Is it wrong for me to not go out with a girl based on her looks alone?

I worked at McDonalds up til a month ago when I graduated and got a real job doing jack shit at some times for $20 an hour
Anyway, there was this 18 year old girl there that wants my nuts basically. I like her as a person and shes got a nice personality but shes a bit overweight. Her one friend keeps telling me that she likes me and tells me to call her up.
Im probably not the best looking guy and Im no player or anything. Is it wrong of me to judge on looks?

Fast forward to last night. I went in to turn in some sort of paperwork they needed since I quit and her friend tells me that her dad just hung himself a week ago. This is the first thing Ive heard about this. Im really thinking about seeing if she wants to go out or something because I feel really sorry for what shes going through right now.

I just dont know what to do.
As far as dating, it’d be unfair to both of you if you had absolutely no physical attraction to her. Especially if it’s a pity date.

I dont know. Im so screwed up its not funny and I cant even get a date. I havent gotten any action in like 2 years. Now somebody is interested in me and I cant get past the fact that shes not really good looking or something. Even though a guy Im friends with told me one day that even hed fuck her, and hes got a really hot girlfriend.

I just think I have a problem with letting anyone get close to me. My dad used to beat me and I think that may have something to do with it
First of all…if you are not attracted to someone due to their looks…does not make you a bad person, it just means that that person is just not "your type".

Secondly, do NOT just go out with this girl out of sympathy. Right now she is probably very vulnerable and could possibly become way too attached to you which would create an even worse situation for her and you.

Just be a friend to her. Let her know you are there for her if she needs a friend, but make it VERY clear it is only friendship that you are offering her.

I dont know. Im so screwed up its not funny and I cant even get a date. I havent gotten any action in like 2 years. Now somebody is interested in me and I cant get past the fact that shes not really good looking or something. Even though a guy Im friends with told me one day that even hed fuck her, and hes got a really hot girlfriend.

I just think I have a problem with letting anyone get close to me. My dad used to beat me and I think that may have something to do with it

I guess I couldn’t tell you why you’re not attracted to her. It’s not wrong of you to judge on looks because like I said, there has to be some baseline physical attraction or a relationship of any kind won’t stand up. With that said, do you really not find her attractive in the slightest?

Either way, I still think a pity date is a terrible idea, though you could ask her if she wants to hang out as a friend. But that may get messy since she might be into you AND she’s vulnerable.
Problem is, yestderday I saw a girl about same type and I probably would have hit it, but since I know this one girl likes me, I dont know if Im making excuses or not so I dont have to get close to anyone. Im all screwed up. Its like Im always expecting people to hurt me now, so Im always very skiddish, sometimes even with my friends.

If you start off as friends with this girl and start getting close to her that way, who knows, you may actually become attracted to her in the future.

I was abused as a child and I also had problems with letting people get close to me (in fear of being hurt over and over again). Going to counseling really helped me out. Now I am a great mom of 3 beautiful children, an incredible nurse, and am currently with the best man in the world. None if this would have been possible if I had not gotten help. You really have to get yourself right and love yourself before you can get involved with anyone or else you are just doomed for hurt.
Profile pic. Im no Adonis

On the left

Seems reasonably attractive in the first pic… but that doesn’t alter what’s important which is YOUR attraction to her. If you think you have an issue with pushing people away, I’d make damn sure of it considering the feelings involved.
Thats not her in the first picture. Thats Unite my hatred’s sister. Shes in the 2nd pic. Im on the right in the first pic
LOL, that makes sense now. I dunno, she doesn’t seem like my physical type, but that is a horrible angle (I thought girls had this down to a hair now).
She looks more than a bit overweight to me.

If you’re not attracted to her, you’re not attracted to her. Plain and simple. don’t waste your time or hers.
Personally I don’t find you shallow or in the wrong. She’s not a "little overweight," she’s fat. I don’t respect that nor would I be attracted to it either, no matter what her personality.

I find it shallow to date someone solely based on ther looks (i.e. "that girl is a 10. She’s dumb a rocks and annoying…but a 10, and I’ll never get hotter).

You can’t help what you are attracted to. Never settle for anyone just because you are lonely or don’t think you can do any better.

Personally I don’t find you shallow or in the wrong. She’s not a "little overweight," she’s fat. I don’t respect that nor would I be attracted to it either, no matter what her personality.

I find it shallow to date someone solely based on ther looks (i.e. "that girl is a 10. She’s dumb a rocks and annoying…but a 10, and I’ll never get hotter).

You can’t help what you are attracted to. Never settle for anyone just because you are lonely or don’t think you can do any better.

I would steer clear from her, if her dad hung himself doesn’t mean you have to date her out of pity. my advice: don’t get involved not even one bit. Seriously.
people who keep in shape may be implicilty vain, but i’d prefer a girl with some vanity over one with poor self-discipline.
I’d stay away from that…. You could do much better
you’re definitely better looking than her.
she actually has a cute face though.. if she lost some weight i think she could be pretty hot.

Personally I don’t find you shallow or in the wrong. She’s not a "little overweight," she’s fat. I don’t respect that nor would I be attracted to it either, no matter what her personality.

