So at what age do you find girls can finally handle attention?

I’ve noticed something while going through highschool and college so far, and it’s that the majority of women just cannot handle attention. They all rack up as many guy friends as they can, and they all talk to them flirty as hell just to bask in the attention given to them. Obviously most, if not all, of them will never be anything more than a ‘friend’ or whatever you call it, more like an attention giver, but has any more of the older people in here found this actually ends?

It doesn’t have to deal with trust or anything like that, I’m just curious, is this something that continues even after college/marriage age? Or is this a sign of maturity and mostly every girl I know is just extremely immature when it comes to this aspect of their lives. They decide everything based on how much attention they can get, and do everything they can to hang on to as many people that give them that.

I know there’s some women in here, and I’m sure many others have gone through this. Just interested in other’s opinions on it.
It’s a sign of maturity that varies from girl to girl..

EVERYONE likes attention. I like attention for who I am. Interests, achievements etc and start to resent any guy that gives me attention solely on looks. What I look like doesn’t define who I am and that’s something that a lot of college/high school age girls don’t understand.
I’ve never felt the need to dig for attention from guys friends, but I certainly have girlfriends who thrive on it. I find that they are either the type who are constantly feeling insecure and need constant re-assurance that there’s something great about them or I find that they’re just used to having that attention from some source and will get it from wherever they can to supplement its absence..

It’s a sign of maturity that varies from girl to girl..

EVERYONE likes attention. I like attention for who I am. Interests, achievements etc and start to resent any guy that gives me attention solely on looks. What I look like doesn’t define who I am and that’s something that a lot of college/high school age girls don’t understand.

Makes sense. I understand everyone loves attention. I do as well, but I was more talking about the looks factor. They act as if all these men that announce in what ways and how much they want to fuck them, is a compliment!

It’s like they enjoy being objectified, and I just don’t understand it.

I think it’s the insecurities and/or low self image that does it. It’s just really sad that they take other men looking at them as complete sex objects as something to be proud of.

Makes sense. I understand everyone loves attention. I do as well, but I was more talking about the looks factor. They act as if all these men that announce in what ways and how much they want to fuck them, and they take it as a compliment!

It’s like they enjoy being objectified, and I just don’t understand it.

I don’t understand it either which is why I don’t have many female friends. I don’t think that looks should be important.. Looks fade, but brains will actually get you somewhere and gain REAL respect.

Not just that but for a lot of girls it’s how we were raised.

Well looks start the attraction, but it’s everything else that makes it last.

This mostly comes from what I’ve seen at bars. The women go up on stage, act like complete whores to try and gain the most attention there, but then get offended if you treat them in a way they are portraying themselves to be – disrespectful to themselves.

daddy issues?

No, I never had those issues.

My mom never pushed me to be a cheerleader. I said I wanted to be a model when I was 12 and they left that alone..

I wasn’t allowed to shave or wear makeup til I was a junior in high school.

No emphasis was EVER placed on my looks. I got attention by being the smart nerdy girl and that was fine.

Well looks start the attraction, but it’s everything else that makes it last.

This mostly comes from what I’ve seen at bars. The women go up on stage, act like complete whores to try and gain the most attention there, but then get offended if you treat them in a way they are portraying themselves to be – disrespectful to themselves.

And girls at bars are not a good population sample.

But I understand what you mean. It’s like the trashy girls on college campuses who everyone thinks are "hot" but then they giggle and act mad when boys keep asking them out. They’re asking for it and they know it.

No, I never had those issues.

My mom never pushed me to be a cheerleader. I said I wanted to be a model when I was 12 and they left that alone..

I wasn’t allowed to shave or wear makeup til I was a junior in high school.

No emphasis was EVER placed on my looks. I got attention by being the smart nerdy girl and that was fine.

ahh gotcha.

And girls at bars are not a good population sample.

But I understand what you mean. It’s like the trashy girls on college campuses who everyone thinks are "hot" but then they giggle and act mad when boys keep asking them out. They’re asking for it and they know it.

When I’m at this age, it’s mainly the only time I see any girls outside of class. I don’t know any of these people nor do I care to, it’s just something that’s a common sight and it confuses me.

Hell yes they know it, and I just don’t understand how women’s brains are wired to why they can’t ever just admit what it is they are doing when they clearly know. Maybe because they don’t want to sound like a stuck-up bitch, I don’t know.

When I’m at this age, it’s mainly the only time I see any girls outside of class. I don’t know any of these people nor do I care to, it’s just something that’s a common sight and it confuses me.

Hell yes they know it, and I just don’t understand how women’s brains are wired to why they can’t ever just admit what it is they are doing when they clearly know. Maybe because they don’t want to sound like a stuck-up bitch, I don’t know.

Exactly it.

They may not want to admit that they are attention whores who place their self worth on their looks/sex appeal but they do. So while a part of them doesn’t want the attention, they still crave it. If they didn’t they wouldn’t put so much time on their image and so much money into hair dye, makeup, and clothes. A girl can still be pretty without all of that but girls like that, don’t understand that. Since their looks really do define them, "natural beauty" is almost like being called ugly so they always strive to be "hot", and thus need constant male attention.

Exactly it.

They may not want to admit that they are attention whores who place their self worth on their looks/sex appeal but they do. So while a part of them doesn’t want the attention, they still crave it. If they didn’t they wouldn’t put so much time on their image and so much money into hair dye, makeup, and clothes. A girl can still be pretty without all of that but girls like that, don’t understand that. Since their looks really do define them, "natural beauty" is almost like being called ugly so they always strive to be "hot", and thus need constant male attention.

That pretty much answers my question. It’s sad so many people live like that and are almost oblivious to it. They know they are like that, but it’s just natural to them. It seems like no girl can ever say thank you and smile when someone calls them beautiful anymore, they all just say ‘yeah right’ or some shit.

Because being called beautiful now sounds like the guy is settling.

No guy, ok rarely, do guys look at a girl and say "Wow she’s beautiful" the word "hot" is always used.

Even girls that try to shy away from their looks and focus more on who they are on the inside, still feel that need for a little pure sexual attention… And not when we’re half naked. If those other girls can be hot just walking around a dirty bar or college campus, why can’t we be hot walking around your living room?

But now I’m venting. Sorry.

Because being called beautiful now sounds like the guy is settling.

No guy, ok rarely, do guys look at a girl and say "Wow she’s beautiful" the word "hot" is always used.

Even girls that try to shy away from their looks and focus more on who they are on the inside, still feel that need for a little pure sexual attention… And not when we’re half naked. If those other girls can be hot just walking around a dirty bar or college campus, why can’t we be hot walking around your living room?

But now I’m venting. Sorry.

I never looked at it like that…so you correlate beautiful with serious relationship? Hmm…interesting.
i dont think girls ever grow out of that… but why put a gender thing on it? i know a lot of guys the same way wanting attention from a lot of girls

i was raised in a broken home and all 3 of us react differently. my sister is the attractive skinny 90 pound girl who has a bajillion guy friends and needs constant attention to keep her happy with herself

my brother was a whore in high school and slept with at least 2 different girls each weekend. he’s settled down now but he’s still got a good 30 or so girls on his contact list that he chats with on webcam without his wife knowing about it

and i turned out to be the quiet withdrawn bookworm who loathes attention unless it’s from someone i care about.

all 3 of us had the same relationship with our drunk abusive father and our insane mother so i dunno how it goes with growing up with daddy issues or whatever.. everyone handles things differently

i dont think girls ever grow out of that… but why put a gender thing on it? i know a lot of guys the same way wanting attention from a lot of girls

i was raised in a broken home and all 3 of us react differently. my sister is the attractive skinny 90 pound girl who has a bajillion guy friends and needs constant attention to keep her happy with herself

my brother was a whore in high school and slept with at least 2 different girls each weekend. he’s settled down now but he’s still got a good 30 or so girls on his contact list that he chats with on webcam without his wife knowing about it

and i turned out to be the quiet withdrawn bookworm who loathes attention unless it’s from someone i care about.

all 3 of us had the same relationship with our drunk abusive father and our insane mother so i dunno how it goes with growing up with daddy issues or whatever.. everyone handles things differently

I don’t know men that keep 10,000 girlfriends they aren’t interested in, but will send them random texts with sexual hints and be overly flirty anytime they talk just to make themselves feel better.

