because while i openly admit i am severely apathetic about just about everything, i don’t consider myself depressed. i mean, i appreciate everything i have, i am loved by my parents, and i love them. i have friends who care for me, but i don’t really talk to anybody, and usually put up a "wall". very, very few people get past this wall.

i would consider myself the "strong, silent type", but i can be "normal" once i know someone for long enough, or, on rare occasions, like the person right from the start.

when it comes to my future (school, career, or otherwise), i have no desire to work hard to achieve the things i know i can be. i’m very smart, pretty charming, and good looking, but when i think of my future, i don’t know where to begin, nor do i care enough to find out where to begin.

about girls, i want a girlfriend, but i have, for whatever reason, low self esteem. i don’t care enough about sex to want a girlfriend just for that, nor would i ever try too hook up with some random drunk chick; i respect women too much. its not sex i’m looking for, i just want to know im loved romantically. i realize this attitude makes me "the nice guy", which from what i’ve gathered is not a good thing.

i don’t really know what i’m doing with my life, and, at 23, i’m still living at home, which adds to the lack of self esteem, even though i know i am good looking, etc. i don’t know where to begin to fix myself, and fix whatever has become of my so called life. i don’t really care for most counseling.

this is mainly just a rant, but if anyone has any constructive advice or input whatsoever, it would be appreciated.

I’ve heard someone say: it really doesn’t matter how fucking smart you are if you aren’t willing to work you ass off your still a loser.

You know i can relate to you because i’ve experienced the same , i was like why would i ever do any effort? , its all seemingly so pointless. You grow up goto school, then you have to work your ass off for some house you have to pay off and then you die.

What you have is the life sucks then you die mentality. ALL WRONG. seriously.

The point is that at this moment your basically just stuck in a circle that you need to jump out.

There are only three directions in life, down where death lies, stay where you are and go in circles, or up where an improved life lies ahead, the first 2 are worthless and lead to nowhere, this is important because it means you can set the course of your life, to the only direction that is valuable ,namely upwards towards into progress. It doesn’t matter from there on wether you win or lose in life, you simply keep on following the positive course, that way you can ALWAYS be confident no matter what happens, because you know that going for gold in your life is the only right way to live.

But why why in Godsname would you do this effort if you already have everything you’d ever desired? Because standing still in life equals death. There’s nothing good about a life that’s the same each and every single day,why? because there’s nothing left out there for you to experience anymore. Growth is an experience, and improvement ,trying new things is a way to escape boredom the and pointlessnes of your life.

What you are doing is putting up a protective wall around you, you protect yourself from harm, but you see just putting up a wall isn’t good enough , You need to be like a castle gate closing yourself to bad people/things/events, and open yourself up to good people/things/events, if you block out positive events,people,things then you block yourself from experiencing life.

You have the idea that you know everything about what is out there,

I was the same, i thought i knew everything about what was out there in the world, but in reality i was just narrow minded. K , because knowing what is out there does not equal to experiencing that world.

My advice:

What you need to do is COMPLETELY living the opposite. And that can be hard because you always want to return to your protective little world. But what i learned the hard way from that that that was IMMATURE , its not the mature nor right thing to do to lock yourself away in a box from the world, living like a hermit = not good.

Where to begin = easy. It begins with yourself, kick yourself out of the house and experience the world , don’t be narrow minded like me. Open your mind ,let the world flow into you and forfill your soul. Go out and start your own company. Meet your wife, and start working to get your own house. Remember you do this for yourself, you work for yourself in this context , its an investment in you in order to become a mature individual who can make a robust stance in this world.

When you are 98 years old and are on the last day of your life , you look back to your life, then ask yourself what would you like to see? Your life as an achiever and making the most of it, or someone who did nothing with his life and just threw it in the garbage can by going around in circles. Or in other words make sure its a pretty picture you want to look back on.
If you try hard not to care then I’d say it’s just lazyness. If you happen to just not be aware then that is just ignorance on whatever level (bliss etc.) If you are not happy with your situation then change it. Self-esteem is just a firm belief in yourself. Most people don’t want to make the effort of believing in someone who doesn’t believe in themselves because they have enough on their own plates.
If you take care of YOURself, the rest will take care of ITself.

Focus on improving yourself on a DAILY basis and eventually, you might find what you are looking for. Even if you don’t find it, you’ll sleep better, feel better, and end up with much higher self esteem.

Every day, take care of your mental growth. If you aren’t learning, you’re dying.

Every day, take care of your entertainment. CONSTRUCTIVE entertainment that will leave with something when you’re done. Not video games or TV (although these are fine after you take care of yourself).

Every day, take care of your health. If you don’t do this, you won’t have the energy (or sometimes ability) to do the above. This includes exercise (even brief!), diet (not a nazi diet!), and hygiene (of you AND your living area).

Activity yields more activity. Inactivity yields more inactivity. Complacency is the enemy. Don’t believe me? Do this for a month and tell me you don’t feel better than you did before you started.
IMO your apathy is because you’ve never set a goal that was challenging and worked your ass off to achieve it. So you don’t know the feelings that come from overcoming obstacles. Since you don’t know how good these feelings can be, it’s reasonable for you to assume that "nothing will change" because it kind of defies logic.

This is how it went in my head for a long time, "Wait if I work hard, I’ll suffer and that will be bad, I don’t like suffering so I don’t want to work hard. Who wants to suffer anyways?" This totally ignores the awesome feelings that come from overcoming these challenges.

So it’s either that or you have tried and failed in the past. You have experience pain from that and you want to avoid that pain at all costs. So you’re desire to avoid pain is manifested by apathy.

I dunno, once I learned that I can overcome ANY obstacle, it was truly liberating. So I kept trying to find obstacles to test my problem solving abilities and they continued to work. Not always but I also learned how to tweak them to make them more efficient. I kept doing this and now I love to solve problems and find more efficient ways of doing things. I also found a company that would pay me to do this on a daily basis…..so it’s great fun.

Activity creates more activity. The satisfaction you get from accomplishing tasks can be addictive. Once you start going to bed at night after you accomplish your goals, that’s the way you always want to feel when you go to bed, so you look for more things to accomplish.

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