I find it shallow to date someone solely based on ther looks (i.e. "that girl is a 10. She’s dumb a rocks and annoying…but a 10, and I’ll never get hotter).

You can’t help what you are attracted to. Never settle for anyone just because you are lonely or don’t think you can do any better.

Fuck yeah.

Would it be shallow to date someone based on the fact that I think our babies would be gorgeous? I mean, thats kinda natural instinct, isn’t it?

I worked at McDonalds up til a month ago when I graduated and got a real job doing jack shit at some times for $20 an hour
Anyway, there was this 18 year old girl there that wants my nuts basically. I like her as a person and shes got a nice personality but shes a bit overweight. Her one friend keeps telling me that she likes me and tells me to call her up.
Im probably not the best looking guy and Im no player or anything. Is it wrong of me to judge on looks?

Fast forward to last night. I went in to turn in some sort of paperwork they needed since I quit and her friend tells me that her dad just hung himself a week ago. This is the first thing Ive heard about this. Im really thinking about seeing if she wants to go out or something because I feel really sorry for what shes going through right now.

I just dont know what to do.

don’t go out with her because her dad killed himself

also, if you aren’t attracted to her, then you aren’t attracted to her. That’s the way it is

I dont know. Im so screwed up its not funny and I cant even get a date. I havent gotten any action in like 2 years. Now somebody is interested in me and I cant get past the fact that shes not really good looking or something. Even though a guy Im friends with told me one day that even hed fuck her, and hes got a really hot girlfriend.

I just think I have a problem with letting anyone get close to me. My dad used to beat me and I think that may have something to do with it

I’ve noticed many people who go a long long time without sex suddenly seem to raise their standards. Do you watch a lot of porn?

Personally I don’t find you shallow or in the wrong. She’s not a "little overweight," she’s fat. I don’t respect that nor would I be attracted to it either, no matter what her personality.

I find it shallow to date someone solely based on ther looks (i.e. "that girl is a 10. She’s dumb a rocks and annoying…but a 10, and I’ll never get hotter).

You can’t help what you are attracted to. Never settle for anyone just because you are lonely or don’t think you can do any better.

going out with someone soley because of their appearance is shallow, but it’s a valid criteria to date someone.
Looks can change, personality is the long term trait I’d be looking at. I guess at your age, looks played a bigger role in it than it does at my age now. Obviously, you have to be somewhat attracted to her. I mean, if you think shes ugly, shes ugly, and it won’t work. But, she doesn’t seem "ugly" to me, so if she has a great personality, Id stay friends with her and see where it goes. Heres a fun little thing from my graduating class from my old middle school in NY.

Hot chicks everyone wanted to date:
Chick 1: Has a mustache now. seriously.
Chick 2: Boney and anorexic looking.
Chick 3, 4, 5, and 6: Single, drinking every night.

"Ugly" chicks no one wanted.
Chick 1: Very pretty, married, 1 kid
Chick 2: Was fat, but lost a ton of weight. looks good.
Chick 3: Married to a good looking guy
Chick 4: Ugly turned into exotic model looking.

So, I wouldn’t base your jugement solely on her weight. I mean, you can lose weight. Maybe shes insecure about her weight, maybe she wants to lose weight, maybe she would be interested in playing tennis, going to the gym, or eating at an organic restaurant sometimes. I’m not saying date her and try to turn her skinny, but I’m saying chances are, she isn’t happy with her weight, and if you look past that and it turns out she’d love to have a gym partner or a tennis partner, maybe she could lose some weight. Once again though, I’m not saying date her and try to get her to go to the gym right away as a prerequisite….

Looks can change, personality is the long term trait I’d be looking at. I guess at your age, looks played a bigger role in it than it does at my age now. Obviously, you have to be somewhat attracted to her. I mean, if you think shes ugly, shes ugly, and it won’t work. But, she doesn’t seem "ugly" to me, so if she has a great personality, Id stay friends with her and see where it goes. Heres a fun little thing from my graduating class from my old middle school in NY.

Hot chicks everyone wanted to date:
Chick 1: Has a mustache now. seriously.
Chick 2: Boney and anorexic looking.
Chick 3, 4, 5, and 6: Single, drinking every night.

"Ugly" chicks no one wanted.
Chick 1: Very pretty, married, 1 kid
Chick 2: Was fat, but lost a ton of weight. looks good.
Chick 3: Married to a good looking guy
Chick 4: Ugly turned into exotic model looking.

So, I wouldn’t base your jugement solely on her weight. I mean, you can lose weight. Maybe shes insecure about her weight, maybe she wants to lose weight, maybe she would be interested in playing tennis, going to the gym, or eating at an organic restaurant sometimes. I’m not saying date her and try to turn her skinny, but I’m saying chances are, she isn’t happy with her weight, and if you look past that and it turns out she’d love to have a gym partner or a tennis partner, maybe she could lose some weight. Once again though, I’m not saying date her and try to get her to go to the gym right away as a prerequisite….

Dating someone hoping they’ll change is always a recipe for disaster, no matter what the circumstances.