Usually when a guy has a girl they talk to like that, it’s because they want them. These girls usually have no interest in any of these guys beyond an attention giver.

I don’t know men that keep 10,000 girlfriends they aren’t interested in, but will send them random texts with sexual hints and be overly flirty anytime they talk just to make themselves feel better.

Usually when a guy has a girl they talk to like that, it’s because they want them. These girls usually have no interest in any of these guys beyond an attention giver.

are you speaking about people’s online personalities or irl ones?

online i can be a complete attention whore but irl if someone gives me attention i usually do something disgusting to make them never look at me again

are you speaking about people’s online personalities or irl ones?

online i can be a complete attention whore but irl if someone gives me attention i usually do something disgusting to make them never look at me again

I suppose both, but online doesn’t matter much if it’s with a bunch of people you’ll never see, as long as you aren’t sending dirty pics and/or doing sexual shit on a webcam while in a relationship. Mixing IRL with online can become a problem, however.

Well, there’s your answer – girls stop being attention whores when guys stop being so willing to give their attention away.

I mean, hello, we raise girls in our culture immersed in media and a culture that says a woman’s worth is largely based on her ability to attract men. Some are more sensitive to the message than others. So of course you’d keep people around to constantly primp your ego, why wouldn’t you? I’d wonder why these guys put themselves in the position of doting on someone who obviously has no interest in them. There’s a circular effect.
I’m a girl and I’m going to go ahead and stand up and say that I love attention.

It is what it is.
Most of the girls who aren’t attention whores in that regard seem to have something else going for them (or rather the lack thereof) that turns me away. Not that I’m attracted to attention whores, but that’s not the be-all-end-all.

Basically you’ve said most chicks are sluts or teases and I’ll agree. What age will some of us truly appreciate a girl that’s not all about that — and find one that isn’t totally fucking weird? That’s my question.

No, I never had those issues.

My mom never pushed me to be a cheerleader. I said I wanted to be a model when I was 12 and they left that alone..

I wasn’t allowed to shave or wear makeup til I was a junior in high school.

No emphasis was EVER placed on my looks. I got attention by being the smart nerdy girl and that was fine.

It all makes sense now.
when they lose their looks. sometimes not even then. the only girls i know like that are ones who dont get attention.
I noticed this alot when I first got to college here. When I actively paid attention to most girls, they’d always come to me under the guise of being friendly, but I realized that they just wanted attention. Once I stopped making any effort to give them attention, but still being friendly, they stopped coming to me.

No, no.

I relate beautiful with being ugly.

No guy, even guys that I’ve dated have ever called me hot unless I’m half naked. But a girl off the streets they’ll talk with their friends about how hot she is. Me, not so much. I get the beautiful comments. Maybe that word holds more meaning to guys, or maybe they just feel bad for me.

One of the first times I went to my last boyfriends place we looked through his friends on facebook (Idk we were bored.. and his ex was a creepy stalker so he wanted me to see what she looked like since she’d been prank calling me) well. Anyways, he would look through his friends and tell me about the girls, say oh god she’s hot, and then squeeze me and say "but you’re beautiful and you’re mine" I wanted to cut his nuts off right then and there.

Girls like all that attention sometimes because as shallow as it is, it does give them some self worth. Always being "smart" or "beautiful" makes us feel like shit when we end up being just average in academics – something we’d worked at our whole lives or work. So the attention whore lifestyle is also a crutch for a lot of girls, and once they realize that the only opinion that matters is their OWN, not their boyfriends, or their friends, but their own view on themselves then they’ll be ready to grow up and look at things in a different light.

Well, there’s your answer – girls stop being attention whores when guys stop being so willing to give their attention away.

I mean, hello, we raise girls in our culture immersed in media and a culture that says a woman’s worth is largely based on her ability to attract men. Some are more sensitive to the message than others. So of course you’d keep people around to constantly primp your ego, why wouldn’t you? I’d wonder why these guys put themselves in the position of doting on someone who obviously has no interest in them. There’s a circular effect.

Yes, but why do they have to prey off of this? I understand men are willing to give attention away, but it’s because of the way women talk to them. Everything revolves around some sexual hints or jokes that get the men thinking they still have a chance. The men keep themselves in the position because the women make them think they have interest in them.

I’m a girl and I’m going to go ahead and stand up and say that I love attention.

It is what it is.

At least you can admit it.

Most of the ones that do always say "oh i hate attention" but then go off conversing with their 300 guy friends in some sexual nature even though they know they don’t have a bit of interest in them.

No, no.

I relate beautiful with being ugly.

No guy, even guys that I’ve dated have ever called me hot unless I’m half naked. But a girl off the streets they’ll talk with their friends about how hot she is. Me, not so much. I get the beautiful comments. Maybe that word holds more meaning to guys, or maybe they just feel bad for me.

One of the first times I went to my last boyfriends place we looked through his friends on facebook (Idk we were bored.. and his ex was a creepy stalker so he wanted me to see what she looked like since she’d been prank calling me) well. Anyways, he would look through his friends and tell me about the girls, say oh god she’s hot, and then squeeze me and say "but you’re beautiful and you’re mine" I wanted to cut his nuts off right then and there.

Girls like all that attention sometimes because as shallow as it is, it does give them some self worth. Always being "smart" or "beautiful" makes us feel like shit when we end up being just average in academics – something we’d worked at our whole lives or work. So the attention whore lifestyle is also a crutch for a lot of girls, and once they realize that the only opinion that matters is their OWN, not their boyfriends, or their friends, but their own view on themselves then they’ll be ready to grow up and look at things in a different light.

This may be different then others, so I’m not speaking for all men, but for myself – when I say a girl is beautiful it’s because I mean it. Hot is something I say when I’m looking at a chick with my dick. Hot is a word for something that’s sexually appealing. If I say a girl is beautiful it’s because I think they are a beautiful person, their personality, their looks, all the things that make them up to be a good girlfriend. So while yes, beautiful may be used in the sense of a relationship more often than when checking out the hottie in the car next to you, it’s also wayyyy more meaningful, at least when it comes to me.

Alot of chicks are hot, doesn’t mean I give two fucks about them.

If a girl is beautiful to me, they mean alot to me.

YES! so true
I think college girls are still VERY VERY IMMATURE in this regard. You try to treat them right and be in a real relationship and most have no idea how to handle someone wanting to be with them and take care of them in a serious way.

This may be different then others, so I’m not speaking for all men, but for myself – when I say a girl is beautiful it’s because I mean it. Hot is something I say when I’m looking at a chick with my dick. Hot is a word for something that’s sexually appealing. If I say a girl is beautiful it’s because I think they are a beautiful person, their personality, their looks, all the things that make them up to be a good girlfriend. So while yes, beautiful may be used in the sense of a relationship more often than when checking out the hottie in the car next to you, it’s also wayyyy more meaningful, at least when it comes to me.

Alot of chicks are hot, doesn’t mean I give two fucks about them.

If a girl is beautiful to me, they mean alot to me.

But even beautiful girls like to be thought of in a sexual manner.

So by saying "oh she’s beautiful.. great personality, good head on her shoulders etc" about an insecure girl, sounds like a guy is trying to make excuses as to why he hangs around her. That may not be true, but a lot of times it’s what it comes off as.

Hence the reason why hot girls are sometimes looked at as the superior, because at least nobody has to make excuses as to why they hang around those girls, it’s obvious.

