I can’t sit still and in turn, it’s making me broke

I don’t know how many times I have to keep going through this. I can’t change. It’s been like this since I was sixteen. I’m twenty-fucking-three years old and turning 24 in March. I have zero dollars in savings and make more then i fucking need too. I’m moving this month and I can’t even pay for the security deposit to get in. I have to borrow money. I can’t stop it. I told myself I would stop going out to lunch for new years..whoops, It’s Jan. 4th and I went out to lunch every fucking day so far. I can’t stop. It’s an addiction. It’s like a drug. I’m sitting at my desk looking at food I have so i eat it instead of going out, and all my co-worker has to say is, "Lunch?" and I get this burning senssation. It’s so fucking desireable i can’t say no. I never have.

When I am able to pull it off, not go out to lunch during the week, i completely fuck it up over the weekend. I take friends out to dinner and spend morei n one night then i did in three weeks in college! I cant’ stop!

So to push myself I am moving two miles from work. I’m going to leave my wallet at home. I’m going to cut all of my CC’s in half. I’m going to walk to work. I’m going to force myself to suffer. I’m just scared for the weekend. I get that itch and there’s nothing there to distract me. I could go shopping, i could go out, i could go buy food, clothes, watch a movie. But i can’t stay home. I can’t read a book. I can’t sit still.

I just need some advice. I don’t know how long i’ll last. I get paid on the 15th, and with that cash in my account, I won’t even remember this thread.

I don’t know how many times I have to keep going through this. I can’t change. It’s been like this since I was sixteen. I’m twenty-fucking-three years old and turning 24 in March. I have zero dollars in savings and make more then i fucking need too. I’m moving this month and I can’t even pay for the security deposit to get in. I have to borrow money. I can’t stop it. I told myself I would stop going out to lunch for new years..whoops, It’s Jan. 4th and I went out to lunch every fucking day so far. I can’t stop. It’s an addiction. It’s like a drug. I’m sitting at my desk looking at food I have so i eat it instead of going out, and all my co-worker has to say is, "Lunch?" and I get this burning senssation. It’s so fucking desireable i can’t say no. I never have.

When I am able to pull it off, not go out to lunch during the week, i completely fuck it up over the weekend. I take friends out to dinner and spend morei n one night then i did in three weeks in college! I cant’ stop!

So to push myself I am moving two miles from work. I’m going to leave my wallet at home. I’m going to cut all of my CC’s in half. I’m going to walk to work. I’m going to force myself to suffer. I’m just scared for the weekend. I get that itch and there’s nothing there to distract me. I could go shopping, i could go out, i could go buy food, clothes, watch a movie. But i can’t stay home. I can’t read a book. I can’t sit still.

I just need some advice. I don’t know how long i’ll last. I get paid on the 15th, and with that cash in my account, I won’t even remember this thread.

could you look into locking your checking account or something (basically, do something to make it hard for you to get out your money), and set up to have your bills deducted automatically from it each month?

You should probably consider moving back in with parents or a friend for now until you can get a handle on all this. I have a feeling that this has probably already negatively affected your credit history, which will impact everything else.

Another thing you might want to do is consult a doctor. Some of this sounds a little like ADD…it might be worth looking into.

could you look into locking your checking account or something (basically, do something to make it hard for you to get out your money), and set up to have your bills deducted automatically from it each month?

You should probably consider moving back in with parents or a friend for now until you can get a handle on all this. I have a feeling that this has probably already negatively affected your credit history, which will impact everything else.

Another thing you might want to do is consult a doctor. Some of this sounds a little like ADD…it might be worth looking into.

I think I might need medication as well. My credit is fine. It’s hurting a little right now becuase my balances are high. It’s kind of what pinches me every month. I’m going to just cut all of my cards including my checking card and withdraw cash from the bank from now on. Maybe weekly and if i run out, i run out. It will force me to save and hopefully grow accustom to living a less wreckless lifestyle.
i’m gonna make this an ongoing thread. I’m moving on the 14th.
Don’t cut your cards….throw them in a tupperware dish, run water over them, and put it in your freezer. You would have to wait a very long time for them to defrost before you could use them and by then, the urge to spend should have passed. Get yourself one small credit card (say $300 limit) and use that as your day-to-day card (meaning gas, oil changes, small meals) and freeze the rest of your cards…even the check card. make yourself go inside the bank if you need cash that bad.

Also get checked for any ADD/OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)

Don’t cut your cards….throw them in a tupperware dish, run water over them, and put it in your freezer. You would have to wait a very long time for them to defrost before you could use them and by then, the urge to spend should have passed. Get yourself one small credit card (say $300 limit) and use that as your day-to-day card (meaning gas, oil changes, small meals) and freeze the rest of your cards…even the check card. make yourself go inside the bank if you need cash that bad.

Also get checked for any ADD/OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)

you are a motherfucking genious. i love you forever for this thread.

i’m moving on monday. It’s also payday. where i am forcing my savings to begin. I WILL do it
You should try mod edit: no advocature of drug usage please . Then you’ll want to sit at home and enjoy your house.

I want you to read your post.

Do you see yourself addressing the issue or masking it?

Personally, you will not improve with medication, for it is a cyclic thought proccess driving you to do this.

There are books that can help you with this. Break out a load of cash and buy as many of those books as you can. Just kidding.

