I’m seriously dumpy right now, and my friends don’t even want to be around me. Its been really bad lately, but anyways…

I don’t see why any woman would want me to come up her to and start talking about a bunch of arbitrary garbage neither one of us gives a fuck about. Sure, its worked in the past, even recently, but why would they want me around them? I don’t get it. Sure I’m fairly pumped, good fashion sense and all that crap…I mean, I’ve been unfairly graced with good genetics, but any woman worth her salt should realize that men just say all this arbitrary garbage they don’t really care about, which I don’t care about, in what they must interpret as a futile attempt to get in their pants, because that’s exactly what it looks like.

Little do they know that I’m pathetic and just want a woman to talk to me and pretend to want to be around me.

I tried to make myself go out tonight and talk to women, but I felt worthless, pathetic, and futile in a game filled with dudes in shiny shirts with leased black base model bimmers, poor musical taste, and boring run of the mill jobs who somehow are significantly higher on the social ladder than I am. All this is fucking bullshit anyway.

Thanks for listening to my bullshit, like usual.

/gayness

well, you have to do something when you’ve lost all your friends.
When you "go out" where are you going?
To me, when you say arbitrary garbage I think of a guy at a bar/restaurant saying "hey did you see deal or no deal last night?" Or some meaningless statement like that.

However, if I understand what you are saying - do you want to have a deeper conversation with substance with a woman?
If so, maybe just change where you are meeting these women at?
If I where at a bookstore and someone started a conversation with me about a book I had in hand, I wouldn’t mind it at all. In fact, I think most people would be open to this or a similar situation.

Bars, which is obviously part of the problem. I’m pretty much tired of this game where I go either to the grocery store or a bar, see a hot woman, get excited by thinking how I can get a # (which will hopefully lead to more), but then talk myself out of it because there is no way this woman wants to hear anything I have to say because it all means nothing. Even if I saw a girl in a library reading a book I’ve read, why would she care to hear what I have to say about it. Its creepy. Some random dude coming up to you, talking about something you may or may not have in common, which is probably a lie, and hopefully she can get out of there before this weird dude rapes her.
Look don’t go out asif its a form of torture, wether you’d be walking into a bar or a torture room = the same for you at this moment. A bar isn’t a place made to torment you, you talk for fun reasons, and in order to get to know someone for fun.

If you go in there with a omfg mood, well lets just say this positivity attracts more positivity, you harvest what you seed, if you put negativity in, you’ll harvest negativity out of it.

For everything that you do and want to achieve in life a positive attitude is required

Be positive like the sun, instead of a black hole of negativity.

Again,its a continues investment of putting in seeds of positivity into your life, in order to harvest and get positivity casted back into your life.

I learnt this last night…

My friends introduced me to an absolutely beautiful woman last night and we got on great (she stayed the night!). We have a date this Thursday and I’m psyched to Hell.

QFTW.

I’m really trying to flip the switch right now. I was psyched to go out yesterday and do something positive for a change, but the negativity took over like it usually does, every day. I’m having a tough time concentrating on anything, either not sleeping, or sleeping 8+ hours and still tired, not wanting to eat, not wanting to lift, and generally back to not caring about anything other than a problem that is so easy to fix…just go talk to girls again.
well, i don’t expect a girl to just sit there and do nothing while waiting for someone to approach her. she should be doing something to at least past the time until she’s approached. with that in mind, i don’t really see it as interrupting her.

when i’m out, i’m usually open to a good conversation and meeting new people, so regardless if i’m already doing something i don’t mind being approached. i apply the same mentality to her, that she won’t mind. if i’m too busy or just not in the mood, i’ll politely tell the person to "go away", i’d expect the same in return.

furthermore, i feel i have a lot to offer in the way of conversation, friendship, companionship, etc. that the other person will simply benefit from having me in their lives even if it’s just for the duration of that short conversation. it’s a gift, so if anything i feel i’m doing something good/nice for them. if they are not interested or don’t want it, that’s fine too.

with all these thoughts going on in the back of my mind, interrupting her is the least of my concerns, especially when in what i deem to be appropriate environments like a bar/club (things would be different at the gym for example).

if you don’t feel they want to be around you, then they won’t be. you need to enjoy being around yourself, you need to discuss matters that you enjoy. if you’re having a good time with yourself and/or friends, people will be drawn to that. i mean, most others are looking to have fun too and if they see you’re having fun, they will at least "investigate". you in turn offer them the opportunity to join in on the fun you’re having, if they decline, it is their loss, not yours because you’re still going to have a good time.
I kind of chuckled at your OP because I feel this way when guys try and talk to me. I blow 95% of them off because I’m like "what’s the eff’ing point, they just want in my pants and are going to do all this smoke and mirrors bs to do it."