The men delude themselves into thinking they have a chance. If they really thought they did they’d make a move. What’s the point of having a chance if you never do anything with it?
Depending on the girl/woman, it may never stop. I see 45-year moms (with everything heading south) trying to act/dress like their teenage daughters. I cringe when I hear them conversing and every other word coming out of their mouth is "like" or "sooooo". What’s even worse is I’ve witnessed a few trying to hit on guys while out and about with their daughters. Quite disgusting.

Sure I’ll admit it, I like some attention – I like to be acknowledged, spoken to kindly and to feel accepted and included. But I am not willing to do stupid shit or talk over everyone else to get the attention. I would rather someone pay attention to me because I deserve it for just being me

I suppose when you get someone to respond positively to you in a sexual manner, it is making a move and it’s being reciprocated. Eventually they will wake up out of it and go "look this chick has been talking all this shit for months and nothing’s come out of it" and they’ll start breaking it, but women have become masters at sucking them right back in. I just don’t understand why the hell they can’t stop being selfish for a minute and let someone out of their grip when they know they don’t want them there in the first place for anything but some bullshit reassurance they could get on their own if they just stopped being whiny highschoolers and smile at the reflection in the mirror.

But even beautiful girls like to be thought of in a sexual manner.

So by saying "oh she’s beautiful.. great personality, good head on her shoulders etc" about an insecure girl, sounds like a guy is trying to make excuses as to why he hangs around her. That may not be true, but a lot of times it’s what it comes off as.

Hence the reason why hot girls are sometimes looked at as the superior, because at least nobody has to make excuses as to why they hang around those girls, it’s obvious.

When you’re dating someone you’re usually having sex with them. I think that is a little hint that your b/f thinks about you sexually.

Hot girls tend to be ones we’d rather pump then dump. They have no fucking substance besides what’s between their legs. If most girls strive to be thought of like that and get offended when they are called beautiful or feel inferior to women we look at like that, then perhaps you really just answered my question.
This thread started because of a chick I’ve known for like 8 years does this shit everytime she becomes single again. She hoards as many men as possible, keeps all of them thinking they have chances, eventually gets a boyfriend (who was never any of these men to begin with mind you), then if they break up, she tries hoarding them all in again.

I used to be caught in her shit and I was in deep for a good year, but I’m out of it now, and she’s recently out of a relationship and I’m starting to see her behavior go back to this way and it just got me wondering, why does this seem to just be natural born behavior with women?

This thread started because of a chick I’ve known for like 8 years does this shit everytime she becomes single again. She hoards as many men as possible, keeps all of them thinking they have chances, eventually gets a boyfriend (who was never any of these men to begin with mind you), then if they break up, she tries hoarding them all in again.

I used to be caught in her shit and I was in deep for a good year, but I’m out of it now, and she’s recently out of a relationship and I’m starting to see her behavior go back to this way and it just got me wondering, why does this seem to just be natural born behavior with women?

I guess just because all women need some sort of validation. It makes sense that goes she attention crazy when she’s single, she has nobody reaffirming her that she’s "special" or "hot" or "wanted." Maybe she even feels like a failure, since she’s not in a relationship (mayyybe) so she also needs that validation and male attention to prove something.

When you’re dating someone you’re usually having sex with them. I think that is a little hint that your b/f thinks about you sexually.

Hot girls tend to be ones we’d rather pump then dump. They have no fucking substance besides what’s between their legs. If most girls strive to be thought of like that and get offended when they are called beautiful or feel inferior to women we look at like that, then perhaps you really just answered my question.

I guess it just sucks only being called beautiful once people get to know me.

I’m still by no means a raging attention whore, but looks are still a measure of self worth. I have no idea why girls think that way.. hell, blame the media if you want. I’m at a loss for excuses now.
It depends on the girl, I guess. I can handle attention, but sometimes I get really annoyed with it. I don’t go out of my way to get it, but if someone talks to me, I wouldn’t blatantly ignore them. I’m one of those women that get hit on and not even realize it though. I just assume guys are being friendly, maybe because I’m married and not really interested in any intentions they may have?

She has all the validation she needs. She has like 100 guys that’ll constantly be blowing up her phone, but for some reason she won’t ever try dating any of them. Just bitches about being single. I don’t get it. I understand attention is nice, but why so many? and why not give any of these guys a shot? Maybe it’s because they all talk to her sexually and she knows they just look at her like a piece of ass, but if that’s what she portrays herself to be when talking to them, then…..what does she expect them to say other than that?

I guess it just sucks only being called beautiful once people get to know me.

I’m still by no means a raging attention whore, but looks are still a measure of self worth. I have no idea why girls think that way.. hell, blame the media if you want. I’m at a loss for excuses now.

I never thought I’d hear someone complain about being called beautiful, but I guess you get sick of hearing the same thing over and over again. There isn’t many terms though when it comes to those compliments. Beautiful and gorgeous and pretty mean something. Hot/Sexy is just a ‘i bet she’d be fun to fuck’ thing.

Sure you can use both terms in a relationship, but I wouldn’t get upset about it and strive to always be thought of as ‘hot’ instead of beautiful if I were a girl. I’d rather be relationship material than a sex object, but maybe that’s looked down upon now-a-days.

If you’re devoted to your husband then yeah, you really won’t bother with other men’s compliments/sex comments. Your husband gives you all the compliments you need.

Makes sense. I understand everyone loves attention. I do as well, but I was more talking about the looks factor. They act as if all these men that announce in what ways and how much they want to fuck them, is a compliment!

It’s like they enjoy being objectified, and I just don’t understand it.

What’s not to understand???

It’s NICE to know that people want to fuck you. It’s the same for both genders: for most people, it’s GOOD NEWS… get that through your head. NICE doesn’t even cut it. It’s AWESOME to know that people want to fuck you. Yeah, you can use all that rhetoric our puritanical culture has developed for this sort of thing: tease; slut; exhibitionist; validation-seeker; attention whore; sex object; and "filling a hole." Newsflash, ALL earthly desires come down to "filling a hole." Hungry? Fill your hole. Want to be fucked? Fill your hole.

IMO, and I could be way off here, but frankly, I’m not, because it’s obvious: you’re just frustrated with your lady life. You are (accidentally) rationalizing that frustration to an outward problem ("girls objectify themselves!") rather than turning it inward ("I have shit to work on.")

Don’t forget swingers. You’ve really got to grasp that there’s no objective rule for this stuff, it’s just people with certain preferences and fears projecting their preferences and fears into ethics. Are you a jealous guy? Then you probably think of some girls as "slutty", because it turns your fear of promiscuity into a moral judgment (empowers your fear). Are you turned on by girls with other guys? Then you probably don’t think of girls as "slutty," because it turns your enjoyment of promiscuity into a negative moral judgment (disempowers your preference).

At least you can admit it.

Most of the ones that do always say "oh i hate attention" but then go off conversing with their 300 guy friends in some sexual nature even though they know they don’t have a bit of interest in them.

I find this frustrating as well. But I no longer view socializing in terms of direct communication, so everything anyone says I now translate to mean something else, i.e., "I don’t like attention" = "I can’t say I like attention because I know you will judge me for it".

What’s not to understand???

It’s NICE to know that people want to fuck you. It’s the same for both genders: for most people, it’s GOOD NEWS… get that through your head. NICE doesn’t even cut it. It’s AWESOME to know that people want to fuck you. Yeah, you can use all that rhetoric our puritanical culture has developed for this sort of thing: tease; slut; exhibitionist; validation-seeker; attention whore; sex object; and "filling a hole." Newsflash, ALL earthly desires come down to "filling a hole." Hungry? Fill your hole. Want to be fucked? Fill your hole.

IMO, and I could be way off here, but frankly, I’m not, because it’s obvious: you’re just frustrated with your lady life. You are (accidentally) rationalizing that frustration to an outward problem ("girls objectify themselves!") rather than turning it inward ("I have shit to work on.")

