I’m begging to think people (esp girls) want to have nothing to do with me..

People drag me into their drama, and then get me all worked up, etc. Fine, whatever… but when it comes to doing some nice things for people, I get a feeling they either don’t want me to do nice things or don’t want me around really any more. Case in point:

-A female friend of mine, who I have asked out twice and have been best friends with for 4 years, has a birthday today. This week, I offered to take her out for her birthday today and even got her a little present (nothing big, just a DVD). So, when i ask her, she starts making excuses that she is going to her parents and her parents may do something for her and then she has to work later tonight. Fine, work thing, we can do something before she has to go out.

So, I mention to her, how about I go to her parents place to wish her a happy birthday. After all, her parents absolutely love me, think I am the best thing to ever happen to her, etc. Her mom, is sort of like a mom to me. So, she turns it around and goes "well, I don’t know what I’m doing yet." So, I call her, she doesn’t answer. Text her a happy birthday wish and ask her if she is up for something. Don’t even get a thank you in return and it gets completely ignored.

By the way, I am now debating about completely ignoring her from on. I just can’t take this shit any more with these excuses.

-This week, my ex-gf pretty much got mean on me. She always does this before she sees a friend of hers, for some reason or another (female best friend of hers by the way, who didn’t approve of me 2 years ago because she thought I was too nice). So, I pretty much didn’t call her in a few days, but did her a favor by sending her a cd that she needed in the mail. I won’t get into the argument, it’s just stupidity that she should not have said.

So, I figured, it’s bee 4 days after she blew some smoke out of her ass, she’s been a good friend to me since July of 07, if anything, and she’s been here for me and my dad when needed. She is going to her parents for easter tomorrow, who only live 15 minutes away. They are having an easter dinner. So, I shot her a text message this, asking her if she got the cd and inviting her over for easter breakfast, figuring I’d be nice and me and my dad would like to have her here to join us. She’s ignored it, which leads me to believe she is still annoyed at me after this week for her own stupidity.

Is it that hard to just say "sorry, I can’t" and leave it at that? No need to ignore it and be a bitch about it. I guess her lack of response means no.

3.) Last night, I made plans to go out with a female friend in her town. Pretty much, i knew this girl from work, she no longer works with me and we have been friends for 7 years now. Lately, it’s been a trend with her. Make plans for a night, but not stick with the plans and not bother calling me. So, it seemed like last night she was set with our plans on going out. All her friends were out and it was just her and I. She text me early in the night, saying her brother was going to stop by and she will call me when he’s gone. I never got a phone call (I also fell asleep at 10pm anyway, so it worked out).

Needless to say, people are fucked in the head. I’m not pressuring anyone to do anything, just trying to be nice and make plans. I gives these girls enough of their own space and it’s been the same shit with them like this for a year. Obviously, they have problems of their own, and I think it’s about time I stop being nice to them and doing them favors, and get no thanks in return from any of them, only nonsense like this.

CLIFF NOTES:
1.) Female friend of 4 years has birthday, want to take her out and be nice, she ignores me.
2.) Did a favor for ex-gf, invited her to easter breakfast, she ignored me.
3.) Wanted to hang out with friend of 7 years, she said she’d call me when her brother left her house, no phone call, she ignored me.
4.) WOMEN ARE FUCKING WHACK!
LOl, and the subject should read "begining" not "begging" haha I need to get out of the house.

No one can drag you into their drama unless you willingly allow it, and they certainly can’t get you worked up if you choose to not get worked up. The key to avoid drama is simple. Do not talk to people about anything which you know will result in the consequence of drama. If someone tries to talk to you, tell them "I don’t want to talk about this." — If people persist, you walk away from them, or hang up on them. Be polite, but set a limit and say "This is the line, don’t cross it, k? thanks."

-A female friend of mine, who I have asked out twice

Once wasn’t enough?

and have been best friends with for 4 years, has a birthday today. This week, I offered to take her out for her birthday today and even got her a little present (nothing big, just a DVD). So, when i ask her, she starts making excuses that she is going to her parents and her parents may do something for her and then she has to work later tonight. Fine, work thing, we can do something before she has to go out.

At this point, I don’t negotiate a plan, I let the other person counter-offer, and if they don’t, I ditch them. A person who doesn’t counter offer after telling you "Sorry, I’m busy, or I’m working" doesn’t want to spend time with you. It’s that simple.

