

Now he thinks there was something special about those 6 days that explain how happy he was… ah, those 6 days. The good ol’ days.

OP, IMO that kind of experience isn’t some once in a lifetime deal. In the last year I’ve been extraordinarily happy for weeks or months on end.

This makes sense. Unfortunately that girl is not talking to me apparently, so I’m in the shitter again. I really want to establish a pattern where I have the ability to land decent women. I’m not talking about picking up hot chicks in a bar, I want someone to hang out with. I don’t really feel like that’s a possibility, plus I no longer have the option of traveling anymore because I pretty much can’t go alone. So I’m back to drinking so I don’t have to think about my life, delaying the inevitable, but at least it gets me by. I thought I had really done it this time, I thought I had learned to change my attitude and enjoy life. It looks like I was wrong. I don’t want to be like this forever. I don’t want to look back on that week as the high point of my life. I want more.

I traveled all through Europe alone and it was amazing that way. Stop telling yourself no.

I’ve been on 3 trips alone, and I did europe for 3-weeks alone too. I’m tired of being alone all the fucking time. I’ve done my time. 8 years was enough.

Well I don’t understand. You had friends on that trip, did they disappear?

two are married and the other two might as well be married. Meh, I’m just whining like a faggot now. I don’t really care to go back to the person I was 6 months ago though. I guess I’m back to solitude and track days again. At least I’ll have a scary fast car this time.

I think if I could establish a pattern where I was able to attract decent women who actually liked me, I’d feel better about things like this.

its not really worth it. Basically I met a chick, thought I was doing things the "right" way with girls for the first time in my life, and it turned out to be a big mistake to go on the trip because although the signs were there, a emotional disparity was my downfall. Now I’m fucked, again. My only hope is to wait another 8 years to find a chick who wants to be around me so I can book another vacation and have the same shit happen again. I guess I only have like 5 more vacations in my shitty life.
so I should probably take these pictures down, right? I mean fuck, its been 2 months; time to stop living in the past.

You’re right

Easier said than done. Its so hard to find "fit" women who don’t exploit their power.

Pictures from the vacation? If you can’t bare to look at them that’s kind of sad. I have pictures up from all my vacations so I can happily daydream about them and remind myself to look forward to another.

That’s true.

Don’t resent women for their power, though… that is bitter and small-minded. Their power is not intrinsically good or bad, it all depends how they use their power.

You chill out

You mind your own business?

I look at them and think about how awesome the trip was, but how I’ll never be able to replicate that again. Everything was perfect for that trip. I had a cool girl, all of my friends, super inexpensive, and just absurdly fun.

I don’t see how any vacation will ever compare. I’ve been applying for jobs out there, trying to move.

Rar! Seriously though, you need to chill. Be productive

I look at them and think about how awesome the trip was, but how I’ll never be able to replicate that again. Everything was perfect for that trip. I had a cool girl, all of my friends, super inexpensive, and just absurdly fun.

I don’t see how any vacation will ever compare. I’ve been applying for jobs out there, trying to move.

One thing I like is that your feelings of depression don’t have floaty, vague, mysterious causes. You have certain very specific beliefs that produce a lot of anxiety, and you can express the reasons for your anxiety. I hate it when people just "feel sad". What is that?

Anyways, you’re not thinking clearly about this but I have to do some work so I can’t find the skip-in-logic right now.

I have a pretty thick skin for haterade.

I look at them and think about how awesome the trip was, but how I’ll never be able to replicate that again. Everything was perfect for that trip. I had a cool girl, all of my friends, super inexpensive, and just absurdly fun.

I don’t see how any vacation will ever compare. I’ve been applying for jobs out there, trying to move.

I don’t know why you would think I’m giving you hate, I’m TRYING really really fucking hard to get you to look at the positives and you refuse to, so I honestly give up because I don’t get the point really. If you just want to be negative and mope around like you did for months again then so be it. You might do well with a self ban.

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