I see what you’re saying but not all ladies go around thinking "Yay! He’d fuck me!" "I’m fuckable!"

When we want sex, we know how to get it, and we can usually find a willing participant.

Maybe I’m weird, if I have a conversation with a random guy, I’m not thinking "Hey, I wonder if he’d do me?" I take it at face value, it’s just a conversation. I don’t really think about it too much because I’m not all that interested.

I see what you’re saying but not all ladies go around thinking "Yay! He’d fuck me!" "I’m fuckable!"

When we want sex, we know how to get it, and we can usually find a willing participant.

Maybe I’m weird, if I have a conversation with a random guy, I’m not thinking "Hey, I wonder if he’d do me?" I take it at face value, it’s just a conversation. I don’t really think about it too much because I’m not all that interested.

You’re right. I misspoke. It’s not "Yay, he’d fuck me," it’s "Yay, I’m hot / beautiful / pretty."

That’s because girls shield themselves from the full sexness of it and just translate it into "oh he thinks I’m hot / beautiful / pretty, cool…"

It’s easier on the girl’s mind to stop the thought process there. In reality, it’s the same thing as "oh he wants to fuck my brains out," but for whatever reason some girls prefer to think of it differently. Same thing different name.

edit: Also, I’m not saying this happens on a CONSCIOUS level. It’s just what happens, unconsciously or consciously, depending how self-aware the girl is.
It’s not even wondering if he thinks I’m hot, what I’m thinking is that he’s friendly and outgoing, and likes to talk to people.

Just because a guy talks to me doesn’t automatically mean he thinks I’m hot. If he does, okay. If not, that works too.

It’s not even wondering if he thinks I’m hot, what I’m thinking is that he’s friendly and outgoing, and likes to talk to people.

Just because a guy talks to me doesn’t automatically mean he thinks I’m hot. If he does, okay. If not, that works too.

Yeah, I guess we’re talking about 2 different things

Maybe. I haven’t had my full pot of coffee yet, so I could very well be misinterpreting.
You should give them attention, but on your terms. Give them value and then they will in turn give you value back.

It’s not even wondering if he thinks I’m hot, what I’m thinking is that he’s friendly and outgoing, and likes to talk to people.

Just because a guy talks to me doesn’t automatically mean he thinks I’m hot. If he does, okay. If not, that works too.

That just means he doesn’t know how to be his natural unstifled self. Any woman you talk to, if you project a sexual, dominant frame on, even in the slightest of ways, she will find you attractive, if you are congruent with that. You on the other hand must not have run into guys who are that way.

You should give them attention, but on your terms. Give them value and then they will in turn give you value back.

That just means he doesn’t know how to be his natural unstifled self. Any woman you talk to, if you project a sexual, dominant frame on, even in the slightest of ways, she will find you attractive, if you are congruent with that. You on the other hand must not have run into guys who are that way.

Maybe I’m not paying that much attention? I find lots of people attractive, but it’s not a big deal I guess.Kind of like "Hmm, he’s handsome and really nice, cool guy." And let it at that. What I’m trying to say is that I honestly don’t take notice if they are projecting anything of a sexual nature, it’s hard to explain and put into words that somebody else would understand.

What’s not to understand???

It’s NICE to know that people want to fuck you. It’s the same for both genders: for most people, it’s GOOD NEWS… get that through your head. NICE doesn’t even cut it. It’s AWESOME to know that people want to fuck you. Yeah, you can use all that rhetoric our puritanical culture has developed for this sort of thing: tease; slut; exhibitionist; validation-seeker; attention whore; sex object; and "filling a hole." Newsflash, ALL earthly desires come down to "filling a hole." Hungry? Fill your hole. Want to be fucked? Fill your hole.

IMO, and I could be way off here, but frankly, I’m not, because it’s obvious: you’re just frustrated with your lady life. You are (accidentally) rationalizing that frustration to an outward problem ("girls objectify themselves!") rather than turning it inward ("I have shit to work on.")

I personally think you’re way too excited about the thought of others wanting to fuck you. So you’re saying that all women just get all giddy and become estatic about the thought other men want to fuck them and they actively think about it all the time because it’s human nature? I think that’s a bit of a stretch, and even a bit low to say that.

Based on your comments, you’re basically saying if you’re in a relationship you’re ok with the fact your g/f is actively thinking about and being excited at the thought of other men wanting to fuck them? I don’t know about you, but that’s a bit of a stretch to think all women operate to that extent. Happy about attention is one thing. Feeling excited and thriving on the fact other men want to ‘fill their hole’, as you so nicely put it, is another.

Also, I didn’t ask for your personal evaluation on my lady life. This was a general question and I’ve had some good answers in here. I used to be frustrated from this as I stated from a past interest I had. I’m not in her trap anymore and was just curious to how this seemed to be natural behavior women revert to when single, and many while in relationships.

Don’t forget swingers. You’ve really got to grasp that there’s no objective rule for this stuff, it’s just people with certain preferences and fears projecting their preferences and fears into ethics. Are you a jealous guy? Then you probably think of some girls as "slutty", because it turns your fear of promiscuity into a moral judgment (empowers your fear). Are you turned on by girls with other guys? Then you probably don’t think of girls as "slutty," because it turns your enjoyment of promiscuity into a negative moral judgment (disempowers your preference).

I don’t see how that relates to the topic at all. You must of missed the fact I was responding to her and only her, and that I used the word "devoted".

Again, you’re a little too excited at laughing about things like you know something we all don’t.

Calm down.

I personally think you’re way too excited about the thought of others wanting to fuck you. So you’re saying that all women just get all giddy and become estatic about the thought other men want to fuck them and they actively think about it all the time because it’s human nature? I think that’s a bit of a stretch, and even a bit low to say that.

Based on your comments, you’re basically saying if you’re in a relationship you’re ok with the fact your g/f is actively thinking about and being excited at the thought of other men wanting to fuck them? I don’t know about you, but that’s a bit of a stretch to think all women operate to that extent. Happy about attention is one thing. Feeling excited and thriving on the fact other men want to ‘fill their hole’, as you so nicely put it, is another.

Also, I didn’t ask for your personal evaluation on my lady life. This was a general question and I’ve had some good answers in here. I used to be frustrated from this as I stated from a past interest I had. I’m not in her trap anymore and was just curious to how this seemed to be natural behavior women revert to when single, and many while in relationships.

Thank You!

I personally think you’re way too excited about the thought of others wanting to fuck you. So you’re saying that all women just get all giddy and become estatic about the thought other men want to fuck them and they actively think about it all the time because it’s human nature? I think that’s a bit of a stretch, and even a bit low to say that.

Based on your comments, you’re basically saying if you’re in a relationship you’re ok with the fact your g/f is actively thinking about and being excited at the thought of other men wanting to fuck them? I don’t know about you, but that’s a bit of a stretch to think all women operate to that extent. Happy about attention is one thing. Feeling excited and thriving on the fact other men want to ‘fill their hole’, as you so nicely put it, is another.

Also, I didn’t ask for your personal evaluation on my lady life. This was a general question and I’ve had some good answers in here. I used to be frustrated from this as I stated from a past interest I had. I’m not in her trap anymore and was just curious to how this seemed to be natural behavior women revert to when single, and many while in relationships.

The girl’s happy because her social value is going up. She gets validation, it’s good for her. This is what socially "confident" women have.

You’re right, though, in her head, she’s not thinking, "Awesome, this guy wants to fuck me." Only, "awesome, I’m hot." And even then, it’s usually on a SUBconscious level.

That hole I was talking about – it was metaphorical. And then I made a pun about it based on physical anatomy. I was discussing the elusive hole in your personality that you supposedly fill up but never fill up all the way by getting validation from men. And debunking it as a retarded metaphor, because ALL earthly desires are cyclical.

