Some girls need to go back to whore island…

It really ticks me off that a really great guy ends up with some bitch who walks all over them, and them being a good guy just take it. Then when the whore cheats on him they say "fuck this shit being a good guy gets me no where i’m just going to be an ass hole to all other women who don’t deserve it." It’s those bitches that turn good guys into jerks. NEWS FLASH: Not all women want assholes for boyfriends! Some girls are actually sweet and want a sweet guy to be sweet to. The End. There are good girls out there that are waiting for a great guy to come along. I know they exist, there just stuck with some hussy who doesn’t give crap about them.

you’re absolutely right, it’s a fact about the world and it sucks

i’m a nice girl and i found myself a nice guy. i guess we’re just lucky.
Girls being with assholes is girls being stupid a naive. Girls want the stereotypical "man". The man who knows exactly what he wants, knows how to fix shit blah blah blah..

The asshole personifies that but isn’t that at all, it’s just an act.

Then again, I really dont know lol

Girls being with assholes is girls being stupid a naive. Girls want the stereotypical "man". The man who knows exactly what he wants, knows how to fix shit blah blah blah..

The asshole personifies that but isn’t that at all, it’s just an act.

Then again, I really dont know lol

You’re on the right track.

The truth is, these guys kind of have it coming to them. I did. All people see is a really nice guy getting screwed by what looks like a whore.

what they DON’T see is that that "nice guy" isn’t always such a nice guy. Especially in his own home, where he takes all that agression from being nice all day to strangers out on the people he cares about.

Yes, I am. And I am looking for a good guy who hasn’t been tainted.

Girls being with assholes is girls being stupid a naive. Girls want the stereotypical "man". The man who knows exactly what he wants, knows how to fix shit blah blah blah..

The asshole personifies that but isn’t that at all, it’s just an act.

Then again, I really dont know lol

my bf knows exactly what he wants, knows how to fix shit, and is very manly. but he would never be mean to me or try to boss me around. if he were an asshole it would turn me off

You’re on the right track.

The truth is, these guys kind of have it coming to them. I did. All people see is a really nice guy getting screwed by what looks like a whore.

what they DON’T see is that that "nice guy" isn’t always such a nice guy. Especially in his own home, where he takes all that agression from being nice all day to strangers out on the people he cares about.

I try not to classify nice guys and bad guys and all that… there are just "guys" to me as there are "girls" to me. Every single one of them can’t be classified into any group. The nice guy is never necessarily nice.. bad guy isn’t always bad.
While I don’t condone or defend any superficial bitch who takes advantage of a "nice" guy and cheats on him…I certainly don’t refer to them all as whores and bame them. We hear all the time in here and the Vag guys who refer to themselves as a "nice" guy, but we all know what that really means is he is a pussy pushover, andthat’s just not attractive.

There’s a difference between being a good guy and a wimpy pushover. What annoys me more is that those "nice guys" almost always choose women who outsiders would realize right away are superficial bitches. Usually they are attractive so the guys are stupid enough to put up with all their bullshit just because they are so filled with joy that a hot girl looks their way
PS-I’m a nice girl who found an awesomely smart, attractive nice guy.
A guy needs to stand up for himself and not take the unwarrented talk a girl throws at him. Its hard to remain nice in this not so nice world, but im not giving in , i rather be nice, then turn into something i do not want to be.
Quite frankly, I would have eaten my boyfriend alive if he hadn’t grown some balls after his last girlfriend treated him like crap. Usually, the "nice guys" that are "ruined" or "tainted" after a girl chews them up and spits them out had the passive-aggressiveness/bitterness inside them all along. It just took something rough to bring it out in them.

By saying you don’t want someone who is "tainted" is completely naive and unrealistic. That’s saying you don’t want anyone who’s ever had their heartbroken, so on and so forth. You want someone who has been in that situation and come out a better person.

I’m glad my boyfriend grew a pair. Having a guy be able to tell me "no" and not let me walk all over him is amazing. I used to be one of those girls that walked all over her man simply because when we got together, I thought they would be stronger than they ended up being. I’ve never cheated on them…but I’ve broken their hearts either way.

I agree with Crowbar. Nice doesn’t always mean nice and bad isn’t always so bad.

