Jealous much?

I’ll put this in point form so as to not turn this into an allthatshit.jpg

Last few years, I’ve started hating my bro’s guts for all the drama/problems he caused with my dad. I think that’s made me bitter over the years, especially around/with him.

On top of that:

1) My parents lost their jobs. My dad got fed up at his lat company and hasn’t been able to find anything steady since. My mom had an incurable disease (psoriasis) on her foot/hands so she can’t really work.

2) My bro got a house and got married, just before/around my parents lost their job.

3) My bro got a new car recently.

4) He has a baby on the way.

5) With dad at home, he continues to drink and many time I come home and he’s in this semi-drunk state that he seems fine and sober but is like a loose canon (especially since he and my mom have bickered for YEARS). We went (pseudo) camping this weekend and my dad was semi-drunk going there and it totally ruined my mood. My mom also told me all his fucking antics at home with alcohol instead of looking for a job. THere’s a lot more to this than I can type but gist of it is, he feels "The kids have a job, and you (wife) aren’t working so I don’t have to"

With all these things happening on his (bro’s) behalf, I feel like I’m getting the short end of the stick and am getting left out.

I have to support my parents and my sis – who is just starting to get into her career work – doesn’t pay a lot just yet. I pay the mortgage, and all the bills (hydro, phone, cable, insurance, etc.) and with that, I can’t see how I can have enough to move out on my own.

I’m also getting to an age where I should be with a girl hoping to get married but with all this on my shoulder still living with my parents to support them, I feel like I can’t because of this situation. I feel like I am TOTALLY getting screwed.

My bro (who I’ll say is seriously pussy whipped) is always being all cute and ‘serving’ to his wife and that just pisses the fuck out of me. Probably because I see him in a way that I want to be (happy, loved, enjoying the blissful side of new marriage – sans the whipped part)

I dunno, I feel like he’s seriously living it up and I am SERIOUSLY getting fucked up; the more I think about it the more it drives me nuts. And it’s so fucking hard to get out of this unless my dad gets a job to help me out.

I dunno, it makes me look bad I’m bitter around him (wonder if anyone notices) and it sucks to be enveious/jealous, but I can’t help it with my situation.

It’s not your brothers fault. It is your fathers. Your brother is living his life. Just as you should be living yours. Not going through a martyr complex.

You cannot be responsible for supporting him (your father) for his own selfish actions.

Leave and start your own life. Will be difficult but will be better in the long run for all concerned.
thats a tough situation. how did it all start?

did your family ask you to help with the bills or did you take it upon yourself?

either way, I would give them an ultimatem of when i would be done helping out (and move out at the same time)
Well, we’re east-Indian (although pretty ‘Canadianized’ considering we’ve been here over 20yrs+) so the whole family values of sticking together is pretty important.

I chose to help out but the fact that he isn’t trying and has been this long is just making it WAY too difficult.

And yea, last night my mom and I talked about some of the shit and I told her about how it is. I was being emo but I pretty much said "My bro has a house, just got a brand new car, has a wife, and now has a kid on the way, and what do I have? Nothing"). Took a bit in me to finally tell her but I got it ouut.

I’ve been the quiet one during all those ‘fights’ in the past; I never wanted to involve myself but at this point, if I don’t say anything, as my mom said it "If you (me) don’t say anything he’ll (dad) just think everything is alright"

Things just snow balled after parents lost their job which is when these things pretty much started I suppose. His drinking/arguing/drama in the house has been like that for the last decade or so.
I understand the cultural aspect but I suppose everyone has a breaking point.

how acceptable is it in india for a father to do what yours has done?
I dunno. I mean we aren’t "HARDCORE" like other Indians. I almost consider myself lucky because of how lenient our parents are. But being selfish and ignorant just isn’t acceptable, regardless of culture or race.

I feel like I’m getting old and am not really going anywhere in life and this burden is just keeping me stranded. I really need a break from him (financially) so I can move on.

I mean with the way things are, I hope I don’t have to be the one to "give away" my sister (weddings = $$$$)

I understand the cultural aspect but I suppose everyone has a breaking point.

how acceptable is it in india for a father to do what yours has done?

I guess it depends from a culture point of view. I am hispanic and we value parents over anything. So if your father or mother is sick, you should take care of them, you are still responsible for them, something that goes against this country’s culture.
So yea, this is great.

I walk into the house from work only to have my mom tell me that dad was drinking again through the day and just verbally abused her.

I really don’t need this. I’m puttin’ his booze away and cutting off all $ to him.

I’m not going to argue or cause a huge fight with him (I obviously don’t want my sis – who’ll be home in a few in – to go through it). I’m just going to hide his shit so he can’t touch it.

If I’m paying the bills and mortgage, he might as well consider himself a guest under my house.

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