But I know for sure I want to be with her still. We both kind of sat down, and said we need to start off as friends again. Start from the beginning. And let the relationship evolve again, in order to build trust. Does this sound like a good idea?

I’ve just had this horrible sinking feeling in my chest that won’t go away…. I want to be with her
Probably not.

You’ll both most liekly never get over trust issues and fail eventually…but sure, go ahead and try it out with the pretenses that IF you two still feel untrusting of one another or ever feel like you want to stray to flat out tell the other person so you can end it for good.

well you could always stop considering cheating a betrayal.

if you love someone you want them to be happy. what if sleeping around makes them happy?

if she ratted you off to the cops though run away.

I’m almost willing to accept this just to be with her

whoa, you shouldn’t be ok with your gf sleeping around.
If I found out my girl was with another man she would be a completely different person to me. I would care about her, I know I would.. but I wouldn’t be able to have a relationship with her ever again, intimitely or socially

it’s not ok to do this to anyone

.

i wouldnt, but thats because i equate loyalty with not exposing me to stds or being a dad to a child that isnt mine.
you will most likely just recreate the same relationship.

This is going to hugely fail. Open relationships should never begin because of a betrayal of trust.

You’re going to relive the same relationship you had the first time, you’re going to get hurt [badly], and it’s going to be much, much worse the second time around. Don’t do it.

Who are we to decide what virtues in a partner are most important to a person? We cannot say someone should or shouldn’t do most things…with some exceptions of course.

What do you mean by betrayed each other? We can’t help you very much if you don’t tell us what’s really going on…

Sounds like they both cheated on each other. I’m going to assume he cheated first and maybe felt bad but thought he learned the errors of his ways and vowed he’d never do it again. Then she cheated on him and it hurt his ego. Amirite?

If the feeling is really fear of being alone, dump her. One or both of you will cheat again.
Just from the title, I can tell you this will not work.

Come on, you BOTH cheated on each other! Not just one of you, both of you!

Why the heck do you think you two could have any solid foundation for a relationship now?

You still want to be with her? Too damn bad, you lost that chance when you "betrayed" her.
I say go for it. I’m always the one who goes for it. I cheated on my BF 2 years ago, and shit was rocky for a bit, but got better. He cheated on me last October, and, I’m still dealing with thoughts, but, they are getting better, and I can’t imagine not sharing the things we’ve shared since October if I followed one of these others guys advice and said the hell with him.

Trust takes time, time takes patience, patience takes worth. If shes worth it to you, and you’re worth it to her, you can be patient with each other, but that will take time, but will lead to trust.
Well we talked and hung out again. I feel much better. Well, we decided that we are just going to be friends, and I can accept that. But honestly, we will probably slowly stop hanging out with eachother. I think all we needed is to talk again. Time to move on

Cliff notes on what happened?

Yay! Yeah, you two can’t be "friends" until you are over one another, and honestly you need to stop talking to each other for a while to succeed in moving on healthily.

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