I don’t see how that relates to the topic at all. You must of missed the fact I was responding to her and only her, and that I used the word "devoted".

Again, you’re a little too excited at laughing about things like you know something we all don’t.

Calm down.

Grow up.

You are not responding to the actual content of that post.

Ok, there’s a misunderstanding right here. I’m NOT saying girls go out getting hot about the fact that every 5 guys she passes in the street want to fuck her in their OWN MINDS.

In their own mind, girls go out and get excited, or happy, or elated when they know they have high social value. As do we all.

And the funny thing is that, y’all could disagree with me, but if we were talking about this in person, you would all be subject to the exact same social forces that I’m discussing here.

It’s doublethink.

Every girl knows that a guy who thinks she is hot, will want to fuck her. But she doesn’t KNOW. There’s knowledge and then knowledge.

Grow up.

You are not responding to the actual content of that post.

Umm actually I was. Who the fuck are you to tell me I wasn’t?

She commented about her marriage and her husband and I specifically said YOU’RE DEVOTED TO YOUR HUSBAND.

I think that means I was talking to her.

Umm actually I was. Who the fuck are you to tell me I wasn’t?

She commented about her marriage and her husband and I specifically said YOU’RE DEVOTED TO YOUR HUSBAND.

I think that means I was talking to her.

Yeah, you are right. That’s not what I was saying, but whatever

At any rate, back on topic, I do think you’re taking your frustration with your ladiez situation and projecting it at reality (it’s realities fault!) rather than finding ways to ameliorate the problem.. tell me if I’m mistaken

The girl’s happy because her social value is going up. She gets validation, it’s good for her. This is what socially "confident" women have.

You’re right, though, in her head, she’s not thinking, "Awesome, this guy wants to fuck me." Only, "awesome, I’m hot." And even then, it’s usually on a SUBconscious level.

That hole I was talking about – it was metaphorical. And then I made a pun about it based on physical anatomy. I was discussing the elusive hole in your personality that you supposedly fill up but never fill up all the way by getting validation from men. And debunking it as a retarded metaphor, because ALL earthly desires are cyclical.

I’ll agree with social value/attention/validation.

I believe the women make sure it’s in a sexual nature when they do this because they know that’s what will keep men around the most, as sad as that is.

It’s weird, it’s like they KNOW the sexual hints are the only thing keeping these guy’s interests, but if you straight up ask them about how they felt about being sexually objectified and looked at only as a sex object, they get very offended and say they don’t like that at all. They know deep down it’s very rare where a man can be a friend to them without the possibility of sexual interaction keeping them there, so they do just that, but then get all pissy if you try and bring it up and say "what are you saying, that men can only like me for what’s between my legs?" Well yeah, if that’s the only way you’ll converse with them to keep them responding, I’d say that’s a fair judgment. It’s weird what you’ll hear when you actually put it to their attention just what it is they are doing and the only reason why that guy is hanging around. It’s like they know, but they just won’t admit it.

I’ll agree with social value/attention/validation.

I believe the women make sure it’s in a sexual nature when they do this because they know that’s what will keep men around the most, as sad as that is.

It’s weird, it’s like they KNOW the sexual hints are the only thing keeping these guy’s interests, but if you straight up ask them about how they felt about being sexually objectified and looked at only as a sex object, they get very offended and say they don’t like that at all. They know deep down it’s very rare where a man can be a friend to them without the possibility of sexual interaction keeping them there, so they do just that, but then get all pissy if you try and bring it up and say "what are you saying, that men can only like me for what’s between my legs?" Well yeah, if that’s the only way you’ll converse with them to keep them responding, I’d say that’s a fair judgment. It’s weird what you’ll hear when you actually put it to their attention just what it is they are doing and the only reason why that guy is hanging around. It’s like they know, but they just won’t admit it.

I feel that! But think about the way you’re phrasing it, you’re already including a presumptive judgment in the question itself!

"Do you like being objectified?" That’s begging the questionn.

If you had said, "Do you like being hot?" … obviously you would get a different response.

YOU’RE the one calling it objectification… I think that categorization is highly suspect.

Yeah, you are right. That’s not what I was saying, but whatever

At any rate, back on topic, I do think you’re taking your frustration with your ladiez situation and projecting it at reality (it’s realities fault!) rather than finding ways to ameliorate the problem.. tell me if I’m mistaken

Umm, well I am frustrated in the sense of in this age group it seems you cannot just find a woman that’ll stay devoted to you and not at least do behavior that if they caught you doing, they’d flip their shit about.

"oh he’s just a friend" works when they say it, even though you’ll catch many sexual undertones in their conversations if you happen to see any, but try that yourself? and oh no, that’s just unacceptable.

That’s frustrating. This age group sucks, the probability of finding someone who is level headed when it comes to sexual desire and getting way too needy for sexual attention from other men that they don’t even want to do the sexual acts with seems to be slim to none.

Umm, well I am frustrated in the sense of in this age group it seems you cannot just find a woman that’ll stay devoted to you and not at least do behavior that if they caught you doing, they’d flip their shit about.

"oh he’s just a friend" works when they say it, even though you’ll catch many sexual undertones in their conversations if you happen to see any, but try that yourself? and oh no, that’s just unacceptable.

That’s frustrating. This age group sucks, the probability of finding someone who is level headed when it comes to sexual desire and getting way too needy for sexual attention from other men that they don’t even want to do the sexual acts with seems to be slim to none.

I really do get what you’re saying, although I don’t feel that way anymore.

I was always deeply concerned in regards to my ex-gf, who would banter like crazy with anyone in sight because she was cutehot and outgoing.

I’m now in love with a beautiful girl who I’m actually moving in with in the next few weeks () and we don’t have a closed relationship or anything like that. So it wouldn’t even make sense for her to tell me not to hang out with someone because we have not set up any entitlements of that nature, just as it would make no sense for me to "accuse" her of licentious undercurrents in her interactions because that’s her prerogative.

I feel that! But think about the way you’re phrasing it, you’re already including a presumptive judgment in the question itself!

"Do you like being objectified?" That’s begging the questionn.

If you had said, "Do you like being hot?" … obviously you would get a different response.

YOU’RE the one calling it objectification… I think that categorization is highly suspect.

Well, I guess I mean this more in ways you see women interact in a bar and/or club. They dress up to be sexually appealing, let’s face it, they are a woman they could get in with a t-shirt and jeans, but they do their hair, put on nice shoes, dress pants/skirt, some cute top showing cleavage, etc. and then they’ll get drunk and start dancing basically like strippers in front of all men to see, completely objectifying themselves like the only thing they are good at is sex. Of course this naturally perks the men’s attention, but then if the man goes to touch one of them, or talks to them in a sexual manner, or hell even stares at them too much – the women will act as if they got offended because he’s just looking at them as sex object!

This will continue to astound me. Matching up their behavior with logic just seems to be 100% unattainable when it comes to most women this age that like to party. I’m not saying all of them do it, but the majority do.

I really do get what you’re saying, although I don’t feel that way anymore.

I was always deeply concerned in regards to my ex-gf, who would banter like crazy with anyone in sight because she was cutehot and outgoing.

I’m now in love with a beautiful girl who I’m actually moving in with in the next few weeks () and we don’t have a closed relationship or anything like that. So it wouldn’t even make sense for her to tell me not to hang out with someone because we have not set up any entitlements of that nature, just as it would make no sense for me to "accuse" her of licentious undercurrents in her interactions because that’s her prerogative.

That’s cool man, good luck with that!

I do understand that as I grow and mature I will most likely understand this is just what women do and I won’t find it as threatening behavior until things start popping up where it seems they are doing more than just the ‘natural’ flirty stuff.

