I don’t know what’s up with me. I realize everyone goes through good, bad and mixed days, but somehow I feel my mood swings can get kind of out of control. I lack the ability to pretend to be happy or in a normal mood in front of others when I’m feeling sad.

I believe this is a serious issue, especially if you’re on a trip with a friend and are supposed to be having fun and trying to stay out of the stressful and boring routine. I’d like to genuinely live life for a few hours.

I’m not looking for the magical solution here, nor I’m looking for secret formulas. I just need your honest advice (even if it’s harsh), perhaps I need someone to slap me in the face with reality. It often does the trick.

Here is a novel idea that almost everyone misses. How about you actually allow yourself to feel sad without judging yourself. Watch the unhappiness melt away.

When you try to run from feelings, they come after you, when you face them and feel them and allow yourself to just have them — even if it takes awhile — they dissolve, and they usually leave you with answers as to where they came from, and why.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve made a new rule for times when I don’t do as well on something that I had high expectations for or I just feel down. I let myself feel sad and depressed for a little bit, maybe an hour or so and then I force myself to move on and do something else. So far, it’s worked. Obviously if it was something bigger like losing a loved one, then the down period would be much longer, but still, I would grieve during this time and eventually I feel I would be all "grieved" out and then move on with things.

Feelings are very temporary in the whole scheme of things. Its when we dwell on these feelings and start to ignore the rest of life in front of us that we dig ourselves into a rut. Sometimes you have to force yourself to start doing something else and eventually, as you start getting re-engaged in life, those old feelings seem to wash away and they’ll just be a memory. Of course, they might come back later because of a new situation or something jogs your memory, but again, as long as you keep on moving through life after you’ve allowed enough time to feel these emotions, they’ll eventually go away. I actually am glad we can feel like this sometimes, it makes me appreciate the better times more. Think about it, if you were always happy or content, then life would be really boring. Life’s interesting when all of these emotions are kind of balanced out and no one emotion takes control of your life.
i have the same experience, i’ve found spending more time outdoors and exercising to be very helpful. when you start feeling "down" try going for a long walk
Thank you for the advice, I think it makes sense…

In fact, it’s what I try to do. But it’s so bad when I feel like crying and nothing comes out of my eyes. I just feel this weird thing in my stomach and throat. And I really want to let everything go out.

I also would like to have some control over those feelings. Today it happened again. I was having a good time with my two friends at some pub but suddenly I started to think about stuff, and then I couldn’t keep up with the conversation anymore. I just sat there and listened. I feel like shit. I wish I could at least wait to be alone.
I go through the same exact things. I suffer from anxiety and bipolar disorder. so first off when i go out to bars and hang out, i am usually really quiet because i’m very nervous about what to say. I have to be around people I know well. With being bipolar, i go through episodes of depression where i like to be by myself, but i try and stay doing things. Unfortunately, my friends don’t understand that i go through phases where i withdraw completely, and a lot have stopped being my friend or calling me.
People are being very patient with me, but I know there’s a time when they’ll get tired of all the shit, it always happens unless things go towards a more positive direction.

I don’t know if I go as far as being bipolar. In the past I’ve considered going to seek professional help, but then I’ll go through a long stage of no bad feelings, at most I would adopt a "who the fuck cares" attitude towards my own negative thoughts.

I think my main problem is low self-esteem.

You’ll let it out when you’re ready, it’s ok to be unable to express it physically even though you know it inside.

Hang in there man. Let yourself feel, it’s the key to controlling the emotions. Surrender to them, and you’ll find an ironic twist, you’ll be able to manage them.
Thanks, I’ve been talking to a friend about stuff and I’ve let myself think about my life.

I think I feel much better now, I’m back home and ready to start with work tomorrow.

I think the world constantly tries to overwork us and stretch us beyond our capacity. I believe that human beings should act like human beings rather than attempting to see how far they can go before their tank reaches empty.

Emotionally that’s what people often do, and our culture tells people "Don’t feel, just deal."

Truth is, if you let yourself feel something and you manage it correctly by feeling it, taking a short break to get active, then feeling it again, you can systematically face something and figure out the answers, but society says "Suppress it, crush it, suck it up, just forget about it" — and none of those actually work. They do the opposite.

Handle your emotions by experiencing them in appropriate ways and at appropriate times. You choose when those times are based on how they affect your quality of life.
I hear you as far as being down… I’m there and trying to ride it out… but it hasnt seemed to diminish at all. Theres times I think that if it wouldnt put my family through hell I’d like to drive into a tree

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