Seriously, get some books relating to that subject. Obsessive spending books are out there.

You are focusing on how you want to feel today, and it is making you feel misrible for tommorow, amirite?

So focus on tommorow, so you can be happy tommorow, then the next tommorow, ect.

Sorry dude, I can’t afford to go out to lunch today I am broke. (Bring own lunch)

Minimize addictions and spending. Replace with cheep or free activities to fill in the gaps, for the win.

The only problem with this is when you realize that the microwave is right there and it does a great job at defrosting and thawing….beware . I’ve tried this trick before and the microwave was just laughing at me the whole time.

]Don’t cut your cards….throw them in a tupperware dish, run water over them, and put it in your freezer. You would have to wait a very long time for them to defrost before you could use them and by then, the urge to spend should have passed.[/b] Get yourself one small credit card (say $300 limit) and use that as your day-to-day card (meaning gas, oil changes, small meals) and freeze the rest of your cards…even the check card. make yourself go inside the bank if you need cash that bad.

Also get checked for any ADD/OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)

I do this! The best thing I could ever do for myself. I get the urge to go out and so on. Mine have been sitting in the freezer since november!
ING account + automatic withdraw to savings + having someone else change the password for you = forced money management

this is also a fantastic idea.

I got paid today.

I’m kind of nervous.

I thought I was going to be paid on Monday.

I find it kind of funny how I am afraid of it. Every time i get paid i’m like when i see my account. How do i spend all of this? Jesus.

Time to crack down.

I want you to read your post.

Do you see yourself addressing the issue or masking it?

Personally, you will not improve with medication, for it is a cyclic thought proccess driving you to do this.

There are books that can help you with this. Break out a load of cash and buy as many of those books as you can. Just kidding.

Seriously, get some books relating to that subject. Obsessive spending books are out there.

You are focusing on how you want to feel today, and it is making you feel misrible for tommorow, amirite?

So focus on tommorow, so you can be happy tommorow, then the next tommorow, ect.

Sorry dude, I can’t afford to go out to lunch today I am broke. (Bring own lunch)

Minimize addictions and spending. Replace with cheep or free activities to fill in the gaps, for the win.

thanks. I actually like reading self help books. I’ll go sit in a B&N and read them instead of purchasing them. It will be something "free" to do.
I’m doing good so far. Staying within my $10 a day. Last weekend I only purchased a fridge (which i think is excuseable. I mean, i gotta eat.) and went out to dinner once. Today I have tomorrow’s money in my pocket. I plan on spending around $6-7 for lunch so i can get a double shot @ starbizzle as well.
Learn how to cook exotic foods. Not only will you spend less then going out, but you’re learning an awesome skill that will impress people and will take up time to do. This will keep you busy, and after a while you’ll laugh at your friends that pay $15 for a shitty meal at Fridays and you can cook enough for your lunch the next day as well. Plus it’ll put your new fridge to good use.
I personally don’t agree with medication.

Learning to cook is a great way to get yourself away from those kinds of urges.

I think you really need to work yourself off of starbucks. It’s a bad habit and you really don’t need it. I guess that’s easy for me since I don’t need caffeine in my body, but if you need doubleshots, then i guess one a day isn’t bad.

What I usually do for lunch when I work is a bring a bagel with some cream cheese with me. It’s nice and cheap and it’s fast. Lunch should not be a big thing. I know it’s a social thing, but even find yourself getting just water and something to snack on. Eat a nice healthy breakfast so that you won’t be so hungry for lunch. It will save you a lot of money >.<

when you have days when you have extra money, dont look at it like extra to spend another day, look at it like its gone anyways. I put my leftover 1’s and 5’s into my change jar with the rest of my change. Just helps with the money management stuff.
as far as bigger purchases go. I do my homework online. then I check it out in a store if possible. then.. I sleep on it .. at least a night. most of the time its more like 2-3.
ex: A wall mount for my monitor. 150 bones for the one i like. Ive been sleeping on it for a couple days now. Just not really sure that I "need" it right now. want the money to go towards some vacation time with my girlie instead.

I personally don’t agree with medication.

Learning to cook is a great way to get yourself away from those kinds of urges.

I think you really need to work yourself off of starbucks. It’s a bad habit and you really don’t need it. I guess that’s easy for me since I don’t need caffeine in my body, but if you need doubleshots, then i guess one a day isn’t bad.

What I usually do for lunch when I work is a bring a bagel with some cream cheese with me. It’s nice and cheap and it’s fast. Lunch should not be a big thing. I know it’s a social thing, but even find yourself getting just water and something to snack on. Eat a nice healthy breakfast so that you won’t be so hungry for lunch. It will save you a lot of money >.<

I was only suggested that he go see a doc and get tested for ADD/ADHD…not that he just start taking medication all willy nilly.
Jesus christ. I’m right back to where i started. I went to mammoth for the weekend.

Bad idea. I’m broke until the 1st. how sad is that. that’s a freaking week. wow. go me. I just purchased groceries. So it looks like spending nothing until then.

I am jack’s dissapointment.