I already know that in most cases, all the men they do talk with like this they have NO interest in being with, they just get a rise out of keeping them there. So basically, yeah, deep down I know it’s really not a threat. Who cares if there’s a bunch of men sexually lusting over my chick, and who cares if she just toys with them, right? It’s an insecurity issue on my part, and I suppose instead of trying to blame the women as being ‘whorish’, I just need to accept it is what it is, and there was never any harm in being flirty or sexually appealing. It’s when the behavior is ACTED upon and unfaithfulness comes into play when it becomes an issue.

I have a problem with correlating the two. I look at this flirty behavior as a beginning to where they might want to act on it instead of just meaninglessly talking about it, and that’s where my insecurities come in, and with this age group I’m in (i’m 22) I think I have full reason to be concerned, but I know I start assuming way too much and convince myself this is exactly what is going to happen.

True.

completely objectifying themselves

That’s YOU’RE judgment call, THEY don’t think that is what they’re doing, they just like the fact that their social value is sky-rocketing up through the roof of the club.

like the only thing they are good at is sex.

This gets a , man.

That’s YOUR conclusion. In their minds, they’re not suggesting that the only thing they are good at is sex. They are suggesting that ONE of the things they’re good at MIGHT be sex IF you could get in their pants. It’s a social power thing. But isn’t that a ridiculous fallacy on your part, to think that if you advertise your sexual desirability, you are NECESSARILY saying that your sexual desirability is your only worthy attribute? That’s bullshit. If I advertise my intelligence, that doesn’t mean I’m "objectifying" myself by making it seem the only thing I’m good at is solving problems, I can still have other things going for me too; if I advertise my good looks, that doesn’t mean I’m "objectifying" myself by making it seem the only thing I’m good at is sex, I’ve still got other things going for me.

Of course this naturally perks the men’s attention, but then if the man goes to touch one of them, or talks to them in a sexual manner, or hell even stares at them too much – the women will act as if they got offended because he’s just looking at them as sex object!

That’s interesting. I think this is probably due to a lack of respect on your part. Since you assume incorrectly that the girls are inviting disrespect, when in reality they are merely exhibiting their sexual desirability, you behave disrespectfully and they don’t like it. But they LIKE sexual advances. It’s not the sexual advance they reject, it’s the making-them-feel-slutty.
I’m 22, too. Too bad you live in Wisconsin, you seem interesting

Girl’s want guys attention, but not every guys. It’d be the equivalent of ugly, obese women touching on you and constantly approaching you in a sexual manner.

I think that’s one possibility, but to tell the truth I enjoy a fattie’s company even if she’s into me, so long as she’s not rude and knows that I’m not interested. I don’t mind her acting into me or flirting, it’s quite pleasant

True.
That’s YOU’RE judgment call, THEY don’t think that is what they’re doing, they just like the fact that their social value is sky-rocketing up through the roof of the club.
This gets a , man.

That’s YOUR conclusion. In their minds, they’re not suggesting that the only thing they are good at is sex. They are suggesting that ONE of the things they’re good at MIGHT be sex IF you could get in their pants. It’s a social power thing. But isn’t that a ridiculous fallacy on your part, to think that if you advertise your sexual desirability, you are NECESSARILY saying that your sexual desirability is your only worthy attribute? That’s bullshit. If I advertise my intelligence, that doesn’t mean I’m "objectifying" myself by making it seem the only thing I’m good at is solving problems, I can still have other things going for me too; if I advertise my good looks, that doesn’t mean I’m "objectifying" myself by making it seem the only thing I’m good at is sex, I’ve still got other things going for me.

That’s interesting. I think this is probably due to a lack of respect on your part. Since you assume incorrectly that the girls are inviting disrespect, when in reality they are merely exhibiting their sexual desirability, you behave disrespectfully and they don’t like it. But they LIKE sexual advances. It’s not the sexual advance they reject, it’s the making-them-feel-slutty.

I guess I can’t see how they DON’T see it as that’s what they are doing. Look, If I’m dressed up in a way where all my goods are nearly spilling out, and I’m gyrating my hips in a way I’d be riding a cock, I don’t see how I could look at what I’m doing as anything other than trying to look as a sex object.

That’s an interesting way to put it. I do understand what you mean by if they are putting out their sexual desirability it doesn’t mean that is the ONLY thing they are good at, but in my opinion (and maybe this is another place I’m at fault), I like to put what’s best out in front, and then the rest can trickle into place after that.

If I’m just portraying "LOOK AT ME. I’M SEXY, I KNOW HOW TO RIDE A COCK, AND IF I’LL ACT LIKE THIS IN FRONT OF ALL THESE MEN JUST THINK OF HOW I’LL BE IN BED WITH YOU" I’m putting it out there that this is what I think is my #1 attribute. Sex. If I thought I was more interesting on another level, I’d be at the bar stool watching all these women act like strippers on a stage trying to dance the sluttiest to get the most eyes in their direction, and hope some gentleman in the bar/club was looking for someone with more substance and thought higher of themselves than that.

And how do you approach a chick by not making them feel slutty, when for the past half an hour they were basically taking part in a ‘the one who looks the sluttiest gets the most attention’ competition?

See, but they’ll do this on a night out with the girls when their boyfriend’s at home, or if they’re single not looking, or if they’re single and looking, or if they are seriously just straight up gutter trash looking for the next cock to suck. They all seem to flock together when it comes to wanting attention. None of the men know what their status is, so how can you punish them when they try to make an advance on you after you’ve been shaking your ass in 30 guy’s faces for an hour?

Hell, they’ll even act offended when a really good looking guy comes on to them, because again, they take it as they’ve only been looking at them with their dicks.

thanks, when I get talking alot of people notice I’m a bit different than most

It’s interesting in some ways, but in others it really becomes a negative.

See, but they’ll do this on a night out with the girls when their boyfriend’s at home, or if they’re single not looking, or if they’re single and looking, or if they are seriously just straight up gutter trash looking for the next cock to suck. They all seem to flock together when it comes to wanting attention. None of the men know what their status is, so how can you punish them when they try to make an advance on you after you’ve been shaking your ass in 30 guy’s faces for an hour?

Hell, they’ll even act offended when a really good looking guy comes on to them, because again, they take it as they’ve only been looking at them with their dicks.

Clubs are such a different beast though. It’s all about their own social value and has little to do with sex for these girls.

But they know it has ALL to do with sex for the majority of the men, so to increase their own social value they know for them to do so, they have to be appealing to the way most men will respond, which is making themselves look sexually desirable?

That does make alot of sense.

The women get their social value raised, a few men get lucky with a few of the really low trashy girls mixed in with the crowd, and the rest of the girls go home by themselves or back to their boyfriends they are faithful to with virtually no harm done. Very logical actually, and I bet the boyfriends are kind of happy from that every now and then girls night out, because if the girls social value is raised, it usually raises their self esteem and makes them happier. I guess it’s like having someone else do the work for you for that night, just as long as they aren’t truly goin to work on em afterwards of course

Again, that’s how YOU do things.

In that particular context, the girls are putting out not what’s necessarily BEST, per se. They’re just putting out what maximizes their social value the most.

It’s the same for both genders, except that in some cases all a girl needs in order to get validation from a man is as little as a look. Since she KNOWS the guy would fuck her, she’s been validated. (No, she doesn’t think this to herself consciously.) It’s not like how it is with guys, where you’re not a pimp until you’ve actually gotten laid. A girl pimps it 100x times faster and harder because she gets validation from simply being there on the floor with her stuff showing because, again, she KNOWS that she effectively just landed every guy in the room who turned to stare.

Like I said, the girls are putting out not what’s necessarily BEST, per se. They’re just putting out what maximizes their social value the most.

But they know it has ALL to do with sex for the majority of the men, so to increase their own social value they know for them to do so, they have to be appealing to the way most men will respond, which is making themselves look sexually desirable?

That does make alot of sense.

