Had a a blow out with my father

Two days off, and I get caught up on the web till 6am. Fair enough but when he comes down knocking the door down and being rude it got to me. I asked him to repeat as he said it as he walked away.

Just got worse…for those who don’t know I’m bipiolar- ultraradian/mixed manic/flashbacks/psychotic.

Was I wrong following him outside shouting him down? It felt right but fuck him, I felt like grabbing a knife cutting him up then doing myself.

I se my shrink on Monday and he;s coming with me. I’ll give him that, at least he wants to try to understand me.

Two days off, and I get caught up on the web till 6am. Fair enough but when he comes down knocking the door down and being rude it got to me. I asked him to repeat as he said it as he walked away.

Just got worse…for those who don’t know I’m bipiolar- ultraradian/mixed manic/flashbacks/psychotic.

Was I wrong following him outside shouting him down? It felt right but fuck him, I felt like grabbing a knife cutting him up then doing myself.

I se my shrink on Monday and he;s coming with me. I’ll give him that, at least he wants to try to understand me.

wow those are pretty intense feelings just for your father being rude to you…. i would say yes you were wrong. you over reacted probably due to lack of sleep clouding your judgement. i would apologize to him especially since he seems to be involved in your life enough to go to the therapist with you. you should feel blessed to have such a dad.

An alchoholic abusive father who takes every turn tio turn your people against you?

32 years of abuse and any one here would stand for it? Ity wasn’t the odd spanking it was take my drunken bad days work out on you till you are black and blue.

There is so much more, the usual is a lot milder, abusive language etc and pushing about.

He is no loss to the world and has shown me today that even though he may go to the shrink with me he has already made his mind up.

He drinks every day to the pint of passing out, belittles my mother, would have attacked her if not for me and my brother being there.

you should feel blessed to have such a dad.

A drunk abusive parent?

The right to have a child may in some ways be seen as god given but the right of that child to be given a good home IS A RIGHT of the child.

HE is no loss to the world. Fuck him, he is making his point clear.

Yea you were wrong. So very, very wrong.

You say what Mr I have a nice famly and can’t relate?

wow those are pretty intense feelings just for your father being rude to you…. i would say yes you were wrong. you over reacted probably due to lack of sleep clouding your judgement

What you don’t get, what I said in the first post is I have an illness or two, one of which is only recognised by science a couple of years ago, I get flash backs 7-9 times an hour and tghat’s probably the best bit, without understanding I will end up killing my father for all he has done.

I asked to be locked up, he got pissed at that, got dsrunk and took it out on my brother. He is worthless, yar, I am too burt at least I c an end one life that cause so much pain to my mom.

Or do you think it’;s cool your dad beating on your mom?
I don’t know what to say. What a fubar situation. Good luck See your therapist, try it out, maybe you can overcome this stuff.

WTF 30+ years, though. Why the hell are you still living there
Please, look up ultradradian/mixedmania/psychosis/flashbacks/etc

Join them altogether. My brother nearly left after two days because of him last holiday.

I have a drug, the one an d only drug that works on me and when getting them in the UK it seems they don’ty do them. I was in a state. My father got angry, drunk, belittled me, made me feel like a whole lot worse.

He is scum.

I don’t know what to say. What a fubar situation. Good luck See your therapist, try it out, maybe you can overcome this stuff.

WTF 30+ years, though. Why the hell are you still living there

Trained as a chef, worked away at 21 – 25 but social phobia, paranoia, auditory and primary hallucinations, flashbacks, etc make it impossible to stick a job.

Always ended up in an altercation with the manager.

Bordered on some kind of assault.
Yes, you’re still wrong to follow him out shouting him down, despite all your justifications of how shitty a person he is. You’re feeding into a situation that’s already got you irate. The lack of sleep didn’t help much, I’d say
sorry to ask but are you really 33? your profile says 1975 ?
well dude, trust me ive been there.. a little background on me

alcoholic stepdad who was way too young to be my parent, had serious control and dominance issues.

when i was 10 he married my mom, i used his credit card to order some petty shit off the internet that totalled less than 80 dollars. i got the living shit beaten out of me (i was slipping in and out of conciousness) was verbally humiliated, degraded etc. on a semi daily basis for the better part of 5 years.
i would always justify that he was such a d-bag, i hated him etc. blah blah.

when i was about 16 i realized that yes, he was a really shitty father, a horrible role model, but alot of our fights at that point were because not only was he STILL punishing for what i had done 6 years ago, but i would just argue right back with him..

granted i STILL think its fucked up to come home to your 17 year old stepson obviously in a rage from a bad day at work, and literally walk around the house looking for something wrong so you can yell and punish your stepson.. i mean seriously, he would come in and YELL "im gonna bust your ass for something"

what did i do? go the fuck out of the house, went to college, made a life for myself. he is still a douchebag and yells at me and tries to make me feel guilty for having a life in college, the last time i went home he brought me outside and said

"your fucking up my life and your moms by not coming home. your tearing our family apart"

i just gave the said "i understand" to everything he said, drove away laughing and called my gf to tell her how much of a psycho he is

all that said you have to realize, that YOU make alot of the situations worse whether you want to justify it or not… he probably just came to check on you to see if you were ok, i mean shit it was 6 am, he obviously DOES care about you if he went to therapy and supported you… when i was in middle school my school MADE me go to therapy because all my teachers said i needed it bad… me and my mom went, after 2 sessions the therapist said "well, its obvious most of your issues stem from problems with your stepdad, we need to get him in to work through this" we went home, said "hey the therapist said you need to be involved in a group discussion" he said "im not going, theres nothing wrong with me, your just a fuck up and your trying to make me your problem"

I understand you’re new and all, but this is not the main forum. If you’re not going to be constructive, find yourself elsewhere.

