i dunno what to do, I dont date and this is the first girl ive dated in along time (2 years), she wants to take a break and said we should because its been rocky/wierd for awhile. And i agree that it has but just seems wierd i thought we were taking a break but she broke up with me on facebook ()

and i awlays though that taking a break = together still but no talking/seeing each other for awhile and still together

breaking up = no talkign seeing each other but not together..

it just sorta hit me, we still love each other but im going through a hard time (work + pressure + emotional problems) have been stressing me out lately and she believes that she been mistreating and taking me for granted so wanted a braek to think about everything.

the worst thing is that its her grad in 2 weeks, and our anniversy on saturday.

so i feel horrible cause i feel like i caused all these problems cause she’s usually happy when im happy and i guess the last 4-5 days before we decided to take a break got to her and she realized all this.

I dont know what to do or get my mind off things. I work and workout and usually kill 12 hours of the day betweenmy summer job + running company + working out

but for the other 4-5 hours i have before i go sleep i constantly question what I did wrong and why I’m like this.

The stress is coming from working 10 hour days at my summer labor job, then running to do my business work (part time but only can do it till 7pm its good money and my parents and I own the company so i cant say i quit), the pressure from my parents seems like I should be running the business

I do all the deposits, keep track of the books (going to 3rd year accounting) do all the remittance/payroll/invoicing

and it seems like my gf wasbored of me so that finally got to me and i was looking at pictures and found out some guy that she’s known since jr high was talking to her fine and ti seemed like she was flirting with him (ex: too bad i wasnt there i could of been ur grad date, complimented him on how he looked at grad) And the fact her ex bf/guys always try to hit on her and talk.

I know shes faithful and loves me but i guess im scared of losing her cause im uncomfortable with myself.

and the emotional problem stems from me being scared of losing her to guys that are better looking (not that im hideous) + accomplishg (1 guy is a jock she went out with b4 and parents like him, andn the other recently played pro soccer vs david beckham and is just a good looking dude) and the fact that I’m smaller guy. 5’6-5’7 @ 120-130 I go to the gym and workout buut havent gained much weight due to not eating enough during the school year when i started (lazy habits i cleaned up and eat alot more since starting work) Strength increased but i want the weight to icnrease too.

(my friends sometimes make jokes or gf ocmments on me being little (my gf is smaller but its like atleast im trying to get bigger)

Im just lost and need help with everything. I thought the gym would help but all i do is go there and question why i even do this even though it is improving me.

help I usual push feeling aside and dont share anything with family or friends on how i feel and find it hard to so I’d rather share with anonymous people and dont want to go see professional help.

Here’s what you need to know. She wants to break up with you, but not cut off contact completely….she needs to keep you in her back pocket in case she gets lonely or can’t get someone else she wants.

Now that you know this, act in what manner seems best to you.
Put it this way, if she wants to take a "break" now instead of working through the tough times with you then you can assume she will also just give up later down the road in your relationship/marriage when tough times come up.

Breaks are total bullshit, that’s all there is to it. I’m sure you know this and just don’t want to agree with it because now it’s you in the position but it is truth. The fact that you have already found she’s fliritng with another guy just proves that most likely her love for you was just not that strong. She is now seeing other men in a more tempting light which is typical for a "break." She basically wants to test the waters most likely and see if there is something better out there. Don’t wait around for her.

It sounds like you have a lot of issues and I’m sure she noticed this and it turned her off (like your insecurity issues with losing her). Whether you realize it or not I’m sure you said or did things over 2 years that she noticed and made her less attracted to you. Whether you were overbearing or jealous of other men I’m not sure But I’m willing to bet that has a lot to do with it.

I’m not trying to beat you down, just make you see. Girls are attracted to a guy who works with what he’s got. In your case you are a shorter guy who is thin. You can work out all you want but that is not what she’s going to be in love with. Obviously she got with you and stayed with you for 2 years, so I doubt your size is what matters to her. Seems from the start you had a complex that you weren’t good enough from her, so it was doomed from the beginning.

Is she not talking to you at all?

You need to move on. Stop thinking of ways to win her back. You need to learn to love yourself and just be yourself. Stop trying to be who you think she wants. If she doesn’t want you then she’s not worth your time.

Also, read these threads:

she was talking to me, i found out today she was talking to her exbf and i dont like him at all so now im getting kicked around

i dont know what to do
When a girl wants a break, it means she’s found someone else she wants to fuck.

Find a new girl.
I hate to say it but it’s over..

You say she’s graduating college? She’s ready to move on with her life and doesn’t see you in it anymore.

Move on. You are young, she is young. She’s no longer in love. Now you have to accept that and move on with your life.

You cannot talk to her any longer, it will only slow down the process of moving on in a healthy way.

cut all ties with her and ignore her if she contacts you. go out with friends and meet other people. use this to really focus on work/gym

.

break up. Don’t give her the satisfaction of getting you without committing to you.

this is likely the major issue

when you are scared to lose her, you act from neediness and desperation

neediness and desperation will kill her interest in you quicker than anything else

if you aren’t willing to walk away if necessary, she has all the power and you are fucked

i know because i’ve been there

Definitely. Now is the best time for self-improvement and it’s also the best time to reflect.

This is all true, especially the part I bolded.

On the dot!