Once you find a good guy, you’ll get bored of him. Could be for a number of reasons, but then you’ll lose interest and either dump him or cheat, and he’ll switch over too. I was recruited a few months ago.

As a recovering nice guy, hearing many girls say stuff like this was a really eye-opener to me.

Hearing that girls actually WANT a man to put them in their place and WANT to argue sometimes to keep the relationship healthy was so out of sync with what I had in my head that I almost didn’t believe it.

Quite frankly, I would have eaten my boyfriend alive if he hadn’t grown some balls after his last girlfriend treated him like crap. Usually, the "nice guys" that are "ruined" or "tainted" after a girl chews them up and spits them out had the passive-aggressiveness/bitterness inside them all along. It just took something rough to bring it out in them.

By saying you don’t want someone who is "tainted" is completely naive and unrealistic. That’s saying you don’t want anyone who’s ever had their heartbroken, so on and so forth. You want someone who has been in that situation and come out a better person.

I’m glad my boyfriend grew a pair. Having a guy be able to tell me "no" and not let me walk all over him is amazing. I used to be one of those girls that walked all over her man simply because when we got together, I thought they would be stronger than they ended up being. I’ve never cheated on them…but I’ve broken their hearts either way.

I agree with Crowbar. Nice doesn’t always mean nice and bad isn’t always so bad.

All im saying is girls that treat their guys like crap should get out of the way so that the nice girls that appreciate them could have their time with them.

Now that’s what i’m talking about. Not all girls will do that.

I’m waiting for said girl to come along.

I haven’t found her yet though.

As a recovering nice guy, hearing many girls say stuff like this was a really eye-opener to me.

Hearing that girls actually WANT a man to put them in their place and WANT to argue sometimes to keep the relationship healthy was so out of sync with what I had in my head that I almost didn’t believe it.

Exactly! I found someone who let’s me have my way on a bunch of little things but puts his foot down on all the major stuff that matters to him. If I’m being a bitch, he’ll tell me. If he thinks I’m not treating him right, he tells me. I’d rather have him stand up for himself and us work through it than have me get frustrated and treat him worse just to get a reaction out of him. It shows that he cares about our relationship, and in turn, makes me put more effort into treating him well so that we’re both happy. He’s made me the happiest out of all my boyfriends in the past.

We don’t argue all that much, to be honest. We’re good at bringing stuff up long before it becomes that big of an issue. We have more serious discussions than anything…I think we’ve only had one real argument in the two years we’ve been together.

Have you ever had a nice guy? For an extended period of time? I’m not saying you’re a liar, just from experience, I’ve been that "nice guy" that was there for girls when they were crying over some asshole that treated them like shit. Ended up hooking up with them, hanging out, etc, and it always turns into something. They get bored because I don’t randomly start fights or pick something to argue about out of the blue, or if theres a problem I’d rather calmly discuss/fix it instead of freak out on eachother and act like highschoolers. Girls want something that seems like they can’t have rather than someone who would actually be there for them and care for them. I think this changes as they mature… (late 20’s, 30s?) – but late teens and early 20’s, I don’t think any girl knows what they really want, and are just after the cheap thrills and sex.

Honestly, cliche or not, you hear "nice guys finish last" and "girls like being treated like shit" and "girls want an asshole" – you hear them for a reason…

It’s not the girls you should be talking to about this. It’s the guys that should be growing a pair of balls that need that speech.

I’m waiting for said girl to come along.

I haven’t found her yet though.

Trust me, she is somewhere.

This is one of those things I don’t understand WHY women do it, but I realize THAT they do it.

It’s annoying to think that a girl is just pushing my buttons to get a fucking reaction out of me (you know, some of us DON’T want to argue all the damned time and LIKE to get along most of the time).

I just chalk it up as a necessary evil that if I’m not giving her enough asshole attitude that it’s going to happen.

Yeah, but what if she’s fat or ugly? Would I give her a chance?

I know that sounds like a dick thing to say, but I’m being serious.

