I’m 19, a virgin, generally a popular guy, very friendly with both guys and girls, but I really don’t give a shit about sex. The only reason I want to have sex is just to basically say "there, I did it." Whenever I get around to losing my virginity, am I going to turn into a sex fiend, or will I keep this mentality?
When you never had sex it seems like a big deal, once you had it you’d care even less about it then you do now. Sometimes unwanted things can pop up in your life pushing you to the max to do it, even if you don’t want to or are perfectly satisfied with your life. my advice don’t push yourself.

From what I remember of highschool (that’s just when most of the guys I knew lost their virginity or at least told everyone) they went sex crazy. It was almost laughable because they’d seem normal one day…then they got laid and turn massively horny. At 17 that was confusing.

At 19 I think you’ll be fine. If you don’t want to have sex then don’t have it until you are ready
Don’t let the pressure of society make you do something you feel you aren’t ready for, or haven’t found someone to do the deed with yet. Society is a very powerful thing, and it usually has negative effects on the mind when it comes to pressure and trying to mold ourselves into what we as a people define normal.

Keep doing what you’re doing and be glad you didn’t do what alot of people did when it comes to virginity - get drunk and have sex with someone they didn’t know, care about, or the like. You’ll feel much better knowing you did it with someone you truly cared for, instead of doing it to just ‘get it overwith’ aka finally be able to say to society "there I did it, am I normal now?". You are normal. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
if you don’t really have any other reason to have sex, then don’t. Have it when you want to.

im in the same boat lol. I never made a big deal about it and never gave into how our society sees things. It probably depends on how good your first time turns out being. I remember the first girl i hooked up with was an amazing kisser, and that made me want to hook up with every girl i knew, pretty soon i was back to normal lol.
It could be related to hormones or anxiety if you have no desire…

But like others have said, if you don’t want to do it, there is no reason to force it.
Annoys me how everyone keep telling him; "Wait until you’re ready".
Figure out why you don’t want to do it.

What is your best guess as to your lack of desire? Be honest too.

Why?

If he has no desire, why get on his ass about it man?

lol

He can go to the grave without having it if he truly doesn’t want it. Let him make his own path.

That’s not what i meant.

I think that the word ready would indicate that he is not mature or emotionally ready or something along those lines. Making it sound like he is a baby.
By all means, have it when you are ready, or don’t have it at all.

I would just make sure you were being honest with yourself about why you don’t want it or even the idea that you don’t want it.

i agree with matt

that’s not what he’s objecting to. "when you’re ready" vs "when you want to". reading comp.

in for response..

that is soooo weird. from what i remember everyone around me was highly sexual in thought if not in action as far back as childhood. every person i talk to has SOME kind of private or public interest from prepubescence that they harbored with a certain degree of passion, and that they began to think a LOT about starting around the age of 11-13.

have it when you feel like it
Cool user name, i’m assuming its from ‘Falling Down’. Excellent underrated flick.
Once you roll the first time.. it does change your mind a bit. Find someone you have some sort of caring for and it will take care of itself. I like giving in life.. and sex is a way of doing just that .
i waited until i was older too man, i just had too much shit on my plate, but after in elisted and spent some time around the world, your thoughts change. when the time is right, you will know and act, because it will all make sense, dont act until it feels right.
Don’t do it, until you have to. Be happy that you are in control of your thoughts.. once you have sex another thought process is then created.. one that causes questionable actions.

im 23, a virgin, good looking, low confidence, and don’t give a crap about sex either. is something wrong with me?
i dont think so, you can say that there is something wrong with people that crave it lol. I think its just that if you have never experienced it, you have no desire for it. sorta like what saiaba said

yes

Yes something is wrong, if you had a decent level of confidence that would be one thing. But more likely than not your lack of concern for sex is because of your low self esteem.

This is just an excuse so that you don’t have to put up with the effort and work that it takes to change yourself into someone who could get sex. Stop lying to yourself.

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