i think my younger brother and i have a really strange and messed up relationship
i was kind of unhappy a lot as a child (i have really intense mood swings) and a lot of the time i would take it out on him, under the reasoning that he was being annoying
and we’ve gotten along a lot better in the past few years since i left the house to go to college (and he.. grew up and became less annoying)

last night we were just messing around, wrestling, and he completely owned me, i mean laid me out flat on my back

and i was so pissed
i got up and tried to get him back, and in the ensuing scuffling, we ended up going through a glass window, giving him a huge gash on his arm

and i’m afraid i may have finally crossed a line and he will actually be long-term upset with me (if he isn’t already from all the years of my bullshit)

this isn’t making a lot of sense right now, but i need to get it out, does anyone have any advice?

i mean, i just don’t know how to talk to him
My advice: ‘ refrain from even touching eachother. ‘

You are taking out your bad mood swings onto him, your brother isn’t responsible for your mood swings. You need to goto to the root of your problems and solve those instead.You see your mood swings and your brother as two seperate things. Your mood swings come from a different source and therefore its pointless to take out this frustration onto your brother because he hasn’t got a solution for it. These mood swings have to be dealt with a theraphist/counceller, and a good relationship is formed by doing nice things with eachother, not going to the point were you throw him thru the glass windows just to get even with him. Take my advice: Apologize to your brother, invite him to a nice place sometime, and stop taking out your frustration on him. Get a theraphist to talk about and deal with your mood swings.
yep, agreed, apologize as soon as possible, earnestly and honestly.

and make sure there isnt a "im sorry, but i wouldnt have done what i did if you hadnt done what you did", kind of switcharoo of the blame. offer apology for your part, and bring nothing of what angered you to the table.

if apology is required from your brother for some action, let him give apology for his part on his own, dont try to drag it out of him, "because you deserve it".

certainly wish you the best of luck, because nothing is more important than family.

very good advice, obviously my own issues need to be dealt with just as a general principle.

note though that this most recent incident wasn’t in the same vein as earlier times. i was not "taking my frustration out on him" (at least, at the onset, i guess in the specifc act that took us through the window, i was acting on the frustration of getting my ass handed to me by my little brother) i think that we had gotten to having a pretty "good relationship" we were just screwing around and had a terrible accident. i wasn’t aware of my surroundings, and i was not in control of myself (in a physical sense i mean, i was off-balance because he was the better fighter) all in all it was just stupid.

what i am asking is for advice on how to apologize, how do i have that conversation? what i’m trying to say is that theres a history here of this kind of fighting shit happening, and this time it was just an accident, it could have just as easily been me that got cut up. i’ve just done so much stupid shit to this kid over the years and he’s still been right there and i don’t know what to say
"hey man, i just want you to know, that what happened the other night, was completely unintentional. all that was my escalation, and i was a out of control, and i want you to know that im sorry, and that youre my brother and very important to me, and that i love you a lot".

start with that, and season to taste.

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