I did fine for the first month. Then i brought out the debit card instead of using cash. It didn’t work. I went on a vacation & went crazy. I hate these stupid fucking cycles. I need a self punishment or something. This is crazy!
I think learning to cook is a good idea. Also LEAVE the debit and credit card at home if you have to…
Start investing your money. That is how I overcame my spending habits. It really is an addiction when you have the money right there. Investing my money gives me the same satisfaction + it’s the best thing you can do with your money. Learning to cook helps a lot too. Once you can cook a good meal, you wont want to eat out anymore.
IMO your financial woes have more to do with emotional issues then they have to do with money. Suze Orman is a pro at detailing the links between our emotions and our financial woes. People think, ahh that just horse shit…if I had more money I wouldn’t have these problems. However, there are many people used to feel this same way and their problems only worsened.

Sure, if you have zero income and don’t live with your parents, then ya, you need more money. HOwever, your problems don’t sound like that sort…they sound like you could actually manage to live off what you make but your spending is out of control. If that is true, you’ll have to get ahold of your financial problems or they will get ahold of you.

First thing, stop beating yourself up for making poor choices. Everyone fucks up from time to time. The point is, when you fuck up, don’t compound the mistake by continuing to spend. Realize you fucked up again and forgive yourself…then start again.

Next, you must develop a plan. Cutting up your CC’s and punishing yourself may work for a time but just like anyone that’s ever been repeatedly punished by their parents, you will rebel. In fact, I think you already have to some extent. Suze Orman and others are great at providing very practical advice on turning around your finances.

Next, the WORK you must do to change your financial picture is not nearly as fun as blowing loads of cash and living like a pimp. So, it’s important that in your plan you have some money set aside to blow. As you learn to create a budget and live with it, you learn that you can actually budget wild and crazy expenses…but you’ll also know that you can afford it. Right now you can’t.

Debt Free and Prosperous Living is a tape program (buy from ebay or Amazon) that really helped me. Also Consumer Credit Counseling Service (check your local phone book) is an organization that offers free financial advice to people struggling to live on what they make. They can help you make a budget and provide support while you work your way out of these problems. Also…as was previously suggested, Barnes and Noble have great books as well as your public library.

ONe truly awesome book is called The Richest Man in Babylon. You should be able to find it anywhere but it’s only $7 from amazon. It’s a very easy to read book but it’s got incrediblly powerful ideas inside it.

Stay away from get rich quick schemes and fast cash schemes. You need solid financial advice from people that have been there/done that. There are many free resources available to you…whether you choose to use them or not will be the difference between letting life happen to you or you taking control of your life.

It’s not easy, it’s damn sure not sexy but I can assure you, it’s worth all the effort.

Good Luck and God Bless.

IMO your financial woes have more to do with emotional issues then they have to do with money. Suze Orman is a pro at detailing the links between our emotions and our financial woes. People think, ahh that just horse shit…if I had more money I wouldn’t have these problems. However, there are many people used to feel this same way and their problems only worsened.

Sure, if you have zero income and don’t live with your parents, then ya, you need more money. HOwever, your problems don’t sound like that sort…they sound like you could actually manage to live off what you make but your spending is out of control. If that is true, you’ll have to get ahold of your financial problems or they will get ahold of you.

First thing, stop beating yourself up for making poor choices. Everyone fucks up from time to time. The point is, when you fuck up, don’t compound the mistake by continuing to spend. Realize you fucked up again and forgive yourself…then start again.

Next, you must develop a plan. Cutting up your CC’s and punishing yourself may work for a time but just like anyone that’s ever been repeatedly punished by their parents, you will rebel. In fact, I think you already have to some extent. Suze Orman and others are great at providing very practical advice on turning around your finances.

Next, the WORK you must do to change your financial picture is not nearly as fun as blowing loads of cash and living like a pimp. So, it’s important that in your plan you have some money set aside to blow. As you learn to create a budget and live with it, you learn that you can actually budget wild and crazy expenses…but you’ll also know that you can afford it. Right now you can’t.

Debt Free and Prosperous Living is a tape program (buy from ebay or Amazon) that really helped me. Also Consumer Credit Counseling Service (check your local phone book) is an organization that offers free financial advice to people struggling to live on what they make. They can help you make a budget and provide support while you work your way out of these problems. Also…as was previously suggested, Barnes and Noble have great books as well as your public library.

ONe truly awesome book is called The Richest Man in Babylon. You should be able to find it anywhere but it’s only $7 from amazon. It’s a very easy to read book but it’s got incrediblly powerful ideas inside it.

Stay away from get rich quick schemes and fast cash schemes. You need solid financial advice from people that have been there/done that. There are many free resources available to you…whether you choose to use them or not will be the difference between letting life happen to you or you taking control of your life.

It’s not easy, it’s damn sure not sexy but I can assure you, it’s worth all the effort.

Good Luck and God Bless.

I like the advice but buying books is counter-intuitive to what he wants to do.

go to the library! If you’re not illiterate (which we know you’re not..) find some books that interest you.. finance, science. history etc and read… tape your feet to the bed and read all weekend.

Library books are free if you turn them back in on time.

Seriously.. I’m horrible with money.. I actually use Paypal to help manage my finances… How? Easy.. the money is there if I need it, but the key word is need. Do I need to think about spending it when I can’t access it? Yes. but the fact it takes 3-4 days to get at makes it a lot easier to 2nd guess what I am doing.

FYI I found a ‘budget per day’ is a bad idea, but a budget for the week is more reasonable. It allows you to go out on friday night and be cheap Sunday/Mon.. when the money’s gone I just suck it up and live off the change in my car.
you need a hobby dude.

