Dealing with breakups?

Anyone got any tips?

Dated a girl for 18 months, first girl I’ve actually loved. She wants to do international development work, and thus is spending a year working in haiti, then two years finishing her degree. We mutually decided to end it.

This shit is so difficult. I’m happy for her that she has found something that is important to her, but I feel so selfish for wanting her to stay.
You can’t be selfish for wanting something. Only your actions can be selfish.

Unfortunately I can’t offer you any advice on how to deal with breakups because I’ve only dealt with just one*, and I am quite sure I dealt with it very poorly. After I "dumped" her (because I had no choice, because she was becoming distant), I stayed indoors. I would say I showered no more than two times a week during that semester. I just stayed inside unless I had to leave, and did work, part of the time. But the rest of the time I spent studying-studying-studying-studying everything I could get my hands on about how to seduce women.

Eventually I stepped out of my shell towards the end of the semester and the following semester was an absolute blast. I even met this girl at the very end of that semester who, totally unexpectedly, I had an amazing connection to in addition to her being gorgeous, and now I’m in love again.

But directly after the break up, I spent a good number of nights crying and absolutely fucked in the head. I even jerked off to a picture of the subject of my longing, once, which I knew was a terrible idea, but which I went ahead and did regardless.

In the short term, I’m afraid I have absolutely nothing to offer. In the long term… push yourself. I guess that’s the one thing I did right, I pushed myself a lot.

*I’ve dealt with two, in fact, but only one that affected me emotionally.
Thanks for the reply. I have some good friends around me, I will drag them along out to the bars. I’m trying to focus on keeping active and doing stuff, but it’s hard.

In a way your situation is worse than mine. I knew I couldn’t have her. I held out hope but I knew I couldn’t because she didn’t love me anymore.

It sounds from your post like you guys broke up on good terms. In that case I guess it could be harder for you to detach from her than it was for me to detach from my ex.

In a way your situation is worse than mine. I knew I couldn’t have her. I held out hope but I knew I couldn’t because she didn’t love me anymore.

It sounds from your post like you guys broke up on good terms. In that case I guess it could be harder for you to detach from her than it was for me to detach from my ex.

Yeah, I really wish it was some angry breakup. My mind is just flooded with what-ifs and shit, I can’t stand it.

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