Have you ever had a nice guy? For an extended period of time? I’m not saying you’re a liar, just from experience, I’ve been that "nice guy" that was there for girls when they were crying over some asshole that treated them like shit. Ended up hooking up with them, hanging out, etc, and it always turns into something. They get bored because I don’t randomly start fights or pick something to argue about out of the blue, or if theres a problem I’d rather calmly discuss/fix it instead of freak out on eachother and act like highschoolers. Girls want something that seems like they can’t have rather than someone who would actually be there for them and care for them. I think this changes as they mature… (late 20’s, 30s?) – but late teens and early 20’s, I don’t think any girl knows what they really want, and are just after the cheap thrills and sex.

Honestly, cliche or not, you hear "nice guys finish last" and "girls like being treated like shit" and "girls want an asshole" – you hear them for a reason…

I have yet to find someone who will treat me with some respect.

Yeah, but what if she’s fat or ugly? Would I give her a chance?

I know that sounds like a dick thing to say, but I’m being serious.

She very well could be – if she was a knockout she’d have guys all over her and she’d be playing the same stupid game every other slut plays

This is one of those things I don’t understand WHY women do it, but I realize THAT they do it.

It’s annoying to think that a girl is just pushing my buttons to get a fucking reaction out of me (you know, some of us DON’T want to argue all the damned time and LIKE to get along most of the time).

I just chalk it up as a necessary evil that if I’m not giving her enough asshole attitude that it’s going to happen.

It doesn’t happen with my current boyfriend…maybe because we actually have a healthy relationship vs my past ones. I dunno.

Fine, Guys with shitty girlfriends: Grow a pair and leave that bitch and find a nicer girl.

I consider myself very good looking and I have never cheated.

I’ve yet to find a girl who WANTS to be treated with respect. It really disgust me to be honest… I won’t say I’ve given up, but I really don’t expect anything from a female anymore, not near my age range.

Not necessarily cheating, but, playing the whole game with guys who treat them like shit, etc, chasing after something she thinks she can’t get rather than the guy who cares for them and is there for them and seems too accessible.

Heh, I’ve respected every girl I’ve ever been with.

But I was also a huge gaping pussy too. Only in my last relationship did I grow some balls, but even in it I was a pussy about some things.

Yeah, but what if she’s fat or ugly? Would I give her a chance?

I know that sounds like a dick thing to say, but I’m being serious.

I’m sorry, that cracked me up.

Welcome to the dating game! "Fat" and "ugly" are different for everyone…and besides, hopefully her personality is so blindingly awesome it won’t matter and you’ll grow to find her attractive. It’s a legitimate worry…but it’s also the entire reason you should talk to someone a couple times before completely writing them off.

You know, cascade….with every post you make, you sound more and more like the female version of these "tainted," bitter guys.

The only reason I posted that was in response to you telling me to give a speech to guys about growing a pair, and not a speech to women. I wouldn’t say that to a guy.

It wasn’t just that post. I’m talking about this entire thread. From what it sounds like, your "dream guy" is either dating a "bitch" or is currently having his heart broken because she’s cheating on him….and you sound incredibly bitter about it all. Even if this isn’t the situation, it really sounds like you’re placing all the blame on the female side of this situation and not enough on the male. Yes, it sucks…but he needs to grow up.

In any case, this was in direct response to your not wanting someone who is "tainted" when this thread shows that you’re in no position to talk about who is or isn’t affected deeply by stuff like this.

It wasn’t just that post. I’m talking about this entire thread. From what it sounds like, your "dream guy" is either dating a "bitch" or is currently having his heart broken because she’s cheating on him….and you sound incredibly bitter about it all. Even if this isn’t the situation, it really sounds like you’re placing all the blame on the female side of this situation and not enough on the male. Yes, it sucks…but he needs to grow up.

In any case, this was in direct response to your not wanting someone who is "tainted" when this thread shows that you’re in no position to talk about who is or isn’t affected deeply by stuff like this.

I didn’t mean tainted as in never had their heart broken, i meant the ones that turn into assholes because they feel thats how they should be.

Fair enough, I stand corrected

Most to all girls seem to want an asshole, and you don’t get hurt that way

It’s stupid because its like a game for me – I have to remind myself to not be nice and ignore them and be an asshole sometimes. Its just not the type of person I am, so I have to fake it, but its better than getting taken advantage of and getting hurt everytime.

