Here is the deal, I’m 23 and still a virgin. I’m shy when it comes to girls. I’m a low key person. I have a hard time meeting girls, the only time i try to pick up girls is in college and with my luck usually have boyfriends (read my previous post) I don’t like going out to clubs because the music is too loud, and I have a low voice so I usually have to repeat things I say and I don’t like the atmosphere. I’m not ugly, I always get looks from girls and even guys . My main problem is I just don’t know what to say, or I don’t know how to continue a conversion once i ask all the basic questions like where " Likes dislikes, where your from, how old are you, work.etc). If I do get to know someone well enough I Always become just a friend. In a previous post I made someone said don’t act needy. I try not to but I always do because I just want to meet someone and have a relationship or at least have a one night stand. I also have a problem of getting emotionally attached even though It hasn’t gotten that far yet. For instance I meet some girl and shows some interest in me and we get to know each other ,I imagine all these things in my mind just like thislol. I wish I can just play it cool and play it smooth like most my friends do. I have another friend who is like me and is frustrated like me but he has had 2 girlfriends in the past He just has a problem keeping a relationship going but thats another story. I keep thinking if I lose my virginity I will change and won’t feel as pressured all the time and have a easier time meeting girls. So My main question is Did Losing your virginity change you in a way that made you more relaxed around women and make it easier to talk to or does it make the way you were more so.

Here’s how it works…

You see a girl you think is cute…

Before you have time to think about what you might want to say to her, just walk up and say "hi"

Then wait for her to say something…

Just let it come out naturally.

Don’t think about it at all.

The more you do, the more you screw yourself.

When the two of you run out of things to talk about, just say hey, "I’ve got to go do…. (insert: whatever it was you were on your way to dowere doing before you stopped to talk to her say your good byes, maybe get a number, and move on.

One opener I’ve always found to work out really well.

Walk up to a girl, and say flat out "Are you single?"

She will either answer,

Yes. (She’s interested in you)

Carry on conversation.

No.

Which means either

A) She might be single, and not interested
B) She’s really not single
or
C) She’s playing hard to get.

So you either move on, or…

You say

"Well I think you should hang out with me instead"

Her reaction… WOW! This guy has a ton of confidence, and is very bold.

And will pretty much diffuse options A and C.

Or she really is in a relationship.

Having this conversation with a woman establishes that:

A) You are interested in them sexually.

B) You are a confident male.

Both of which will keep you out of the friends zone.

and

C) Minimize the feeling of rejection.

Good luck have fun.

This strategy works almost every time.

And believe me. When it comes to women. You need strategy.

I also recommend checking out this site.

There is a lot of good stuff on there, and a lot of cheesy stuff on there.

Use at your own risk.
I lost it at 13, so I was too young to know the difference, lol.
The act of losing your virginity doesnt change you, but your first serious relationship with a member of the opposite gender probably will. As cliche as this sounds, it kinda seems like you are just trying to hard and trying to jump ahead too many steps at once.

Just take it a little bit at a time, talk to girls, make friends, dont try to think about marrying a girl the first time you meet them honostly. Just be yourself.
Your virginity only matters until it’s gone….then you’ll wonder why you waited so long.

Did it change me? Yes and no. Yes because it made me hornier and I didn’t think it was possible. No because I didn’t automatically become some sex freak….I was one long before I had sex.

I agree.

To add to that, I’ve always had the mentality that sex wasn’t a big deal and it was a natural thing so it didn’t change me. I’m also atheist which might have contributed to this reaction. I know in some religions sex can be important.
I lost it young and I even remember thinking to myself "am I different now!?" because everyone always used to say you change…but no, I was no different. Sure, I had a higher sex drive but at that age it didn’t make a big difference at all.

However, you being 23 and a virgin is a whole different story IMO. Losing your virginity could most deifnitely change the way you view sex, women, etc. etc.

You simply can NOT leave it with here. You must explain your comment.

Ok so you don’t have to but I want to hear how his age has any bearing on this.

Well it’s more just my opinion…but I think in general a guy of 23 has already had much more time to see the world and go through things as opposed to say a 16 year old kid who gets laid randomly in high school. By 23 society has already pushed on him that he should have gotten laid by now and so there’s all this pressure on him, more pressure than even an 18 year old guy. He’s had more years to build up in his head what sex will be like. He’s had more years in which to recognize how he talks to, interacts with, deals with women. He’s never had a real sexual relationship with a woman which means once he does he has a lot more to learn about a real adult relationship with it [sex]. Most 17 year old boys who get sex and have sex continually through the years by 23 have most likely had at least one semi-serious relationship.