So, I mention to her, how about I go to her parents place to wish her a happy birthday. After all, her parents absolutely love me, think I am the best thing to ever happen to her, etc. Her mom, is sort of like a mom to me. So, she turns it around and goes "well, I don’t know what I’m doing yet." So, I call her, she doesn’t answer. Text her a happy birthday wish and ask her if she is up for something. Don’t even get a thank you in return and it gets completely ignored.

She’s not interested. She knows you are interested, which you’re making abundantly clear to such an extreme that it’s nauseating. No disrespect, but in situations like this, I tend to detach very quickly from people, and I let them come to me — I forget they even existed, literally. I’m very impatient when I sense someone is avoiding me or giving me excuses, and I’m quick to cut them off in order to save myself the extra time that would be wasted on their bullshit excuses.

By the way, I am now debating about completely ignoring her from on. I just can’t take this shit any more with these excuses.

Ignoring her is only good if you detach entirely emotionally, and also let go of any resentment or anger you have. You can feel the anger if you want, but you must do it on your own, not with her.

-This week, my ex-gf pretty much got mean on me. She always does this before she sees a friend of hers, for some reason or another (female best friend of hers by the way, who didn’t approve of me 2 years ago because she thought I was too nice).

You are too nice. You need to start putting yoursel first and treating yourself with dignity and respect. Never undermine your integrity by associating with people who don’t want your company.

So, I pretty much didn’t call her in a few days, but did her a favor by sending her a cd that she needed in the mail. I won’t get into the argument, it’s just stupidity that she should not have said.

She knows she can say it, because she knows that CD will still come in the main rain or shine. I am not kind — though I am always respectful — to people who treat me poorly, or disrespect me. I am cold, detached and quick to make sure the drama, frustration, irritation or disrespect ends. I know I can’t change other people, so if I handle things appropriatley and the person still wants to act the way they’re acting, I make a decision to stop allowing them into my life.

So, I figured, it’s bee 4 days after she blew some smoke out of her ass, she’s been a good friend to me since July of 07, if anything, and she’s been here for me and my dad when needed. She is going to her parents for easter tomorrow, who only live 15 minutes away. They are having an easter dinner. So, I shot her a text message this, asking her if she got the cd and inviting her over for easter breakfast, figuring I’d be nice and me and my dad would like to have her here to join us. She’s ignored it, which leads me to believe she is still annoyed at me after this week for her own stupidity.

I wouldn’t be petty, but I sure wouldn’t "try to be nice." I’m not disrespectful, but like I said, I don’t go out of my way for someone who has tried to press my face into the shit they just took.

Is it that hard to just say "sorry, I can’t" and leave it at that? No need to ignore it and be a bitch about it. I guess her lack of response means no.

Never wait for people to give you what you want, instead — take….what you want. That means often leaving people behind and forgiving them, if only to let yourself move on. I forgive people often who most don’t think deserve to be forgiven, but that’s how I terminate resentments and avoid hurting myself! Forgive, that way you can leave them behind, which is exactly where they belong.

3.) Last night, I made plans to go out with a female friend in her town. Pretty much, i knew this girl from work, she no longer works with me and we have been friends for 7 years now. Lately, it’s been a trend with her. Make plans for a night, but not stick with the plans and not bother calling me.

That’s called "Date breaker" — they are red flags. They mean two things. 1: I don’t like you very much, and 2: I don’t respect you, hence I don’t waste all of 30 seconds calling you on my cell phone to let you know I won’t be coming. 3: If I do call, I’ll do it at 6:59 p.m. the very same night that I’m supposed to meet you at 7. That way not only can I be a total cunt, but now I can do it with pizzzzaz and style.

So, it seemed like last night she was set with our plans on going out. All her friends were out and it was just her and I. She text me early in the night, saying her brother was going to stop by and she will call me when he’s gone. I never got a phone call (I also fell asleep at 10pm anyway, so it worked out).

More red flags and more disrespect.

Needless to say, people are fucked in the head. I’m not pressuring anyone to do anything, just trying to be nice and make plans.