Computer games and a love for movies have allowed me to live as cheaply as possible through college so far ( but actually most of all it’s OT )… you’re past that stage yet a hobby could work the same for you. You don’t ahve to be a penny pincher and you can still go out and do things you want to do.. but you have to be comfortable with what you’ve got and be able to enjoy it, otherwise what’s the point of having anything?

I like the advice but buying books is counter-intuitive to what he wants to do.

go to the library! If you’re not illiterate (which we know you’re not..) find some books that interest you.. finance, science. history etc and read… tape your feet to the bed and read all weekend.

Library books are free if you turn them back in on time.

I mentioned library books and barnes and nobel is free….just don’t buy the book.

However, The Richest Man in Babylon is cheep and it’s such a good book that anyone having financial difficulties should make it a part of their permanent library. It’s worth every penny….and one can prolly find it even cheeper at used bookstores.

One of the things that really helped me start turning my financial world around was when I sold something I didn’t "need" and used that money to buy something that I believed would help me…..Anthony Robins tape program called "Personal Power". I literally couldn’t afford it but I saw it as an important program and something that could help me….if only I worked at it. It was the start of my turn around….and it was by no means a magic bullet. It was however a start.
Well this weekend is winding down and I have a few things on the "to do" list, and some changes that will be beneficial. I’m going to spend two weekends a month at my dad’s house. I have a baby brother & Sister that turn 2 in June. I figure if i’m at home, i never spend $ & hanging with the twins is fun. ( I feel a little old for saying that, but what can you do?)

I get paid on Wed. So I am going to buy that babalon book & start back up. I think my failure this time was going to Mammoth. When I go on trips I tend to forget how much I can, and cannoth spend. I had the right idea when i went to Vegas in December, when i left everything at home and only brought a little cash and my ID.

I also know i fucked up with my last "budget" I allowed myself $50 a week but didn’t allot for the weekend. $10 a day is perfect for Mon-Friday. I ususally spend less then $10 & put the change in a jar for added savings/emergency fund type stuff. So this time arround I’ll give the two weekends i’m not at my dad’s a $50 budget. I figure that’s more then enough. I could do quite a bit on that. That’s a budget that’s $300 a month… not bad. I’ll give it a go. I hope that spending bug doesn’t hit me this time arround. I just need to take it easy! BAH!

thanks for the advice. I am beating myself up when i just need to grow up and realize what i’m doing. I’m throwing myself a pity party when i should just find my flaws and DESTROY THEM.

Hope everyone’s weekend is going well.

edit:

thanks! Same to you!

I mentioned library books and barnes and nobel is free….just don’t buy the book.

However, The Richest Man in Babylon is cheep and it’s such a good book that anyone having financial difficulties should make it a part of their permanent library. It’s worth every penny….and one can prolly find it even cheeper at used bookstores.

One of the things that really helped me start turning my financial world around was when I sold something I didn’t "need" and used that money to buy something that I believed would help me…..Anthony Robins tape program called "Personal Power". I literally couldn’t afford it but I saw it as an important program and something that could help me….if only I worked at it. It was the start of my turn around….and it was by no means a magic bullet. It was however a start.

I consider books a good investment too.

Some are worth buying, but the library is always free and older books are virtually always in stock, especally in the larger counties in the US.

I read all that shit. and Ive got your solution right here:

no joke. 15$ a month and you can serisouly save your life financially if you get addicted

Came here to post this. You wont want to leave your house. At least not until you take out Onyxia. Oh crap, it’s 2AM already? Bedtime.
You may want to see if there are any local self-help groups for shopping addiction.
If push comes to shove, you might have to move to a crappy small farm town with nothing around for miles. Then there won’t be anywhere for you to spend money at.
haha. I’m enjoying the warcraft crew. I was a big CS kid. If i go to a game it might be that one. But that goes back into purchasing crap that i might not want to. I’ll look into it though. I do try and keep myself @ places like alluc & peekvid.

I got paid today. Amazingly i said "no" to going out to lunch and went home and made lunch. (I live that close to work.) It’s amazing how hard it is for me to do that. I’m hoping i can just do that from here on out, maybe just going out a few days a week and that’s it. This weekend’s my birthday, which sucks. I know i’ll end up screwing myself over or something. I have plans on friday night & saturday -day & saturday-night.

Friday might be expensive. I’m thinking of bringing $50 in cash and my ID. Maybe even $40. Saturday won’t be too bad. During the day it’s the fam, so home cooked food. Sat night is w/ a girl…soo… we’ll see about that. I’m die hard against dutch.

For past reference what i’m doing on friday i normally spend arround $120… and saturday would be at a minimum of $80. So i’ve got high hopes for the weekend. I’m kinda fucking nervous about it. Hopefully i can pull of being cheaper.

I would also like to note that i crindged to the word cheaper when i typed it. What a fuckin’ problem i have.
Read my OCD about money thread. We must be opposites.
Well i’m doing good. I only spent around $50 this weekend.

To update my last post… on my birthday, my friends paid for my dinner, and leaving the restraunt i hurt a ligament in my knee, and i was also sick, so i just stayed at home and popped IB Profin & drank water.

Happily I have healed from both the sickness, the knee still hurts, and it’s most likely going to take another month for it to fully recover. But that’s another story.