In other words, I think a 23 year old guy having sex has a lot more to learn than someone who had it at a younger age; but that’s just my opinion

I can see that. But there’s nothing wrong with late bloomers….plenty of people start out slow then pick up speed quickly. Sure he’s got a lot to learn but that can also be charming to a lot of women.

IMO it’s much worse to dwell on age and keep from doing it now because it will only get worse the older he gets. Might as well knock it out and move on lest he become the 40 year old virgin.
Losing my virginity didn’t really change me as a person, it just made me want a relationship.

I never said there was anything wrong with it; just pointing out that I do think there is a difference between a 16, 23, 30, 35 etc. year old virgin.

I agree he shouldn’t dwell on it, age is just a number, but he has to at least know his whole world won’t change the second his penis enters a vagina, he’ll just have a bit to learn about sex in general and sex in relationships from that pint on.
It didn’t change anything. I was just happy for a couple of days

Yeah I agree…guess I just didn’t say it well in my last post.

Yep….but if he’s anything like me, and it doesn’t sound like he is, he’ll have had a lot of practice doing the five-knuckle-shuffle.
my friend just lost his virginity (actually he posts on here) he said he felt exactly the same so i highly doubt it changes anything but thats just me
I don’t think losing my virginity changed me. I was 19 and was (still am) in a serious relationship with the guy. I’m very glad I waited because I remember it as something special, not just some person I saw one night at the bar. In my opinion, losing the virginity is not going to make you any better at picking up girls, that just takes practice.
Im getting to the point where i can’ look a couples and can’t watch any scenes in a movie where people make out or i start to feel depressed and may start crying. I can’t even watch porn with out tearing up. I feel like there is something wrong with me.

There is nothing wrong with you. It will happen when the time is right. Try to be more confident around girls like others have said and one thing will lead to another…

.

Hopefully it won’t leave you bitter afterwards.

i dont think the actual act of having sex would change you. i mean you might like it so much you become a nympho and try to have it as much as possible but other than that…

probably depends more on what you let sex mean to you. if you fall in love and have sex with that person for the first time you might relate sex to love. if you get a hooker and lose your virginity to her you might not place as much value on sex.
look at it this way. You’re probably 100% clean from all STD’s and diseases of that kind. So enjoy that part and maybe, just maybe it will be enough to realize you’ve been smart about things and will keep you from losing it to just anybody.

For me, I lost it to a g/f but she turned out to be a slut. The sex really wasn’t that great. But of course this was because she was just laying down on the floor with my parents in the other room. We weren’t naked, couldn’t be loud and I just pretty much got off and that was it. So while I did lose it, I had that image of sex not being a huge deal. For awhile until I realized the reason it wasn’t much fun was because of the circumstances around it.

But losing it to her at that time told me a lot. And instead of going on wondering how great it might be, I learned something and this kept me from making other stupid mistakes.
I personally think when you lose it you will get ALOT more confidence in general with the way you handle yourself.

This may not be true at 16, 17, 18 and not so much for women, but for a guy at 23, having sex for the first time is really going to change things for you.

You won’t become "different" or change but I think you will gain alot of confidence after its out of the way.

sounds like your making a big deal of it.

for me I find i meat more girls when I’m not trying.

nothing will change. just becasue the girl you lost your virginity liked you doesn’t mean anyone else will

My buddy didn’t lose his virginity until he was 26. Trust me, this guy is the guy girls walk up to at bars. He wasn’t afraid per se, just a late bloomer. He didn’t really know how to bond with people, and was detached emotionally. It took time for him to find his way. I was there the whole time, so I helped support him. Once he found his way, he was getting laid left and right. Being a virgin doesn’t say anything about your character.

What I find useful is thinking out some general ideas before I even go out, or I get a basic routine going. All this does is provide me enough flexible ideas to go off before things smooth out and the conversation carries itself.

Talk about yourself, then pause, see how women respond to your character and your personality. If they like you, they’ll show it by not leaving the conversation, by not dragging others into the conversation, and by talking back! They’ll also look you in the eye! It’s easy once you know what to look for and are able to cover a few broad topics.