Most to all girls seem to want an asshole, and you don’t get hurt that way

It’s stupid because its like a game for me – I have to remind myself to not be nice and ignore them and be an asshole sometimes. Its just not the type of person I am, so I have to fake it, but its better than getting taken advantage of and getting hurt everytime.

I guess it depends on what type of girl you are dating, I know if a guy I was dating wasn’t being nice, ignoring me, and being an asshole sometimes, I would not put up with it. I would go find someone who treats me better because I know what I am worth.

Good for you, seriously.

Looking back I’d have to say they were sluts anyways. And crazy ones at that. Pretty much random hookups (not exactly random, but were only friends for a little bit before having sex) and begging me to blow it in them Yeah I’m an idiot for raw doggin it but I ain’t the one begging some stranger that I don’t care about for their babies. It was a turn on in the heat of the moment but looking back at the circumstances, the respect meter took a nosedive.

.

She sounds like a very nice girl.

.

She sounds like a very nice girl.

She does sound like a very nice girl…she also sounds like the bitter nice guys I’ve talked to.

You’re on the right track.

The truth is, these guys kind of have it coming to them. I did. All people see is a really nice guy getting screwed by what looks like a whore.

what they DON’T see is that that "nice guy" isn’t always such a nice guy. Especially in his own home, where he takes all that agression from being nice all day to strangers out on the people he cares about.

i was terribly guilty of this all throughout high school

Good for you, seriously.

Looking back I’d have to say they were sluts anyways. And crazy ones at that. Pretty much random hookups (not exactly random, but were only friends for a little bit before having sex) and begging me to blow it in them Yeah I’m an idiot for raw doggin it but I ain’t the one begging some stranger that I don’t care about for their babies. It was a turn on in the heat of the moment but looking back at the circumstances, the respect meter took a nosedive.

I thought you said two girls?
A man who exhibits any combination of the following behaviors will do well in meeting good women. A man with the opposite qualities will suffer the opposite result, isolated and alone.

a.) Has a HIGH amount of self-esteem; views himself as high-status

b.) Doesn’t need any outside approval or attention from ANYONE to be happy

c.) Unself-concious; doesn’t care what others (strangers)thinks of him.

d.) Is NEVER insecure or nervous (especially around desirable women), and he sub-communicates this in every little way.

e.) Self-confident; NEVER arrogant or insecure, POSSIBLY slightly-cocky. May tease women in a friendly way.

f.) Does not let outside events/other peoples opinions (See c.) emotionally destabilize him; is always in control of his emotions.

g.) Takes full responsibility for all of his actions.

h.) Never whines or complains to get approval or empathy; always accepts the world for exactly what it is.

i.) Judges people based on character and personality.. NOT outward appearance/material items.

j.) Can be brutally honest (while still being respectful) with everyone(including himself) and is not afraid to put someone in their place when they are out of line; isn’t afraid to speak his mind.

k.) Isn’t afraid to draw boundaries.

l.) Mature.. in every sense of the word.

m.) Has a PURPOSE in life that he never betrays and pro-actively/ambitiously works towards.

n.) Goal-oriented thinker; favors long-term gratification over short (See l.).

o.) Isn’t afraid to lead and take control of a situation; doesn’t have hesitancy moving forward.

p.) Never feels ashamed for his sexual desires & needs; always sexually confident.

q.) Is always "himself", and is content with whatever that is (See a.).

r.) Doesn’t tolerate disrespect to himself, his property, or his time.

s.) Doesn’t let women use their sexual power to get anything (whether it be money, or self-respect) from him.

t.) Loyal

u.) Compassionate

v.) Independent

w.) Is perfectly happy and fulfilled being single; sure, he’d like to find an attractive/beautiful/intelligent woman to spend time with but he doesn’t NEED it.

x.) Comfortable in the presence of other high-status and/or sophisticated people.

y.) Doesn’t experience jealousy; is perfectly fine when a woman exercises her independence and encourages it; enjoys it when others shine

z.) Strong/confident/powerful body language (Stands up straight, doesn’t break eye contact, doesn’t have any nervous ticks, doesn’t have quick/jerky movements, leans back out of self-confidence and lack of nervousness)

a1.) Doesn’t feel the need to compensate for himself through gifts, expensive restaurants (Doing either of these things from a place of confidence and high-value is on the other hand OKAY)

a2.) DOESN’T invest all his emotion/time into a relationship too early on. He remains an ambiguous challenge

I did. – I never mentioned a higher number?
BTW OP, sounding extremely bitter and naggy isn’t attractive. You most likely take every relationship too seriously.