This week I have purshed food for lunch. I don’t like going home to cook, so i’m bringing stuff in. I’m going to buy a rice cooker. I need more carbs in my diet….also another story. People at work told me they sell rice cookers at "Ranch 99" for under twenty bucks! So maybe for lunch tomorrow i’ll hunt it down. My hope is to not spend any cash this week, with the exception of the rice cooker, if i get it.

Okay peace and love! w000.
A way to slowly save money, and more realistically if you’re burning it up on the weekends despite your attempts on the weekdays..

Open up a savings account from another bank..if you have Wamu, then open up bofa, or Wells Fargo or Citibank..

The check card you get, shred it up. Every month or so when you have this feeling again of "i need to save" just transfer a good sum of money from your primary into this "reserve account" and because it is deposit only you wont need your check card. Have no checks, nothing, dont even write down your pin #. The only way to get everything is go through a long ass process with your ssn# but by that time you say "screw this."

Thats a very basic way to start saving money and not spending it like theres no tomorrow.

Then once that nestegg becomes big enough, go invest it and let it grow (let it become non-liquid so you can’t take it out and burn it as quickly).
whats an ING account?

I read all that shit. and Ive got your solution right here:

no joke. 15$ a month and you can serisouly save your life financially if you get addicted

soooooo true
Well i’d like to thank everyone first off. Between last month and this month, i’ll have over $1000 in savings. I was hoping for more but I can’t be too mad at myself.

I can’t relly decifer where i turned arround. I did open another checking/savings account with citi-bank. The check card to access that account is 50 miles from me right now, and honestly, i don’t feel like i’m ever going to go pick it up.

My first goal of savings is hitting $16k in a savings account. This is equal to how much i actually need to live for 6 months. After that I guess I can save up for big-fun stuff like a new car or another motorcycle .

The itch to buy stuff is fucking crazy though. And when I save, it just adds up. I can probably write like fifteen fucking things that cost $100-250 that I want right fucking now. But alas I’m not buying them.

Anyway, all is well at the home front. I’ll let you know when I hit bigger numbers

OH I also forgot to say, i turn 25 in March next year. I started a extra savings for that. I’m going to get a suite & shit in vegas for a weekend, and for some reason, i LOVE puting money in that savings spot.

Love&Peace
stuff. keep going.

Did you end up reading "the richest man in babylon"?

Well i’d like to thank everyone first off. Between last month and this month, i’ll have over $1000 in savings. I was hoping for more but I can’t be too mad at myself.

I can’t relly decifer where i turned arround. I did open another checking/savings account with citi-bank. The check card to access that account is 50 miles from me right now, and honestly, i don’t feel like i’m ever going to go pick it up.

My first goal of savings is hitting $16k in a savings account. This is equal to how much i actually need to live for 6 months. After that I guess I can save up for big-fun stuff like a new car or another motorcycle .

The itch to buy stuff is fucking crazy though. And when I save, it just adds up. I can probably write like fifteen fucking things that cost $100-250 that I want right fucking now. But alas I’m not buying them.

Anyway, all is well at the home front. I’ll let you know when I hit bigger numbers

OH I also forgot to say, i turn 25 in March next year. I started a extra savings for that. I’m going to get a suite & shit in vegas for a weekend, and for some reason, i LOVE puting money in that savings spot.

Love&Peace

That is awesome to hear man. Keep up the great work! It’s always awesome to see someone turning their life around for the better.

Good luck man!
Update:

i’m -80 on checking. got sick of it all and cut my credit cards up. I’ve been smiling ever since. I also turned 25 and feel like a retard for not being mature about my future.

I’ve also never done this before, it’s way easy and it’ll prob. help me out more then anything else I’ve done:

I calculated all my "costs" for the next month and took them out of my paycheck (that i get tonight/tomorrow) I’m going to put half in another savings account and take out a little cash a week. I had some unforeseen costs lately so I’m back to where i started I’m doing my taxes this weekend, so whatever i get back I’m also putting in savings for a "emergency fun."

I feel like this is a better start then before. I know how much i have per week, how much i would like to spend per day and can hopefully have a base to have savings.

I hope everyone has a great st. P. weekend.

I think you’ve got a pretty good plan, except for this part.
**I couldnt tell if you actually meant "emergency FUN" or "emergency FUND" – the part below only applies if you meant FUN.**

Take your tax return, deposit it in your other savings account and then FORGET ABOUT IT. Think about it this way: Ideally, you’d have enough to cover that "emergency fun" anyway, without the tax return, right? Its not like your tax return is the same every year, reliable like a paycheck, etc, so I dont think you (or anyone) should count on it for anything. If you need it, great, but dont PLAN on it for anything. Does that make sense?

**If you meant FUND, well, good idea**
When I got engaged I told my wife to be that I had one condition.
That she completely controlled the finances. I said I wanted her in charge of everything. I would come to her for money and stuff I wanted to buy and it would be her job to say Yay! or Nay! to it.

She is really good with finances. She had a savings account of $9 grand when we met. She has great credit. Worries about making bills. Knows when she can spend and cannot.
She said of course.

I went to work, went to HR and had my paycheck auto-deposited to her account.

I haven’t looked back since.

Update:

i’m -80 on checking. got sick of it all and cut my credit cards up. I’ve been smiling ever since. I also turned 25 and feel like a retard for not being mature about my future.