No, you’re being a nice guy douche bag and you need to realize that nearly everyone is going to fail you and fuck you until you set boundaries and start being highly selective about the kind of people you keep company with. Always dump the losers. Just like the stock market — don’t keep a losing stock, dump that shit and let your others ride. Hang out with people who respect you, and who do what they say they’ll do — who are consistent, and who walk the talk. Also, always make secondary plans. People can’t fuck you, if you’re already prepared with a chastity belt — be prepared, so when they don’t call, you’ll be too shit faced hanging out with some other chick to care.

I gives these girls enough of their own space and it’s been the same shit with them like this for a year. Obviously, they have problems of their own, and I think it’s about time I stop being nice to them and doing them favors, and get no thanks in return from any of them, only nonsense like this.

CLIFF NOTES:
1.) Female friend of 4 years has birthday, want to take her out and be nice, she ignores me.
2.) Did a favor for ex-gf, invited her to easter breakfast, she ignored me.
3.) Wanted to hang out with friend of 7 years, she said she’d call me when her brother left her house, no phone call, she ignored me.
4.) WOMEN ARE FUCKING WHACK!

Always look at yourself when you feel a lot of people are fucking you, because chances are that while they may be douche bags, you’re probably the main reason that they’re still present in your life. You have to decide what these people have to offer you, and stop trying to prove what you have to offer them.

Seriously man, take my advice and you’ll be happy. You won’t be a mean, lonely, desperate prick. You’ll be respected, polite and you’ll accept the world and people for who they are. You’ll weed out the users, losers, and shitheads. Detoxing socially is the best thing you could do for yourself, get rid of these losers and start being responsible for allowing people to continue treating you that way.
Hey, I appreciate the above response. While I have some rebuttles to some of it, it’s pretty darn straight forward and I really have nothing more to add to what was said.

My only question: Do I confront these girls on their bullshit or do I just ignore and move on? Ignoring it is easiest to do, but eventually they come back and make the same bullshit happen. Confronting them, makes it show I have some balls, but also may lead to me losing anything I have with them… so I’m in limbo.

Never argue with someone when you don’t have the answer. *grin*

My only question: Do I confront these girls on their bullshit or do I just ignore and move on?

No confrontation. Detach, and go on with life.

Ignoring it is easiest to do, but eventually they come back and make the same bullshit happen.

When they return, keep it simple. "What, my avoiding you wasn’t a big enough hint? Please do not talk to me, we’re finished."

There is no reason to bother communicating with someone who doesn’t respect you.

Confronting them, makes it show I have some balls, but also may lead to me losing anything I have with them… so I’m in limbo.

Confronting them makes you waste more time on someone who is just going to argue with you using excuses that don’t even have to be based in reality.

When people don’t respect you, you lose, so you must respect yourself enough to cut off people who abuse whatever you do offer, but you must never be a victim about it. You choose to give what you do, and if you have expectations, then that’s your choice. You must be responsible if you want to live a satisfying life.

Hey, I appreciate the above response. While I have some rebuttles to some of it, it’s pretty darn straight forward and I really have nothing more to add to what was said.

My only question: Do I confront these girls on their bullshit or do I just ignore and move on? Ignoring it is easiest to do, but eventually they come back and make the same bullshit happen. Confronting them, makes it show I have some balls, but also may lead to me losing anything I have with them… so I’m in limbo.

weak. confrontation here shows you have NO balls. it means you’re out to satisfy your desire for answers and closure that you’re probably not going to get either way you go about it (as you’ve no doubt noticed, people lie). and even if you did get answers, you’d most likely just discover what we’ve already told you. and what’s even worse about the bolded statement is that you wanted to use confrontation as a means of leverage, not closure.

if you wanna show you have balls, have the balls to walk away from them without saying a word. they don’t come back unless you let them in.

next time you see them trying to get back in, be dismissive, but fairly nice about it. basically getting out of the conversation as quickly and smoothly as you can.
I agree with everything in this thread… Life is too short to hang on to things that ruin it for you..
Metallic Blue, I don’t always agree wholly with what you say, but in this particular thread I must say, flawless victory.

Hat’s off to you sir.

