Im thinking too much

28 August, 2008

Okay, resorting to OT for the first time with some advice.

I’ve been feeling lonely and depressed lately and it’s nothing really new — I have a great idea of what I could do but I feel a little limited too. I have no group of friends. No girlfriend. I don’t even know where to start, man.

I’m going to college very soon; starting summer sessions so I’ll be real busy studying and I have a part-time job too.

I mean work life is alright but its just not the best place to make friends. While summer vacation has started - I’m taking all sessions so I can catch up for the new season. While most people are out of college partying up or with the free time they will have — I’m stuck studying!

I’m sorry, I finally came to a point where now I have time to think a little more and feeling socially deprived. What kept me from feeling like this is my dad, my dog and my job; which I’ve took the year off to save enough money for school. I just feel damn lost now and im afraid this will affect my studies and everything probably.

Someone cheer me up here
You absolutely have to get yourself out there.

The good new is your in College, one of the best place to make this happen.

Join any sort of club, sport, frat, organization, or interest group you can find that appeals to you, and just start socializing and interacting.

If you want to study, THEN SET UP….A GREAT WAY TO MEET NEW PEOPLE…

Sigh..I will try to take my own advice in September when I go back to University, good luck to you!
As far as school goes, it applies to most things, just get the hard stuff (classwork, financial aid, etc.) out of the way and you’ll have plenty of time for personal time afterwards. My cousin and his friends traveled across the pond nearly once a year because they did this.

As far as being socially deprived, I understand completely what you mean. I’m without friends and generally don’t have anyone to speak to on a deeper level than simple small talk and banter. However, for me, I’ve become conditioned to it, so I am comfortable in it now.

I would suggest going out and doing the things you enjoy (golf, cruising through towns/street on a bike, sporting events, etc. - ANYTHING); social interaction comes automatically when doing such things. When I used to skydive regularly (I still do it when I can), I found that you have your normal friends and then your skydive friends; they seem to travel in a pack, much like any other group (i.e. biking/running enthusiasts for example).

Making and maintaining friends is a fulltime job, an exhaustive task. However, this is my own personal cynical view of things, so this will hardly help you.

I am glad you’re not limiting yourself to the workplace to make friends; it can be quite conflicting combining your professional and personal life. You said you are trying to catch up for the new season, that has its own pros and cons. On one hand, you’re getting through school quicker than others (may as well accomplish an arduous task rather than holding out on it), but then again, missing out on a social aspect of things. Find what is important to you and zone in on it and get things done. I find school to be one of the things that I particularly do not enjoy, but I know it has got to be done, so I just sack it up and get what I need to be done.

This was long winded, so that for I apologize, and I am not sure of how much help I was, but if you feel this will negatively impact nearly every aspect of your life, get out there! You’ve got to do your own thing and the social part will follow.
Thanks for the responses! I appreciate it!

I feel better now just after taking a nap — I finally opened my eyes. I have a supportive family, a good job and an education. I was reeking of doubt, I felt like I was weak but what is the sense of thinking all that shit!?

I’ve grown up a lot, dont get me wrong. I’ve become a great listener, I’ve got a lot smarter and more alert. Even though I have no friends, now its the time to get back on my feet and start making new ones instead. When I walk to my work, I’ll have a fake smile being positive as possible. Though if it hurt, I will be as energetic and brave while I’m at that seat learning and seeing new people. I feel pretty weak now but I will fight it though patiently and learn.

God I feel damn good about this.

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