I’m at a loss here. Lately I’ve been trying to be more social but I just can’t get past hello with men and women. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even have a normal conversation with my parents. I don’t really know what to do to help myself.
was there a time when socilizing was easy/er for you?
I used to be very social when I was in elementry school and 6th grade but after that I just became quiet and distant from nearly everyone around me. Right now I’m trying to change that but I don’t know what to talk about/say with anyone.

Talk about them, ask them questions about them, make them feel important. Just show a genuine interest in them and their stories and they can do most of the talking.
i never got the whole concept of "showing genuine interest". what’s the mindset behind that? how can i show genuine interest when i’m not genuinely interested? why should i be genuinely interested, other than out of sheer self-interest (to "be more sociable")?
Soooo, why can’t you physically hold a conversation? What are you afraid of when someone starts one? Are you thinking "uh, they don’t give a shit about what I think?" Or is it really that no one is talking about things that interest you?

Did you become judgmental of people? Do you generally have contempt for the intelligence of others?

It’s not fear or them not caring what I think, for me it’s not knowing what to say to keep the conversation at a steady flow. It just consists of "hello and goodbye".
Its easy, start out with a question. Even as simply as ‘do you know how late it is?’and go from there, when the conversation tends to die out, ask another question. You can also add some humor to it, in order to spice up, listen to comedy central on winamp for an hour each day, it really shows how a conversation can be a wonderfull thing, its not meant as torture, its really good that you are trying to open up, i also learned that it was wrong to close myself up,afteral we are all part of life.

Stop trying to figure out what to say and ask them questions about themselves. Most people love to talk about themselves. If you aren’t interested in what they have to say, don’t expect to be a good conversationalist.
Thanks for the advice everyone I really appreciate it.
The best thing to do is get out there and just strike up a conversation. Ask people about their jobs/hobbies/interests etc. People become so afraid of rejection or being put down that they don’t even try to socialize with others. What you need to realize is that it’s OK if everyone on the planet doesn’t like you. Go out to a bar and have some drinks. Be yourself. Talk about what interests you. Talk about current events. The key is to just TALK to people. The more you do it, the easier it becomes and soon enough striking up a convo with a totally random person will seem normal to you. Networking and social skills are very important things in life and if it doesn’t come natuirally to you it is something you better learn.

In one of my business classes we learned that 52% of people in the US work force got their jobs from networking with others. People who regularly network with others on average make about 10% more than those who do not. Get out there and meet people, it is fun once you realize that you don’t have to impress everyone you meet.

QFT. Being a good listener is key. When you ask people about themselves and really listen to what they have to say they perceive you as a great conversationalist. Just ask questions about them and they’ll love you because no one else takes the time to listen to them.
Don’t be afraid to voice your own opinions even if you think people wont like them. People will find you boring and uninteresting if you never have an opinion of your own. Now this doesn’t mean always voicing your own opinions and never letting anyone else give theres. You still need to be a good listener to attract people to want to converse with you.

The single best advice I have heard though is to ‘assume rapport’. If you don’t know what rapport means I suggest you look it up. But if you can change your belief system to assume rapport, you can easily escape from social anxiety. Assume that whenever you go into a social situation that everyone already likes you. If you can master this social anxiety will be beaten down.

Your ego is concerned with sending the wrong impression, so instead it has chosen not to send any impressions.

People that continue with that usually end up alone in an apartment, using drugs or just playing online games where they can achieve social interaction without the fear of inhibitions.

You must steal fire from the devil, there is only one way out of that and that is up the hill, you must fight this battle by re-establishing that it’s just your ego that feels this way, and you can speak to people normally without offending them or embarrassing yourself.
Read and educate yourself, read some about pop culture or something. The more you know the more you have to talk about.
There are few people that are really interesting. Look around and you will find that most people just talk about the same acquaintances and the same old topics everytime.
Go out and do stuff, get some hobbies and then you will get more and more fun stories to tell people.

Popular culture makes you uniquely common.

While I agree that as a man you can talk about Movies, Woman, and Cars and you have yourself a conversation.

I suggest never talking about yourself. My friends stories are interesting, and he can do all the talking. Kind of gives me a break. Get them to talk about themselves and you’re gold. Talk about yourself and they will find something else to talk about, "I’m sorry to go off topic" is usually their way.

Relating to that persons interests, establishing that common ground…
Yeah good luck on the dating part thought talking about cars and women.

Wow I never thought about that before but it makes complete sense
You’re obviously interested in breaking this anxiety/whatever it is, but it might be harder seeing as it’s been like this for quite a while. The best bits of advice I can offer/reiterate are:
Be confident (assume rapport) – people want to hear what you have to say.
Imagine a sticker on everyone’s head which says ‘Make me feel important’
Ask lots of questions, don’t be afraid to answer questions.
Don’t be afraid to go off topic a bit, link the conversation in with things that interest you.
Get a part time job and force yourself to talk.

At a call center, best buy… doesn’t matter. This will be practice for the real world. Talkers get anything they want. Trust me, I’m a visor wearing, slick talking shady white guy.

I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!!! Not because I’m smart and should have but because I had a job as a waiter and part of that job is I have to talk to people. Sure I could be just an order taker but I wanted bigger and better tips so I needed to talk to people and be friendly with them. There was no guarantee that I’d get a bigger tip but hey, might as well be friendly.

Funny thing was, this really brought me out of my shell.

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