just so everyone knows why I’m insane

Here’s a little email traffic where I let an XGF from 1999-2000 borrow my "new" miata because he car is broken. Her grandfather died, and my mother expects me to do something I guess. I should also add that I’m not religious, and 27 years old. The only reason I’ve been dealing with either of them is because my XGF goes to church with them, and I’ve been in the garage piecing together my turbo motor.

Oh, and my car is insured for 30-days after purchase and title transfer.

Melanie really needs a friend to talk to. Let her see that you not the immature 19 year old she knew. If you won’t show her that you’re a man of god, at least show her that you’re an adult.

From: Trey Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2008 9:11 AM
To: Connie
Subject: RE: car

Well, what else am I going to do with 2 cars? Its too ugly for me to drive anyway.

Subject: RE: car
Date: Thu, 29 May 2008 09:08:09 -0500
From: connie
To: trey

You are so sweet to let Melanie borrow your car. Very unselfish of you.

From: Trey
Sent: Wednesday, May 28, 2008 7:02 PM
To: Connie
Subject: Re: car

no

—– Original Message —–
From: Connie
To: Trey
Sent: Wednesday, May 28, 2008 2:05 PM
Subject: car

Trey, Do you think you should insure your new miata since Melanie is driving it?

I did something simular , mine got smashed ,crushed and pulverised. what did they say again, oh yes: Sorry. i was like

I hope your scenario goes better

I since then don’t lend out things unless its a complete emergency and i suggest you don’t do either. People need to have their own act together, and them bogieing you out on not being a man of God or an adult shouldn’t mean jack shit to you. Fuck that shit, just because her grandfather died you have to lend out your car? What the hell is up with that, can’t the car company give her a borrow car until her wreck is fixed?

The only reason you should lend out the car is because you’ll have your mother hate you forever.

Here’s my advice: Get your car insured ALL RISK!!! ,its a new car so its worth it. And if a crazy ho is going to drive it maby with XBF revenge intensions,do it BEFORE SHE LENDS IT!!!.

I feel you are not obliged to lend out your car at all, i feel 100% the same as you. But im afraid you need to put your hands in front of your eyes and see thru this. ffs
the car is insured, and its just an old ass miata. I offered, not anyone else.
I can give myself a similar scenario.
ex-gf smashed her car up by rear ending another driver on the way to my house to help me put up a x-mas tree, she never made it to my house and totalled her car bad (and almost got hit by a semi in the process)

Part of me felt bad because she did this while coming to my house, but then I thought to myself "well, she was driving and could have been going anywhere and this could have happened." She was hinting at wanting a used car now since hers is totals. She drivers her parents truck at the moment. I would never let her borrow my car or buy her a used car. Only thing I did for her was point her in the right direction of people I knew who were selling their cars. She can take care of the rest on her own.
so everyone is not reading the thread and suggesting that I not let the girl borrow my car…instead of reading that my mother is giving me shit, as an adult, over not loving jesus and assuming guilt for shit from my childhood? lol
sorry i read the thread but really thought you were lending out a brand new car to her, i guess that in the asylum i tend to take posts serious

The whole lending out stuff issue is rather sensetive IMO,because its really nasty if you get betrayed, but it feels good if you lend out to someone you can really trust, and you get everything back in good shape. But yes i really thought your mom was giving you religious lectures for not willing to lend out your car.

sorry i read the thread but really thought you were lending out a brand new car to her, i guess that in the asylum i tend to take posts serious

The whole lending out stuff issue is rather sensetive IMO,because its really nasty if you get betrayed, but it feels good if you lend out to someone you can really trust, and you get everything back in good shape. But yes i really thought your mom was giving you religious lectures for not willing to lend out your car.

no, she’s telling me to right my wrongs and hook up with this girl again to make her feel better…lol. Its a $1400 miata, I’m not that worried about it.

This thread is not about lending a car, its about my mother imposing guilt upon me for leaving one girl who I didn’t want to be with.
well, then do it as a favor to your mother then. bummer that she had to approach it from a guilt-on-you point of view, instead of "hey can you help me help someone…? "

but on lending, not to jihack… i never lend something i wouldnt give away in the first place. i have to understand the possiblity i might never see the item again, before i can decide to loan it out.
Translation: I am your mother and always know what’s best for you and if you disagree you are a) a child and b) going to burn in Hell, so be grateful that I set this up this chance of redemption for you.

Classic!
I would not let anyone drive my car, yet alone borrow it.

The only times that other people drive my car is when I am in the passenger seat because I am incapable of driving (too tired, don’t feel like it, or drunk).

Translation: I am your mother and always know what’s best for you and if you disagree you are a) a child and b) going to burn in Hell, so be grateful that I set this up this chance of redemption for you.

Classic!

she called me a couple times over the last few years and asked me to thank her for raising me as well as she did. She also hit herself and blamed her c-section scar on me…lol.

If someone offers you a gift but you refuse to accept it, who owns the gift? The giver.

Same thing applies to guilt. Just don’t accept her guilt trip.

You really can’t change that. When people start thinking they are better than you because of some invisible friend they believe in with no real logical reason in doing so they will become very selfish and irrational if you don’t as well. There’s many religious people who are like this, and many that are not. All you can do is tell her you respect her beliefs and you wish she could be mature enough to respect yours.

If she were born in a different country she would believe in something completely different than what she does now, most likely. All because she was raised in this christian nation doesn’t make her any different than anyone else, she just talks like that because by nature christianity is very selfish and spread through force more than most religions, and a good amount of it’s followers reflect that.

my mother expects me to do something I guess

Lol! Given this, I suggest you stop trying to earn her approval by meeting her expectations as she will always withold it to get you to do what she wants and to have someone to blame for her lot in life. Instead, listen, reserve judement, then later decide what you think is reasonable to do and accept that she can say, do and think what she likes about you.

Also if you withdraw from her when she is blaming/controlling and contact her only when she isn’t, you may find that eventually she does it less as the power will have shifted and she will need the contact more than you. If she doesn’t, it’s her loss and your gain. No adult relationship should be conditional on one person’s attempts to control/belittle the other.
I don’t really give a shit about earning my mother’s approval. lol

Good, because she sounds like the insane one in the family!

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