How is the best way to deal with the death of a good friend? A very good friend of mine was killed a few weeks ago with his wife in a motercycle accident, they had 3 small children, I am having a really hard time dealing with this. I cannot stop thinking about it and it really depresses me. I have talked to my priest about this and he gave me a prayer to say, it helped but not totally. I am just not sure how to handle this.
My condolences on your loss.

There is no "best way". The only way out is through….and getting through can be one of the most difficult things we have to do. In my experience with grief, there is no way to rush it. There is no way to ease the pain except to allow yourself to grieve deeply.

Yes that can mean you cry a lot but it’s part of the healing. Yes that can mean that you do and say things that you really don’t mean…..as soon as this happens and you realize it, try to make an apology.

The thing that’s helped me the most in dealing with grief is to simply give myself permission to grieve. It’s hard, sometimes really hard but trying to stuff my emotions and feelings simply makes them come out sideways later on down the line.

Hang in there and listen to your heart. Sharing your grief with those you love can also help.

Oh and just so you know, in 2004 I lost my stepdad. He was one of my best friends in the whole world and I loved him dearly. Whenever we made plans he would say, "Ok Tiger". I was broken hearted when he died but I’ve seen your name around…..whenever I do I remember him fondly and the good times we had.
Remember the good times you had, and remember while they might be gone in a physical sense, they live on with you forever in your heart and mind.
Sorry to hear that man. All I can say is time. Things don’t get better in 3 weeks. I lost my mother, unexpected, 4 years ago (unfortunately,when I posted about it on OT, it was post #666 for me). Needless to say, it takes a lot of time and a strong person to get over all of this. I lost my grandmother last year as well. She suffered for almost a year. It took my dad a while to heal his wounds about my mother dying. Till this day, I know there are days when it hurts. We lost her around x-mas, and as a nice gesture (and a favor I asked her), my ex-gf came overto help put up a x-mas tree, first time in 4 years. My dad lost it when he saw this, because it brought up memories. Give it time, that is all I can say. There are books out there you can read about losing loved ones as well, and how to deal with it. I suggest reading them. Some are powerful and help out a lot.
with this death it is really hard, I have had friends die in the past few years but with Jeff it is really hard, I guess why it was so hard is because he was one of my biggest supporters when I quit drinking, he was truely a true friend. someone I will never forget.
Only thing that helped me was time, family and keeping myself busy.

Oh, also not letting myself think negatively about it; just accepting it.

Jeff sobered you up, so show your sobriety the most right now.

Here’s a sober thought, Jeff had three kids, and they are not too happy right now. Drunk on your own pain, you cannot comprehend theirs.

How about you dedicate some time to distracting them from their suffering, paying in time, money, or effort? This in effect will also distract you from your own pain, isn’t that enough to gain?

AND you’re helping his kids. Think about it.

Is it too late at this point? Nah.

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