If he feels no attraction for her, then he should not date her. Be friends? Certainly. If at a later time an attraction develops, then he should date her.

Dating someone hoping they’ll change is always a recipe for disaster, no matter what the circumstances.

If he feels no attraction for her, then he should not date her. Be friends? Certainly. If at a later time an attraction develops, then he should date her.

.

. For the rest as well
don’t do it
i did it once trying to be a nice guy
we knew alot of the same people and i became the asshole that just fucked their friend and didnt care about her

bad news either way, once you realize its not what YOU want its too late to get out of it easy lol

don’t do it
i did it once trying to be a nice guy
we knew alot of the same people and i became the asshole that just fucked their friend and didnt care about her

bad news either way, once you realize its not what YOU want its too late to get out of it easy lol

Yep. Been there done that

Didn’t end badly for anyone. Just don’t go there. Unless there is some physical, as well as mental/emotional connection it will not end well.
If you feel shes great in all other aspects and her looks are the ONLY reason holding you back, in my opinion thats a bit shallow, but like i said, in my opinion. You cant help who you are attracted to. I personally think there is more to a person than looks.

Now if (not saying this is the case in your situation) if someone wont date another person, even though they like them and there is an attraction, but because they think they will get shit from others as the person they like is not up to societies standards, thats bullshit.

I think shes cute.

If you feel shes great in all other aspects and her looks are the ONLY reason holding you back, in my opinion thats a bit shallow, but like i said, in my opinion. You cant help who you are attracted to. I personally think there is more to a person than looks.

Now if (not saying this is the case in your situation) if someone wont date another person, even though they like them and there is an attraction, but because they think they will get shit from others as the person they like is not up to societies standards, thats bullshit.

I think shes cute.

your second case does denote shallowness. The first case doesn’t. Someone’s appearance is a prime factor in whether or not you find them attractive. If you don’t, then it’s not shallow to not want to date them. Why on earth would someone date someone they weren’t attracted to?

The only reasons I can think of for that are all shallow reasons (money, etc).

In your second case, where someone likes and is attracted to someone, but won’t date them because they’re worried what others think, then that is shallow (in most cases).
oh, and I think she’s horrendously ugly and wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole
No problem here; half of my criteria for someone is based entirely on looks.

Haha, coming from the guy with the pinkey anime chick that looks like she was attacked by a bag of skittles in his avatar, lol.

anime?

Also, you should see my fiancee

If you feel shes great in all other aspects and her looks are the ONLY reason holding you back, in my opinion thats a bit shallow, but like i said, in my opinion. You cant help who you are attracted to. I personally think there is more to a person than looks.

Now if (not saying this is the case in your situation) if someone wont date another person, even though they like them and there is an attraction, but because they think they will get shit from others as the person they like is not up to societies standards, thats bullshit.

I think shes cute.

You’re attracted or you’re not. Even if their looks are the sole factor holding you back, if you just don’t find yourself interested in them, then you don’t. There’s no shallowness to that.

If he hated everything else about her BUT her looks, THAT would be shallow.

She’s kinda gross, by the way.

Who cares if you’re shallow or not. You only live once so do what makes you happy. Just be nice to her and be a friend. But you really should take her pics off this forum. She’ll probably never see them but you never know whose on this forum that may no her through school or whatever.

anime?

Also, you should see my fiancee

k

since this is the Asylum, he’s relatively safe

It’s the principle of that matter. Do you really think she’d want her picture on a public forum like this on the net? Chances are she wouldn’t so it’s disrespectful to do so.
NEVER pity date anyone, for any reason. It just wastes both your time and the other person’s, and someone ends up getting hurt. With her father having just passed away, this is the worst time to even get involved in anyway.
Not dating her based on looks alone is the most shallow, fucked up thing ever.

Looks shouldn’t matter. Hang out with her. Get to know her. If you like her PERSONALITY then date her for that. Looks will fade… You could date a skinny 10 and after a year she could gain weight, stop wearing makeup and "let herself go" or that same skinny chick could have a world of issues and you could find her in a puddle of vomit on your bathroom floor. Dating a chubby chick with low self esteem will actually help IMPROVE her self esteem and who knows, she could be hot in a few years but why the fuck does it matter?

I hate shallow OTers.
Also ask yourself this – Are you worried about YOURSELF getting judged for liking/dating a "fat chick" or are you honestly not attracted to anything about her?

Not dating her based on looks alone is the most shallow, fucked up thing ever.

Looks shouldn’t matter. Hang out with her. Get to know her. If you like her PERSONALITY then date her for that. Looks will fade… You could date a skinny 10 and after a year she could gain weight, stop wearing makeup and "let herself go" or that same skinny chick could have a world of issues and you could find her in a puddle of vomit on your bathroom floor. Dating a chubby chick with low self esteem will actually help IMPROVE her self esteem and who knows, she could be hot in a few years but why the fuck does it matter?

I hate shallow OTers.

it’s not shallow to not date someone you feel no attraction for. Yes, personality matters – a lot. I’d say it matters more than appearance, but appearance does matter.

Would you date a really nice guy if he never showered, wiped his ass or cut his hair?

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