Pay a hooker if you’re just looking to use someone. You have to show respect, even while attracting women, otherwise you lose yourself to the wrong reasons of being around or with women.

One of the big keys to women is to focus on yourself. Your interests should come first. And not to mention, but what the hell does "she" have to offer you? See, we already know you’re valuable and a good guy, but we don’t even know any of these girls you’re meeting, and you don’t either! So find out!

Try too hard and you’ll continue to be unhappy. You’re attractive, right? She’s attractive? Well I assume you’re meeting attractive women, but who is she? What does she do for work, what does she care about? What are her passions, goals, strengths? Ask her about her, and in return, talk about you. What do you love in life? Women like mystery, wonder, — they’re like little detectives, and they enjoy figuring things out, but you have to give them "some" respectable information to start. Dangle your string (No pun intended) so the cat will get interested and try to chase it!

Also, don’t worry about what the world is doing. This is your personal business. Intimacy, sex, relationships — it’s all about you.

It will change you. You might have an easier time because you’ve alleviated some pressure. Just make sure you’re maintain your self-respect in the process. Figure out what you want, and act in accordance with that, not what you think others want.

No I’m still tense around most women, but yes it did change me. Sure I get laid a lot, but it’s still a process that requires skill and effort. I can make it look easy, but I have a gift for talking. My mouth can move even when my brain is locked up.

Expect to feel like you did before. You may have no problem with that one girl after having sex with her, but every other one is a whole new start. So you can see where it all begins again.

If you remember anything from what I say, remember this. You attract what you are. So figure out you, and you’ll know how to do the rest with women.
I didn’t read all the thread, but my .02.

If you’re in it just to get pussy, be fake. If you want a hot bitch, you just have to act cocky and confidently in your self. Remember you have nothing to lose when you’re out trying to get girls. If you get denied, it seems like a loss but at least you tried. The more you try, the easier it will become to talk to girls like it’s nothing. Don’t make it obvious that you’re interested in them. If you act like you want them up front, they won’t want you. If you act like you could live without them (which you can), they’ll be more intested in you.

As far as your question goes, yes losing my virginity changed me mainly because it was with someone I didn’t care about. It makes me wish I was still a virgin.
Sounds to me like you’re going about meeting the girls the wrong way. I’m not much of a club person either, since most girls I’ve met at clubs are fake-ass dumb bitches and not girlfriend material.

If you really wanna meet girls that you can have a relationship with, I’d advise you to get involve in different clubs/organizations around campus. If you like reading, join a book club, etc. The girls you meet there for the most part are smarter, more mature, and more worth your time.

Now once you meet a girl you’re interested in, now you have to not get friendzoned. I find this usually happens because a guy waits too long to express any sort of feelings for the girl. There is a small window of time that is easy to miss, but if you ask a girl out or tell her you like her in that window, you can avoid the friendzone completely.
hey,i was 16 when i lost it and i dont think i was emotionally ready to lose it that young, i think it changed my mind and how i looked at life and viewed life but that is just me. it prob varies from person to person.
I lost it around your age and yet I still feel like a virgin.
I am 26 now.. I lost it when I was 21, I have been with 5 girls three in that first year.

It changed me, things that weren’t ever on my mind before were now on my mind. I went from an innocent happy go lucky guy, to the complete opposite.. the only reason I haven’t been with more women is i have a conscience, and I try not to hook up with someone unless I see some kind of a future with them beyond the next three months.

I wish I had waited longer. And my first was definitely not worth my V, I just felt like I was in love back then.
I lost my virginity when I was 18 to my then-girlfriend. The first time and sex thereafter was awful. It ruined sex for me for… 6 months, give or take.

I finally got rid of her and, in my 1st week of universtiy, I got a FB. She made me love sex all over again and that love has stayed strong ever since!

OT: A few months into university my ex-gf heard about my sexual exploits from shared-friends and wanted to be my FB too. I told her the truth, that having any kind of sexual relationship with her would be a backwards step.
I don’t think it really changed me. The opposite, in fact.

I think I changed, which caused it to happen.

I met the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. Suddenly it was something I wanted to do as opposed to something I’d had no interest in my entire life.

So it goes.

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