I sounded like you do a few years ago and then I stopped taking shit so seriously and learned to date around and just have FUN. Once I did that I was able to dump guys left and right after figuring out what kind of guy they were, what baggage they had, etc. You can bitch til you’re blue in the face but guys will never wake up, the same way most women will always want a challenging guy.

The only thing you can do is change your outlook. I had to date a lot of guys until I found mine.

BTW OP, sounding extremely bitter and naggy isn’t attractive. You most likely take every relationship too seriously.

I sounded like you do a few years ago and then I stopped taking shit so seriously and learned to date around and just have FUN. Once I did that I was able to dump guys left and right after figuring out what kind of guy they were, what baggage they had, etc. You can bitch til you’re blue in the face but guys will never wake up, the same way most women will always want a challenging guy.

The only thing you can do is change your outlook. I had to date a lot of guys until I found mine.

It took a long time to find my guy…and I only found him once I gave up, per say, and decided to just have fun.

It took a long time to find my guy…and I only found him once I gave up, per say, and decided to just have fun.

BTW OP, sounding extremely bitter and naggy isn’t attractive. You most likely take every relationship too seriously.

I sounded like you do a few years ago and then I stopped taking shit so seriously and learned to date around and just have FUN. Once I did that I was able to dump guys left and right after figuring out what kind of guy they were, what baggage they had, etc. You can bitch til you’re blue in the face but guys will never wake up, the same way most women will always want a challenging guy.

The only thing you can do is change your outlook. I had to date a lot of guys until I found mine.

Do your boyfriends challenge you?

Daily. Which is what I love. I’ve always always gone after the "nice guy," but I would get bored because they were total pushovers. SO now is an extremely nice guy, but he’s intelligent and ballsy and will speak his mind and fight me; which is hot.

i think this prolly varies from person to person… i’ll bet i am too much for some and too little resistance for others.

that’s cool though, your thing sounds fun

All the time And it’s totally sexy. Having someone actually debate and argue with me instead of just being mean is hot.
lol girls are crazy but I would say confidence is key. I am a single guy (told I am fairly good looking) and I am just doing my own thing. Sure sometimes I get lonely but I don’t NEED a girl by any means. I learned that I am going to live my life with certain goals in mind and I won’t compromise those for anyone because I respect myself enough to not sell myself short. I will compromise on small things though. And when I notice the girl is treating me badly i set her straight. Most girls I meet are shallow though.
Nice guys or bad guys, either way you’re going to go through some shit. That’s just the nature of relationships. Nice guys will all turn into bad guys at some point and nice girls also turn into bad girls. It’s the grass is always greener mentality.

I’m a nice guy and admittedly have always gone for the "bad girls". Bad girls normally like bad boys. I guess it’s the fact that it’s a challenge that makes them attractive to me, plus the hopes of them maturing into a normal respectable girl. Nice girls on the other hand eventually turn into sluts and cheat on you.

Have you ever had a nice guy? For an extended period of time? I’m not saying you’re a liar, just from experience, I’ve been that "nice guy" that was there for girls when they were crying over some asshole that treated them like shit. Ended up hooking up with them, hanging out, etc, and it always turns into something. They get bored because I don’t randomly start fights or pick something to argue about out of the blue, or if theres a problem I’d rather calmly discuss/fix it instead of freak out on eachother and act like highschoolers. Girls want something that seems like they can’t have rather than someone who would actually be there for them and care for them. I think this changes as they mature… (late 20’s, 30s?) – but late teens and early 20’s, I don’t think any girl knows what they really want, and are just after the cheap thrills and sex.

Honestly, cliche or not, you hear "nice guys finish last" and "girls like being treated like shit" and "girls want an asshole" – you hear them for a reason…

You are the last person that should be talking about this. We saw the truth about you in your thread. You are so insecure that you will scare away any decent girl. You pick slutty chicks that treat you badly so that you can reaffirm your beliefs that you aren’t good enough. Until you fix your problems you will never be able to have a good relationship.