I’ve also never done this before, it’s way easy and it’ll prob. help me out more then anything else I’ve done:

I calculated all my "costs" for the next month and took them out of my paycheck (that i get tonight/tomorrow) I’m going to put half in another savings account and take out a little cash a week. I had some unforeseen costs lately so I’m back to where i started I’m doing my taxes this weekend, so whatever i get back I’m also putting in savings for a "emergency fun."

I feel like this is a better start then before. I know how much i have per week, how much i would like to spend per day and can hopefully have a base to have savings.

I hope everyone has a great st. P. weekend.

Don’t give up….Don’t ever give up…..NEVER QUIT TRYING!!

I’m glad to hear that you cut up your credit cards and you’re trying again. It’s ok that you are right back where you started….stay the course…..you’re learning and growing and eventually, you’ll overcome this but only if you keep working at it.

You might also try to expand your knowledge of personal finance. In previous posts I’ve mentioned books and people that have been an invaluable help to me in my journey to grow up.

Oh and just so you know, I was a total mess financially until I started working full time at age 27. Yes, I lived paycheck to paycheck for many years after this because it takes time to turn the financial ship around.

So be patient and educate yourself. Go to the library and check out books on personal finance. Get the tapes, watch the videos and TV shows on personal finance. Learn what successful people do and then copy them.

Generating wealth is easy if you know the steps to take. However, it can be a real bitch to learn those steps and how to apply them. So keep trying and don’t ever quit and you will find the financial independence that so many crave.

Good luck.
so an update… i diced up my three cards. I’m getting way more then i expected from taxes. So 2 of 3 will be paid off and i’ll slowly pay the 3rd one off. I’ll have $ left over after the first two are even paid off as well which will go into that savings account that won’t get touched.

quite excited to say the least.
Sounds to me like you need to address your inner emptiness instead of constantly buying shit.

so an update… i diced up my three cards. I’m getting way more then i expected from taxes. So 2 of 3 will be paid off and i’ll slowly pay the 3rd one off. I’ll have $ left over after the first two are even paid off as well which will go into that savings account that won’t get touched.

quite excited to say the least.

YAY!! Good for you

not shit

food.

thnx yo

tax return came in. I’m nervous. I need to go home and pay my card off stat! Before…. the urges come.

tax return came in. I’m nervous. I need to go home and pay my card off stat! Before…. the urges come.

Dooo eeet. If you can pay them electronically, do that. If not, write the checks and put them in the mailbox asap.

If you’re having trouble paying them, the likely cause is because you don’t associate the purchase with the payment. Credit cards are goofy like this….that’s why most people get in trouble with CCs because it’s soo easy to think I have X dollars in the bank so I can easily afford this item…I’ll just charge it.
I feel like I am going broke because I eat out for lunch every day I work, but, I don’t grocery shop anymore, so I think it evens out, if not put me more ahead. When I grocery shop, I spend, maybe 100 bucks a week. When I eat out for lunch, I spend maybe 5 or 6 bucks, times 5 is only 25 or 30 bucks a week. When I am home all day, I obviously eat more, so in turn, need more food. So, eating out for lunch is fine as long as you do it responsibly. Subway has 5 dollar foot longs, and they fill me up and I’m 6′ 250lbs. If you go to Olive Garden every day for lunch, thats another story.
subway $5 for a foot long? not where I live and I’m in the middle of the country also. I think you’re lying.

yea. advertising for this shit is errwerrr

but the line’s out the door.

i’ll be eating free food today at work (as we have tons of shit-food here) but i’m going on a date tonight….

We split the first date and I felt terrible doing it. How weird is that?

True story. I keep groceries to a min. of about $50 a week or so. Lunch for me I try and keep under $10. if i go over i don’t eat out the next day (IE i spent $15 yesterday, so technically i only have $5 for today…. so i choose to eat my work food has a cost of $0.00 )

Yup, because I have so much to gain by lying about Subway foot long sandwiches……

Its going on here too. I’m not a big fan of subway, but for 5 bucks I’ve been considering it lately.

Yup, because I have so much to gain by lying about Subway foot long sandwiches……

Well of course there is a lot to gain by lying about it. Do you honestly think that people that get into financial difficulties are being HONEST with themselves? Fuck no they aren’t.

honestly valuing the things we buy is a HUGE issue when people are trying to straighten out their finances. People distort and lie about the true value of things all the time.

So a $6.50 sammich starts costing about $5. The extra $1.50? Well….it’s not that much. Now this seems like a silly example but it’s not. I’ve seen very similar arguments when people are dealing with much larger sums.

And sure…it looks like they’re running a special but the point I’m making is still valid. So specifically what is to be gained by lying? Well one gets to continue their lifestyle blaming other factors and never addressing the fact that they have the power to change things.
won $100 at work.

that covers my lunch & mah date tonite. w00t.

Well of course there is a lot to gain by lying about it. Do you honestly think that people that get into financial difficulties are being HONEST with themselves? Fuck no they aren’t.

honestly valuing the things we buy is a HUGE issue when people are trying to straighten out their finances. People distort and lie about the true value of things all the time.

So a $6.50 sammich starts costing about $5. The extra $1.50? Well….it’s not that much. Now this seems like a silly example but it’s not. I’ve seen very similar arguments when people are dealing with much larger sums.

