my girlfriend has 2-5 months…

Weve only been together just over a month, but I thought Id finally found a girl who didnt have any real problems, no baggage really. We get along great, seeing each other every weekend or so. Yesterday when she and her friend came over, I could tell somethin was different though. She didnt wanna be touched or anything, and seemed upset. Finally I got the story out of her. She has Stage 4 ovarian cancer. By this stage, youre basically guaranteed not to live. She has 2-5 months to live…


In early 05, I lost my step-grandfather. A week later, one of my favorite teachers also passed. 6 months later, it was my grandma’s time, I was really close to her. Thats 3 deaths within 6 months. Add that to the fact that, 4 days before my grandma passed away, I found out I had Hepatitis C from a blood transfusion as a baby. The medicine made me very depressed, on top of what was already going on. Over the next couple years, I thought I had finally beaten depression. Now, this. I really dont know what Im gonna do right now. Everything keeps fucking up in my life, and I cant do anything about it. Im really just ranting here.

It seems like Ive realized how bad this is before she has. I dont think its really hit her yet, that by the end of the summer, she could very well no longer exist in the world. Shes gonna try chemo, but Ive seen what that does to people, its not fun. If it were me, Id rather live out my last few months having fun, not laying in bed sick all the time. I dont really know what to think right now, I cant imagine how her parents and siblings must feel.

That’s awful news! What an unfortunate situation!

In early 05, I lost my step-grandfather. A week later, one of my favorite teachers also passed. 6 months later, it was my grandma’s time, I was really close to her. Thats 3 deaths within 6 months. Add that to the fact that, 4 days before my grandma passed away, I found out I had Hepatitis C from a blood transfusion as a baby. The medicine made me very depressed, on top of what was already going on. Over the next couple years, I thought I had finally beaten depression. Now, this. I really dont know what Im gonna do right now. Everything keeps fucking up in my life, and I cant do anything about it. Im really just ranting here.

Life is painful, no doubt man. I can attest to that. Life is suffering at times, but without suffering, we have no opportunity for anything else. I don’t embrace suffering though, but I do think you need to live for something more. Just because their time is up, doesn’t mean yours is. Live, live, live — form bonds with people, form them for the time you have them, inevitably all things fail, all things die, everything fades to gray, and evaporates into the darkness.

Living is an honor to those who love us and those who did love us while here. You’re obligated to make a choice to decide who you’re going to be in relationship to these seemingly overwhelming losses, but that’s what life is man — it’s one big beautiful letdown. The pain, the rain, the loss and a cause, you choose whether or not the shadow proves the sunshine.

It seems like Ive realized how bad this is before she has. I dont think its really hit her yet, that by the end of the summer, she could very well no longer exist in the world. Shes gonna try chemo, but Ive seen what that does to people, its not fun. If it were me, Id rather live out my last few months having fun, not laying in bed sick all the time. I dont really know what to think right now, I cant imagine how her parents and siblings must feel.

Is she giving up, surrendering peacefully, or planning to fight? Does she know she has options to treat the cancer beyond Chemo? Not everyone is competent in Cancer care. There are alternatives, there are incredible specialists with revolutionary new treatments. If she wants to — or you choose to, you can research late stage Ovarian Cancer and seek out the best specialist. There is usually always someone at the top of the field who knows and does experimental treatments which can turn the corner in miracle cases.

Some say believing you can win is enough, but I don’t like leaving things up to faith and higher powers. I prefer probabilities and possibilities, and time and time again, I’ve seen it’s possible to win a fight that everyone was sure would be lost, but I’ve also seen people who believed with no doubt that they’d win — and thus they did their best, only to lose. Me personally? I love a good fight.

If I was going to try Chemo, I’d say fuck that — I’d go after the best of the best treatments possible with the best specialists. I’ve seen what some call miracles — I know somewhere somehow there is an answer behind each, but whether it’s luck of the draw or full out belief in God, or the possibility of overcoming the impossible — whatever, people have done it.

So, there you go. We come here to make a choice about who we are now, and who we’ll be — we choose to live, we choose to die. Some of use don’t even know we have a choice, and thus it’s as though no choice existed at all — but our ignorance doesn’t change the truth.

Decide what direction to go, do it with 100% conviction. Whether it’s to live the last days of life fully, or to fight a war against Cancer. She can choose and you can help her do that.
To make you feel better. My aunt, was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer back in August of 2006 I believe. At the time, it was pretty serious. The doctors told her she had 6 months to live. My aunt, the strong willpower that she had, seeked every form of treatment that she could for this cancer. It’s been over a year, and she still lives today and recently, as of this past Thanksgiving, the doctors told her she was pretty much cancer free. She had her up and down moments through Chemo and all of that for over a year, but in the end, happiness helped her prevail over everything else. She was just glad she is alive and is still going strong today.

All I can tell you, is be there for your current gf as much as you can. Support her, help her get through this, etc. If you truly do love her, let her know this. She’s going to be going through some rough times, that much I can guarantee you. In the end, God will have a way of working things out and for you and her, I hope that both of you live a strong and happy life together for many years to come. Don’t give up, and make sure to encourage her as much as you can and not to give up on life or herself.
How sad, sorry to hear that considering I remember your past with women and go figure you find one you like and are happy and this bomb gets dropped. However, there have been people diagnosed with cancer who has lived til old age and certainly lived past the amount of time the doctors gave (in your case 2-5 months).

All I can say is just be there for her and try to stay positive.
Thats hella sad man
Im sorry for you and your girl..
i am so sorry, i will keep you in my thoughts. Hang in there.
I’m really sorry to hear this…. If she already hasn’t, I would try to urge her to get 2nd, 3rd and 4th opinions on options and possible treatments.

I knew one of my friends needed to get treatment for a foot injury, the first doc told her that she needed it to get amputated. She went to another doc who was able to give her treatment for the injury, which she is now doing completly fine. May not be too related, but it may work for her. Either way, its a sad thing to hear
Update: She got a 2nd opinion, may not be as bad as it sounds. I dont know all the details yet, but theyre now saying it may not be Stage 4, could be even Stage 1-2, meaning it would be operable. However, this would mean she could never have kids, though thats not really a problem for her right now. Still, Ive been seeing her as much as I can, and I can tell she’s trying to not think about it, and just live life, which is what she should be doing.= in my opinion. Ill keep you guys updated.
just came in here to say I am sorry to hear about your girl.

I’m really sorry that you and her have to go through this.
I hope that it turns out to not be as bad as they first thought.
Terrible news to hear about anyone involved in your life. Just be there for her, and support her, and understand that she’s gonna be going through an emotional rollercoaster. Best of luck to the both of you.

Can she have her eggs frozen, or doesn’t that work as well as freezing sperm?
If she can’t have kids she can always adopt. I can understand being upset that you cant bare your own children, but there’s nothing more annoying when those people don’t even contemplate helping the millions of adoptable children. Just because you can’t have your own genes spread doesn’t mean you can’t be a wonderful parent to a child/baby who doesn’t have anyone.
FUCK CANCER!!!!!

Good luck to her, you and both of your friends/family.
My good friend overcame ovarian cancer three years ago, and the best advice i can give is to be there and be compassionate. Good luck. Hopefully you and/or her can get involved in a Relay for Life or some variation in the future!

Work towards the cure!

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