That goes for everyone complaining about being a so-called ”nice” girl or guy. Guess what, if you keep getting screwed over in relationships all the time then THE PROBLEM IS YOU, NOT THEM. YOU are the one who keeps choosing to date these bad people, no one else is forcing you to do it. Be selective with who you date, don’t just go for the first person you are attracted to. I think we all know deep down when we are dating someone who is bad for us, we just have to be strong and end things instead of letting the attraction feelings take over. If you choose to be with someone who you know is bad for you then you have no one to blame but yourself.

You are the last person that should be talking about this. We saw the truth about you in your thread. You are so insecure that you will scare away any decent girl. You pick slutty chicks that treat you badly so that you can reaffirm your beliefs that you aren’t good enough. Until you fix your problems you will never be able to have a good relationship.

That goes for everyone complaining about being a so-called ”nice” girl or guy. Guess what, if you keep getting screwed over in relationships all the time then THE PROBLEM IS YOU, NOT THEM. YOU are the one who keeps choosing to date these bad people, no one else is forcing you to do it. Be selective with who you date, don’t just go for the first person you are attracted to. I think we all know deep down when we are dating someone who is bad for us, we just have to be strong and end things instead of letting the attraction feelings take over. If you choose to be with someone who you know is bad for you then you have no one to blame but yourself.

I want to argue with this post and almost did.

Then, I realized that I probably want to argue with it because it hit too close to home.

Not in the prior thread, but in this one you implied there were more since those last two were serious.

I want to argue with this post and almost did.

Then, I realized that I probably want to argue with it because it hit too close to home.

Exactly, I’m sure it does for everyone, me included. I sometimes get into the mindset that ‘guys are assholes or only care about sex’ too but then I have to remember that it’s not true for everyone and that I always have a choice not to date those guys. Sure it can be hard to resist when you are really attracted to someone but you have to either make that choice or face the consequences and get hurt in the end.

And I’d add that in addition to not being mean, they’re also not total pushovers all the time. Its hot.
I think some of you are confusing pussy with nice guy

Probably true, but I think a lot of guys confuse them too. Its entirely possible to be nice without being a pussy, but its a fine line….

Which side would you prefer stepped on the most? Would you rather he was a nice guy that could really be a fucking prick? Or a nice guy who could really be a pussy?

Let me throw this in there too

The prick actually is a pussy when it gets down too it (like someone called you a dumb cunt and slapped you and he couldn’t really do anything about it) and the Nice guy is actually a fucking tough motherfucker who will ruin anyone who touched you.

though, mentally.. the pussy will be a pussy.. and the prick.. will be a prick.
Psychologically Mature Male (Is a nice guy) > Psychologically Immature Male (Thinks he’s a nice guy)

Mathematically speaking:

Nice Guy x (Omega male + Insecure)
—————————————— != Mature male (Nice Guy)
Bitterness/passive aggressive

Mature male x (Alpha Male + Secure)
——————————————- = Mature Male (Nice Guy)
Confident + Compassionate/Charismatic
Do the math, immature men who are psychologically insecure, lack experience setting boundaries with women, are unable to consciously project and integrate confidence and competence in their social experience with women are consumed by the delusion that they are "nice guys". They fall prey to the lie they tell themselves and are surprised with the result which demonstrates their true character. It’s much like a man who believes he can fly and so he jumps off a building only to die tragically.

Which side would you prefer stepped on the most? Would you rather he was a nice guy that could really be a fucking prick? Or a nice guy who could really be a pussy?

Let me throw this in there too

The prick actually is a pussy when it gets down too it (like someone called you a dumb cunt and slapped you and he couldn’t really do anything about it) and the Nice guy is actually a fucking tough motherfucker who will ruin anyone who touched you.

though, mentally.. the pussy will be a pussy.. and the prick.. will be a prick.

