Is it true if you have financial security, it’ll be able get almost any woman you want? I know a few friends that are financially stable(they drive a 07 911 Porsche) and yet they can’t find a date to save their life.

I also know a few people(that drive a 88 Oldsmobile) that are not so financial stable, but yet they can get any woman they desire w/ a snap of a finger.

Is this possible?
Money can’t buy charm. Sometimes it can enhance a sense of confidence, but it’s nothing by itself.

How did each person pay for their car? If the Porshe owner bought the car but went into debit doing so and the Oldsmobile owner was financially secure i.e no debit, bills paid on time etc then I would be more attracted to the Oldsmobile owner.

Your missing the point, I said Porsche owner is financially stable. He has his own home and a steady job(well not steady in term’s of today’s market since anyone can get layoff). He could pay off his car if he wants to, but thats not a good financial decision. I know several other people that are also financially stable as well, but they can’t get a date. I myself have trouble dating, but i’m not rich as these people nor am I poor like the oldsmobile owner.

Oldsmobile owner barely has enough to pay rent. Believe it or not some of the females that he knows are rich(their dads) and he ask them to pay for his bills.
no money isn’t everything to some people, beleive it or not.
women are probably way more attracted to a rich man imo
succes and stuff

ummm… wat?

It is your confidence and bearing that will attract a woman. Physical attraction is biological, and instinctive. There’s very little if any thought that goes into it.

Women instinctively want a man who can protect and care for them. The puerile retard driving the expensive car, waving wads of cash around, doesn’t project a sense of security. Meanwhile, the guy driving the old car, but who’s confident and assured, does.

Women will often marry for money, but that’s because they see the money as the means to their happiness. Those women aren’t usually attracted to the person, they just make a conscious choice to go with the person anyways for the money. For that very reason, they will likely cheat/divorce.

So mom raised you to think you were the king and deserved everything? Welcome to the real world where feelings and honest emotion will get you laid, not the value of your car(it will but somehow you arent getting laid).
A financially secure man is still competing against other men that are of similar status

Thats what I’m trying to figure out. I always hear from women that one of their requirements in finding a mate is that they must be able to provide financially. Yet I know people who do have their finances straight, but they can’t find any date at all.

These people are not the type to wave cash around or brag about it in anyway. He bought a Porsche because he wants to drive it for fun and for the weekends and summertime, women was not the objective for buying the car. He has other cars, which is more than what most people can afford for daily use. He has these cars because he is able to afford it just like were able to afford a $5 meal everyday.

Dont change the meaning of the post out of context and reread my post, I did not say anything about being a King. I’m just asking what I observed among my rich and poor friends. I’m somewhere in the middle and I do have trouble dating as well.

It’s one of the requirements. Not a primary one, and not the only one.

So his Porsche is an extension of his personality and his personality sounds, quite frankly, dull. In which case its not surprising that not many people want to date him, because excitement matters.

guys seem to get these things confused. i can’t speak for all women here, but i personally (and most women i know) would agree that they want a mate who is responsible, both financially and otherwise, and not lazy. for example, i’d rather be with a man who is ambitious and active, but a little down on his luck financially (not able to find a job, got screwed over, etc) than a millionaire who had won the lottery or inherited all his money who sits on the couch all day and is constantly trying to get other people to pay for his things.

plus, the financial thing doesn’t play into dating for me all that much. sure, when you marry someone you need to think about that sort of thing, such as providing for the family when you have kids or whatever. but, when i first meet someone, i almost never notice anything about their financial status.

Actually I mentioned before that the guy(poor friend) that owns the Oldsmobile is dirt poor and lazy and yet he’s always surrounded with women and is able to get them to pay for majority of his bills. This is something I don’t get either.

is he really charming?
No. You cannot "get almost any woman you want" with financial security alone.

Yes. It is possible to be attractive without being financially stable.

Is this something that’s even remotely difficult to see? Seems obvious to me, and yet here you are asking these questions…

He’s a nice person, but I honestly cannot tell if someone is charming. Probably because I myself is not charming and its not like you can learn this. The way I see it, its either your born charming or not.

you’d be wrong

If your talking about being charming, then yes I hope I’m very wrong.
Don’t have to be a balla, but when I dated (and then married) financial management, and future earning potential were important parts of my decision. I am not going to dedicate my life to someone that is going to bring down my quality of living. Certainly not the only thing, but anyone that wants to say things like that dont matter is either a liar or fool

You can learn. It takes a LOT of time.

As for your friend and his Porsche, that’s fine if he bought it for fun and for himself. But the point is that you can have all the money in the world, but realistically women won’t be crawling at your feet unless you have some semblance of how to charm and be interesting. Sometimes people with money learn how to make it work to their advantage, but it’s not like the money comes and the ladies drop into your lap.