The women get their social value raised, a few men get lucky with a few of the really low trashy girls mixed in with the crowd, and the rest of the girls go home by themselves or back to their boyfriends they are faithful to with virtually no harm done. Very logical actually, and I bet the boyfriends are kind of happy from that every now and then girls night out, because if the girls social value is raised, it usually raises their self esteem and makes them happier. I guess it’s like having someone else do the work for you for that night, just as long as they aren’t truly goin to work on em afterwards of course

Except that taking a girl home from a club is totally feasible, you don’t have to be trashy about it, you can just be NORMAL and cool and that does the trick

Bolded part, that’s a shit test. You fall for it therefore showing you are not sexually desirable. Women want to have sex. They enjoy sex. They just don’t want to be known as sluts to chodes. They have no issue sleeping with the high value guys. Chodes are normally the ones that label women sluts and whores. High value guys see it as an opportunity to enjoy the woman for what she truly is . . . Female.

Normal and cool, means unstifled and self-amusing.

Again, that’s how YOU do things.

In that particular context, the girls are putting out not what’s necessarily BEST, per se. They’re just putting out what maximizes their social value the most.

It’s the same for both genders, except that in some cases all a girl needs in order to get validation from a man is as little as a look. Since she KNOWS the guy would fuck her, she’s been validated. (No, she doesn’t think this to herself consciously.) It’s not like how it is with guys, where you’re not a pimp until you’ve actually gotten laid. A girl pimps it 100x times faster and harder because she gets validation from simply being there on the floor with her stuff showing because, again, she KNOWS that she effectively just landed every guy in the room who turned to stare.

Like I said, the girls are putting out not what’s necessarily BEST, per se. They’re just putting out what maximizes their social value the most.

Makes sense. What’s best might not be the quickest way to get noticed, and we as men and our society has basically trained women that the quickest way to be noticed is to look good. So for us guys to feel validation we need the physical factor and actually have a sex ACT. For women they are basically just whoring themselves out MENTALLY, and they get what they need 1000 times in one night, where most of the men won’t get it at all.

Women are such tricksters

So in short, this behavior isn’t threatening to a relationship at all unless the woman isn’t in it just for herself, and actually wants to make the guy get his validation for the night as well…

Why do you need external validation? That’s such a bad way to live life. You should be internally validated.

I know it’s feasable, but I’m just not like that. I think if a woman is willing to fuck you after meeting you in some drunken cesspool of testosterone it shows alot about how classless she is and that this is definitely repeated behavior, which makes her even less appealing to me.

Maybe I’m rare in that aspect. When in a relationship sex is a big thing to me, but when single and out at the bars, I could give a fuck less. None of the women interest me because I know if I was able to take them home I wouldn’t have one shit of respect for them.

I’m just talking about what goes on at bars and how most men there operate. Not speaking for myself personally.

When I was big into the bar scene with my other guy friends I did notice I had alot more women coming up to me than them because I wasn’t giving any of them an ounce of attention

But they know it has ALL to do with sex for the majority of the men, so to increase their own social value they know for them to do so, they have to be appealing to the way most men will respond, which is making themselves look sexually desirable?

That does make alot of sense.

The women get their social value raised, a few men get lucky with a few of the really low trashy girls mixed in with the crowd, and the rest of the girls go home by themselves or back to their boyfriends they are faithful to with virtually no harm done. Very logical actually, and I bet the boyfriends are kind of happy from that every now and then girls night out, because if the girls social value is raised, it usually raises their self esteem and makes them happier. I guess it’s like having someone else do the work for you for that night, just as long as they aren’t truly goin to work on em afterwards of course

Wow, I was trying to think of ways to elaborate one what I meant but you pretty much nailed it yourself. It’s funny, the girls you’d look at in the club thinking "oh god, what a whore…" is probably having a lot less (indiscriminate) sex/sex partners than other women. They just like to create that image for themselves because it keeps those around them interested and probably gets them favors, VIP treatment and exclusivity.

You’d probably do better to target women who don’t project that image.

I know it’s feasable, but I’m just not like that. I think if a woman is willing to fuck you after meeting you in some drunken cesspool of testosterone it shows alot about how classless she is and that this is definitely repeated behavior, which makes her even less appealing to me.

Maybe I’m rare in that aspect. When in a relationship sex is a big thing to me, but when single and out at the bars, I could give a fuck less. None of the women interest me because I know if I was able to take them home I wouldn’t have one shit of respect for them.

To be good with one woman, you must be good with all women. Put your ego aside and start learning how they behave. Some of the most interesting women I have met are from clubs and bars. Don’t assume they are sluts or whores, because they aren’t sleeping with you.

I don’t notice chodes and orbiters anymore. They are just for my amusement, nothing else.

The less attention you give, the more they want from you.

Wow, I was trying to think of ways to elaborate one what I meant but you pretty much nailed it yourself. It’s funny, the girls you’d look at in the club thinking "oh god, what a whore…" is probably having a lot less (indiscriminate) sex/sex partners than other women. They just like to create that image for themselves because it keeps those around them interested and probably gets them favors, VIP treatment and exclusivity.

You’d probably do better to target women who don’t project that image.

I’ve never really met a girl in a bar/club. Only small house parties or school. Only girl I met at a bar was this smoking hot bartender who I really just wrote off as trying to get tips from me. After many many many nights of her getting closer and friendlier with me my buddy’s were all like "dude I think she’s actually into you"…so I manned up and gave her my number. She smiled, said she’d call, and then I found out she had a boyfriend and she was probably just trying to work me over for tips

Okay. Unless you happen to think either

a) You’re absolutely the shit, the top cheddar, you are money.

or

b) Even though it’s a club, you guys still find that you have a genuine, real connection

The latter case is self-explanatory. The former case… well, if you really think you’re the shit, then it’s not because the girl is going home with guys every night, it’s just because you are THAT good.

I’ve learned how they behave, and I’ve portrayed most of it as ways for me to be untrusting…but this conversation in this thread really has made me understand it’s not all about what I think it is for them. As a man I tend to think more things have to deal with sex, so I assumed it was the same for women, since they were always, at least in my eyes, trying to be sex objects. It’s pretty damn cool the way I can see things now through the women’s point of view from this thread.

Happily, that’s a load of crap. As long as you can combine giving value with sexual advances, you’re fine

Or she’s a cheater

Or she’s a cheater

Well damn I don’t condone it, but she could of at least cheated on him with me

I assume he already had rapport or knew them. If that’s contrary than I was in the wrong. It’s basic push pull, but the wording was wrong on my behalf.

Yeah, I’ve always been quibbly on whether or not being the cheatee was unethical.

o. gotcha

Cheatee means, you are the one cheating or she is cheating with you? If she is cheating with you, you are not responsible. That’s her actions, not yours.

If I know beforehand they have a b/f I don’t think I could do it.

If I didn’t know, then that’s their bad completely.

I know it’s feasable, but I’m just not like that. I think if a woman is willing to fuck you after meeting you in some drunken cesspool of testosterone it shows alot about how classless she is and that this is definitely repeated behavior, which makes her even less appealing to me.

Maybe I’m rare in that aspect. When in a relationship sex is a big thing to me, but when single and out at the bars, I could give a fuck less. None of the women interest me because I know if I was able to take them home I wouldn’t have one shit of respect for them.

hmmmm…. interesting

I know it’s feasable, but I’m just not like that. I think if a woman is willing to fuck you after meeting you in some drunken cesspool of testosterone it shows alot about how classless she is and that this is definitely repeated behavior, which makes her even less appealing to me.

Maybe I’m rare in that aspect. When in a relationship sex is a big thing to me, but when single and out at the bars, I could give a fuck less. None of the women interest me because I know if I was able to take them home I wouldn’t have one shit of respect for them.

Excellent.

A lot of females I know who frequently patronize the bar/club scene don’t really have a lot of integrity. Their relationships in and outside the home are shit, and they constantly seek attention. Yeah I’m stereotyping, it’s hard not too when these bitches keep reinforcing them. Sure some are hot but when that wears off, they’ll still be working retail wasting away their employee discount at H&M.

