or is it…?

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5 years going into college and probably 2 more to go, I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m like out of gas – I can’t move forward any longer. I feel like life is passing before my eyes with a wave of younger classmates sitting beside me. Is this a common misconception? Is this depression? What is this feeling?

Has anyone else gone through this? I know this has been brought up randomly before, but I just wanted to bring it up in a thread

I’ve been in the same rut before, and for me it was about looking for a path I wanted to follow. I leapt into university after completing high school, and it was the biggest mistake.

Find out what you want to do, either with your current education or something different. Set goals you want to achieve, and most of all know where you want to be after your done. Dont get stuck finding a job in your current field because you have the degree, 10 20 years down the road your going to kill yourself slaving over a job you never wanted.
Well, did you ever settle on something you wanted to do with your life? You sure as hell can’t expect college to help you define it, most of what you learn in college is completely unreflective of what professional work is actually like.

I actually have. I’ve defined my goals a long time ago, ever since I got into computing. Throughout my recent years of actual work I’ve gone through many different types of techical jobs, though not too involving and not requiring as much skill, as I am only 23 years of age and in school. It did, however, gave me a ton of insight on what to do. Desktop Support seems to be what I am fitted to do. Whatever else I think, I cannot swing away from Desktop Support. At the moment, I personally support a network of people who depend on me for peronal and business computing needs. I don’t offer my support at a cost because I am creating efficient ways to provide advice, (a lot of) troubleshooting and repair, and just staight general info on technological trends. My real job, however, is a part-time DBA Assistant. Ironically, Desktop Support was what I did when I was 12 years old when my uncle slave-labored me into it at his Windows-based computer sales/repair store back in the early 90s.

The thing that bothers me is my lack of actual experience that I can put down, i.e. a degree. I’m shittin’ bricks looking at jobs that I find very capable of doing but lacking that degree. 5 years of college and I haven’t found anything remotely close to what I am going for. Course electives are set so that you take them at the very end of your under-graduate studies which I find rediculous. I’ve got about a semester and a half before I am able to take those so that’s pretty nutty.

I know the feeling very well. My first degree took me 8 years to get and the last 2, I didn’t know anyone at school anymore. My friends would ask me to go out in the evenings and I couldn’t….I still had to study. I wanted to….badly but I just couldn’t.

I remember feeling very down. Like I was trapped in a life I didn’t want to live. Like things would never, ever get any better and that I was completely worthless. I never thought I would amount to anything and I honestly didn’t know what the fuck I wanted to do with my life.

I was so confused that I simply drank…..a lot.

I worked my way out of this but it wasn’t easy and it took awhile. Looking back I realize why I got to this place and it’s mainly due to a couple of factors:
1) not learning that it’s OK to follow my dreams
2) not learning that it’s OK to change my path, even if I’m far down the path.
3) not learning that very often when I want to switch paths, it’s simply due to laziness and really what I need to do is stay the course.
4) trying to live up to other people’s expectations of me
5) losing a brother and a dad in less than 2 years and not knowing how to cope with grief.
6) not wanting things to change. I remember when grunge rock hit the scene and I remember thinking….why? I love 80s music and I really didn’t see a reason to change. Looking back, this feeling was enhanced by #5.
7) being far along in a degree and not wanting to have "wasted" all of that previous education….something I find kind of silly today….no education is ever wasted.

So there was a lot of shit contributing to my feelings.

One thing I would suggest, spend time exploring ideas of a career that you would like. There are plenty of book and most colleges/unis have career placement offices. They can give you test to help you figure out what you like to do and what you have aptitude for. Then the really difficult part comes….you have to have the courage to follow your dreams.

So I pushed though my degree and I honestly didn’t have the skills to compete with other new graduates. I did the minimum to get by and I wondered why noone would hire me. I struggled and worked shitty jobs but my brother finally helped me and got me started on a career that I enjoyed. It was brutally hard tho and I could have easily given up….like you sound like you are ready to do….but I didn’t.

I gained valuable experience in that job and stayed there for 8 years. During which time my salary steadily increased and I so did my lifestyle. I was able to buy my first house and was generally loving life.

I also found that I loved, absolutely loved working around and with computers on a very technical level….not just excel and word, I wanted to program.

So after we sold the company, I went back to uni to pursue a degree that I wanted….computer science. This time around it was much different. I worked my ass off because I was interested. I pushed myself hard to get the best grades I could. I constantly turned down offers to hang out with friends because I wanted to learn and gain even more knowledge.

I ended up graduating with a very high GPA and just landed a kick ass job.

