well damn i need to make some friends, don’t i.

You know I’ve never really gone out to score friends. I’ve gone out to score make-outs and sometimes to score teh sex0r, but, not friends.

I definitely need to do this because … okay so I’ve been busting my ass to pass my last final at college, and I did that, and have my B.A. in computer science up and coming (yay!!).

After those five weeks with my head up my ass, studying and depriving myself of any freedoms aside from spending recuperative & celebratory sex/romance time with my amazing and beautiful lover, I come up for air and have FREE TIME all of a sudden.

Which allows me to realize that I have NO friends in NY.

NONE.

My friends from college are away. I do actually have one friend in NYC, but she is constantly traveling – she’s here about 1 day of the week.

Now, I’ve never really gone friend hunting. I’ve just sort of been friends with people and I think I got used to this because that’s how it has always worked for me, probably, in large part, because that’s how it works when you’re still in school.

I realized how lonely I was (I don’t want to put a companionship "role" on my lover… I want to bring value to people, in general), and I was kinda having that o shit, o shit, I don’t have the Awesome Power of Friendship that such-and-such person has, how will I get through this.

Then I realized that I’m still living at my dad’s house, I haven’t even moved out to my new apartment yet, haven’t settled into my new neighborhood, and I’m allowed to have difficulty making friends out here in my senile alcoholic father’s flat, since it will be 10x easier when I move to my new neighborhood, which will be populated with largely young people like myself.

In the meantime I feel so loooonely. Which is something that I need to address, and maybe spending every weekend traveling or being traveled to (traveling, in the case of these next few weeks) so Emily (my lover) and I can see each other is not the best way to address that. But at the same time, I don’t feel like I should contrived-ly not-see Emily on the weekends just to prove to myself that I’m doing something. I’ll just wait it out these next three weeks until I have my place and my people around me.

Thanks for listening to this rant-ramble.

I realized how lonely I was (I don’t want to put a companionship "role" on my lover… I want to bring value to people, in general), and I was kinda having that o shit, o shit, I don’t have the Awesome Power of Friendship that such-and-such person has, how will I get through this.

What I meant here is that I know a small handful of people – three people in my life – one of them my lover – who have the ability to go out solo to social scenes, even social scenes as uphill as high-end nightclubs, going alone, like I said, but still have a great time, and own the place, and leave with eager new friends and acquaintances in tow.

I’m not at that level yet… to the point that it still looks pretty much like magic to me from down here.
Better off than me man, at least it seems as if you have confidence going for you. I’m sure you will find some friends in no time. Maybe work on finding a job first though..
I love going solo. and making close friends is very very difficult for many people.

Thats why people get married, "I’ll fuck you til you love me"
Work will provide more opportunities as will the new neighborhood. Find a hobby like motorcycles, classic cars, rock climbing, hiking or something and join a club.
Good luck making friends. It’s always a little scary when you have to completely start from scratch.

Just don’t turn into that typical Vag/Asylum guy who bases his world around his SO….
I feel ya. I have 4-tickets for the mav’s game on the wood, in fold-up chairs but I can’t seem to find 3 people to go with me so I’m just giving them away.

Why!? Go and scalp the other 3 outside the game! Maybe you’ll make friends with whoever buys them

yeah, that way I can sit there in silence. I’d rather sit at home and do that.

That sounds horribly sad and boring. I’ve gone to games and movies by myself and had a great time. Because at least I was out doing something instead of sitting at home feeling sorry for myself watching TV or playing on the internet

I’d go except i’m in the wrong state.

Actually, I am basing my world around my SO

That’s one of the reasons I want to get this handled

Aww, that’s what I kind of gathered from your post. But I know you are intelligent enough to realize that’s not good and that’s why you are now trying to better yourself and rounding up friends.

I’d say the positive thing is in NYC there are so many places to meet people. NYC is so awesome and filled with culture too, I am jealous. But I know you battle with your social anxiety so I can see why it’s nerveracking.

Yep. Thanks

Actually, to a great extent, I am "basing my world around my SO." Or basing my world on what I have with her, right now. To do anything less would be egregiously wrong.

That’s one of the reasons I want to get this handled

Having outside experience (outside of the two of us) allows me to add to "inside" experience, and vice versa.

Aww, that’s what I kind of gathered from your post. But I know you are intelligent enough to realize that’s not good and that’s why you are now trying to better yourself and rounding up friends.

I’d say the positive thing is in NYC there are so many places to meet people. NYC is so awesome and filled with culture too, I am jealous. But I know you battle with your social anxiety so I can see why it’s nerveracking.

Er… not what I was saying. Lol. See my rephrased post below. Basing your world around what you have with your SO can be done in an intelligent, healthy, very good way, or in a retarded, unhealthy, self-destructive way.

I can hook you up with 3 people to go to that game with you, no problem. PM if you want me to, and tell me what game it is. I’m not in Dallas now or else I’d go in a heartbeat. The guys I know don’t have a ton of friends in Dallas since they’ve only lived there about a year, but they’re 25-28yo.

ill post pics from the sharks game i went to solo. i got drunk and talked to everyone around me, it was a fucking blast!!
just be sure to cheer for the home team

Overtime win for the home team, come from behind victory

had a lot of fun. shitty pics but w.e

yes! that game was so fucking awesome!
Take no offense, but ever time you say "lover" I keep getting the picture of Will Ferrel in the SNL skit with Rachel whatshername…where they are old…and make out…and are hairy…stop

It’s an awkward word, I’m used to it though, and prefer "lover" nonetheless.

Well now I’m curious, how is making your SO your world ever intelligent and healthy. I ask because I know you’ll go into details describing.

black jesus, now you have no excuse. This guy is even introducing you to 3 new people you could possibly like in your city!

yeah, too bad I gave them away yesterday to a coworker because I felt guilty for being in such a bad mood the past month.

It’s an awkward word, I’m used to it though, and prefer "lover" nonetheless.

I just say "friend"

i believe in going 100% with love, but you can do that in an intelligent way or an unintelligent way.

for example, if a guy is constantly asking his gf if she will come over and never leaves his room and plays video games and gets many things uniquely from his lover, that’s not intelligent way to orient your life around love.

if a guy is going out and adding to his own experience (with or without the girl) and enriching himself, that’s an intelligent way to orient your life around love.

in the former situation, the guy THINKS he’s focusing on his love, but he’s also missing out on opportunities to bring value to the person he loves, which is not very … loving. or intelligent. it’s a very selfish, miopic "love".

in the latter situation, the guy IS focusing on his love, and therefore, goes out, gains experience, enriches himself, and brings value to the person he loves.

it’s just a different perspective on the same (ultimate) advice. you would probably not call the latter situation "orienting your life around love," whereas I think it is a much REALER way to orient your life around love than to stay home and not add value.

Shit, I had a friend move into Dallas just this morning.

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