Well said.
lol female friend

Seriously, why call someone a friend when they are not?
ranger you’re the master of getting yourself in the freindzone with every girl you like, and unless your gay, all these female "friends" arent friends, they are just future targets.

get over yourself, or grow up.
People drag me into their drama, and then get me all worked up, etc. Fine, whatever… but when it comes to doing some nice things for people, I get a feeling they either don’t want me to do nice things or don’t want me around really any more. Case in point:

-A female friend of mine, who I have asked out twice and have been best friends with for 4 years, has a birthday today. This week, I offered to take her out for her birthday today and even got her a little present (nothing big, just a DVD). So, when i ask her, she starts making excuses that she is going to her parents and her parents may do something for her and then she has to work later tonight. Fine, work thing, we can do something before she has to go out.

So, I mention to her, how about I go to her parents place to wish her a happy birthday. After all, her parents absolutely love me, think I am the best thing to ever happen to her, etc. Her mom, is sort of like a mom to me. So, she turns it around and goes "well, I don’t know what I’m doing yet." So, I call her, she doesn’t answer. Text her a happy birthday wish and ask her if she is up for something. Don’t even get a thank you in return and it gets completely ignored.

By the way, I am now debating about completely ignoring her from on. I just can’t take this shit any more with these excuses.

-This week, my ex-gf pretty much got mean on me. She always does this before she sees a friend of hers, for some reason or another (female best friend of hers by the way, who didn’t approve of me 2 years ago because she thought I was too nice). So, I pretty much didn’t call her in a few days, but did her a favor by sending her a cd that she needed in the mail. I won’t get into the argument, it’s just stupidity that she should not have said.

So, I figured, it’s bee 4 days after she blew some smoke out of her ass, she’s been a good friend to me since July of 07, if anything, and she’s been here for me and my dad when needed. She is going to her parents for easter tomorrow, who only live 15 minutes away. They are having an easter dinner. So, I shot her a text message this, asking her if she got the cd and inviting her over for easter breakfast, figuring I’d be nice and me and my dad would like to have her here to join us. She’s ignored it, which leads me to believe she is still annoyed at me after this week for her own stupidity.

Is it that hard to just say "sorry, I can’t" and leave it at that? No need to ignore it and be a bitch about it. I guess her lack of response means no.

3.) Last night, I made plans to go out with a female friend in her town. Pretty much, i knew this girl from work, she no longer works with me and we have been friends for 7 years now. Lately, it’s been a trend with her. Make plans for a night, but not stick with the plans and not bother calling me. So, it seemed like last night she was set with our plans on going out. All her friends were out and it was just her and I. She text me early in the night, saying her brother was going to stop by and she will call me when he’s gone. I never got a phone call (I also fell asleep at 10pm anyway, so it worked out).

Needless to say, people are fucked in the head. I’m not pressuring anyone to do anything, just trying to be nice and make plans. I gives these girls enough of their own space and it’s been the same shit with them like this for a year. Obviously, they have problems of their own, and I think it’s about time I stop being nice to them and doing them favors, and get no thanks in return from any of them, only nonsense like this.

CLIFF NOTES:
1.) Female friend of 4 years has birthday, want to take her out and be nice, she ignores me.
2.) Did a favor for ex-gf, invited her to easter breakfast, she ignored me.
3.) Wanted to hang out with friend of 7 years, she said she’d call me when her brother left her house, no phone call, she ignored me.
4.) WOMEN ARE FUCKING WHACK!
LOl, and the subject should read "begining" not "begging" haha I need to get out of the house.

No one can drag you into their drama unless you willingly allow it, and they certainly can’t get you worked up if you choose to not get worked up. The key to avoid drama is simple. Do not talk to people about anything which you know will result in the consequence of drama. If someone tries to talk to you, tell them "I don’t want to talk about this." — If people persist, you walk away from them, or hang up on them. Be polite, but set a limit and say "This is the line, don’t cross it, k? thanks."

-A female friend of mine, who I have asked out twice

Once wasn’t enough?

and have been best friends with for 4 years, has a birthday today. This week, I offered to take her out for her birthday today and even got her a little present (nothing big, just a DVD). So, when i ask her, she starts making excuses that she is going to her parents and her parents may do something for her and then she has to work later tonight. Fine, work thing, we can do something before she has to go out.

At this point, I don’t negotiate a plan, I let the other person counter-offer, and if they don’t, I ditch them. A person who doesn’t counter offer after telling you "Sorry, I’m busy, or I’m working" doesn’t want to spend time with you. It’s that simple.