Now it’s taken decades for me to get to this point. Don’t do what I did….learn from my mistakes. Learn to follow your own voice and you’ll be much better off.

Few things in life suck worse than being trapped in a life you hate.

Good luck and God Bless.

This will only get worse as you age. Why? Because a BS used to be sufficient but not anymore. Most of the great jobs go to people with masters degrees. A HS diploma is a joke these days and everyone knows it.

Yeah the "hoops" that colleges/unis make you jump through can seem very ridiculous indeed but it’s part of the game. You want a degree? Then you have to do the dance. It’s OK….we’ve all been there.

Hell I already had a BS in accounting when I returned to study CS. I still had to take 105 hours (124 is a full degree from scratch) because the Uni had changed so many things in the 10 or so years since I graduated.

So we put up with the BS classes so we can get to the really interesting ones. I tried to knock as many of these shitty classes out early so I could get to the "meat" of my degree faster. It’s hard but you just have to push through….this is one reason why BS degrees have value.

It shows that you can set a goal and accomplish it. It shows that you have the ability to stick to difficult and unsexy projects. It shows that you have the ability to learn.

I can assure you….all of these lessons will be repeated though out your life. Work isn’t always fun nor is it easy. Very often is frustratingly difficult and employers look for people that won’t flake out. This is why it’s important to have degrees….because it lends credibility to your name.
I started college in fall 2003, finished spring term 2004, couldn’t continue because I failed prep math twice and the third time would of cost 1000+ (out of state charge) ended up going to technical school to get A+,N+ and MCSE. Finished that worked for 2 years in Various IT Jobs. I wanted to goto a art school because the focus/ more in depth on art courses rather than general ed. But Couldn’t Afford them. fast forward to fall 2007, I finnally found a place that would test me if i had a disability in math and found out that i did. So I was able to sign up to school for spring 08 term and not have to take a math course with it. So I have about 2 1/2 to 3 years left of college left and I plan to finnish and get my degree. Better late than never!
Just tredge through the degree and get on with your life. You will probably never need 90% of the information you learned at any of your jobs but that piece of paper will get you into tons of areas. After you graduate you start at the bottom and depending on your experience you can get into any field you want, the degree doesn’t matter. It only matters to get you in the door for the job.

Also, if you find yourself at age 29 or 35 and unhappy with your career and path in life, just change. You will be fine. In most fields, employers don’t care if you have 10 years or 15 years experience, so you can completely change careers even in your 40′s and still get high up by your 50′s. Most jobs can be learned in a few years but the majority of the skills are transferrable to any job. Also, those that are interested in what they do take little time to get where they want.

Wow, that reads like an afternoon TV special.

chubby, i’m in the exact same position.

i’ll tell you my problem and lemme know if it rings a bell.

all my life I’ve never been hot or cold. I’ve been lukewarm about everything. i went into whatever direction my parents pushed me, or something like that, albeit dragging my feet. i had no intention behind my actions. i packed no punch.

now is the time to be HOT or COLD. pursue the things you love, drop the things you hate like a bad habit. reinvent yourself. do the things that ENERGIZE you.

chub:

You’re just in a rut right now. I’m in the same position as yourself but I completely stopped going to school last fall. I really don’t know what to do either. I started off at a top engineering school fall 2001, attended a community college for 2 years to get my GE out of the way and figure things out, thought I figured it all out and attended a school renowned for its Neuroscience program (double majored neuroscience/psychology) on the other side of the country for 3 years, and now I’m back home.

I just don’t know what to do. Like Hsugh Knight, I’ve always been "lukewarm" about everything.

I know I’m not stupid. I got into two great schools. I nail every interview that comes along (I applied for various jobs just to practice my interviews). But no matter how charismatic I come across, or how qualified I am for any job; ultimately, the absence of that little piece of paper has hiring managers looking the other way. I’ve had actual recruiters tell me that also. The reason why they look for that is that it shows commitment. It looks bad on paper seeing yourself start a program and not follow through.

Although unlike yourself, my age has been overshadowed by a senior citizen in some of my classes (tuition is free for senior citizens in Canada). He he so I guess in a way, seeing that little old lady gave me some hope for my future.

I read a statistic somewhere: the common working class citizen will change their career an average of SIX times before settling with something. The way I see it, people like you and I are doing this earlier (or more often) than others.

Good luck man

Coottie:

Great posts, good to know someone in the same situation pulled through.
Jcrash, can’t you try entry level stuff and work your way up? degrees are usually a substitute for experience.

B.Eng is a personal goal

ive been a sr for the past 3 years. i cant seal the deal…..

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