this past year has just been a slow and steady decline of my social life, and its a very bad slippery slope. it seems like everybody is immediately uncomfortable in my presence, and except for my core group of friends (4 or 5 people), all my converstations are awkward and short lived.

It seems like everyone expects me to be THEIR best friend, calling them all the time, and hanging out all the time, but i just dont have the time or energy. Theres just too many people im around (work, classes, music scene, parties, neighbors, etc. etc.) and i feel like i cant keep up. And everyone takes it so personally when I dont have a 30 minute conversation with them while im in the middle of programming for work or doing homework, or just being at home relaxing.

An example: I just got promoted a few months back at my job to a programmer, so all my work i do on my own in an office. My job before i would work with a team of 5 or 6 people. Now all those people assume that I think im better than them (which i dont at all) because i got promoted and dont have as much time at work to socialize.

Then when shit like that happens i get a little depressed, and the next person i run into wonders why im not smiling and having a great day, and they assume whatever the fuck and now they’re mad at me.

i know i shouldn’t care what other people think about me, but when i excercise that it just makes it worse. I need time to myself but i cant find it, and when i do everyone hates me for it.

There is the Good Master of the Household that goes with the flow of life, and the Good Master of the Household that SWIMS AGAINST THE CURRENTS OF LIFE.

One will be successful.

Stop letting others set the impression. That’s you’re job. "Why the long face". "Friends thing I’m elitist prick". "Why". "Promotion".

Not hard. At least you get to choose why you get rotted.

If you don’t have the time or energy for friends, you are going to have to live without friends. Do you really want that?

Was so much money worth this change? I mean big brains cost a lot of money, but they are lining their pockets with you and living it up above you, no kidding. And below you I bet it felt a lot better. No one likes being the brain.
Have you done anything to make anyone feel uncomfortable?

It’s normal to have your most intimate conversations with your closest friends. You cannot expect to talk endlessly with acquaintances. Conversations lose the awkwardness when you truly know the person your’e talking to. They also lose the weird pauses.

If everyone wants to be your friend, and you’re too busy, isn’t it your own fault that you feel socially inept, since you’re distancing yourself from most social gatherings?

However, your friends do need to understand that you have a very demanding and time consuming career. Why not try emailing or texting people? That only takes a few minutes, and to them it will seem like you made an effort to contact them.

Your co-workers thinking you’re an elitist is probably somewhat out of jealousy. They wish they got the same promotion and assume you will walk around with your head way up high and only talk to people at your new level. Why not make an effort to maintain relationships with these people to prove you don’t believe you’re above them. I’m not saying you have to treat them out to dinner and hang out on weekends. Just say "Hi, how are you?" etc.. A little step can go a long way.

Try not to let your depression from one relationship affect how you treat others. If one of my friends was walking around like "I’m so sad, no one understands me" and I go "What’s wrong?" and they say something like "Leave me alone I don’t want to talk about it" It’s like "Um hello.. if you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t help you." Maybe you need to TALK to someone about what’s wrong just to let it all out of you.

Everyone is entitled to their personal space. I am someone who is very private and NEEDS my space all the time. Most other people cannot understand that about me.

If someone thinks you’re being rude, you might just have to come out and explain it to them – "I’m not trying to ignore you, I just want some time to myself." Most people will just say "okay" and leave you alone.. But if you want to talk about it, then try that too.

Best of luck.

-Christina

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