so for the first time in a long time

i feel like completely giving up on everything

i’m completely capable of reaching my goals regarding education, work, hobbies, etc

but i just feel hollow inside. nothing really inspires me anymore. the only feeling that gives me any sort of drive is anger, but that’s only temporary.

the only reason i bother getting out of bed to go to work is because i know if i don’t, any chance of a future is completely gone. i feel like the only reason i do anything is because of the fear i’ll become a bigger failure

it’s partially relationship problems, but more than anything it’s myself
psychologists have tried with me and gotten nowhere. i can’t better myself if i don’t absolutely need to

there are certain people on here i’d prefer not seeing this, but whatever. at this point it makes no difference

i’ve gone through a pack of cigarettes in one day just to calm my anxiety even though i never smoke

i’ll probably delete this soon, i guess i just needed to tell someone
That sucks.

So what’s going on man? Have you felt this way for a while? What can we do to help?
why didn’t you come to me? you know i’d listen and talk to you about this what happened? would you please get on aim and talk to me?

you were there for me, shit you made me call you.. let me be there for you please?
tell us a little bit about your goals…I’d really like to hear them.
It really isn’t worth the time to discuss anything, Lani.

I think i’m too close to giving up to even consider any other options, rachel, so it’d be pointless to talk.

My goals are pretty typical of someone my age

I’m more than capable of getting my BS in Comp sci, but I keep putting off school for whatever reason I can find whether it’s time or money. I’ve even registered at an HCC, but haven’t looked into it any deeper.
I’ve been studying for my A+, CCNA, and Network+ and I’m confident that I would be able to pass both with decent scores.
With a little work and time, I could find something in the IT field to start out in, but I have an overwhelming feeling of contentment with my current job.
I want to go to see the Houston Symphony in two weeks for Mozart’s 4th Violin Concerto, but I keep putting that off as well. Either I don’t want to go alone, or it’s too expensive, or whatever.
I got a membership to a local gym in hopes that I would reignite my old passion for working out, but already I’m dreading going.
I finally manned up and registered for a MSF course which I’ve been wanting to do for a while, so that’s the only positive thing.

It’s just a bunch of things wrong with myself that I can’t seem to fix.

It’s pathetic how much I care about her.

I don’t know what triggered any of it to where it’s become this bad. I just feel hollow inside. It feels like a part of me has died, to be honest
what happened with her? would you get on aim and talk to me? i rather not talk to you like this

It really isn’t worth the time to discuss anything, Lani.

I think i’m too close to giving up to even consider any other options, rachel, so it’d be pointless to talk.

My goals are pretty typical of someone my age

I’m more than capable of getting my BS in Comp sci, but I keep putting off school for whatever reason I can find whether it’s time or money. I’ve even registered at an HCC, but haven’t looked into it any deeper.
I’ve been studying for my A+, CCNA, and Network+ and I’m confident that I would be able to pass both with decent scores.
With a little work and time, I could find something in the IT field to start out in, but I have an overwhelming feeling of contentment with my current job.
I want to go to see the Houston Symphony in two weeks for Mozart’s 4th Violin Concerto, but I keep putting that off as well. Either I don’t want to go alone, or it’s too expensive, or whatever.
I got a membership to a local gym in hopes that I would reignite my old passion for working out, but already I’m dreading going.
I finally manned up and registered for a MSF course which I’ve been wanting to do for a while, so that’s the only positive thing.

It’s just a bunch of things wrong with myself that I can’t seem to fix.

It’s pathetic how much I care about her.

I don’t know what triggered any of it to where it’s become this bad. I just feel hollow inside. It feels like a part of me has died, to be honest

is this about a girl?

you look like you know what you want to do but you just have to stop making excuses and act on it. don’t overthink it. I know when I overthink and overanalyze, I don’t do anything. That’s worse than trying and failing.

If you believe you can do it, then show yourself you can. prove it to yourself. let’s quit all the NATO (No Action Talk Only). you can do it man!!

It really isn’t worth the time to discuss anything, Lani.

I think i’m too close to giving up to even consider any other options, rachel, so it’d be pointless to talk.

My goals are pretty typical of someone my age

I’m more than capable of getting my BS in Comp sci, but I keep putting off school for whatever reason I can find whether it’s time or money. I’ve even registered at an HCC, but haven’t looked into it any deeper.
I’ve been studying for my A+, CCNA, and Network+ and I’m confident that I would be able to pass both with decent scores.
With a little work and time, I could find something in the IT field to start out in, but I have an overwhelming feeling of contentment with my current job.
I want to go to see the Houston Symphony in two weeks for Mozart’s 4th Violin Concerto, but I keep putting that off as well. Either I don’t want to go alone, or it’s too expensive, or whatever.
I got a membership to a local gym in hopes that I would reignite my old passion for working out, but already I’m dreading going.
I finally manned up and registered for a MSF course which I’ve been wanting to do for a while, so that’s the only positive thing.

It’s just a bunch of things wrong with myself that I can’t seem to fix.

It’s pathetic how much I care about her.

I don’t know what triggered any of it to where it’s become this bad. I just feel hollow inside. It feels like a part of me has died, to be honest

well… it’s there when you want to use it. to chat about anything. the big bad banking world or whatever you want.
now to make things worse, i have holes burned into my retinas from a laser pointer which will be permanent due to the scarring

so i fail at life, basically
For the love of God, I cannot tell you how much I hate you?

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