I think time is something I don’t have. I’m 27 yrs old now and as I grow older it gets harder to learn.

charm follows from confidence

are you female?

dude wtf. if i see one more person say another Cosmo magazine cliche about how to get laid, like it’s useful advice, i’m gonna go down to texas and hack OT’s servers to pieces with a golden axe.

what you said is also true in the reverse.

confidence follows charm.

the charm gets you laid, the getting laid gets you confidence.

getting laid follows confidence. confidence also follows having sex. notice the "when it rains, it pours" effect, ever? yeah.

NONE OF WHICH IS REMOTELY USEFUL.

there should be a sticky. don’t say "it just takes confidence" in regards to women, or you will be permabanned and men will come to your house in black clothing to destroy your computer monitor. with, again, a golden axe.

confidence is an EMOTION. it’s a FEELING. this is like telling somebody who’s mad not to be mad. or telling somebody who finds you funny not to find you funny.

i’m sorry, folks, but is there some SWITCH in your head that you guys can all just FLIP which magically changes your emotional state?

*flip* -> happy
*flip* -> sad
*flip* -> confident

because I’m pretty sure I don’t have one and I’m pretty sure the OP doesn’t have one.

STOP SAYING USELESS ADVICE ABOUT WOMEN. the most it can possibly do is frustrate the OP (and anyone else who has to see it repeated 1000000000x in every thread).
That said, I’m gonna have to agree with Ameter.

To be good with women, all you have to do is be good with women.

Problem solved.
OP, financial security helps, but lack of financial security does not limit your options if you don’t mind investing the time into your game.

I’m not sure what that other guy meant when he ssaid it takes time. If he meant it takes a long time, then I disagree. You can do it as fast as you want. It DOES however take a time commitment.

show me someone who has charm who doesn’t have confidence, and I’ll eat my words

That’s not his point. His point is that you are using a result as a cause of another result. A sports analogy would be, "If you want to win the game, you need to score more points."

ummm… so your analogy agrees with me, that one leads to the other? I don’t get your point then.

He had no point. He wanted to be pedantic and argumentative. Fact of the matter is, confidence is the root of most things, charm being one of them
Money can buy only tabngible, meaningless items. It doesn’t buy love, respect or common sense.

My point was exactly the one you just made, you can’t just flip a switch. But if you’re willing to invest some serious effort into honing in your game, charm, confidence, etc. you can definitely pick it up.

Confidence and other positive personality attributes are intertwined.

JJJ saw, "confidence begets charm," as, "be confident," which is like telling people to score more if they want to win the game.

He wasn’t as much arguing with you as going on a rant against everything… at least as far as I can tell. But I’m often wrong.
If a woman is only dating you because you own a nice car, then you don’t want to date her. She’s most likey a gold digging whore and will leave you as soon as she finds someone with more money, or who willl spend more of it on her. Ironically, it’s these same women that are usually driving a 1981 camry that is beat to death and has enough crap packed inside to be mistaken for a dumpster.

since the last post didn’t take, let me put my point into a single sentence.

"what you’ve said in this thread is both TRUE and UNUSABLE."

so, yes, I agree with what you said, but I disagree with your choice to say it.

if you had said, "OP, 4 + 4 = 8," that would have been TRUE as well, but it wouldn’t have been remotely useful for the thread starter. just like how what you said about confidence & charm going hand in hand is TRUE, but not remotely useful for the thread starter.

His stance is that confidence & charm go hand in hand.

I wasn’t disagreeing with the truth value of his statement.

I was pointing out that the productivity value of his statement was 0.

NO productivity.

And then, yeah, I went on a general rant about how often I see people coming into threads just like this one, and saying things that are, yes, TRUE, but completely and utterly fucking useless.

it was far more usable than your statement, which essentially said nothing, and gave him nowhere to start in trying to gain some charm

meanwhile, my statement told him, if he wants to have charm, he needs to get confidence first

No. My statement said that, if he wants to have charm, he needs to become confident

OHHHHHHH okay. I didn’t get that the first time around. Thanks bro

So fucking useless. As someone else pointed out, "confidence" is another way of saying "skill with women."

To have skill with women, you, by definition, need confidence.

To win a game, you, by definition, need the most points.

Saying "become confident" in regards to women is the same as saying "get points" in regards to sports…. and the response is the same in both cases.

"NO SHIT."

Now tell me something we don’t ALL ALREADY KNOW. Something that isn’t TAUTOLOGICALLY TRUE. Do you know what a tautology is? Probably not. It’s when something is circularly true. For example, "that animal is a dog because it is a canine." Or, "to win a game get a lot of points." Or, "to be good with women, just become confident!"