And sure…it looks like they’re running a special but the point I’m making is still valid. So specifically what is to be gained by lying? Well one gets to continue their lifestyle blaming other factors and never addressing the fact that they have the power to change things.

Or…. the sandwich is actually 5 fucking dollars

date went well. I didn’t ball out, but i did go over my supposed budget by like $60. i need to recall the dread of being broke now, I think this is what’s hard to capture. I have no expenses… and money in the bank, so i have this overwhelming urge to go do something or spend. it’s ridiculous.

So I think this week i’ll try and stay out of the lunch outings as much as possible, which will even out my spending on the weekend. We’ll see. I forgot to mail out a few checks..but i should be able to square off everything today.

date went well. I didn’t ball out, but i did go over my supposed budget by like $60. i need to recall the dread of being broke now, I think this is what’s hard to capture. I have no expenses… and money in the bank, so i have this overwhelming urge to go do something or spend. it’s ridiculous.

So I think this week i’ll try and stay out of the lunch outings as much as possible, which will even out my spending on the weekend. We’ll see. I forgot to mail out a few checks..but i should be able to square off everything today.

How did you go over your budget? As in, did you order something more expensive? Decide to do something different than planned? What happend?

I think the who "even out the spending on the week" additude is a bad one to have…you spend, then justify it by planning on holding back in the future, but when you actually get to the future (ie, a coworker asks you to go out to lunch with them this week) you dont go through with your plan and say no, because, well, you can just cut out something else down the line…vicious cycle…

And mail the damn checks!!!

Is that seriously a good deal? 1) a footlong is a lot of food for one meal, and 2) the normal price for most footlongs is only a buck or two more.

How did you go over your budget? As in, did you order something more expensive? Decide to do something different than planned? What happend?

I think the who "even out the spending on the week" additude is a bad one to have…you spend, then justify it by planning on holding back in the future, but when you actually get to the future (ie, a coworker asks you to go out to lunch with them this week) you dont go through with your plan and say no, because, well, you can just cut out something else down the line…vicious cycle…

And mail the damn checks!!!

checks in the mail.

as for the spending over the weekend, I just need to budget how much "fun" is. I don’t know what to set that at. I guess I’ll have to work that out.

As for co-worker lunch, I don’t need that. that’s a want. Turning off want’s is what I am currently working on.

As for an update, I’ve started to feel the change. I think learning to carry over the "fear" of broke-ness when I have money is key. As for last weekend, the more I look at it, the more it feels fine. I want to focus on having fun at things I can do that aren’t that much. It’s all about changing my mindset. If I were to take the day off from work, how am I to enjoy it without spending. I have SO much nearby that I’m ignoring. Baby steps, baby.

As for this week, I feel like I’m going over but I’m rly not. I’m fine and still within my budget. I just have fear for weekends and what they can cause me to do. Learning to stay home…is difficult.
1. Develop a fear of being broke.

2. Nourish this fear to the point that simply thinking about spending money sends you into a panic.

3. Profit.

I am a fucking cheapass. I don’t go out downtown because I can’t afford it. Ok, I’m lying. I can afford it, but I don’t want to, because going out and spending $15 per drink is fucking lame. I can’t justify spending $50-100 in one night because "what if I have to quit my job? What if I get fired? What if I can’t find a job?" I might need the $15 from that drink to buy me a few meals at Wendy’s. I don’t go to nice places to eat because fast food is cheaper and spending $50 on a meal is pointless when you’re getting the same amount of calories that you could get for $4 someplace else.

its a promotion they are running

checks in the mail.

You might want to consider paying your bills by phone with a check – some places might charge you, but most don’t, and the money is whisked out of your account faster than a blink. No waiting for mail or a person depositing the check.

You will come to love watching your savings grow, and then you can spend it on things that will benefit you, like a home, or savings for retirement instead of "stuff."
I’m someone that became accustomed to eating out every day, buying my morning cappuccino and various small stuff, but it does add up. Looking at my online bank statements became torture when I added up the numbers of unnecessary purchases.

To combat it, I make myself a lunch every night before I go to bed with enough food to cover my lunch, snack and what I’m going to eat as I’m rushing out the door. If you have the use of a microwave at work, you can bring a larger variety of items. Having a locker or place at work where you can store items is really helpful. You can stock up on things like tea or store a spill proof container for the day instead of buying drinks constantly.

I know we all need our early morning coffee rush and star bucks is convenient, but if you have a coffee maker with a timer on it, you can set it to brew before you wake up and make a cup as you head out the door in your spill proof container.

The best part about taking a lunch is that you eat a lot healthier, and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Getting started seemed to be the hardest. I didn’t have a proper lunch bag, tupperware like containers to store food and lunch friendly groceries. But once i got going and developed a routine it all started falling together.

The social aspect of going out with your friends for lunch is always a problem, but you could simply let them know you brought a lunch but are willing to take it with you and eat with them in whatever food court area you end up in. If your not strong enough for even that or are embarrassed at being the only one not buying anything, then kindly decline but try and find time to socialize later.

Take it a step at a time. Don’t shop out of boredom, to relieve stress or feel better about yourself. Plan out exactly what you need before you go shopping and buy only what you need. A bargain is only a bargain if you actually need the item. DON’T USE YOUR CREDIT CARDS! They should only be used for emergencies or if you can’t pay any other way. I’m a huge fan on online banking. I pay all my bills there, as well as have a separate bank account with higher interest specifically for savings. (transfers are free) It makes it seem like you have less money on that main account you use for bill paying and interac transactions so you become more aware of spending when the balance seems low.