Everyone has been there before, it all goes the same way. Just do yourself a favour and dont waste your life. Accept and move on.

a break is just what people say when they are too scared to be completely alone. she wants you to fall back on in case things dont work for her in the single world. its not fair.

if things have been bad lately, its probably better to just end the relationship and move forward with life. breaks rarely solve anything for people. its a sign something isnt working right in the relationship. recognize it and end things for good so you can find someone else that works better with you

i know its hard, but you gotta be strong and cut ties with her
Well, sometimes people just need space, but this doesn’t seem to be the case as she’s now talking to her ex b/f? Tell her that you’d like to make the break indefinitely and if you’re meant to be, you’ll find eachother again someday, after a true "break".
yea i have to agree with everyone else.. breaks are just total bullshit , and they only serve the one who started it ( the girl in this case) , she has you around to use and abuse as she sees fit , but since you are on a "break" she therefore feels totally ok for her to be out drinking/whoring around with other guys.. basically she doesnt want the relationship anymore , and your just a backup plan…

now dont get me wrong , its not the end of the world , me and my GF did this as well , and it sucked, and sucked for a very long time. she called it a "break" too.. we still kept in contact , but both saw other people ( i know of a few on her end , and i did my share as well) and after 8 months of beating our heads against the wall , we did end up back together , after realizing what we had , and that we were good for each other. however this isnt always the case.. my GF went though some hard emotional times ( losing custody of her 5 year old , and the ensuing legal battle, coupled with most of her family abandoning her at the same time) My GF has told me many times , she was totally being self-destructive , and out of control. when she was able to get it under control and resolved , we were able to patch up our relationship and move on from there

guess what im trying to say , is basically go do what you want to do for you.. and maybe someday in the future you guys will work things out , but dont place everything on that.. its gonna suck .. but its gonna make you stronger as well….

Rockadot.

thats what i think will happen but i have no clue. and yeah i can see her point of view but she isnt a slut/whore at all and only has had 3 bf’s in the last 4 years. Doesnt date doesnt hookup with guys i was her 2nd sexual partner. so im not worried about her whoring around. but she does like to drink and party (she’s 2 years younger)

only time will tell, ujntil then im hitting the gym hanging out with the boys and just gonna work and see where it takes me

I hate to say it, but it he’s right…she wants that lily pad to jump back to if she needs it. Sorry dude :/
my ex and I went on a break. after a week, i said fuck it and broke the whole thing off.
you might as well get the heartbroken syndrome sooner than later
huge update

so i picked her up last night and we talked and she broke down crying and told her boss was blackmailing her and told her she would fire her blah blah blah and that her boss was the one that said break up with him or lose your job etc etc

her boss is moving to her apartment but was living with my GF for meantime and i guess HATES me
uhh is your boss into her? i dont get it

oh fuck lol. get her a different job. jeez

I’m sorry, but if you believe that line, you are a fool. That is utter, utter bullshit.

There is no way she can be fired for dating you… I would laugh in the person’s face if someone tried to tell me that. I would then immediately document who said it, when and where they said it, so that if they did try to fire me for it, I could take it to court.

And she was living with her boss? What the hell? Talk about conflict of interest.

Seriously, this girl does not sound worth it at all.

But seriously, who the fuck lets themself be blackmailed?

uh She was hyperventilating and signs of panic attack when she told her mom and I and she’s younger and sometimes kinda has blonde moments and I told her if she fired her they could take it to court blah blah.

yeah her boss needed a place to live for 2-3 weeks cause her old roomates knew she had herpes and didnt tell her and i was making fun of her for having herpies and scabies and i guess she never liked me.

fucked up situation, at first iwas like uhh good one then she started hyperventilating/crying and we couldnt calm her down for like an hour

her boss comes and sleeps in her room (both girls) When my gf doesnt want her too and doesnt have the backbone to say go sleep somewhere else. So last night she went and slept in her brothers room cause he wasnt home.

She basically has no backbone to her boss cause she doesnt wanna lose the job but doesnt realize her boss cant fire her for ANYTHING not work related

but needlless to say im still single but her boss gonna pay

god, way too much drama and immaturity.

I really think the best thing to do would be to just stay away from her and let her solve her own problems. Trying to get revenge on her boss or get her problems fixed for her is just going to entangle you more in her life.

I don’t think it’s fair to you that she gets to get all this help from you, but she can’t be in a relationship with you.

yeah ill figure it out
doesn’t seem like there’s much to figure out.

She dumps you (because that’s basically what "taking a break" is), then comes crying to you about her problems that she can’t solve or is unwilling to try to solve. If she "wants space" or "time to think" then, that’s what she’s going to get.

And yes, it really is that simple.

Why waste your time on her? I’m not saying she shouldn’t have support, but that’s what friends and family are for, not recently dumped ex boyfriends.

STOP talking to her, STOP hanging out with her…

her boss is a girl and they kinda became friends ( as what usualyl happens wiith girls) And her boss came from another city and has very little friends (and now even less cause she doesnt talk to them cause they knew she had teh herpe) and my she asked my gf if she could stay at her house

Ok, so your ex got herself into this whole situation.

Just leave her alone. If she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, she doesn’t get your support. And don’t tell me you want to just be friends with her, you can’t do that right after a breakup.

Stop worrying about her, she’s not your concern anymore.
if she cared for you she would tell her boss to fuck right off

Exactly holy jesus.

Splitting up with your boyfriend when your boss asks you to or threatens you is NOT the appropriate course of action.

this man speaks the truth

this guy does too.

i had some beers at lunch.

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