So, I mention to her, how about I go to her parents place to wish her a happy birthday. After all, her parents absolutely love me, think I am the best thing to ever happen to her, etc. Her mom, is sort of like a mom to me. So, she turns it around and goes "well, I don’t know what I’m doing yet." So, I call her, she doesn’t answer. Text her a happy birthday wish and ask her if she is up for something. Don’t even get a thank you in return and it gets completely ignored.

She’s not interested. She knows you are interested, which you’re making abundantly clear to such an extreme that it’s nauseating. No disrespect, but in situations like this, I tend to detach very quickly from people, and I let them come to me — I forget they even existed, literally. I’m very impatient when I sense someone is avoiding me or giving me excuses, and I’m quick to cut them off in order to save myself the extra time that would be wasted on their bullshit excuses.

By the way, I am now debating about completely ignoring her from on. I just can’t take this shit any more with these excuses.

Ignoring her is only good if you detach entirely emotionally, and also let go of any resentment or anger you have. You can feel the anger if you want, but you must do it on your own, not with her.

-This week, my ex-gf pretty much got mean on me. She always does this before she sees a friend of hers, for some reason or another (female best friend of hers by the way, who didn’t approve of me 2 years ago because she thought I was too nice).

You are too nice. You need to start putting yoursel first and treating yourself with dignity and respect. Never undermine your integrity by associating with people who don’t want your company.

So, I pretty much didn’t call her in a few days, but did her a favor by sending her a cd that she needed in the mail. I won’t get into the argument, it’s just stupidity that she should not have said.

She knows she can say it, because she knows that CD will still come in the main rain or shine. I am not kind — though I am always respectful — to people who treat me poorly, or disrespect me. I am cold, detached and quick to make sure the drama, frustration, irritation or disrespect ends. I know I can’t change other people, so if I handle things appropriatley and the person still wants to act the way they’re acting, I make a decision to stop allowing them into my life.

So, I figured, it’s bee 4 days after she blew some smoke out of her ass, she’s been a good friend to me since July of 07, if anything, and she’s been here for me and my dad when needed. She is going to her parents for easter tomorrow, who only live 15 minutes away. They are having an easter dinner. So, I shot her a text message this, asking her if she got the cd and inviting her over for easter breakfast, figuring I’d be nice and me and my dad would like to have her here to join us. She’s ignored it, which leads me to believe she is still annoyed at me after this week for her own stupidity.

I wouldn’t be petty, but I sure wouldn’t "try to be nice." I’m not disrespectful, but like I said, I don’t go out of my way for someone who has tried to press my face into the shit they just took.

Is it that hard to just say "sorry, I can’t" and leave it at that? No need to ignore it and be a bitch about it. I guess her lack of response means no.

Never wait for people to give you what you want, instead — take….what you want. That means often leaving people behind and forgiving them, if only to let yourself move on. I forgive people often who most don’t think deserve to be forgiven, but that’s how I terminate resentments and avoid hurting myself! Forgive, that way you can leave them behind, which is exactly where they belong.

3.) Last night, I made plans to go out with a female friend in her town. Pretty much, i knew this girl from work, she no longer works with me and we have been friends for 7 years now. Lately, it’s been a trend with her. Make plans for a night, but not stick with the plans and not bother calling me.

That’s called "Date breaker" — they are red flags. They mean two things. 1: I don’t like you very much, and 2: I don’t respect you, hence I don’t waste all of 30 seconds calling you on my cell phone to let you know I won’t be coming. 3: If I do call, I’ll do it at 6:59 p.m. the very same night that I’m supposed to meet you at 7. That way not only can I be a total cunt, but now I can do it with pizzzzaz and style.

So, it seemed like last night she was set with our plans on going out. All her friends were out and it was just her and I. She text me early in the night, saying her brother was going to stop by and she will call me when he’s gone. I never got a phone call (I also fell asleep at 10pm anyway, so it worked out).

More red flags and more disrespect.

Needless to say, people are fucked in the head. I’m not pressuring anyone to do anything, just trying to be nice and make plans.