Lol at wow subscription. It’s true.
Well I get paid on Friday and I still have money in the bank. Crazy I say. I’ve come to realize that I just can’t make the money accessible. Cutting my cards was the best thing for me to do. I only have one left to pay off which is awesome.

I feel my wants adding up though. I’ll be bored at work and end up ordering a woot or WM item that I think is a total steal, but can live without. I have moderately more then I have in the past; where I’d order like 5 things a week. Now it’s like once a month, and hopefully less in the future.

My lunch outings have gone down super-significantly due to me being fat and starting to diet. If I’m able to stay on my diet, I’m able to keep a lot more in the bank. This goes beyond eating at lunch, this is outings at midnight when i have a craving for a burger or a steak.

Now I’ve been looking into monthly bills that I pay. I think i should move, because my rent is astronomical, and I was also thinking of switching phone companies. I pay $86 a month, only use 250 daytime minutes and at most $300 weekend minutes, and 500ish text messages. I’m overpaying, but with t-mobile, it can only be lowered $20 a month for their lowest plan.

I know sprint has that employee plan they talk about on here that’s like $30 a month, but I think sprint sucks last I had it (in 2001)… Plus there’s the initial costs that are always annoying. I’d have to buy a new phone… I’d most likely have to pay 2 bills in one month. It wouldn’t be fun. We’ll see.

But it’s been a good run since I started this. I have lasted up to 8 days without spending a single $. I don’t think I’ll be able to pass that due to my motorcycle being out of commission right now and my car’s MPG sucking.

Thanks for the advice and the fellow thoughts on going through this from the rest of you. I’m glad I’m not alone.

Also, i totally watched that movie Maxxed Out. totally Awe inspiring.

Oh, and we’re probably going to cancel our TV cable soon and switch to streaming TV from the Internetz
i think i read nearly every post of this thread. i think it would be more effective to discover the exact nature of the source of the spending urges, than to try this or that solution to recover from the spending (or alternates to the spending).
this is what i did to help save some money.

Put all my money into the savings account so it earns interest. Then have ur check card not be ablet o access the Savings.

setup an automatic transfer to put $10 into ur checking every day that way u have money incase u need it but its not alot either.

that way you budget your day around that much $. When you need groceries/gas/etc Go to a bank take out the money you need. Then keep the change as extra $ to spend. you’ll save alot and make a little money too

Also track your expenses, I’m starting to do this and I plan on just paying everything i need putting a certain amount into term deposit and keeping the rest as floating cash with that method.

I bring lunch to work but usually eat it before lunch is there. So i eat out too, I spend about $10/day at work for food. So an hour of work goes to food and 9 hours goes towards income.

It’s hard but just limit yourself.

Microsoft Money 2007 ftw! ive been using it since 2005, and it really puts your spending into prospective with all the graphs charts and reports it can put out.
Everyone has their vices. Gambling and physical addictions are no problem for me, but like you I have a spending addiction.

I have my savings and investments, and then whatever I make from work or side jobs I keep in a checking account that I see as free money. It’s only got about $2k in it right now and I keep looking at places like slickdeals for what I want to buy.

I think it would help you if you put most of your money into investments. Either stocks or a CD. Something that takes more effort for you to withdraw from. And just keep a little bit in a debit account.
The topic doesn’t really make sense to me though. It sounds more like an ADD thread. But maybe you do have ADD and if so, reckless addictive behavior is one of the symptoms.
i saw something like this in a movie once and all you have to do is…Stop it !

i don’t believe in add

but you’re probably right.

I can’t just stop, as i’ve tried SO many times. I am slowing down considerably, and catching myself sooner lately.

but you’re very right.

Everyone has their vices. Gambling and physical addictions are no problem for me, but like you I have a spending addiction.

I have my savings and investments, and then whatever I make from work or side jobs I keep in a checking account that I see as free money. It’s only got about $2k in it right now and I keep looking at places like slickdeals for what I want to buy.

I think it would help you if you put most of your money into investments. Either stocks or a CD. Something that takes more effort for you to withdraw from. And just keep a little bit in a debit account.

the hard to get to CD is a brilliant Idea. thanks.
I’m opening a CD tonight.

I’m going to do an ING 6 month. I’m a little nervous. Anything I should know? It doesn’t look like I need a minimum balance for it.
I AM THE EXACT SAME WAY.. lunch, omg I cannot pass it up! lol i just stare at what I don’t have in the house to eat or at work and go out to lunch. if i’m bored, i call a friend and say hey wanna go to lunch? i spend so much money on stuff that doesn’t get me anywhere, or that i have nothing to show for how much money i get. i’m only 18 and make $11.20 an hour, whereas everyone around here makes about $7. I make really good money for my age, plus time and a half on sundays. I make more money in one 12-hour workweek than some of my friends working like 30+ a week for 2 weeks worth of pay. I have all this money, but it drains within a couple days of getting the money. I get paid every week. I thought it was some girly disease of always shopping, but I’m glad I read this thread. I hope it helps. I’ll give an update of how I’m doing in 2 weeks! Lol this shall be interesting

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