I’m 32. People (wife, therapist) are telling me I had a terrible childhood, and apparently I am a very angry person. So much so that even when I’m making an effort to be nice it comes off wrong. Most of my friends are very chill, so is my wife for the most part. I never really looked at the childhood thing and attitudes until very recently.

This anger has never presented itself physically to any friend or member of my family, ever. I am not violent except for playing FPS games once in a great while (no time anymore anyhow due to kids and school). I have only been in a couple physical altercations in my life, but those times I wasn’t a very humane person to the other party.

I am really interested in the Dalai Lama’s writings and am purchasing the top three most interesting and pertinent looking ones friday (payday).

I’m looking at my own past behavior and attitudes and I agree about the anger issues, and I know it causes stress for me and those around me. Stress=health and other problems, and since I envy those that are relaxed and naturally nice (not to be confused with kind – I am kind in deed, just not always in word) i figure it’s time to work on it.

Does anyone have anything else to suggest? I want to stay away from anything too preachy and authors that are highly invested in the bible (Gary Chapman) because I don’t want to really base much (of what I consider recovery) on religion specifically.
I don’t have any materials to offer you but what I can do is tell you that your local social council will more than likely have some form of anger management class going.

I can’t reccomend them because it would mean I hate you. My classes were so hopeless it was… infuriating.
I went, it pissed me off, i did some self-discovering (so it wasn’t all bad), and they gave me a nice yellow certificate with my name on it. It was all very nausiating.

I still wanted to throw that idea out there to you because it does actually work for some people.

You mean like an anger management class? I’m going to look into that as well, now that you mention it. Perhaps the title is a misnomer, I want the anger to go away – I don’t want to have to manage it anymore.
Mostly management class stands as a step toward it dulling. Anger won’t just vanish, anger is natural, but people focus on negatives that build the irritation and frustration causing all kinds of other problems for themselves.
Those classes mostly teach disiplinary techniques to help you on your way to a calmer path, which is a great first step.
Hmm I was the same way. A very passive aggressive type of person.

Check your diet. Try to lower your blood pressure through eating healthier and exercise.

Take some time off for yourself. Listen to music, meditate, tend some plants, etc. I can’t wait to have kids. My gf and I are creating books for them. She writes the stories, I illustrate. Try it out it’s a very involving process.

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