No, you’re being a nice guy douche bag and you need to realize that nearly everyone is going to fail you and fuck you until you set boundaries and start being highly selective about the kind of people you keep company with. Always dump the losers. Just like the stock market — don’t keep a losing stock, dump that shit and let your others ride. Hang out with people who respect you, and who do what they say they’ll do — who are consistent, and who walk the talk. Also, always make secondary plans. People can’t fuck you, if you’re already prepared with a chastity belt — be prepared, so when they don’t call, you’ll be too shit faced hanging out with some other chick to care.

I gives these girls enough of their own space and it’s been the same shit with them like this for a year. Obviously, they have problems of their own, and I think it’s about time I stop being nice to them and doing them favors, and get no thanks in return from any of them, only nonsense like this.

CLIFF NOTES:
1.) Female friend of 4 years has birthday, want to take her out and be nice, she ignores me.
2.) Did a favor for ex-gf, invited her to easter breakfast, she ignored me.
3.) Wanted to hang out with friend of 7 years, she said she’d call me when her brother left her house, no phone call, she ignored me.
4.) WOMEN ARE FUCKING WHACK!

Always look at yourself when you feel a lot of people are fucking you, because chances are that while they may be douche bags, you’re probably the main reason that they’re still present in your life. You have to decide what these people have to offer you, and stop trying to prove what you have to offer them.

Seriously man, take my advice and you’ll be happy. You won’t be a mean, lonely, desperate prick. You’ll be respected, polite and you’ll accept the world and people for who they are. You’ll weed out the users, losers, and shitheads. Detoxing socially is the best thing you could do for yourself, get rid of these losers and start being responsible for allowing people to continue treating you that way.
Hey, I appreciate the above response. While I have some rebuttles to some of it, it’s pretty darn straight forward and I really have nothing more to add to what was said.

My only question: Do I confront these girls on their bullshit or do I just ignore and move on? Ignoring it is easiest to do, but eventually they come back and make the same bullshit happen. Confronting them, makes it show I have some balls, but also may lead to me losing anything I have with them… so I’m in limbo.

Never argue with someone when you don’t have the answer. *grin*

My only question: Do I confront these girls on their bullshit or do I just ignore and move on?

No confrontation. Detach, and go on with life.

Ignoring it is easiest to do, but eventually they come back and make the same bullshit happen.

When they return, keep it simple. "What, my avoiding you wasn’t a big enough hint? Please do not talk to me, we’re finished."

There is no reason to bother communicating with someone who doesn’t respect you.

Confronting them, makes it show I have some balls, but also may lead to me losing anything I have with them… so I’m in limbo.

Confronting them makes you waste more time on someone who is just going to argue with you using excuses that don’t even have to be based in reality.

When people don’t respect you, you lose, so you must respect yourself enough to cut off people who abuse whatever you do offer, but you must never be a victim about it. You choose to give what you do, and if you have expectations, then that’s your choice. You must be responsible if you want to live a satisfying life.

Hey, I appreciate the above response. While I have some rebuttles to some of it, it’s pretty darn straight forward and I really have nothing more to add to what was said.

My only question: Do I confront these girls on their bullshit or do I just ignore and move on? Ignoring it is easiest to do, but eventually they come back and make the same bullshit happen. Confronting them, makes it show I have some balls, but also may lead to me losing anything I have with them… so I’m in limbo.

weak. confrontation here shows you have NO balls. it means you’re out to satisfy your desire for answers and closure that you’re probably not going to get either way you go about it (as you’ve no doubt noticed, people lie). and even if you did get answers, you’d most likely just discover what we’ve already told you. and what’s even worse about the bolded statement is that you wanted to use confrontation as a means of leverage, not closure.

if you wanna show you have balls, have the balls to walk away from them without saying a word. they don’t come back unless you let them in.

next time you see them trying to get back in, be dismissive, but fairly nice about it. basically getting out of the conversation as quickly and smoothly as you can.
I agree with everything in this thread… Life is too short to hang on to things that ruin it for you..
Metallic Blue, I don’t always agree wholly with what you say, but in this particular thread I must say, flawless victory.

Hat’s off to you sir.

Well said.
lol female friend

Seriously, why call someone a friend when they are not?
ranger you’re the master of getting yourself in the freindzone with every girl you like, and unless your gay, all these female "friends" arent friends, they are just future targets.

get over yourself, or grow up.

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