We teach our kids a shit load of stuff, maybe not to go out to a 7/11 and blow away some dude but anger, the way to deal with a situation, etc..we teach our kids some ways to cope with life and some ways come back to us.

This guy has given me and my family grief over 32+ years. Should I not be aloud to be a bit pi9ssed off for the first time, have him on the back seat and enjoy it?

32. Unable to live by myself though for 3-4 years I tried.
[quote=deuceforty;98821385]

when i was about 16 i realized that yes, he was a really shitty father, a horrible role model, but alot of our fights at that point were because not only was he STILL punishing for what i had done 6 years ago, but i would just argue right back with him..

For not being as good a human being as him? A total benign situation here, but we have a stray dog that comes round, one time it’s don’t feed the dog in an an angry tone, the next he interrogates me why I didn’t feed it. He is full of indecisions which hurt the family, always have. He gts drunk most nights of the week pishes all over my mother and embarrasses anyone he sees beneath him. He is scum.

This isn’t about being wrong at 16 it’s about being right and having to play a subordinative role to fit in with society.

what did i do? go the fuck out of the house, went to college, made a life for myself. he is still a douchebag and yells at me and tries to make me feel guilty for having a life in college, the last time i went home he brought me outside and said

For me it’s not an issue but for my my brother it is, he near left from India to England after one day with him last he he was out, he is no father to me just a figure in the family but no head of any family. It may sound weird but after looking over my feelings I find if I lost him my only concerns would not be about grief.

"your fucking up my life and your moms by not coming home. your tearing our family apart"

i just gave the said "i understand" to everything he said, drove away laughing and called my gf to tell her how much of a psycho he is

Dude. I’m jealous, I wish I could walk away. but try this, 6-10 flash backs an hour, can’t leave the house due to social phobia, auditory and primary hallucinations, etc, etc… I can’t get away from his shit. I near took a screwdriver to him a few nights ago.

It might to be be great to get away from it for a while but try 14 years of the same damn shit. Put your head phones on, on a talk show, now try thinking of it sped 5x as fast and live that way with nothing but your own company for years.

There;s a whole lot more..

all that said you have to realize, that YOU make alot of the situations worse whether you want to justify it or not… he probably just came to check on you to see if you were ok,

No, he passes out from the booze at a certain time and comes to the door and hammers it. Even after what happened, he said he would show a little more respect and try to help…..does he fuck! He comes down in the morning’s and smacks the shit out of the door….BTW- IF back in the UK I would be in a Mental Ward not working for this cretin.

It’s true.

i mean shit it was 6 am, he obviously DOES care about you if he went to therapy and supported you…

Never once been to help me, talk about it and he walks out the room

An alchoholic abusive father who takes every turn tio turn your people against you?

32 years of abuse and any one here would stand for it? Ity wasn’t the odd spanking it was take my drunken bad days work out on you till you are black and blue.

There is so much more, the usual is a lot milder, abusive language etc and pushing about.

He is no loss to the world and has shown me today that even though he may go to the shrink with me he has already made his mind up.

He drinks every day to the pint of passing out, belittles my mother, would have attacked her if not for me and my brother being there.

A drunk abusive parent?

The right to have a child may in some ways be seen as god given but the right of that child to be given a good home IS A RIGHT of the child.

HE is no loss to the world. Fuck him, he is making his point clear.

You say what Mr I have a nice famly and can’t relate?

What you don’t get, what I said in the first post is I have an illness or two, one of which is only recognised by science a couple of years ago, I get flash backs 7-9 times an hour and tghat’s probably the best bit, without understanding I will end up killing my father for all he has done.

I asked to be locked up, he got pissed at that, got dsrunk and took it out on my brother. He is worthless, yar, I am too burt at least I c an end one life that cause so much pain to my mom.

Or do you think it’;s cool your dad beating on your mom?

my dad was an abusive drunken coke-addict rapist so no i dont think it was cool him beating on my mom but this thread is about you

maybe you should have explained the situation better in the first post? and you cant kill someone and blame it on an illness, especially when you are posting about it in here, that means it was premeditated

You’re an ’06, you should know better.
There is a lot of anger in your heart.

Your father and mother are with you for life.

It may break your brain to hear this, but you must learn to love your father.

After years of abuse, you must love him.

If someone hurts another person, that person should not hurt back in return.

The world would be full of hurt if it worked that way.

If your father hurts you, you must love him in return.

If he goes back and hits you when you love him and express your love for him, then love him more.

This is not to be taken out of context in a crazy way, rather a normal way. Love him by not getting up and yelling at him.

I mean you are up at 6 in the morning. I’m up past 9:26 and no sign of sleep in the last 24 hours, my father would be pissed if he knew it.

But anger coming out of my heart because he had a bad reaction to what time I stayed up until is not correct. It is wrong to yell at anyone.

It hurts you. You need to close the door to hate and open the door to love.

32 years. Let bygones be bygones. Shocking to hear? Let it. Why not let yourself have a miracle where you turn around and start loving the man, and he will not know what to do and cry, because he will not be able to comprehend why you still love him.

Love him. If he’s acting like a boy and hating, you act like a man and love him. Even if he is your father.

Anything else is an excuse from a poor part of the mind that I don’t even want to hear. Everyone is tired of everyone else’s psychological song, it’s time to start singing a new tune man.

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