Excellent.

A lot of females I know who frequently patronize the bar/club scene don’t really have a lot of integrity. Their relationships in and outside the home are shit, and they constantly seek attention. Yeah I’m stereotyping, it’s hard not too when these bitches keep reinforcing them. Sure some are hot but when that wears off, they’ll still be working retail wasting away their employee discount at H&M.

Excellent.

This is a self-fulfilling rationalization that will seriously limit your experiences with beautiful women.

The people who go to clubs are called EXTROVERTS. If that doesn’t work for you, so be it, but don’t kid yourself.

Excellent.

This is a self-fulfilling rationalization that will seriously limit your experiences with beautiful women.

The people who go to clubs are called EXTROVERTS. If that doesn’t work for you, so be it, but don’t kid yourself.

Getting married this year so I don’t mind.

Call them what you want but these "extroverts" all have the same emotional capacities. I think I’m a pretty empathetic person and I can distinguish an outgoing person from an introvert.

But hey, if spending paychecks on: new clothes for Friday that you’ll only wear once, 8 dollar beers (15 dollar cocktails), and acting like a total slut on any guy who rubs their gooch on your leg is an extroverted quality, so be it. Let the woman enjoy herself she’s just unwinding AMIRITE

Getting married this year so I don’t mind.

Call them what you want but these "extroverts" all have the same emotional capacities. I think I’m a pretty empathetic person and I can distinguish an outgoing person from an introvert.

But hey, if spending paychecks on: new clothes for Friday that you’ll only wear once, 8 dollar beers (15 dollar cocktails), and acting like a total slut on any guy who rubs their gooch on your leg is an extroverted quality, so be it. Let the woman enjoy herself she’s just unwinding AMIRITE

Congrats

The people who go to clubs are called EXTROVERTS. If that doesn’t work for you, so be it, but don’t kid yourself.

I know plenty of extroverts who aren’t club whores.

Getting married this year so I don’t mind.

Call them what you want but these "extroverts" all have the same emotional capacities. I think I’m a pretty empathetic person and I can distinguish an outgoing person from an introvert.

But hey, if spending paychecks on: new clothes for Friday that you’ll only wear once, 8 dollar beers (15 dollar cocktails), and acting like a total slut on any guy who rubs their gooch on your leg is an extroverted quality, so be it. Let the woman enjoy herself she’s just unwinding AMIRITE

It’s pretty true I have to agree, but there are definitely exceptions.

Ty

I know plenty of extroverts who aren’t club whores.

Yeah sorry about that, I didn’t mean to imply that every social female that clubs was a club whore. Just reinforcing Xin’s post saying I would not expect to seriously date someone so into the scene.

Pics of your friends

classify yourself however you want. House parties and getting to know one another for an entire night is different than watching someone act like a stripper for a few hours, buy them a drink, and bang in the alleyway.

I know plenty of extroverts who aren’t club whores.

For every extraverted woman I know, some loser or another would call them a slutty club whore.

Then again, for every gay person I know, some fucking moron would call them a faggot or a dyke.

So while I agree with you – that not all extraverts are "club whores", to borrow your misogynistic rhetoric momentarily (good job with that btw, very feminist of you ) – I don’t think I agree for the same reasons.

You probably won’t get what I’m saying because it’s counter to the world view you’ve set up, where girls whose moms let them wear makeup, or to flaunt their sexual natures, even in a healthy way, are all slores and whuts and buperficial sitches.

For every extraverted woman I know, some loser or another would call them a slutty club whore.

Then again, for every gay person I know, some fucking moron would call them a faggot or a dyke.

So while I agree with you – that not all extraverts are "club whores", to borrow your misogynistic rhetoric momentarily (good job with that btw, very feminist of you ) – I don’t think I agree for the same reasons.

You probably won’t get what I’m saying because it’s counter to the world view you’ve set up, where girls whose moms let them wear makeup, or to flaunt their sexual natures, even in a healthy way, are all slores and whuts and buperficial sitches.

Uh, my mom taught me how to be comfortable in my own skin, she didn’t train me how to use my looks for attention/special treatment. Yes, there are ways to flaunt your sexuality in a healthy way and I do that. I don’t walk around in flannel and turtle necks everywhere I go. There is a way to be healthy about your sexuality and a way to well, just look like a whore.

And the term club whore, doesn’t necessarily mean a girl is a slutty scene chick or well, a whore, it just means they like to whore out the clubs. Meaning they enjoy clubs… Guys can be club whores too without opening their legs but not ALL extroverted people are into that thing.

Uh, my mom taught me how to be comfortable in my own skin, she didn’t train me how to use my looks for attention/special treatment. Yes, there are ways to flaunt your sexuality in a healthy way and I do that. I don’t walk around in flannel and turtle necks everywhere I go. There is a way to be healthy about your sexuality and a way to well, just look like a whore.

And the term club whore, doesn’t necessarily mean a girl is a slutty scene chick or well, a whore, it just means they like to whore out the clubs. Meaning they enjoy clubs… Guys can be club whores too without opening their legs but not ALL extroverted people are into that thing.

How old are you?

I think this is the first time slang usage has changed in a way I’m not in touch with

Holy shit

Yeah sorry about that, I didn’t mean to imply that every social female that clubs was a club whore. Just reinforcing Xin’s post saying I would not expect to seriously date someone so into the scene.

Pics of your friends

I don’t really have close female friends.

And I don’t think that social females who are into clubs are club whores either. Meaning I don’t think they are all whores.. A few actually go to dance, not to just get drunk and get attention.

How old are you?

I think this is the first time slang usage has changed in a way I’m not in touch with

Holy shit

Almost 22.

Oh. That’s weird…

By your definition, somebody who goes to the mall a lot is a "mall whore."

Never heard that one.

Hi, I’m Manwhore. What’s your name?

Oh. That’s weird…

By your definition, somebody who goes to the mall a lot is a "mall whore."

Never heard that one.

I’m a cookie whore. I like cookies.

Srsly, people don’t have to be fucking to be classified as a whore. That’s what part of the problem is.. All these girls that run around looking like whores for attention, then get mad when ppl try to fuck them. They’re still whores – Attention whores

When I was kid, I used to think polar bears were snowmen with a lot of hair. I thought they were the coolest things in the world.

And I think elves are inside my computer. So what?

That’s a really cool way to look at polar bears
I’m a words-mean-something-whether-we-mean-them-to-or-not whore

Polar bears are cool, but I’ve always loved fishes. I used to watch them get eaten by the polar bears and the Penguins, I thought that was sad. I started to notice Penguins could swim, swimming birds, holy shit thats freaking cool.

Srsly, attention whores don’t always fuck around, so why should a club whore?

I don’t know who you know, but ASD and LMR don’t exist in my reality. Chodes do, but they are there just for my amusement.

MATT DAMON

Bro my Nimbus . . . . It’s so Ablaze.

matt damon

I’m going out tonight, there’s this new bar that opened by my place and theres this pizza place right near it. So I can extract to the pizza place then to my place.

I’m going out tonight, there’s this new bar that opened by my place and theres this pizza place right near it. So I can extract to the pizza place then to my place.

that is truly & deeply awesome…. I have done not one approach- well, maybe one approach, but not more than 5 approaches … in the last year.

fell in love, got tunnel vision for a while, fell off the wagon basically. you know the drill

i should def. get back into it though. passive game (if you can even call it game) ftl

where is bakalakadaka st. located? nyc?

that is truly & deeply awesome…. I have done not one approach- well, maybe one approach, but not more than 5 approaches … in the last year.

fell in love, got tunnel vision for a while, fell off the wagon basically. you know the drill

i should def. get back into it though. passive game (if you can even call it game) ftl

where is bakalakadaka st. located? nyc?

PM Sent.

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