my dream, can someone please explain what it means?

Saturday 21/06/08 — 5:30am

It’s about 5:30am and I just woke up for the third time due to a nightmare tonight. It was pretty much a lucid dream, because I knew I was in a dream but it was still terrifying. I woke up immediately and wrote down notes, because I want these to stop. It’s extremely confusing and makes no sense, but please bear with me. I have dreams like this every night, but they are usually more twisted, I just couldn’t remember the details. I understand it’s extremely long, but I had to write down everything I could remember.

Okay, this one, like all my dreams is long and weird. Basically, my ex-girlfriend (we were together in the dream) and I were in "Europe" and we were in Russia, but it was actually like Venice.
I was floating around the canals which was more like a big fountain. There were roses in the canal that kept stabbing me, and sticking to me. My crush and her partner encountered me, and pointed to two of the roses and asked what they were. She took the roses, fearfully looked at my eyes, then was pulled away by her partner.
I pulled out a white and red rose and gave them to her, at which point I started to bleed heavily. Soliders started to come in and capture the already captured town, and I didn’t want to get caught so I tried to get "home". I had the power to fly, like in most dreams so my ex and I started to "fly" out of the water/garden up to the apartments up top. Outside the apartments were these power lines which resembled more of a "net". Hanging from these nets were thousands of dead people who were being hung. It was like a decoration to show who was in charge, which was a Stalin like figure. The other citizens were looking at the dead people, and looking at me. The sky had a frightening bone-brown colour, and I can’t even describe the feeling the scene gave. It was like I had something to do with it.

I finally got through the door of my apartment, and my ex suddenly turned into one of my best friends with whom I work. She was studying for her university exams this week. The interior of the apartment turned into the ruins of Sebilis (if anyone has played Everquest). There were Australian soliders walking about from the "war" I guess, and I recognised one. It turned out to be Jane’s (my best friend) close friend in real life. We started to chat for a bit, and everytime he looked at me, he looked disappointed, and would look away. He tried not to look at me at all when he continued his patrol, together Jane and I said "I respect soliders who are serving our country". At that point, Jane turns to me and says "Why aren’t you serving?" I replied to her that I was actually an intelligence officer and I had a mission I was carrying out. I can’t remember the mission exactly, but I know I was in some facility.

After that, Jane and I went to the bottom of this tower like structure which was covered with spider webs and dead insects. I have a deathly phobie of arachnids in real life, and at least once a night, I will wake up from a spider-related nightmare. It was dark inside, so she picked up a torch that was shaped like a cone which was made from spider webs. In the middle she lit it with a torch, and all the dead insects lit up into a fire. I jumped back, and she said "don’t worry, I killed all the spiders in here for you".
At this point I freaked out and started to fly around. As usual, I was being chased by creatures from my other dreams, and other locations I had dreamt about tonight all rolled into one. I had a "no-clipping" kind of power, where I could go through walls of each "dream", where in the middle of these "dream locations" I was safe.

I returned to the room where Jane was where I was confronted by an old man who also had the power to fly. He told me it was time for me to "go" and that I "knew why". I tried to fly away, but the tower was suddenly sealed and I couldn’t escape. The top of the tower had a fan which was had a small pull force. At the bottom of the tower a group of people had massed, with these people was my old boss (who I didn’t like) my new boss (who I don’t like) my sister and a couple other important figures in my life. They were all telling me to "go peacefully" and to "stop resisting". I pulled out a dagger and tried to attack the old man who was flying after me, but he could not be hurt.
Finally I landed where everyone grabbed me, the old man grabbed the knife from me and just before he struck, I woke up. As usual, I was horrified, sweating and paralysed for about a minute.


Couple of questions:
1) Do you think you’ve caused serious harm to other people….even if it was not intentional?

2) If yes, do you think it was caused by the fact that you were in their life and had you not been in their life that this harm would not have been caused to them?

3) Do you have a crush on Jane?

4) When you say you "knew why" it was time to leave….why?

5) Are you afraid of pursuing Jane because you’re afraid you’ll cause serious harm to her?
Hey there

I know my break up with my ex was pretty hard on us both. We’ve had a pretty rough relationship and she is already quite an emotional person. I think she’s recovered, as she just started to date somebody (though we’re both openly in love with each other). I feel guilty every day for the times that I’ve made her upset or sad in anyway.

Jane and I are just good friends, never any sexual or romantic attraction between us. We’ve only known each other a couple months, but are already really good friends.
I have a thing for another girl at work (the one whom I gave the rose to in the dream), but I’m still a bit iffy having just come out of a relationship, so my feelings on her aren’t too clear.. I think maybe I’m just looking for a distraction from my ex.
As much as I’d probably like something to happen there, I know that nothing can since I am going overseas in about six months, and I won’t be coming home for about a year. I think maybe that’s what the rose was signifying?

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