To answer your first question, I think I’d rather him be a "nice guy that could really be a fucking prick"

The second part of your post kinda confuses me though – are asking what I would do if I had a choice between:
a) Nice guy who can be a prick sometimes
b) Nice guy that can be a pussy sometimes
c) Nice guy thats actually a tough mother fucker
d) Prick who is actually a pussy sometimes

‘Cause Im not sure I get what youre trying to say
There’s a perfect example out right now of this issue. It’s a comedy called "The Baxter." All about how a guy scores a relatonship with a beautiful woman. He’s the quintessential "nice guy" and they’re obviously not right for one another. Women have always left him for their better-suited ex boyfriends

The whole while there’s a not as beautiful girl right in front of him that he’s perfect for. I won’t spoil the ending

There’s a perfect example out right now of this issue. It’s a comedy called "The Baxter." All about how a guy scores a relatonship with a beautiful woman. He’s the quintessential "nice guy" and they’re obviously not right for one another. Women have always left him for their better-suited ex boyfriends

The whole while there’s a not as beautiful girl right in front of him that he’s perfect for. I won’t spoil the ending

He dies alone?

That made me chuckle.

They were serious but the sex came first, before it was serious. So at the time when we first hooked up I’d still consider it random/casual sex – way too casual for them to be saying/asking the things they did

You are the last person that should be talking about this. We saw the truth about you in your thread. You are so insecure that you will scare away any decent girl. You pick slutty chicks that treat you badly so that you can reaffirm your beliefs that you aren’t good enough. Until you fix your problems you will never be able to have a good relationship.

That goes for everyone complaining about being a so-called ”nice” girl or guy. Guess what, if you keep getting screwed over in relationships all the time then THE PROBLEM IS YOU, NOT THEM. YOU are the one who keeps choosing to date these bad people, no one else is forcing you to do it. Be selective with who you date, don’t just go for the first person you are attracted to. I think we all know deep down when we are dating someone who is bad for us, we just have to be strong and end things instead of letting the attraction feelings take over. If you choose to be with someone who you know is bad for you then you have no one to blame but yourself.

It’s not like I go out looking for the sluttiest, worst girl I can find. They seem normal at first and I dont intentionally look for slutty chicks, it just so happens most of them are

Of course you don’t do it intentionally.

That’s the problem.

I’m willing to bet, however, that you are finding this girls in the same types of places and that you’ve never dated a girl from a "different" place.

Of course you don’t do it intentionally.

That’s the problem.

I’m willing to bet, however, that you are finding this girls in the same types of places and that you’ve never dated a girl from a "different" place.

There was at thread about wanting to move about a week ago by Black Jesus and he mentions that he feels like he’s meeting the same girls/women over and over again throughout the years….I think this applies as well.

Going outside of your comfort zone, even if you’re just edging out, will get you amazing results.

you are speaking of challenge on an intellectual level, right? (in this instance)

and beer, you were speaking on a more psychological level? (in your last post)

you are speaking of challenge on an intellectual level, right? (in this instance)

and beer, you were speaking on a more psychological level? (in your last post)

Both, actually…although I was dumbing myself down for previous boyfriends. This in turn made me grow to resent them and since I have a more aggressive personality to begin with, I got mean and walked all over them. None of those relationships ended nicely [understatement of the year].

The overall feeling of having someone challenge me on every level – mentally, emotionally, intellectually, physically, etc – is doing amazing things for me. I’ve become less bitter and depressed and I find myself challenging myself to do better in general.

Of course you don’t do it intentionally.

That’s the problem.

I’m willing to bet, however, that you are finding this girls in the same types of places and that you’ve never dated a girl from a "different" place.

Yes and No…..

initially, the girls seemed to be on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. One was definetely a party girl, no education, working a min. wage job at the age of 23, poor relationship with her family, so on and so fourth. The other was the exact opposite. Very domesticated, about to graduate with a degree in teaching, (also 23) actually went to college with my older sister and carpooled with her a lot come to find out.

But looking back, I did meet both of them downtown in a bar. And although we eventually had a relationship to some extent, it was still a pretty random hookup at first, which I think I mentally blocked out at the time. Its hard for me to think of them (well at least the second one) as total sluts because I did have a relationship with them and did care for them. But looking back, I think you’re right.

Yes and No…..

initially, the girls seemed to be on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. One was definetely a party girl, no education, working a min. wage job at the age of 23, poor relationship with her family, so on and so fourth. The other was the exact opposite. Very domesticated, about to graduate with a degree in teaching, (also 23) actually went to college with my older sister and carpooled with her a lot come to find out.