I dunno…it seems to get worse as I get older too.

exactly. Its a futile effort. What about the rare 55…how does that happen? I think i’m coming at this from a different angle. I don’t want trashy whores with fake tits. I demand more than you’re # rating given by guys in shiny shirts.

you say that like it’s a bad thing.

i don’t know of many guys who approach girls with the strict intent of being friends, especially if they are attractive. but just because they want to get into your pants, doesn’t mean that’s all they want. i’m approaching the girl because eventually i want to have sex with her, be it just for that night or throughout the course of a relationship. based on how things go, i’ll know whether i do want to have sex with her or not and if i do, if i want more than just the quick lay.

don’t you want them to be physically attracted to you and want to sex you up? i guess you just have to see if there’s more to it than just a "hit it and quit it" mentality.

well…it’s not a bad thing, but it seems like few guys at my age have balls enough to ask a girl out that they just met. They always want to "hang out", which to me means they just want to fool around.

If you want to ask a girl on a legit date…than just do it.

did it ever occur to you that rather than blow $400 on dinner that some men rather post up somewhere, drink a bottle of wine, and talk because some of us are actually interested in what you have to say. I don’t do "dates" but the women who come into my life get to do cool things like stay in the wine country for a week, peru for 2 weeks, and whatever else comes along.

where did I say a date has to be dinner?
I’m going to start outright refusing to sleep with women if I ever get the chance to sleep with them again. I’m apparently the antithesis of stereotypical men.

define "date" please.

when one person asks another to do something at a specific time. Something planned…not some spur of the moment "oh you wanna hang out blah blah."

When you first meet someone I think it’s nice if the guy actually makes plans and doesn’t go off the cuff as if it’s just some kind of last minute booty call.

seems like semantics to me. whether i use the phrase "hang out" or "date", my intent is pretty clear. i can use "hang out" in a get to know you sort of way, in a let’s go on a date way, in a have sex way and in a let’s go bowling way. the words used can be calculated, but it’s more so the intent that’s important than the actual words used.

is it that they lack the balls, or could it be that you two just met? like if it’s a short conversation and one of you has to leave, asking to hang out sometime might be just that. or is it usually after a fairly long conversation, like you meeting at a party and talking all night long?

what if they call you on a thursday to have coffee friday afternoon? for me, if i’m going to ask a person out on a "date", i need to get to know the person first. now i can get to know them well enough the first time we meet to ask them out or it might take a mini-date for me to get to know them.

it just seems like with what you’ve said, during that initial meeting, be it breif or not, they need to not only ask you out, but it has to be a legit date. if not, if just comes off as a booty call.

and why I suddenly cannot speak to women anymore. I’m trying to trick myself into using it as an opportunity to show that I have greater intentions than most leg humpers.

2.broken record

One who continually repeats the same statement with little variation, if any.

I think if I had zero contact with people in general, I’d be worse off. I’ll just stop posting in here. Sorry.

Maybe it would force you to do new things and make more friends. I actually have always cared about your situation but it’s kind of hard to help when nothing we say matters and you post the same thing over and over just like before. Something needs to change.

but she’s only one girl. not every girl will have the same thoughts running through her head as calisteph. it’s good that you have greater intentions, but you don’t have to do anything special or go out of your way to show that. if she dismisses you as a leghumper without getting to know you, then forget about her. it’s different when someone knows you and doesn’t want you, but some random chick you just met, who cares.

don’t concern yourself so much with what she thinks or how she feels. she’s only looking out for herself, if you don’t have what she wants, she’ll dismiss you. you should be doing the same at first. stay out of her head and do as you please (within reason of course, no need to be rude or mean).

Interesting…I think of hanging out as just the opposite. I would rather a guy just want to hang out instead of asking me on a formal date. Hang out to me implies a casual thing where we get to know each other as friends first without any pressures of a date. If the guy was trying to get me to fool around with him the first time we hung out though then that would be the end of any further hanging out.

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