dated 5 years… broke up about 3 1/2 months ago….. i have been fine til like last week… i don’t know what happened, just cracked. I miss him and everything about having a boyfriend. People say it’s because I haven’t found anyone else and I’m just lonely but I don’t think so…. I mean, I MISS HIM. Now he’s saying he’s enjoying being single and not being tied down. I don’t know how to get him back I think he would like to be back with me but can’t decide if it’s a good idea. He’s afraid of getting back into it and getting hurt again. We broke up mutually but he acts like I hurt him so bad. Help me get him back I don’t know what to do and I feel sick all the time now… he will barely talk to me.

1. Why did you break up? You say it was "mutual" but what were both of your reasons?

2. What do you mean "he’s saying he’s enjoying being single and not being tied down?" You are speaking with him?

You should not be speaking to or seeing him in any way. You need to move on, you ARE just lonely and missing the old comfort. Him saying he enjoys being single and not "tied down" is a bold choice of words and the fact that he’s ignoring you also means he wished you’d leave him alone. It’s pretty obvious he’s better off without you and you thought so 3 1/2 months ago so the only reason why you don’t feel that way now is because you see he is fine and moving on without you.

You need to focus your energy on getting out and meeting new men. Have you even tried doing that?
well its definitely early in the breakup stage so you are vulnerable to setbacks still. i know its hard; it was really hard on me. im assuming youre still young and honestly you have a lot more to gain and learn if you move on. im just speaking from experience
Just as an aside, I hope by mutual you don’t mean something along the lines of:

"I’m leaving you."
"Well FINE!"

‘cuz that’s not really mutual.

Why is he your ex now?
no, mutual means we were fighting every 5 seconds and we both just said "im done"

I love him and I want him back…he still talks to me and I know he would like me back but at the same time, I’m sure he is enjoying being single, just like I am… but I want him back.

Wow. I think iwywb is right, you miss the comfort. You’d have to in order to be willing to walk right back into that.
STOP TALKING TO HIM.

He’s not ready for a relationship with you and neither are you. Nothing would be different whatsoever if you got back together. Stop talking to him completely for 3 months, get out and actually meet new men ,and then come back and tell us if you still actually miss him or you just miss having a boyfriend.
FUCK! I don’t understand women… you were fighting every 5 seconds, why in God’s green Earth would you want to be with him? If I had a girlfriend that picked fights with me all the time I’d dump her ass. A bf/gf should be someone you can have fun with not fight all the time.

Read this over and over till it makes sense. You broke up with him because you were both unhappy being together. I’ll say it again: You were unhappy while you were with him, so you broke up.

Yes, it sucks right now, but it sucked then too, its just a different kind of suckage.

When most people are unhappy, they do something to change their situation (you were unhappy together, so the solution was to break up). Now, your unhappy being alone, so it seems like the simple solution would be to not be alone anymore. Therefor: Unhappy w/ him and unhappy alone = find someone else to be with (even a friend).

EDIT: I read back over that and it sounds really harsh, but right now, you need a good kick in the pants.
Go get some rebound sex… that’ll take your mind off of him.

That doesn’t always work.
I cant agree more with the coked up kitty avatar up there lol
Stop talking to her if you can, it will let him establish what hes lost if you have not stopped , then that is probably why he hasnt figured it out, or he has really just moved on.

In either case youre better off without him at least for the now.

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