But looking back, I did meet both of them downtown in a bar. And although we eventually had a relationship to some extent, it was still a pretty random hookup at first, which I think I mentally blocked out at the time. Its hard for me to think of them (well at least the second one) as total sluts because I did have a relationship with them and did care for them. But looking back, I think you’re right.

Dude, you met them both in a BAR.

Why don’t you try meeting girls somewhere else? Try getting into some volunteer work and see if there are any girls within that pool you’d like to date.

I’m starting to see where your troubles are a little more clearly now.

Dude, you met them both in a BAR.

Why don’t you try meeting girls somewhere else? Try getting into some volunteer work and see if there are any girls within that pool you’d like to date.

I’m starting to see where your troubles are a little more clearly now.

Agreed, buttt, I can’t think of many females this age that DONT go out drinking/to bars at least on occasion. Obviously the bar isnt the best place to meet females but in the same respect are you implying that all girls that go to bars are sluts? They very well may be true, but if so then that is discouraging due to my first sentence.

I’m suggesting that the reason most girls go to bars is to find a man for the night, not to find relationships.

That doesn’t mean they are sluts, it just means you are looking for the WRONG girls. They are not in the right frame of mind.
meh, it’s not all the girl’s fault. part, if not most, of the blame falls on the guy. a good man who respects himself and others would not allow himself to be treated that way and would soon part ways with her.

also, i don’t see it as the guy being tainted or ruined either. who we are now is a result of our experiences, knowledge, effort, etc. i was the typical "nice guy" (read: people pleasing pushover). i enjoyed being nice to others, but hated the fact that others were rude, would take advantage of me and not care enough about others to be kind in return. i, in turn, became an asshole. i enjoyed being selfish and getting my own way. however, i was quickly becoming someone i didn’t want to be. i was always paranoid about people having hidden agendas, out to get me, and i unknowingly hurt people.

i took a good long look at myself and realized that i was happier being nice to people, but knew i couldn’t revert to my old ways either. i wanted to change and be a better person. so, i did what i had to do to change and become the man i wanted to be (still a work in progress).

sure, i became an asshole, but i don’t feel i’m tainted in any way. those people didn’t make me an asshole, i made myself an asshole. i feel i am a better person as a result of that experience because i have a better understanding of that thought process. i’m thankful to those people who took advantage of me because those experiences have led me to where i am today. i like who i am now and that’s not something i felt comfortable saying before in either my "nice guy" and "asshole" phases.

Most to all girls seem to want an asshole, and you don’t get hurt that way

It’s stupid because its like a game for me – I have to remind myself to not be nice and ignore them and be an asshole sometimes. Its just not the type of person I am, so I have to fake it, but its better than getting taken advantage of and getting hurt everytime.

why would you do that? don’t change who you are because of a girl. that’s one of the big things they don’t like. be who you want to be and if she doesn’t like it, move on. you’re doing yourself a disservice by placating to their needs. that’s what "nice guys" do. they do things they think will make the girl like them more. however, instead of doing sweet things, you become an asshole because you think that’s what they want.

be a nice guy if you want to be and if she doesn’t like it or loses interest, move on. why would you want to be with someone who is attracted to being disrespected and mistreated?

if you want to change, do it for yourself, not as a way to attract a girl. different girls are attracted to different things and you’ll always be changing to meet their needs. change for yourself and find someone who fits your needs.

you are speaking of challenge on an intellectual level, right? (in this instance)

and beer, you were speaking on a more psychological level? (in your last post)

He challenges me in everything. Intellectually, psychologically, physically. I love it. I’m opinionated and competitive as all hell, and not only does he know exactly how to deal with that, he always knows what to do say to get me going
I didnt have to be fake or be an asshole. She had a crush on me before though. From what Ive seen, the girls that go for those kind of guys end up as one night stands and have no sense of value for anything more then sexual urges. Maybe just me, but I dunno

Exactly! That’s exactly how it is!

This is true across genders.

Weak people ftl.
Women don’t want a guy who is "nice" and docile.

They just want him to make her feel SAFE.

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiig difference.
I don’t think men want a girl who is "nice" and docile either. I certainly don’t
i’ve heard this time and time again (to the original post), but as of yet i have never found one of these girls that actually just wants a sweet nice guy.

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