Well here it goes…..

3 years ago I joined the military to serve my 4 years and leave. Yesterday I think I’ve hit the bottom… I’ve had my heart broken twice in a matter of 2 years and both with circumstances i’ve brought upon myself. I am currently married but havn’t lived with my wife for the past 8 months. Around the 4th month of not living with my wife I volenteered for a event in texas and was an Instructor for a military course. During this time I met someone else…. a intelligent, beautiful, caring lady. She has a husband but they havn’t lived together for 2 years. Its because of job diffrences and such. The big problem is that i’m 22 and shes 39. We spent 3 months together everyday and we spoke about moving together in California in a couple months. Then….. I got deployed. Now we have to communicate on the phone and its really starting to take a toll on me. Lets fast forward to today…. she called me and basically told me that shes going to move back with her husband after 2 years…… My heart is so broken… The thing is she can’t stop talking to me.. and I can’t stop talking to her.

I didn’t even go through this when I Left my wife.

i guess i’m not looking for any help… I know what I have to do. But in truth i’m going to keep fighting to keep her and ultimatly end up destroying my soul. I’m just tred of being everyones second choice or "back up guy".

Thanks for lending me your mind…. Have a great day!
It sounds like a "fling" to me. She’s a middle-aged woman who probably doesn’t get much attention from men in her age group. She is looking for fun and she found it with you. Relationships with that much of an age difference typically don’t last in the long term.

I had a relationship once with a single mother in her early 30’s while I was in my early 20’s. Although the sex was fun and amazing, the relationship didn’t last because we were in different places in our lifes. That and she had an 8 year old and a 10 year old kid and I wasn’t looking to settle down in my early 20’s.

You’re still young, don’t get crazy over 1 relationship. Enjoy it while it lasts but realize that you will have several more relationships after this one until the day you grow old and die.
Your problem is that you don’t put order into the chaos. Look at your current life, and you will see that the overlapping situations are the cause of the problems which are currently messing up your life. , where you should keep things seperated. You should stop mixing them, because it makes you lose focus on what you want in life.

Its like having one leg in one swamp, and putting the other leg in another swamp, my advice: Only Do 1 thing(or swamp) at the time, finish what you start. Life sometimes is about falling, and then standing up and moving on again.

For instance with your ex-wife, whereas you keep the situation lingering and then see another woman you’re putting too much hay on your fork. Of course you want company but you should have ended your old relationship and divorced her, then give time to heal yourself ,before you moved on into a new relationship.

Same counts for your deployment, your in the army with one leg, and in a relationship with the other leg, do you see what i mean that if you do both you get torn apart? Because you are being pulled to pieces by all these different situations you are in simultaniously. You want to be with your love BUT you can’t because you are being deployed by the army. My dear man GO ONE DIRECTION in your life at the time.

You must learn that you can’t have everything in life. But on the other hand you can be happy with what you have if you look back to appreciate it. Every choice that you make in life has consequenses attached to it.

Therefore before making a choice THINK: What risks and consequenses are there to any given choice. In this case this married woman, has an attachment which is the husband.

In the end your happyness or misery is the result of the personal choices you make in life, that’s why i press you on the heart not to think light of the choices you make in life. THINK before you do and MAKE UP YOUR MIND on what you want, before going for the kill. Only do 1 thing at the time. End what you start and start again if something ends.

Your problem is that you don’t put order into the chaos. Look at your current life, and you will see that the overlapping situations are the cause of the problems which are currently messing up your life. , where you should keep things seperated. You should stop mixing them, because it makes you lose focus on what you want in life.

Its like having one leg in one swamp, and putting the other leg in another swamp, my advice: Only Do 1 thing(or swamp) at the time, finish what you start. Life sometimes is about falling, and then standing up and moving on again.

For instance with your ex-wife, whereas you keep the situation lingering and then see another woman you’re putting too much hay on your fork. Of course you want company but you should have ended your old relationship and divorced her, then give time to heal yourself ,before you moved on into a new relationship.

Same counts for your deployment, your in the army with one leg, and in a relationship with the other leg, do you see what i mean that if you do both you get torn apart? Because you are being pulled to pieces by all these different situations you are in simultaniously. You want to be with your love BUT you can’t because you are being deployed by the army. My dear man GO ONE DIRECTION in your life at the time.

You must learn that you can’t have everything in life. But on the other hand you can be happy with what you have if you look back to appreciate it. Every choice that you make in life has consequenses attached to it.

Therefore before making a choice THINK: What risks and consequenses are there to any given choice. In this case this married woman, has an attachment which is the husband.

In the end your happyness or misery is the result of the personal choices you make in life, that’s why i press you on the heart not to think light of the choices you make in life. THINK before you do and MAKE UP YOUR MIND on what you want, before going for the kill. Only do 1 thing at the time. End what you start and start again if something ends.

Exactly what I needed.

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