I am simply astonished that people repeatedly offer truisms - and not even truisms, but THIS ONE truism over and over and over - as if they are adding information. You don’t know what a truism is? A truism is something that has to be true, that in no situation could ever be false, and thus adds no meaning to a conversation: "During daytime, the sun is up." "’Red’ is the term for something that has the color red." "Women like confidence."

Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr?

Really? So you’re saying that in order to make 4 million dollars, all I have to do is get 1 new dollar, 4 million times?

confidence != skill with women. Confidence has fuck all to do with women
There are two choices. Either you are talking about confidence in yourself with regards to women (which is simply the redefinition of how to be good with women), or you are talking about confidence in yourself with regards to other shit.

Confidence in yourself with regards to other shit, as you say, has NO bearing on how well you do with women. If you’re really confident in yourself regarding your physique, your intellect, and your finances, you can STILL find yourself fucking your hand at night because, like you said, that has fuck all to do with lady skillz.

So either you are talking about a tautology (being good with women requires confidence with women) or you are asserting a falsehood (being good with women requires confidence with non-women-related issues).

Here’s a clue. To be good with women, like being good at anything else in life, go out and PRACTICE. The field is your laboratory. Experiment and profit. That means doing approaches and getting used to the process.

I’ll reiterate. He said he hoped that charm was something that you can learn. I said yes, it follows from confidence. And no, I did not mean confidence with women, I meant confidence, period.

Agree to disagree

I was very confident in myself in all areas except for women, and that meant I was unhappy with girls for a long time.

Women are a skillset. You can learn it with practice. That’s it.
I don’t know the answer to this, but I can say that my lack of financial security has made me just not even care to date women.

I agree with you. I have confidence in a lot of areas, some of them actually open up women to wanting to come and talk to me (my ability to dance) but I still have a tendency of shying away from women because I know there brick walls i’ll run into. im not charming

Ameter is talking straight out of his ass. He has not offered a single piece of concrete advice in this thread. Everything is just truism after truism.

Let me be very specific so this doesn’t fly past him.

BY DEFINITION if you have general confidence (which includes confidence regarding women) you’re good with ladiez.

Ameter seems utterly incapable of comprehending "TRUE yet simultaneously USELESS."

What you’re saying doesn’t have to be incorrect in order to be inane . . .

what you don’t seem to understand is, ‘learn how to be charming’ is a very vague and seemingly impossible goal, whereas ‘learn how to be confident’ isn’t

do tell

Same here I’m confident in all other areas, except for women. When it comes to women I have no clue what to do.

I also observed other people that are not confident in other things like fiances, looks, sports, etc, and yet when it comes to women they are a expert(at least in my point of view).

that’s because confidence in other areas of life has no correlation whatsoever to success with women. it just doesn’t work that way. interpersonal confidence produces results for your interpersonal goals. intellectual confidence produces results for your intellectual goals. grouping all the various kinds of confidence together and calling it "confidence in yourself" doesn’t change any of this.

I disagree with this. Charm is something I learned over time by practicing.
being rich helps, but only if you can find a socially savvy segue into the discussion.
financial security is nice but it’s not the only thing women look for… guys we go thru a whole spectrum of what we want in a partner
what i want to know is…do guys really want to be the financial supporter? or would they rather women do their own thing?

given that the world’s population is 6.6 billion, or 300 million in America alone, you can easily find two men here who are nearly identical in every significant way, and who are both compatible with you, except that one likes to be the supporter and the other likes an independent woman. the answer to your question is, "it depends on the kind of guy you want."

asta, thats very true and the same goes for women…some want to be taken care of and given everything and some want to be independent. Now if only the right guys could hook up with the right girls, lol!
of course not. women don’t think like that. i own my own home, drive a nice car, and am about to open a restaurant, but chicks would rather go for my jobless, broke, carless roommate. when it comes to girls i’ve been way more successful than him, but only because he doesn’t try. head to head he always gets the better of me. i’m just glad he’s not an oter, otherwise i’d have a homo av for months

It really depends on the specific woman…

But in general, I don’t want to start a family and have kids, so I would expect her to work and for us to share financial responsibility.

No amount of money turns a pussy into a prince.

In terms of marriage, I definitely do not want someone that will sit in the couch all day watching oprah. She must be educated and have some type of work ethics as well.
Financial stability becomes more important for women who are older and ready for marriage especially if they are established themselves. They think more about how finances will effect the relationship in the long run.

Having money may help attract..but your looks, chemistry, and personality are also major factors for many women. Remember that although having the ability to attract women is important…money isn’t going to keep them around in the long run.
In the past financial security was big for women, but now since women have entered the labor force in large numbers it is no longer as important.

What still stands though is if a guy has no income, he is considered a loser. If a woman has no income, just means she needs to merry a man.

For a man, as long as you have a decent job, you will be fine. Only a very tiny percent of the population has boat loads of money.

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